Well, you did a better job with it than I did. I think pretty much all of the Adult Swim humor just doesn't translate well to print. The comedy is all about inflection and timing, which goes against 99% of modern sitcom standards (Set-up, punchline, reaction. Set-up, punchline, reaction.) The Adult Swim humor is definitely smarter and artsier, but the problems come when they're content to fall back on just being smart and surreal rather than actively trying to make the episodes funny. There are plenty of smart, fucking INSANE episodes on this set that just really aren't that funny. Worth watching, but tough to critique.
But like I said, you did a good job.