WTF....Time for another dose of Uwe Boll bashing!!

I don't think the promo was all that bad. I'm actually cheering for this guy because he's still making movies, which I want to be good. I'm hoping HOTD is just an anomally. a very very bad horrific anomally

I've already said it in that other Boll thread but people seem to have decided to ignore that moviemaking is a BUSINESS. It's about money and not about artistic achievements. What Boll makes are video game flicks. He can crank them out on the cheap ($10 million is cheap and I don't buy that $47 million story) and they automatically make their investment back through foreign sales and home video even if the film bombs theatrically. HOUSE OF THE DEAD, despite all the hate it deservedly gets, has been a financial success. When Boll walks into a meeting nobody will ask "Oh, how did the internet fan community rate the film?" or "Did you make a great, innovative movie?" They see he is capeable of making them a profit and that's all that counts.

So sad but so true.

I suppose we'll just have to wait until he destroys someones career and they send the word out to the rest of hollywood.

Seriously, I don't care about financial success, Boll thinks he's good CAUSE of his so called financial success.

I think one of those New Yorkers in Spider-man got it right when he said "He stinks and I don't like 'em"

Agian, I must say it won't be long until he goes on CHUD, he's boasted about owning a PC, he MUST read these. I also know that if he read this post and replied he qould quote my financial part and then tell us all how he makes more than us, to which i'd reply that I could film ants stealing food from a picnic and have a better action scene than him.

Sersiously, you guys even read his filmography on AitD's website? It includes all these simplistic y named Super 8 films. That's sad he has to pad his filmography, that's like if I put "dishwasher" in my resume. Really. I made a lego movie more interesting than Uwe Boll with skeleton legos that somehow seemed scarier than those dirt covered extras, which by the way he hired for practically free, I know that when our local newpaper reporter went to visit the set of hotD they made him up like a zombie, as a "perk".

But to end this rambling about my hatred i'll restate the main reasons I hate Boll is cause he's unprofessional and thinks his action was unlike anything QT has offered, and i think he meant that as though he was better than QT, thankfully thats not true because South would be North and North would be South and this would confuse the poor poor penguins. Really, Uwe Boll is crazy, I am so sure of it, and the only reason he gets away with it besdes that stupid financial loophole is that it's illegal to kill someone in the N. america and he's so bad no one really cares enough to raise a red flag to studios about him.

I have no doubt Alone in the Dark will be a failure simply because it has a taxi on taxi car chase with two leads who look the same and this is a story concerning monsters.

Hell, I don't think anyone ever liked HotD, my aim buddy saw it in theatres and said it was like getting raped and that at the end someone just yelled "That was pathetic" at the screen. I only hope they snuck into a better movie.

Now I can't stop thinking about that episode of Twilight Zone where the pool player wants to be the best and beats that ghost and then becomes fucked once he realises he's stuck in limbo until someone bests him and he has to wait for all eternity. Somehow I can't help but think Ed Wood has been stripped in a similiar fashion.

Man how can someone, even boll think his films good. It's how i always see it, when the creator thinks it's good but the people think it's wrong, the press think it's wrong, and everyone else think it's wrong, how in the blazes can you be right? The ratio of fans to potential murderers of Uwe boll is about 1: 597,435,988 and that one Fan.........Boll.

I have to stop now or i'll go on forever.

The thing is, its really not a good business move to invest in someone responsible for a movie that even the lowest of the mouth-breathing, slack-jawed Van Helsing lovers out there hated. I work at a rental place, and even the idiots in Big Johnson hats and greasy jeans said "That Dead House movie was a real piece of shit." These people are probably less likely to see something that says "From the Director of HOTD" than something without that shining endorsement. He may get the job done for the right price, but 99% of the people who see a Uwe Boll film will end up pissed that they wasted the money, and are not likely to do so again.

Dr. Uwe Boll (Director/Producer) was born June 22, 1965 in Wermelskirchen, Germany. As a child, he produced a number of short films on Super 8 and video before beginning his studies as a film director in Munich and Vienna where he also studied literature, film and economics in Cologne and Siegen.
Since 1995, he has been a producer and director with TaunusFilm-Produktions GmbH, Wiesbaden and Chief Executive Officer of BOLU FILMPRODUCTION AND DISTRIBUTION GMBH since 1992.
filmography

1984: Forrest (8mm), 7 min.
Scripts: Eric and Kane; The Shine of Wind

1985: Death (Video, VHS), 95 min.

1986: The Valley of the Ancients (Video, VHS), 76 min.
Personal Records I (U-matic, low), 122 min.
Script: Underground

1987: Script: The Trip

1988: Personal Records II (U-matic, low), 122 min.

1989: Suicide (16mm), 7 min.
The Student (Video, VHS), 67 min.
Script: German Fried Movie (First Draft)

1990: Personal Records III (U-matic, low), 109 min.
Script: German Fried Movie (Second Draft)

1991: GERMAN FRIED MOVIE (35mm), 90 min.

1992: Script: MURDER IN GENEVE
BARSCHEL - MURDER IN GENEVE (35mm), 75 min.

1993: RUN AMOK (35mm), 68 min. - (Festival: Max-Ophüls-Price)

Script: The First Semester (Director's-Deal with SENATOR-FILM)
Author for SATURDAY NIGHT LIFE (RTL Plus)

1994: Selling GERMAN FRIED MOVIE, BARSCHEL and RUN AMOK
to the USA and Great Britain
Script: I WAS SADDAMS SON

1995: BOXING (Documentary, Betacam), 70 min.
since 1.9.1995 Producer and Director of TaunusFilm GmbH in Wiesbaden

1996: Selling the German TV-Rights of I WAS SADDAMS SON to the ARD-Degeto;
Author and Director of THE FIRST SEMESTER (35mm, 95 min., Dolby SR,
Distributor: United International Pictures, Festival: Cannes 1997);
Producer of THE MYSTERY OF KORMORAN ISLAND (35mm, 85 min.,
Festivals: Gera, Cottbus, Schwerin, Saarbruecken)
Script: SANCTIMONY

1997: Coproducer of the European films MISSING LINK (budget: 5,5 Mio. DM),
L'AMOUR (3,5 Mio. DM) and FAKE (1 Mio. DM)

1998: Producer of FIASCO
1999: Director of a PALL MALL commercial spot
2000: Writer, Director and Producer of SANCTIMONY
2001: Director and Producer of BLACKWOODS
2001: Director and Producer of THE HEART OF AMERICA
2002: Director and Producer of HOUSE OF THE DEAD
2003: Director and Producer of ALONE IN THE DARK

Alright now that that filmography is on here let me just start off by saying how funny he made movies called "RUN AMOK" and "I WAS SADDAMS SON", second of all, why are films such as "Boxing" and "Forrest" on his filmography? Forrest is about 7 minutes long according to his random fact placement. His bio even states "As a child, he produced a number of short films on Super 8 and video"

So most of those "films" are from his damned childhood.

you know...Sam Raimi made short super 8 films, but he never threw them on his filmography. I think the protoype for ED was the closest to counting. Spielberg made little war movies when he was little, never put them on his filmography, I caught a bio on George Lucas, he made some student films, neevr got the urge to slap them on his filmography. Sure I know if a budding director got his first gig he may go "well I have some experiance behind the camera" but Lucas went to school, Spielberg, i'm sure went to filmschool, Raimi I don't know but you just know Evil Dead would make up for it. But to put films from your childhood on your professional filmography?! The only thing dumber to me than that would be if he happened to have filmed a wedding reception and put that on his filmography.

The fact someone gives this guy s stack of cash to make a crappy film is insulting when i know there are good talented people out there who deserve a shot at directing. It's insulting and sad, someone is probably in a cockroache infested dump while somewhere else boll is answering a question with "yeah, whatever"

it's sad the studios don't want an artist, they're just as happy scraping back their measly budget and feading some idiots ego.

Thank god the internet's here to take hacks down a peg.

HotD was so bad that my initial reaction was that Uwe Boll was hired without thought

"You ever actually hold a camera?"
"I held a shoe....that's kinda like a camera"
"Meh, whatever you're hired"

man, one of these days i'm going to get my friend to time me trashing boll and see how long I can go

As much as I myself poke fun at Uwe Boll I really don't comprehend the outright hatred the guy gets from people. I can think of quite a few filmmakers who have committed far worse crimes against cinema than making HOUSE OF THE DEAD.

Boll is a hack and as such hardly unique. There's hundreds of them pumping out direct to video drivel and cable movies all the time. These people are just as bad as Boll. So why has our dear little Uwe become the whipping boy of the internet geek community? The answer to that is fairly simple. He got HOUSE OF THE DEAD released on 1500 screens. The film should have gone direct to video and nobody would have given a shit about. Well, maybe Foy would have reviewed it eventually, but that would've been it. Instead that crap opens in every friggin multiplex across America and even the stupidest filmgoer asks him/herself: "WTF?!? What is this shit doing in theaters???" And they are right. Did DARKWOLF get a wide theatrical run on 2000+ screens? Of course not. HOUSE OF THE DEAD is easily one of the worst, most low quality (in every way) films to get a wide theatrical release in the US ever. People see this discrepancy and are rightfully pissed off. Some may also be jealous. Or just angry that Boll can get his movie out but even great horror films like DAGON, LOVE OBJECT or GINGER SNAPS 1-2 are criminally neglected and go direct to video. And not only did he do it once with HOUSE OF THE DEAD, he's continuing to do it. Most people don't understand that it's all about numbers and business decisions and that Boll obviously knows how to line up investors and future projects. They think once was enough, the guy should disappear and go away forever. Has anyone ever heard of Roger Christiansen post-BATTLEFIELD EARTH? That guy seems to be paying his dues but not Uwe, he keeps on pumping out more and more flicks. It seemingly defies all logic and people get - once again - pissed, jealous, angry.

Paul W.S. Anderson, in the meantime, is enjoying the lack of hate mail and death threats during the last year or so.

Actually, I think that rant a few months back really made Boll a permanently marked man just like when Dean Devlin told Godzilla fans to go to hell for not liking his version. Doing stuff like that especially when you have a highly dubious track record is like hurling rocks at a nest of killer bees.

Something tells me that's going to change in about ooooohhhhhhh 72 hours.

I know there are many worse directors.

It's his excuses that really put me over the top. Also, putting down other directors......it's that he thinks he's better than others.

And yes, writing an open letetr on your website about how no one likes you is just asking for it.

Paul Weak Sauce Anderson needs to pull more than just a bunny out of his ass on Friday. He needs to pull two franchise revivals out

Isn't the point of a trailer to give people a taste of the story? I can already tell you that he edited it without seeing the credits. It reeks of the incoherent editing of HOD

I don't think anyone is expecting either franchise to be revitialized, at least I hope not. The best we can hope for is to be entertained. Damn, I hate that.

It's not a theatrical trailer but a promo reel, something that is used to present your film to distributors. There are different rules for teasers, trailers and promo reels. With a teaser or trailer you want to get the audience interested in finding out what the film is about, how the story will end. With a promo reel you want to present a complete picture of what your film is like, beginning to end. You can also take between 3-5 minutes whereas your average trailer clocks in at a little under 2 minutes. I'm surprised he put that promo up on his website. He must be proud of it, which makes me doubt his sanity even more because this thing sure as hell doesn't work as a promo reel - unless you want your film "distributed" by the Sci-Fi Channel.

AvP won't do well because of the olympics.

Funny: Only the world uniting in togetherness can stop Paul W.S. Anderson

All I have to say is, I hope at some point in the near future, Indie Filmmaking will solidify itself though well recieved films to a point where we can have a sort of renessance of filmmaking like what was seen in the 70's. It would be nice to have a community and industry based on art and not profit. I would like to be a part of that, and I am willing to contribute to that.

the 70's was a once in a lifetime oppurtunity.

YESSSSSSSSS!

Before i sleep I gotta move this here cause I posted it in a topic about bloodrayne, Boll threads are everywhere and i'm pretty sure that Ulysses guy is Uwe Boll.

That "trailer" for AITD might be the biggest piece of garbage I have ever seen. It was so bad I had to watch it twice because I honestly couldn't believe it. I personally don't care who directed it. Shit is shit. If it was fucking Spielberg it would still be shit.

I really think that we have to band together, Rise up and behead Uwe Boll... Or atleast band together and stop him from making movies either way it works.

Beheading's faster.

I don't think we should kill him. At least not until he starts fucking with properties I really feel strongly about like SILENT HILL for example. It's just so much fun to see the guy fail. I get such a kick out of the internet hate and that Uwe actually reads this stuff and gets angry and writes mad rants in response. If only all directors would be like this! I'm also curious how long people will continue to throw money at him before they realize that maybe some random film student could do a much better job and get them bigger returns. I'd like to see Uwe descend into a hell of alcoholism and self-loathing. I want to see his ego wither and die. I want to see get into debt so that he has to direct bestiality flicks for the mob. See, that'd be much more fun and a much better punishment than a quick death by beheading.

I find it only a matter of time before some studio figurehead tells him to get the fuck out of his office.

He is actually the Ed Wood of our time, I really do believe that.

I've gone and done it now....

Well, thanks guys! After seeing how bad everybody thought it was, I got to thinking, NOTHING can really be that bad, I even found something to like in Van Helsing(other than Hugh Jackman of course). Also I remember all the crappy word of mouth and reviews that Queen of the Damned got and dammit, it took me several years to see it but I finally did and loved it. I realize now I should have stuck with my inital response about HOTD, which was upon seeing the trailer for the first time, "That looks like a total piece so crap" and boy was my gut instinct was really right on the mark there.

I think Uwe Boll getting more money for movies is a sign of the apocalypse.
Maybe I'm overreacting but I don't think so.

I need to rent House of the Dead now. I want to get in on all the Uwe Boll hate. Speaking of which, how do you pronounce his name? Is it like You Bowl?

First of all, the proper pronunciation seems to be a bit of a mystery. Hell, I heard his first name pronounced three different ways during the audio commentary tracks on the HOTD dvd. I'm guessing the proper way to say his name is OOVUH BOWL.

As for renting HOTD, how about I just save you some time and money. It's long but still shorter than sitting through HOTD and infinately funnier. If you can read this and still feel compelled not to see the movie then you are ready to enter world of the popular new video game WHACK-A-BOLL.

THE FOYWONDER ENTERS THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD

Darth_Chocula wrote:
Him and Paul Weak Shit Anderson have a lot in common these days.

Paul WS Anderson is also a fun of Uwe Boll. He may catch some flak right now for AvsP but we all know that in a week or two people will have forgotten about that and concentrate on Boll again, thereby allowing Anderson to leave his bunker again and feel save walking down the street.

And while Mr. WS sure does have his (many) weaknesses as a writer/director, he's still so much better than Uwe Boll it's not even funny.

I can't wait to get my cable back, because I need to revisit HotD to remember how horribly hilarious it is. I refuse to give the movie any money, 99 cent rental or otherwise. So, cable's the way to go.

PS Thanx, Darth Chocula. I now have a new favorite saying. Weak Sauce. He. Hee Hee. Hee.

That was a really great review, thanks for the laugh. I'm going to be renting it for sure now just to experience this 'masterpiece.'

The proper Pronunciation is UvvE Boll atleast I think.

I don't love paul anderson but I think the guy has atleast alittle credibility left atleast he isn't yelling at us on a website like boll did during the HoTD bashing time.

So, like, anyone remember back when The Cell came out and Tarsem was the worst director ever? Whatever happened to that guy?