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Disinvited

post #1 of 24
6/20/04 at 8:15pm
Thread Starter 
I've been disinvited to my sister's wedding for suggesting that she - rather than I - should pay for my parents to travel to it. She's having a cheap out of the country wedding and she and her husband pull down $250,000 combined per year while my parents make about $45K combined. She hasn't re-invited me and the date is fast approaching, so I guess I'm really not going to be at her wedding.

This is so depressing; we've never been especially close, but she's my one sibling. I hate family shit.
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post #2 of 24
6/20/04 at 8:28pm
That's one of the most fucked-up situations I've ever heard of. I can't believe someone would actually disinvite their own brother to their wedding. I'm so mad right now, I can't offer any advice! If I say anything, it's gonna be about your sister, and it's gonna get really unconfortable between us.
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post #3 of 24
6/20/04 at 8:40pm
Whoa, either your sister's a hell of a jerk, or you did something more than what you're telling us.
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post #4 of 24
6/20/04 at 9:40pm
Show up anyway, smelly and drunk.
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post #5 of 24
6/20/04 at 10:04pm
Believe it...

Although circumstances are completely different, I really doubt my future "in laws" will even come to our wedding. Some people are just mean, unintelligent, illogical and all around poor excuses for human beings.
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post #6 of 24
6/20/04 at 10:06pm
The only thing I can say in her defense is this:

Usually the bride's parents pay for the wedding. At least they're being spared that. Right?
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post #7 of 24
6/21/04 at 12:09am
Do your parents know about this? And if so, what do they have to say about it?
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post #8 of 24
6/21/04 at 5:41am
Quote:
Originally posted by Pumpkin eater
Screw her and forget it.
This is VERY poorly phrased.
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post #9 of 24
6/21/04 at 12:51pm
I'm guessing that Ayn Rand figures into this situation somehow.
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post #10 of 24
6/21/04 at 12:58pm
Did you ever offer to pay for the parents to go to her wedding? It's her wedding, not yours. Getting the guests and family there is her problem, not yours.

I'd like to see how far I'd get tapping my siblings up for wedding expenses. "Not far," is my preliminary guess.
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post #11 of 24
6/21/04 at 1:06pm
If you show up, it's not like the wedding won't go on with you there.
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post #12 of 24
6/21/04 at 2:59pm
Just send them a gift. I recommend a 8 dollar toaster from Wal-Mart with a polaroid of you giving a thumbs-up.
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post #13 of 24
6/21/04 at 3:35pm
get a dirt cheap ticket on Priceline at the last minute, or do standby in your kimono, show up doing Farce's drunk idea and piss on the cake, then there'll be no question as to where you both stand...
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post #14 of 24
6/21/04 at 3:43pm
Is she confused about the fact that this is HER wedding and not yours? She doesn't still expect you to pay for your folks does she? Either way, your sister sounds like a real peach (that's PC speak for bitch) Is her future husband as big a douchebag as she sounds like? Honestly, the only concern I would ever have is if they have kids and you never get to know your nieces/nephews. But then again, if she raises them to be as petty and vindictive as your making her out to be, you may just end up smacking them around.

Of course, this doesn't take into account her side of the story but nevertheless, if my sister was getting married and she asked me to pay for my parents trip, I would in no uncertain terms tell her to go fuck herself.
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post #15 of 24
6/21/04 at 3:56pm
Quote:
Originally posted by Werbal_Kint
Just send them a gift. I recommend a 8 dollar toaster from Wal-Mart with a polaroid of you giving a thumbs-up.
That's the greatest idea in the history of greatest ideas! I may have found a wedding present for all of my friends who are getting married this year.
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post #16 of 24
6/21/04 at 7:59pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Diva
Do your parents know about this? And if so, what do they have to say about it?
Yeah, they know about it, and they're pretty devastated. At first they were really angry at me for screwing up the wedding, but now they're just sad.

It's doubly hard because, as Nick I think pointed out, the bride's parents traditionally pay for the wedding. We've all considered that impossible in this case because 1) they don't have any money (my dad is the archetypal "unemployed steelworker" who now stocks shelves at Wal-Mart), and 2) partly through some small help from me over the last ten years and lots of loans, my sister is a 34 year old obstetrician.

Thanks for the responses. I was so depressed after writing this last night that I just went to sleep. Anyway, I know you're not supposed to share personal shit on the Internet, but I felt the need and even typing it out helped.
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post #17 of 24
6/21/04 at 8:00pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally posted by Alice in Wonderland
Did you ever offer to pay for the parents to go to her wedding? It's her wedding, not yours. Getting the guests and family there is her problem, not yours.

I'd like to see how far I'd get tapping my siblings up for wedding expenses. "Not far," is my preliminary guess.
I never offered to. Because they felt more comfortable coming to me, I ended up putting my parents' hotel room on my credit card at one point. If she were strapped, I'd actually be happy to help. But she's pulling down much bigger bucks than me at this point.
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post #18 of 24
6/21/04 at 8:53pm
Quote:
Originally posted by Marcus Brody
Yeah, they know about it, and they're pretty devastated. At first they were really angry at me for screwing up the wedding, but now they're just sad.
Did your parents say they couldn't afford to go? Did your sister even think about them when she started planning the wedding? You already helped by paying for their hotel room, why are you suddenly the bad guy? And why are your parents such pansy's that they can't tell your sister to stop being such a bitch?

This whole scenario seems fishy. I'm not saying you made it up, but I don't get your parents or your sister's motivations in all this.
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post #19 of 24
6/21/04 at 9:24pm
pay anyway... people get very nuts prior to weddings... not to mention, it'd make you the MUCH bigger person.
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post #20 of 24
6/21/04 at 9:27pm
Fishy indeed. Diva and I will need the dirt on your brother in law in order to fully dissect the situation.
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post #21 of 24
6/22/04 at 3:13pm
Quote:
Originally posted by Jim Pappas/Jabba
Sounds to me like your sister is ashamed of your parents. After all, she is a big time doctor, and she is sooo much better than the riff raff, right? She KNEW you wouldn't want to pay for your parents to attend, so this way (in her stuck up little mind) she can blame YOU for being "the bad guy." I would ask her, point blank, why she, who makes so much money, thinks you, who I presume doesn't make that much, should have to pay for HER parents (and yours) to attend?

I suspect she also wants the extra bucks for her, undoubtedly planned, "fabulous jet-setter, high society" honeymoon. I feel she probably needs a dose of humility injected into her from somewhere. Of course, I could be wrong.
CORRECTAMUNDO!

If I were Marcus Brody, I simply wouldn't attend, send a gift, make a phone call or anything else family or not.
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post #22 of 24
6/22/04 at 5:04pm
Quote:
Originally posted by Stuber
pay anyway... people get very nuts prior to weddings... not to mention, it'd make you the MUCH bigger person.
that's a good point, you should just go to the wedding, my brother-in-law pulls in over a hundred grand himself and i always have to lend him a few bucks here and there becasue he still lives paycheck to paycheck, and i'm a poor grad student, paycheck means nothing if they're blowing it on donuts, and i doubt you can honestly speak as to the present financial status of your sister, she could've blown all her kale on the wedding alone...

and it's family, suck it up, take a boat if you have to, pop a dramamine, and just go to the fuckin' thing, because despite all of this... you know you really want to...
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post #23 of 24
6/22/04 at 5:41pm
Quote:
Originally posted by _New__Order_
that's a good point, you should just go to the wedding, my brother-in-law pulls in over a hundred grand himself and i always have to lend him a few bucks here and there becasue he still lives paycheck to paycheck, and i'm a poor grad student, paycheck means nothing if they're blowing it on donuts, and i doubt you can honestly speak as to the present financial status of your sister, she could've blown all her kale on the wedding alone...

and it's family, suck it up, take a boat if you have to, pop a dramamine, and just go to the fuckin' thing, because despite all of this... you know you really want to...
He's not invited is the problem. Furthermore, his sister sounds the type to throw a big fucking stink about him showing now that he's been "disowned". Of course, she may be the emotionally manipulative type that just cooked this whole thing up to get her way. Do my wife and your sister know each other?
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post #24 of 24
6/22/04 at 6:01pm
Quote:
Originally posted by sweaterbydarwin
He's not invited is the problem. Furthermore, his sister sounds the type to throw a big fucking stink about him showing now that he's been "disowned". Of course, she may be the emotionally manipulative type that just cooked this whole thing up to get her way. Do my wife and your sister know each other?
none of us really know what the situation is, i could presume that the basis of the retracted invite was based on him not being able to go, which could be nullified by the purchase of a ticket, i could presume that she doesn't want anything to do with her family because even though they may all be poor, they could be the biggest pricks in the world, i could assume that i know everything about his sister based on this thread alone, i could presume that you are mentally unstable based on your post which is based on second hand knowledge and third and fourth party opinion, i could presume that my sister and your wife had known each other at one point in their lives, or i could presume you were just making a joke...

the bottom line is he can't go to his sister's wedding, and that is a sad thing, i'm merely stating that he should try his best to whether invited or not, only because i would presume that i would crash the wedding if i were in this position and it was my own sister who was getting married...
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