Worst Thing You've Done, And Gotten Away With

Killed someone

I used to go to the Boys Club as a kid in the bay area. Well, a friend of mine and I stole a bunch of money out of some guy's locker... the locker was bent a little at the top and we just pulled and pulled until we could reach inside and grab the wallet out of the pants.

The head guy of the club sat all the summer kids down and screamed at us, trying to scare us into spilling the beans. My friend and I didn't say a word, but there were a couple kids who knew we had done it, I don't remember how. They never squealed, but I was shitting my pants because I was sure they would... not sure how my friend was feeling as the guy was screaming at us.

My friend and I decided to hide the money somewhere because we didn't trust each other to take it home. We found this alley right near the club and hid it in a paper bag and under a bunch of leaves. Retarted kids, I know.

It was a couple hundred dollars and the guy it belonged to was pissed. He never came back. We spent the money on cheeseburger and milkshakes and arcade games for the next couple months. It was great.

OH SHIT! Actually that wasn't the worst....

The same friend convinced me to break into a house in broad daylight. We broke a window on the back door and he climbed through. But we chickened out and ran... we ran around to the other side, into the middle of the neighborhood. I wanted to get the hell outta there, but my friend was a demented son of a bitch with balls and he made me stay. I didn't know what for, and was freaking out. A guy came out of his house and I wanted to run, but my friend actually went up to the guy... the guy told him he heard a glass break. My friend told him that we had seen two hoodlums break into the house and we scared them away. I had no idea what he was up to, but it became apparent when the old woman who lived in the house came home moments later and gave us CASH REWARDS for scaring away the burglars. We were laughing all the way to the arcade.

So thaaaat's why he ended up gay.

I doctored a picture of Mars to make it look like it had a face on it. The internet has never been the same since.

Mommy! I'm so sorry mommy! Please don't use the tongs, mommy!

I think the worst thing I ever did without getting caught was shoplifting. I only did it twice, and in all I stole under 5 dollars worth of useless crap, but I felt quite guilty afterwards, which is weird because my conscience is usually half dead in a little cell somewhere.

It was one of my few experiments I actually regret, because I was actually hurting other people (in a small way) and most of my antics only hurt me. I suppose I am glad that I tried it and got it out of the way to determine that stealing is useless and moronic, but I still sort of wish I could have avoided the whole experience.

Slept with a married woman... my best friend's wife.

Isn't that always how it is?

No.

Stole porno, candy, and basketball cards when I was younger.

Purposefully spit gum in someones hair on the school bus.

Threw a big hunk of dried mud and rocks at a girls head in 2nd grade (not on purpose mind you, we were all waiting on the bus and dropping rocks off the side of a hill).

Peed on the playground slide in 3rd grade.

A group of 7 of us were so damn wasted at this club on the Sunset Strip. My buddy and I noticed this chick's purse right next to us. The girl it belonged to was drunk and all over some piece of man-meat on the dance floor. In our drunken frenzy, we robbed the chick blind of about $145 (which I took) and a cell phone (which my friend took).

This was 2 years ago. Last year, my car's radio was stolen. Karma? Maybe. All I know is that those $145 got spent FAST... on a post-drunken meal of waffles with a side of cheesecake for EVERYONE.

Good eatin'.

I killed a guy, skinned him and made various furniture out of his skin.

I added a cgi Jabba the Hutt in "A New Hope"! What ever, What ever, I do what I want!

Lost faith in the basic decency of the white man's culture.

Haha obviously you've never seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, it's kinda a ripoff from that. But yeah, that's the whole point. Your post I mean.

You did this? And got away with it? And now you take risks by posting about it on the internet?

Or didya get busted?

You know that JFK guy? You know how some guy shot him?

Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's right.

So says Johnny Cash.

This is like a Simple Plan, I guess you can say.

My dad and I went to go visit my sister in Houston. We were going to Chili's one day, and I came across this green bank pouch that had 350 dollars inside. My whole family(including me)thought we hit the jackpot, but we decided that we would turn the money in if it got paged.

Morally corrupt people that we were; we were really hoping that no one would page for the money. My brother-in-law, however, noted that a couple of tables down was an asian family in distress. They seemed to be looking for something after their check arrived. By the body language, we gathered that they were looking for some money. The father of the family, we assumed, left the table and decided to look for the money in his car.

He came back with double the distress, and from this deductive reasoning we gathered that this was the family who lost their money.

We kept the money anway.

Man for once I am glad that I have no real storys to add to a thread. Not that I haven't done wrong things in my life just not to the scale of stealing 100+ dollars or prank calling 911.

(yeah I don't have the guts to do most of the real stuff mentioned above)

the only thing I can think of that I did is when I was 3 or so I terrorized the family cat so that it ran away and did not return... Damn I was such an ass as a toddler.

Im hoping that most of the stuff in this thread is made up.

Most are, but there's things I'm never telling here...or anywhere else. I have my own demons to deal with for those things.

pulled a gun on somebody and smacked his girl.
assaulted a pizza man
had sex with a slut
.
the law didn't get me, but my conscience makes me weary...
no, really i promise...

man, yours is a family that's entirely evil, then. you don't see that too often.

I once killed a drifter to get an erection.

Cousins.

Two.

At the same time.

But it wasn´t the "worst thing", it was the best, actually. And we didn´t completelly "get away" with it. My sister opened the door during the act. She didn´t tell anyone, though.

I slept with a guy who had a girlfriend. I knew he had a girlfriend. I slept with him anyway. DISCLAIMER: I didn't have a boyfriend at the time (nor have I ever cheated on any guy I've dated). But that still doesn't excuse my little liason entitled, "Summer of '95: That One Time I Suddenly Had the Morals of an Alleycat".

Oh! I forgot to mention one other aspect.

Our table was adjacent to the "To Go" section, and there was this crazy guy just pacing back and forth. He eventually calmed down and sat down in a booth. But this really bitchy hostess rudely told him that these booths are only for dine-in customers. The antsy dude just totally stormed out! I was worried that he was going to come back into the resturant and shoot the place up. But thankfully, that never happened.

I told my dad about the guy, and my dad said he wished the crazy guy would come in and shoot, at least, the family whose money we stole. He reasoned that if this happened; he wouldn't have to feel guilty for stealing the money.

Same here. I have skeletons in my closet I don't want the general public to know about.

When I was in 10th grade (16) I lost my virginity to a guy (17) that had a girlfriend...a 9th grader...who was 6+ months pregnant. Oddly enough I was so concerned about myself, and losing my virginity that I felt no guilt at all towards her. Even when she came to his house about 10 minutes after we had finished and she saw me leave his room. She was friendly and nice to me, so I should have felt bad but I didn't. Maybe because the sex was so awful and I felt truly disgusted. On top of that, I let him talk me out of using a condom, even though I knew he had a baby on the way.

I have no idea if she knew what had happened and ignored it or if she really thought that we were studying, but I never heard any talk at school, so I can only assume that no one found out.

That was, hands down, the dumbest, most horrible thing I have ever done in my life.

[Edited to add that I have since never touched another man that had a girlfriend or cheated on my boyfriend - I am a good girl, I swear it!]

Done lots of bad stuff....but the best and funniest to me was that I was working at a gas station a long,long time ago, and this teacher that hated me and used to flunk me for fun came in. He payed with a credit card and I ended up telling him that our machine was down so I had to use the old clunky card copier. I sneakly put in two carbon copies and rang him up. Later that night a buddy and I smoked alot of pot and ended up calling sex lines for about 10 hours with his credit card number. We ended up calling our friends to listen in and have some fun. I even called up an ex girlfriend who had wronged me and left a message on her mom's machine with these 2 girls and some dude getting it on and talking about sticking baseball bats up various orifices and whatnot. We must have charged at least 1000-2000 dollars that night on his card. Would of loved to have seen his wife's face when she got the credit card bill in the mail.

Otherwise did the basic "I'm a 13 year old shoplifter stuff" and things of that nature. Used to walk into Barnes and Noble and steal like 5-10 Hardcover roleplaying books and then walked over to Shinders and sell them. THat was a good racket for a while...I've been working on getting my Karma into a good state for the past few years because of all of that.

When I was about twelve, a friend and I took his video camera and then he filmed me as I walked into houses around our neighborhood and ate their food. We thought it was hilarious! We just walked in and raided their fridge, their cupboards, their diabetic husband's "stashes" of candy, anything we could get our hands on, pretty much. Some families were sitting around eating or watching a movie and we would just walk in and be like "Hey, we're eatin' your food no matter what BIOTCH!" The tape's especially funny when one chick threatens to call the cops.

CLASSIC!

But the worst thing morally is when I went fishing in a restricted (only 12 years or younger, or the mentally challenged are a llowed to fish) area, and a cop showed up and asked my friend and me how old we were. My friend was honest and said 15. The cop gave him the ticket, COMPLETE WITH 150 DOLLAR FINE. I was like - no way I'm paying that - so when he started to talk to me I acted as if I was mentally handicapped to get out of the ticket. It worked.

I got wise and dropped the situation, I think he found out, but he was doing the gay thing, so he wasn't exactly having sex with his wife at the time I found out later. I have a wife now, and hopefully karma won't come back and bite me on the butt.

I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

I once gave $10 million to some guy names Ball or Boll. Don't know what he ever did with it.

Oh. Ohhhhhh...

The worst thing I ever got away with was driving drunk dow the wrong side of the highway. Really. I am lucky I didn't kill anyone. Karma got me on that one later.

Another thing I mastermined was when I was in high school, my friends and I found some old toilets. So we did what anyone would do. We shit in them and put them on top of the sign out in front of our school. There were some real monsters in there. We did it like three times. The school never even really tried to figure out who did it, I think they were more puzzled than mad. I still say you haven't lived until you've shit in the back of a moving Bronco with 6 people in it.

I once pissed in the coin return cup of a change machine in a bar, and I also pissed in a pitcher and left the half full pitcher on a bar table.

There were some people getting change, and some chickie started to dry off her hand on her shirt and I heard her remark, "There's water in the machine."

Well this all makes me feel better

Well I have to say, after listening to all your lovely stories, I'm feeling a lot better about myself. Lol, I haven't committed any major crimes besides slightly exercising my new freedoms as a college student. Discovering boys might have killed my lily white image a little, but hey, even there I can still blink my eyes in relative innocence. And while alcohol and a little weed (oh my!) are beautiful substances, I don't test my limits or become a klepto while at it...obviously we all do things that we're not proud of and are morally iffy, (I'll keep those to myself thank you) but i'd like to think that I wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone. Somehow my faith in what others would do is a little shaken.

(not to preach, because I'm feeling much better now about my latest booboo)

Come one DreamOn, fess up. There's got to be some skeletons in the closet.

I have a friend who's parents own a cottage out by a lake. A big group of us would go out there, get absolutely wasted and the first person to pass out was usually regretting it the next morning. Usually it was dumb stuff like shaving one eyebrow, coloring all over their faces with felt pen... stupid stuff like that. But one year, we took the guy that passed out, threw him in a canoe and pushed it out into the lake. No paddle, no life jacket.

We actually had to go out in the ski-boat to find him the next day. Luckily the canoe hadn't capsized or he hadn't rolled out in his drunken slumber, but DAMN he was pissed off at us when we found him. I'm just glad we found him alive.

That's about the worst thing I can think of that I'll actually admit to here.

Murdoc, as soon as I saw the words "cottage out by a lake" and "absolutely wasted," I thought the next line was going to be "...and then we found our friends in bed, naked, with a hatchet through both their heads."

Swear to god!

Well, there was this time this crazy old lady killed a bunch of us while ranting about her dead son or some-such-nonesense.

But my therapist told me not to talk about that anymore.

Never go drinking with Murdoc when he's at Camp Crystal Lake...

When I was a kid my friend and I would piss in a jar several times until it was near full, then let it sit for a couple weeks with the top on. Then we'd take the jar to the roof of a building and pour the contents onto some poor sap's head. As soon as we opened the top, the stink was unbelievable, so I can't imagine what it did to them.

Haha, well here's all you have to know (or all you will know since I enjoy my privacy):
I don't cheat, steal, maim, or destroy. I don't screw my best friends, literally or figuratively. I don't do disgusting things with bodily waste products (thankyou Colt45...). I don't play with people's heads besides a little subtlety they'd never notice anyways. In general I don't take a lot of pleasure out of seeing other people in distress.

No, I'm not a Ms. Goody-Two Shoes. Actually, I'm sure a lot of people would find my morals lacking. But at least when I go to bed, my conscience is relatively clear, I haven't completely ruined anyone's day, murdered someone's confidence level, hurt or betrayed someone, or the million of other little things that I can't stand when people do to me so why would I have the right to put anyone else throught them?

Ok, sidenote, something I've gotten away with but hopefully hasn't and will not have any awful consequences. Senior year highschool (I'm a college sophmore now), my best friend of ten years met someone online. After six months of talking to this internet sweetheart, they decided they wanted, no HAD to, meet. I, as the best friend, became the slightly uneasy accomplice in getting this to work while pulling the wool over her EXTEMELY strict and paranoid father. This man, no joke, checks the mileage on her car and calls her every few hours even though his daughter was a good girl, at least at this time. So I loaned her my baby (my car) to drive four hours where she would meet this guy at some random hotel in Fremont, Indiana. We hoarded cash, we made recordings of my voice saying hello, hold on a second, I'll get Meg so he thought I was there (remember, he was paranoid for his only little girl's well-being), and I nervously waited for every check-in phone call from her to make sure this guy wasn't a psycho murderer. Luckily, they've been together since then, and visited each other 12 times, although daddy dearest only knows of two occasions. Yeah, try explaining that one to her father if it gets really serious.
Then there's the normal testing out freedom where we went to clubs downtown or parties when we were strictly told we weren't allowed to by the parental units. This caused elaborate I'm-sleeping-at-her-house, she's-sleeping-at-my-house lies when we in actuality slept in the car (not comfortable I might add).
Hmmm. We went to a strip club once when we turned 18.
College got worse, won't go into that, but I'm not that wild because I hate regrets and losing control.
Greatest crime: manipulation, amazing at it, hate it with a passion.

Yawn.

Because this is so much more interesting...
Let's see what you got then, hmmm?

Heh. I've already aired out my demons on this thread. Read some comments above.

I've stolen A SHITLOAD of stuff from the blockbuster that I worked. DVD players, Video Games, etc. Not exactly anything to brag about(which doesn't stop me), but it can be really fun.

<applause> Oh yes, you definitely have better.

Didn't connect you right away with that completely morally depraved, conscienceless person I remembered reading about before. My mistake.

Maybe we should give you a break because it runs in your family? Dad's a real winner there.

Why are we bragging again about what we've done and gotten away with?? (I did it too)