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Stupid Contests

post #1 of 40
Thread Starter 
(Not real) New quarter-eater at the local arcade...STUPID CONTESTS, a street fighter style game inspired by X-Men Vrs Street Fighter.

First in the ring:

Wolverine vrs Indiana Jones.

GO!
post #2 of 40
Thread Starter 
Wolvie and Indy decide to go get a beer instead of fighting.

Pappa Smurf vrs Mystique.

GO!
post #3 of 40
Pappa Smurf is struck by her blue beauty, and refuses to do battle.

Christopher Pike vs Christopher Reeve

GO!
post #4 of 40
Thread Starter 
That one took a minute....
Christopher Reeves wins (Charisma plus dexterity, 8 successes).

The damn monkeis in Dinosaur vers the TRex in Jurrasic Park.
GO!
post #5 of 40
The t-rex, amused by the "love monkeys", eats all of the annoying primates with a single chomp. Yum.

Next: Mystery Men's Mr. Furious V.S. An orange Jell-o mold with carrot shavings.

Peace.
post #6 of 40
Orange Jell-o Mold.

Because Mr. Furious is a fictional character.
post #7 of 40
Thanks for ending the thread, Low.
post #8 of 40
Blofeld vs. LowShot.

it's a natural progression.
post #9 of 40
Thread Starter 
Blofeld, because that staves off retribution from the loser for 2 weeks. Besides, Lowshot went for the newtons, and Blofeld already gave those up, allowing Blofeld to box Lowshots' ears. Once the ears are boxed, it's all over.

The "Eat more chiken" cows from the Chikfil-a ads vrs the Tweedy Farm fowl from Chicken Run.
GO!

[This message has been edited by Coyote (edited 06-30-2000).]
post #10 of 40
The "Eat more chickens" cows, because it's easier to eat a whole chicken than a whole cow.

**and if anyone wants one of LowShots ears, I've got them boxed and ready to mail**

Mark Wahlberg vs. George Clooney

(Would this fight even take place, thereby assuring the winner of never working again?)
post #11 of 40
Crispen Glover vs. David Letterman
post #12 of 40
Thanks for breaking the thread, Penguin...
Now we have two fights running.
But I'll reduce it down to one.
Crispin Glover would win, because he would confuse David Letterman with his existence, thereby being able to land the killing blow.
Back to: Mark Wahlberg vs George Clooney...
post #13 of 40
Clooney, momentarily distracted by Wahlberg's ludicrous prosthetic Johnson, is defeated, giggling as he hits the floor.

Cap'n Crunch V.S. Cap'n America!

GO!
post #14 of 40
Thread Starter 
Captain Crunch, because CA is still too embaressed to do anything after that movie.

Geraldo Rivera vrs Kenneth Starr
GO!
post #15 of 40
Kenneth Starr.

Geraldo may have been a boxer, but Kenn Starr has them weaselly sharp teeth. He'd duck, bob, weave, then DROP to the floor and with one snap of his incisors snip Geraldo's fun-bag off and dangle the victory prize between his teeth.

Now:

Creedence Clearwater Revival vs. L7!

GO!
post #16 of 40
L7-because they would pretend they were dead, confusing CCR-then Donita Sparks would land the deathblow when Fogerty wasn't lookin.
post #17 of 40
By the way-Glover defeats Letterman because HE'S STRONG...HE CAN KICK!

Television history, that.
post #18 of 40
Thread Starter 
Mad Max vrs Mrtin Riggs.
Go!
post #19 of 40
They attack each other and mutate into a Ron Silver at the end of TimeCop-style blob, because the same matter can't occupy the same space.
post #20 of 40
Chaisaws and M-80's VS Flatulence?

B&B hands down.
post #21 of 40
I didn't list a new fight-I answered the question. Read t again.

Know when to say when, you little tape deity...
post #22 of 40
Debbie-'cause at least she's cute.
post #23 of 40
The Tick V.S. The Thing (Ben Grimm)?

GO!
post #24 of 40
The Tick, because he would yell SPOOOOOOON! This would confuse and disorient the Thing, Ben would then forget where he was and wander off.

Tong Po(Kickboxer) vs. Chun Li(Bloodsport)

GO!
post #25 of 40
Blade, if Danny Glover can beat the Predator, then Blade can definately beat the Predator.

Robocop vs. Terminator(original)

GO!
post #26 of 40
Robocop because he's powered by the Nitromethane-packed baby food.

Bill Gates vs Larry Ellison

-CLICK!-
post #27 of 40
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
"Have fun stormin' the castle!"

Anyway, regarding the Marines/Predator/Aliens/Vikings:

The Victor - Box Office

**********
The Martians from War of the Worlds
vs
The Martians from Mars Attacks!
"ack, ack-ack!"
post #28 of 40
Just because I thought all three were cool - and I couldn't decide.
post #29 of 40
How the hell do you call yourself Video God if you haven't seen the Princess Bride??? For the love of GOD!!! The kid sees a few movies and thinks he's friggin Roger Ebert...

OK
Igor (Young Frankenstein)
VS
Benny (The Mummy)


GO!
post #30 of 40
Frank Black just because
Indigo girls
Vs
Andrew Dice Clay
go
post #31 of 40
Indigo Girls - because Dice has been hopelessley inept at everything in life.

Bill Hicks vs Dennis Leary

(you guys better come up with the right answer on this one...)
post #32 of 40
Edward Norton beating himself vs Jim Carrey beating himself (oh wait, we did that)

(Logan 1) Mr. T vs Murdock

(Logan 2) Baroness vs Destro

(Logan 3) Ensemble cast of "Magnum P.I." vs ensemble cast of "Riptide"

(Logan 4) Napoleon vs ABBA (singing "Waterloo")

Chew on these.

------------------
Soon to BE a CHUD topic.
post #33 of 40
Murdoch because he's a crazy mother fucker
Destro because the Baroness was always his bitch and his face was metal
Magnum P.I. because Selleck is so cool as is his boss
ABBA because nobody can stand the assault of them singing

Jar-Jar Binks vs. David Arquette(1-800-CALL-ATT guy)

GO!
post #34 of 40
Shaft would fuck Mr. T up after porkin' his woman. No contest.

Great Taste vs. Less Filling

GO!
post #35 of 40
Great Taste always wins!

Rocket T. Squirrel

vs

Slappy Squirrel


*raises starter pistol* Bang!
post #36 of 40
EyeBall Kid, some times it takes a while to get to the fights...

Bill Hicks would win because Leary would fall over dead with 3 cigarettes in his mouth as Hicks dug himself out of the ground.

Lets continue the comedic warfare...

Andy Kaufman
VS
Richard Pryor

(Get creative)
post #37 of 40
Gary Oldman! Period!

and now.....

Returning to defend his championship:

Gary Oldman as Bram's Vamp
-vs-
Gary Oldman as ZORG

heehee....go!
post #38 of 40
Hannibal, definitely Hannibal. The one scene is enough....you know the one..."hvvvv-hvvvv!"

The Playoff:

Hannibal
-vs-
Oldman's Drac

---I want front-row seats for this evil-fest--

ready, bite!
post #39 of 40
Since Willis is dead (er, just in the film. Don't want to start any rumors...), Bacon wins by default.

Godzilla (Toho) vs Godzilla (Emmerich and Devlin)

go!

[This message has been edited by eyeball kid (edited 07-03-2000).]
post #40 of 40
Thread Starter 
Mozilla wins.
(Netscape vrs IE...go...ah, nevermind.)
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