Help! Advice needed from parents.

I can't offer any advice, but have you checked out http://www.nightterrors.org/ ?

Might be something of use there.

Dakota had those for a little while a year ago. He would wake up everynight, at the same time, screaming because of a bad dream. As you have said, not fun at all.

I wish I had some advice for you, Kitty. Dakota's only lasted like 2 weeks. I got lucky.

On a side note, your daughter is almost the same age (about 2 weeks apart) from my son.

Wow, I'm sorry to hear of it.

I'm no expert or authority, but a couple of things come to mind. It seems like most of the things you mention-- the spray, the chant, the sweeping-- support her idea that there are monsters, but you've just shooed them away. I wonder whether you could retrench and just tell her there aren't any monsters to be worried about, and so you don't need the other rituals.

Given that this probably won't last long, it might also make sense to make exceptions to rules you normally wouldn't break. Can she keep her lights on for a few nights? Could you sleep with her in her bed, or let her sleep in yours?

Did your boyfriend move in recently? Any other recent changes in your homelife? Could this be some acting-out or manifestation of uncertainty in her psyche?

Exactly.
Anytime my daughter expresses fear about monsters, I remind her that they are make-believe. They are just silly fun like Sully and Elmo.
If you go shooing them away with a broom, you're just reinforcing her fear.
Also, ask her about the monsters. What are they doing? What do they want? Monster fears are often rooted in other real life stress she may have. Or something she saw on TV. If you can figure out what she's really stressing over, you can take steps to alleviate her fears. Don't just ask her if there's something else she's really afraid of. That will just go over her head. Just ask her questions about the monsters themselves. Then remind her that they aren't real.

I'm not a parent, but the world of cinema tells us that if you force your child to repress night terrors, the kids won't have to deal with the heart-pounding consequences until they are perky-breasted college students pursuing a psychology degree and romancing moody art students, at which point they'll probably be better versed in the usage of flame throwers and magnesium flares.

Hope that helps.

Actually, I've wondered about this myself - wondering what I'll do when my boy starts having nightmares - and one idea I had thought of was to give him a torch. You can tell them that the torch is magic, or something, and that it shows that the monsters aren't there (or makes them vanish). Now there is the chance that this would just reinforce the idea that monsters are there, but the important thing - I think - is to give them some tangible control over the situation. Once she's shone the torch and seen that monsters aren't there, it might make her feel like she has power over the problem, rather than relying on you to make it go away.

Just a suggestion.

Forgot for a second that Dan is British.

(torch=flashlight)

Yeah, I just got the image of his kid creeping through a deserted castle holding a burning torch and eating strumpets too. Damn wacky British slang.

Actually...

Yeah, I thought the same thing when I read Dan's post and figured, yeah, if your house is on fire, you're probably going to forget all about monsters.

If you go the flashlight route, kitty, my four year-old sleeps with this really cute one we bought from discovery toys. It's shaped like a tiger, with a handle on top. You push a button on its back and the mouth opens, revealing the beam of light and growling twice. It's cool.

She'll pull through this.

Let us know if anything works Kitty. I have an 8 week old (today is weeks by the way), and yall are giving yet new things to look forward to.

I don't sleep much as it is now having to get up and feed him at night sicne I am the stay-at-home-parent right now.

Let her watch Aliens before you put her to bed. I guarantee she won't be scared of monsters anymore.

My kids never had night-terrors like you describe but, like all kids (and adults) they do occassionally get freaked out at night.

Get a 8x10 glossy of Tom Aitkens and put it on the bedroom wall. Tell your kid that when they are scared the mighty but invisible Tom Aitkens is always there to kick monster ass.

Actually though I've found that trying to convince a really young kid that there are no such thing as monsters doesn't work so well. They simply don't recognize the difference between reality and make believe deep down. Their imaginations haven't been beaten into dust by real life yet. But the fantasy cure has to have some sort of basis in what they believe is truth. If the kids are activily involved in religion then a symbol or totum of this that they can rely on might help. Like saying a prayer or putting a Bible against the closet door.

For example for a while my kids were really freaked out by thunderstorms. They were afraid lighting would fry em in their beds. So I reminded the kids that lightning is attracted to metal and then took stacks of pennies and placed them on the window ledges in their rooms. I told them that if lightning did come into their room it would go to the pennies. It worked! Of course now, about 8 years later, they still stack pennies on the window ledge during storms.

This works on adults as well. Remember after 9/11 being advised to seal up your windows with plastic to prevent terrorists from getting you with poison gas?

But from the severity you describe this could be a more serious problem, perhaps even with a physical not psychological base. You should probably be consulting a pro, which you probably are doing anyways.

Have you ever thought of trying to convince your kid that monsters are real, but that they're not very dangerous?

You could hide in their closet wearing a scary mask and wait until they start to fall asleep, then rush at them screaming and gibbering. Maybe slash 'em a few times with your fingernails, or pick one up and slam it against the wall. Then pull off your mask and say, "See? The only monster here is ME." Then turn off the light and leave them there in the darkness to think about that for awhile. I think that could work. Kids like logic.

Actually, in his facetious child-hating closet-homosexual way, Slater may have a point.

Has she seen Monsters Inc? You could maybe use that to show her that she shouldn't be frightened of "Monsters".

Re: Help! Advice needed from parents.

I may have some useful advise, having been through some small episodes of that myself, as a parent.

1. This is very effective, do not allow the child to eat just before bed. It is best if three hours have passed since they last ate, before you put them in bed. The body can do one thing at a time. It can either reproduce itself and handle growth or it can digest food. It can't do both at the same time very effectively. Try and see if the no food for a few hours, works. Obviously, this is not for small babies that need to eat evey four hours.

Bad dreams are often caused by a lack of certain B vitamins. If your child is not on regular vitamins, check out the type where you give them a morning dose and an evening dose. Vitamin B1 is normally the culpert, however giving B1 without giving other minerals can cause its own problems. Teeth in particular suffer when a lack of calcium is not also given. The vitamins that are specifically for children and that are designed to be given both in the morning and at night are what helped us.

Lastly, if you aren't already doing it, a small night light can really help.

Best of luck, its good to know those episodes rarely last very long.

PS Stop watcing the Texas Chainsaw Massacure when she is present. KIDDING!

Re: Re: Help! Advice needed from parents.

Wait, are we talking about kids or Mogwai here? Because if it's a Mogwai, don't send it to bed hungry.

Ask her to describe the monsters. If she says they are "little doctors", monkeys, or small, grey figures with big, black eyes, proceed to shit your pants. Abduction ahoy!

Otherwise, I think the suggestions that everyone else has made are probably better than anything I can come up with. I especially like the Mosters, Inc. idea. I'm not looking forward to this stage with my son.

Re: Re: Help! Advice needed from parents.

Anyone who has enjoyed pizza and sex at the same time knows that this is utter crap.

strum·pet
n.
A woman prostitute.

What a delightful gaffe.

Re: Re: Re: Help! Advice needed from parents.

Or Peanut butter or whipped cream, but if you always go to sleep right after sex, you are probably leaving some important stuff undone, like CONVERSATION. She will make you pay, even if you aren't aware of it.

Bsides, at three, I don't think its on the list of top priorities.

Also, sleep after sex means you are denying yourself one of life's greatest manly pleasures. Having a go early, in fact first thing in morning. Most women don't seem to appreciate that as much as guys do, but what the heck.

The old, "lets get busy," right before you need to be somewhere and seeing if she wants you more than being on time, is also not bad! You know, like ten minutes before her parents are supposed to arrive.

The above has nothing to do with helping a child achieve a full night's sleep, but it will assist you with attaining the goal of sleeping like a baby.

Additionally, for some of you, the above only pertains when you have a partner, not when you are alone. You can do that whenever the mood strikes YOU and I'm sure many of you do.

Hi kitty. My daughter had the night terrors as well, around the same age actually. We tried several things, but what finally worked was the repeated affirmation that the monsters were only in her imagination and not real. We talked with her about dreams, and how they can make things seem real when they're not. Then we placed a dream catcher abover her bed and explained that it would pull out the bad dreams and give her only good ones. We also talked about nice dreams she could have that night, trying to set the stage for her. It wasn't an instant success, but a couple of weeks later it was working.

Hope her nights, and by extension your nights, become peaceful soon.

Gaffe? I see no gaffe.

English castles are full of hookers. Everyone knows this.

Sorry Kitty, but I knew she wasn't going to read these messages and besides, I am incorrigible, as you know by now, but I mean well.

Great news and the fact you took the trouble to ask, even knowing how some of us would respond, speaks highly about your concern and care as a mommy. Good for you.

How DARE you talk about sex or hookers in a thread about Kitty's child!

Come over to the sex forum and tell me more about these castles.