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"Bombaata! I need you!" CONAN THE DESTROYER

post #1 of 16
4/8/04 at 12:38pm
Thread Starter 
I've always had a fondness for this movie since I was but a meer manling. The wizard in the ice tower really freaks me out. As I said, I like the movie, but last night I realized something. Conan talks way too much. That's my only real quarrel though. I really liked Malek, his short sidekick. In retrospect, Wilt Chamberlain is not the man to send when you want a woman's virginity preserved.
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post #2 of 16
4/8/04 at 12:45pm
The guiltiest of pleasures.
My favorite part is when Conan's crew is surrounded by those guys in robes in a cave. One guy starts going on about the horn of life and their mission. Before the guy is done, Conan announces "Enough talk!" and throws a dagger into his gut. Hijinks ensue.
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post #3 of 16
4/8/04 at 12:51pm
Thread Starter 
And that monster that the wizard turns into... he screams the same way over and over again when Conan's kicking his ass. Its literally the same sound-byte of a scream over and over. Its still cool though.
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post #4 of 16
4/8/04 at 1:15pm
This movie sucks to high heaven and is a pale imitation of Conan the Barbarian but I still enjoy the hell out of it. I have too many favorite parts to list, but I've always though the best part was the very end when the princess asks Conan to be her king. Not only does he turn down the offer to be king with a smoking hot queen, but when she kisses him he doesn't even react. He's so hardcore and at the same time so sad.. That's my favorite moment in the whole thing, it's haunting.

Interesting side note- I had to get a tooth pulled once and in order to do it the dentist doped me up with nitrous oxide. I don't know how familiar everyone is with large doses of nitrous, but it's pretty crazy stuff. It did't knock me out or make me laugh, but it gave me the craziest floaty, detatched kind of feeling. Anyway, once they actually got around to pulling the tooth, I swear to God inside my head it sounded EXACTLY like when Conan rips the horn out of the monster's melon. I remember thinking that at the time and it became the only thing I laughed at while on laughing gas.
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post #5 of 16
4/8/04 at 2:00pm
I had to get a cavity filled, and my dentist gave me a LOT of nitrous. I was feeling pretty silly already, and the fact that he had a poster of squirrel saying welcome to my nut house tacked to the ceiling didn't help matters much.
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post #6 of 16
4/8/04 at 2:39pm
Ah, Conan the Destroyer, back when PG could deliver multiple stabbings, decapitations, and lots or other violence. Cool.

I used to enjoy the hell out of this one when I was a kid. I'm pretty sure I still would, but for some reason it seems to be one of the few dvds I have yet to add to my collection. What am I waiting for.

Conan's little sidekick sure was cool. Right now I'm picturing a part from the beginng where jumps behind some guy and stabs him over and over again in the sides with his little knives. Nice.

Love, the music. I have the soundtracks for both of the Conan movies. Good stuff. Now I just have to get off my butt and just pick up the dvd.

One cool thing about this movie... The swords get bloody. I remember noticing that when I was younger. It's as if there were lots of other movies to me where killing was done, but the swords were always nice and shiny, but nope, not Conan. Conan is a badass. He gets blood on his sword and it stays there.

And I used to cringe at the ned when Conanis ripping the horn off of that monster. Looks painful. I haven't seen this in years. I wonder if I'd still cringe.
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post #7 of 16
4/8/04 at 2:41pm
when i was a little one Olivia D'abo made me feel all funny down there.
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post #8 of 16
4/8/04 at 3:04pm
Thread Starter 
Sarah Douglas is so smoking hot. She has powers beyond reason.
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post #9 of 16
4/8/04 at 3:11pm
Ick. Sarah Douglas reminds me of an ugly chainsmoking aunt.

Olivia, however, is a tasty morsel indeed.
I would grab her! And take her!
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post #10 of 16
4/8/04 at 3:43pm
I saw this in the theaters 5 times. I've always had a fascination with edged weapons, & the Conan movies were the first I'd ever seen, where the players were swinging real steel, full force. CTB is the quintessential sword & sorcery epic, but CTD was still a great ride.

And concerning Olivia D'abo, I had dreams of the "I saw it again..." scene, for weeks afterward.
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post #11 of 16
4/8/04 at 4:22pm
I just ordered the double pack from deepdiscountdvd.com for $13.99. I already have the first one, but what the heck. They didn't even have the 2nd one by itself. Can't wait to see it again.
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post #12 of 16
4/8/04 at 4:47pm
Its a hilariously bad sequel. Its hard not to watch it though. DeLarentis really screwed the pooch by not bringing Milius back. I agree Conan talks too much in this. lol Gruber yeah that wizard continues to make the same sounds again and again there. Thats my favorite part in the movie though. The wizard seemed very S&S. Perhaps if Barbarian wasn't so good this would be ranked higher but it seemed like a cheap sequel in comparision.
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post #13 of 16
4/8/04 at 5:33pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Permanent Guest
"Hello perfect stranger! You and I will be best friends!" Repeat over and over.
That happens about 2 times in the whole movie. Is that all you didn't like about it?
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post #14 of 16
4/8/04 at 6:48pm
lol Those are good points and i'll say for many the score and the violence probably does put it above. However if you think Milius is bad filmmaker I feel sorry for you. The man knows his craft and delivers the goods. Jones is iconic as Thulsa Doom. I would say everything about the movie is first rate except the CGI work (which wasn't very good).
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post #15 of 16
4/9/04 at 10:55am
All I can say is:

"Lot on you knife! I mean... not on your life!"
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post #16 of 16
4/9/04 at 11:56am
What prase can be heaped on Conan the Barbarian which has not been already?

As for CtD, it just reminds me what could've been...A Milius written and directed Conan trilogy, which there will never be now.
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