The Bi-Monthly FUTURAMA Quoting Thread - Page 2

"Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?"
"Why those are the Grunka Lunkas. They work here in the Slurm factory."
"Tell them I hate them!"

I cant belive no one has used:

"I suppose i should help them....but i am already in my pyjamas"

"yes..yes...we can all talk aboult Leela's personal life later"

"In fact reduced pay for everyone!"

Bender: "Oh no! I forgot this is a hover bridge."
Leela: "And I forgot this isn't a hover car."
Fry: "Is any of that a problem?"
Zoidberg: "Not if you've lived a life without regret!"
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Farnsworth: "I expect you'll want to see my angry, crotchety grandpa discount card."
Wanda: "Sir, this card is expired."
Farnsworth: "But it's good for a lifetime!"
Wanda: "Well, yours expired."
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Farnsworth: "Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it. Making people wait behind me while I complain."
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Leela's Dad: "Look at me! Proud dad of a super hero! We should print up T-shirts. And F-shirts for our friends with two arms on the same side."
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Bender: "Have you ever tried turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?"
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Bender: "Blackmail's such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool."
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Zapp Branigan: "She's a beautiful ship - I'm gonna fly her brains out."
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Bender: "Who will make Bender Waffles just the way he likes them now?"

Leela: And Fry has that thing where his brain doesn't work.
Fry: I ALREADY DID!

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And the best non-sequitor EVER:

Fry: No, I'm...doesn't.

Brilliant.

Leela: "Fry, why are you looking for Flexo in my underpants drawer?"
Fry: "Well, he wasn't here five minutes ago so I'd thought I'd check again."

Professor: "Ohhhh!! If anyone needs me, I'll be in the ANGRY dome!"

Toddler Fry: "You smell like smokey... and drinky!"
College-Age Professor: "I had a few beers but I'm cool to drive."

*Zapp Brannigan throws empty Slurm can on the ground*
*native Martian picks it up and crys*
Leela: "Look. They have such respect for the land."
Crying Martian: "Cynthia used to drink Slurm."

Hey all...

Love the thread! I'm going out to buy my first Futurama season today, and I wanted some advice on which is the best so far. Its my experience that the first season usually isn't as good. Is the second funnier/better?

Third and fourth are best, IMO, Season 1 is cheapest and its still funny.

**********

Robot Convict: "When you see the Robot Devil, tell him I'm comin'!"
*Bender walks past to the adjacent cell, which contains the Robot Devil*
Bender: "Hey, he told me to tell..."
Robot Devil: "I HEARD him."

Nibbler: Fry, you are the most important person in the world, indeed the universe!

Fry: Oh snap!

Fry: "People said I was dumb, but I proved them."
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Fry: "Its just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?"
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Bender: "Boy, who knew a cooler could also make a handy wang coffin?"
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Leela: "Look Fry, you're a man and I'm a woman. We're just too different."
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Zapp: "If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."

Amazon: "You want die like last men visit Amazonia?"
Fry: "What'd they die of?"
Amazon: "Crushed pelvises."
Fry: *long pause* "Yes!"
Brannigan: "Oh thank you Lord in heaven!"

Farnsworth: Fry, you have a dime in your nose.
Fry: Pfff. I wish. It's a nickel.

Firing up season three.

Thanks for the advice, Werbal.

Fry : "Is postage stamp glue really made of..."
Brainputer: "CORRECT! TOAD MUCOUS!"
Fry : "What killed the dinosaurs?"
Brainputer: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Man: "Get your piping hot horse burgers horse fries, horse cakes and shakes. We got tongue, straight from the horse's mouth."
Leela: "Hmm."
Hermes: "It all sounds good."
Man: "All our horses are 100% horse-fed for that double-horse "juiced-in" goodness."
Leela: "I'll have the cholesterol-free omelet with horse-beaters."
Man: "And you, Sir? How can I horse you?"
Hermes: "I'll have a horse Coke."
Man: "Horse Pepsi okay?"
Hermes: "Nay."

Leela: Try shocking him.
Bender: Your social security check's bounced! Stuff cost more than it used to! Young people use curse words!

Pop a Poppler in your mouth when you come to Fishy Joe's. What they're made of is a mystery, where they come from no-one knows. You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em, you can chew 'em, you can stick 'em, if you promise not to sue us you can shove one up your nose.

"It was a regulation prom date that ended in regulation disappointment."

Leela : "Aren't we forbidden from entering the Forbidden Zone, Professor?"
Professor Farnsworth : "Oh heavens no, it's just a name. Like the Death Zone, or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror."

Yancy: I want to be named Philip. Me Philip! Me Philip!

Mr. Fry: Son, your name is Yancy just like me and my grandfather, and so on... all the way back to Minute Man Yancy Fry who blasted Commies in the American Revolution.

[Yancy gives a military salute]

Fry : (Upon logging on to the internet) "My God. It's full of ads."

Every line out of that alien newscaster's mouth (Morgo? Morbo?) is spun gold.

..

"WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!"

BENDER (alseep): "Hey foxy momma....want to kill all humans?"

FRY: Hey a pile of Bart Simpson Dolls pulls the cord in the back
BART DOLL: Eat my Shorts
BENDER: Ok.....mmmmm...Shorts

ZOIDBERG: Now Zoidberg is the popular one!

"I've never seen that guy so down. Or ever before."

Zoidberg A: "All hail Zoidberg! The King with the box!... Now it's my turn maybe?"
Zoidberg B: "The box... says no."

Fry: "Hey, did you guys see a blue lobster run through here?"
Eyeless Hermes: "We didn't see anything.... EVER."

Leela B: "One later later, Fry proposed to me and gave me this diamond scrunchie."
Fry A: "One year later, I got beat up at a Neil Diamond concert bt a guy NAMED Scrunchie."

Wurnstrom: "But he just said 'Wooooo!'"
Professor: "No, that was just air escaping from the folds in his fat."
*presses folds*
"Woooooo!!"

Beck : "MINION! Lift My arm!"

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Professor : "This sounds very dangerous. Someone could get killed. Fry, Bender, Leela, I want you to go with him."
Bender : "DAMN YOU, OLD MAN!"

Leela: "What happens if we lose?"
Robot Devil: "Then Bender's soul is mine forever. And I suppose I'll kill one of you... ohhhhh, HIM."
Fry: *gasp*
Leela: "We'll do it!"
Fry: *louder gasp*

*wheel spins and lands on Robot Devil*
Robot Devil: "Ohhhh, how ironic!"
Bender: "It's not ironic! It's just coincidental!"
Robot Devil: "You know, I only put my name on there as a sign of good faith to the other robots."

Fry: "Hey look! He's eating and swimming! He can do two things at once! Oh, three things!"


And, of course, the funniest line in the history of television...

"YOUR MUSIC'S BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD!"

Zapp : "She's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro!"

And the greatest line ever uttered by Bea Arthur.

Femputer : "Do you know what it's like to be a Fembot in a Manputer's Manbot's world?"

"Aha! Once again the conservative sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!"
*eats sandwich*
"Oh.. I'm ruined! Wuahahahaaha why ... why...."

Fry: Can I ask you a question?
Leela: As long as its not about my eye.
Fry: Errrrmmm...
Leela: Is it about my eye?
Fry: Sort of.
Leela: *sighs* Just ask the question.
Fry: Whats with the eye?


Fry: Pssst! Leela, you gotta get me out of here; it's horrible! Eating scraps, letting my waste drop wherever it falls like an animal in the zoo.
Leela: Animals go in the corner.
Fry: The corner!?! Why didn't I think of that!?!


Hippie: You can't own property, man!
Prof. Farnsworth: I can, because I'm not a poor hippie!

Don-Bot : "We're the Robot Mafia. The ENTIRE Robot Mafia."

Fry: "I will help ye."
Hermes: "Robots don't say 'ye.'"

Planet Express Ship: "Ohhh, if only I'd had learned to read lips."

Leela: "All I ever wanted was a parent to love me, and hold me, and stroke my hair."
Fry: "Well, you're in luck, cuz I happen to be a lovin', holdin', strokin' machine. Also spankin'."

Fry: "What's wrong Leela? Is it the room that's upsetting you? It's probably the room. Come on, let's go."

Santa: "Laugh now, but we'll see who gets the last ho."

Bender : "Citizens of ME! The cruelty of the old Pharoah is a thing of the past!" (Crowd cheers) "Let a whole NEW wave of cruelty wash over this lazy land!"

Bender : "Mirrors reflecting mirrors! High tech sorcery!" (Bender smashes the periscope.)
Water-Wheel Robot : "Did you see anything?"
Bender : "Yeah, we're there. PREPARE TO SURFACE!"

Brain Leader : "Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Fry : "Ow, my sperm!"
Bender : "Ooh, let me try that again." (Bender shines the Z-Ray on Fry's crotch again)
Fry : "Huh, it didn't hurt that time."

Zapp Brannigan : "Allright then, Kiff.. prepare to take the blame... steady.. steady.. steady.. NOW!"

Robot Devil : "Give me my hands back! These keep.. touching me.. in places!"
Fry : "Yeah, they do get around."

"Your mistletoe is no match for my TOW missle!"

____

FRY: Hey, this place is just like the ancient Egypt of my day!
OSIRIAN: That is no coincidence, for our people visited your planet thousands of years ago.
FRY: I knew it! Crazy theories one, regular theories a billion!
OSIRIAN: From them we learned much, such as the construction of pyramids and how to prepare our dead to terrify Abbot and Costello.
FRY: Ha ha ha! Also, the Wolfman.

MARTIAN CHIEF: Fech. I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians.
ZAPP: Take me to your leader!
(Awkward silence)

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LEELA: I've never felt so unremarkable! Today I actually blended in with a crowd! Ha ha!

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LEELA: Bender, you should take care of the planet!
BENDER: Why? It's not like it's the only one we've got.

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FNOG: You were an excellent student! Too bad I WAS A LOUSY TEACHER!!

"I'm proud to be the shepherd of this flock of sharks..."

Nixon: "Morbo, how are the kids?"

Morbo: "Belligerent and numerous."

Nixon: Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.

Damn, beat me to it, Prankster.


"I'm Robo Santa!"
"No, I'm Robo Santa!"
"No, I'm Robo Santa!"
"No, I'm Robo Santa!"
"And I'm his friend Jesus!"

Ford:Im sorry mam my friend has a thing for meaty women

80's Guy: My only regret...is..I have...boneitous.

Medic: This man is over gasped!

The rock montage after that is so damn rediculously funny.

Mayor: "Save me Jesus!"
Zoidberg: "I help those who help themselves!"

effing classic.

Hyperchicken Lawyer : "Your honor, I move that I be debarred for introducing this evidence against my own client."

Hyperchicken Lawyer : "Now there ain't nothin' to be scared of." *Squawks and moves to attack little girl on witness stand* "I'm sorry, I thought you was corn."

"Bachelor Chow - Now with flavor".

Robo-villager: "Mumbo... perhaps! Jumbo... perhaps NOT!"

Calculon: "The wheel from Hitlers staff car! The left turn-signal of Charles Manson's VW bus! The windshield wipers from the car that played Kitt from Knight Rider!"
Fry: "Knight Rider wasn't evil!"
Calculon: "His windshield wipers were. It didn't come up in the show very much..."

Zoidberg: "Look at me! I'm ZOIDBERG, the homeowner!"