Bill the Butcher just sent in his review for TAXI
Taxi (2004) -PG-13-
Directed by: Tim Story
Written by: Luc Besson, Robert Ben Garant, Thomas Lennon, Jim Kouf
Adapted from: French films Taxi, Taxi 2, Taxi 3, all written by Luc Besson
Starring: Queen Latifah, Jimmy Fallon, Jennifer Esposito, Ann-Margret, Christian Kane, Gisele Bündchen
Worst Comedy Starring a SNL’er Since Corky Romano
By Bill the Butcher
Saturday Night Live continues to get worse, year by year. Since Will Ferrell left, there is no one left who can actually act, or who has any sense of comedy. The cast now, in between lines, looks over to read the cue cards—you can see their eyes move from the scene they’re supposed to be acting in, to look over to read the cue cards for their next line.
I think the cast needs to learn that not everyone is Will Ferrell, or Chevy Chase, or even Adam Sandler. While the latter two have gone off to big careers after SNL, both starring in some decent films—Chase in classics like Caddyshack, Vacaction, Fletch, etc., and Sandler, who showed he could actually act in Punch Drunk Love—Ferrell may not have had a huge acting break yet, that combines his dramatic and comedic talents, but his comedies Elf and Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy are hilarious. While the plot of both is kind of dumb and a bit ridiculous, they work because of Ferrell’s talent as a comedian.
Jimmy Fallon, who used to do only the news on SNL, but now, unfortunately, does skits as well, has no talent as a comedian. Sure, he’s not bad on the news, not as good as his sidekick Tina Fey—who’s Mean Girls screenplay this year was an above average teeny bopper flick. But the man cannot act. I actually saw him once in a Blockbuster Video about 3 years ago, drunk off his ass; it must really suck to work at SNL, knowing you suck and the show sucks. Fallon surely proves with Taxi, a horrible concept from the beginning, that he surely cannot carry a film as a lead actor.
Taxi opens with a shot of New York City and Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” playing as a helmeted biker unbelievably rides a messenger bike through the streets and “subway cars” of the city. When the biker reaches the destination and is unmasked, we find out the biker is non-other than Queen Latifah. Right from the beginning, we know logic isn’t going to be a pertinent factor in this film, as the biker we saw riding through the streets was ten times thinner than Latifah.
Belle (Latifah) was the #1 biker and is now moving on to driving a taxi. When she gets her taxi, she supes it up to race car status. Belle’s first customer needs to get from the city to JFK airport in 15 minutes, so we get to see Belle and her suped up taxi in action.
While she drives this white guy—she normally doesn’t pick up white guys to try and balance out the universe—to JFK, you can really tell the taxi is up against a blue screen. She of course gets him there in time, in an unfunny sequence as she drives about 100 miles/hr and he flips and flops around the taxi.
Next we cut to Jimmy Fallon’s Washburn character, as he’s about to perform an undercover sting with his partner. They’re trying to bust some Cuban mafia like guys, for selling illegal phone cards. During this scene, Fallon does an awful Scarface impression, which is about the limit of his acting ability. When the Cubans find out their cops, Washburn’s partner gets shot and the bad guys scram.
Washburn jumps in his car trying to follow them, but throws it in reverse, instead of drive, thus crashing into a store. This of course is supposed to be funny, has never happened before in a film, and is completely plausible—accidentally hitting reverse instead of drive. Washburn’s bad driving continues throughout the film as an unfunny gag, just like most of the jokes in Taxi.
The plot from there just gets even more lame, as Washburn hears of a bank being robbed, and just happens to get into Belle’s taxi, after his boss takes his driver’s license away. From there, it’s like an insanely bad, bizarro world comedic version of Collateral—instead of a stone cold hit-man, it’s a dumb cop who gets in the cab.
Basically Washburn and Belle team up to take down a four women bank robbers, who happen to look like models. Taxi makes Set It Off look like Michael Mann’s Heat or Kubrick’s The Killing. Suffice to say, the plot is trash, the acting is bad, and the jokes are not funny.
Taxi is typical Hollywood garbage, adapted from a French film which spawned two sequels, all written by Luc Besson. Maybe the comedy played better as a French film, but the American version is just another failed remake with semi-big stars trying to make money. This has got to be the worst film starring a SNL’er since Corky Romano, the Chris Kattan debacle.
Remake proof:
“Queen Latifah, one of Hollywood's hottest rising stars following her Oscar nominated turn in Chicago, is in talks to star in Taxi, a remake of the 1998 French adventure-comedy.” http://film.guardian.co.uk/print/0%2...3156%2C00.html
“Queen Latifah is getting behind the wheel for the American remake of Luc Besson's TAXI.”
http://www.cinescape.com/0/editorial...8&obj_id=38891
Recommended Alternatives: Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Elf, Punch-Drunk Love, Mean Girls
-------------------------------------------
Bill the Butcher is Published at
Fidelio’s Film Central:
http://www.geocities.com/fidelio1st/film.htm
LATEST REVIEWS
Shark Tale [C+]
Taxi [D-]
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow [A-]
The Terminal [D]
Shopgirl [B+]
ARTICLE on Carlito's Way Prequelitis (Yes that's right, a prequel is in the works)
Taxi (2004) -PG-13-
Directed by: Tim Story
Written by: Luc Besson, Robert Ben Garant, Thomas Lennon, Jim Kouf
Adapted from: French films Taxi, Taxi 2, Taxi 3, all written by Luc Besson
Starring: Queen Latifah, Jimmy Fallon, Jennifer Esposito, Ann-Margret, Christian Kane, Gisele Bündchen
Worst Comedy Starring a SNL’er Since Corky Romano
By Bill the Butcher
Saturday Night Live continues to get worse, year by year. Since Will Ferrell left, there is no one left who can actually act, or who has any sense of comedy. The cast now, in between lines, looks over to read the cue cards—you can see their eyes move from the scene they’re supposed to be acting in, to look over to read the cue cards for their next line.
I think the cast needs to learn that not everyone is Will Ferrell, or Chevy Chase, or even Adam Sandler. While the latter two have gone off to big careers after SNL, both starring in some decent films—Chase in classics like Caddyshack, Vacaction, Fletch, etc., and Sandler, who showed he could actually act in Punch Drunk Love—Ferrell may not have had a huge acting break yet, that combines his dramatic and comedic talents, but his comedies Elf and Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy are hilarious. While the plot of both is kind of dumb and a bit ridiculous, they work because of Ferrell’s talent as a comedian.
Jimmy Fallon, who used to do only the news on SNL, but now, unfortunately, does skits as well, has no talent as a comedian. Sure, he’s not bad on the news, not as good as his sidekick Tina Fey—who’s Mean Girls screenplay this year was an above average teeny bopper flick. But the man cannot act. I actually saw him once in a Blockbuster Video about 3 years ago, drunk off his ass; it must really suck to work at SNL, knowing you suck and the show sucks. Fallon surely proves with Taxi, a horrible concept from the beginning, that he surely cannot carry a film as a lead actor.
Taxi opens with a shot of New York City and Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” playing as a helmeted biker unbelievably rides a messenger bike through the streets and “subway cars” of the city. When the biker reaches the destination and is unmasked, we find out the biker is non-other than Queen Latifah. Right from the beginning, we know logic isn’t going to be a pertinent factor in this film, as the biker we saw riding through the streets was ten times thinner than Latifah.
Belle (Latifah) was the #1 biker and is now moving on to driving a taxi. When she gets her taxi, she supes it up to race car status. Belle’s first customer needs to get from the city to JFK airport in 15 minutes, so we get to see Belle and her suped up taxi in action.
While she drives this white guy—she normally doesn’t pick up white guys to try and balance out the universe—to JFK, you can really tell the taxi is up against a blue screen. She of course gets him there in time, in an unfunny sequence as she drives about 100 miles/hr and he flips and flops around the taxi.
Next we cut to Jimmy Fallon’s Washburn character, as he’s about to perform an undercover sting with his partner. They’re trying to bust some Cuban mafia like guys, for selling illegal phone cards. During this scene, Fallon does an awful Scarface impression, which is about the limit of his acting ability. When the Cubans find out their cops, Washburn’s partner gets shot and the bad guys scram.
Washburn jumps in his car trying to follow them, but throws it in reverse, instead of drive, thus crashing into a store. This of course is supposed to be funny, has never happened before in a film, and is completely plausible—accidentally hitting reverse instead of drive. Washburn’s bad driving continues throughout the film as an unfunny gag, just like most of the jokes in Taxi.
The plot from there just gets even more lame, as Washburn hears of a bank being robbed, and just happens to get into Belle’s taxi, after his boss takes his driver’s license away. From there, it’s like an insanely bad, bizarro world comedic version of Collateral—instead of a stone cold hit-man, it’s a dumb cop who gets in the cab.
Basically Washburn and Belle team up to take down a four women bank robbers, who happen to look like models. Taxi makes Set It Off look like Michael Mann’s Heat or Kubrick’s The Killing. Suffice to say, the plot is trash, the acting is bad, and the jokes are not funny.
Taxi is typical Hollywood garbage, adapted from a French film which spawned two sequels, all written by Luc Besson. Maybe the comedy played better as a French film, but the American version is just another failed remake with semi-big stars trying to make money. This has got to be the worst film starring a SNL’er since Corky Romano, the Chris Kattan debacle.
Remake proof:
“Queen Latifah, one of Hollywood's hottest rising stars following her Oscar nominated turn in Chicago, is in talks to star in Taxi, a remake of the 1998 French adventure-comedy.” http://film.guardian.co.uk/print/0%2...3156%2C00.html
“Queen Latifah is getting behind the wheel for the American remake of Luc Besson's TAXI.”
http://www.cinescape.com/0/editorial...8&obj_id=38891
Recommended Alternatives: Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Elf, Punch-Drunk Love, Mean Girls
-------------------------------------------
Bill the Butcher is Published at
Fidelio’s Film Central:
http://www.geocities.com/fidelio1st/film.htm
LATEST REVIEWS
Shark Tale [C+]
Taxi [D-]
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow [A-]
The Terminal [D]
Shopgirl [B+]
ARTICLE on Carlito's Way Prequelitis (Yes that's right, a prequel is in the works)
