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Alone in the Dark review Does it suck? YES

post #1 of 15
10/5/04 at 9:12am
Thread Starter 
http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/display.cgi?id=18564
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post #2 of 15
10/5/04 at 2:26pm
No surprise there.
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post #3 of 15
10/5/04 at 3:28pm
"This is quite possibly the worst film I've seen period and I used to work for Troma."

Awesome. Simply awesome.

My only question is: Will this be an even more funny example of flaming shit than HoD?
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post #4 of 15
10/5/04 at 4:07pm
Well well well... you mean Uwe won't be up for an oscar this time around?
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post #5 of 15
10/5/04 at 4:10pm
They should give him one. It'd be funny.
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post #6 of 15
10/5/04 at 6:32pm
Am I the only one who mostly just sees humour in the Uwe Boll fiasco? HoD was really just a pathetic and yet incredibly funny trainwreck, it was so bad it was almost...good. Half the fun of the movie for me was pointing out the bad acting, continuity error after continuity error, crappy special effects, cheesy attempts at humour, unexplainably stupid plot points, etc. It was just as fun as sitting down with some really low budget horror flicks from the sixties and tearing them apart. I'm looking forward to doing this with the next piece of crap Uwe dishes out too.
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post #7 of 15
10/5/04 at 10:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl is the Universe
Am I the only one who mostly just sees humour in the Uwe Boll fiasco? HoD was really just a pathetic and yet incredibly funny trainwreck, it was so bad it was almost...good. Half the fun of the movie for me was pointing out the bad acting, continuity error after continuity error, crappy special effects, cheesy attempts at humour, unexplainably stupid plot points, etc. It was just as fun as sitting down with some really low budget horror flicks from the sixties and tearing them apart. I'm looking forward to doing this with the next piece of crap Uwe dishes out too.
I'm with you. Ya know what? It IS shlock and I have to say, when watching HOD I was entertained, yes for the wrong reasons, but none the less I was entertained. I felt the same watching HOD as I do watching Plan 9. It's just fun crap. What is a little heartbreaking is that Uwe takes it so seriously, and despite what people say.... he is trying his best. He's doing what he loves and he's having fun doing it. I don't think he's an idiot, I don't think he's a bad person. I think he's a filmmaker who is trying his best with what he has and what he thinks people will want to see. I don't pity him.
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post #8 of 15
10/6/04 at 2:34am
Thread Starter 
As bad as Plan 9 was, there is a difference. Ed Wood had a passion and a warped vision to his movies. Always scrounging for money, talent and got his films released,

Dr. Uwe is the worst kind of film maker. Has lots of money and stills time from peoples lives watching his movies
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post #9 of 15
10/6/04 at 3:23am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Masoumi
I'm with you. Ya know what? It IS shlock and I have to say, when watching HOD I was entertained, yes for the wrong reasons, but none the less I was entertained. I felt the same watching HOD as I do watching Plan 9. It's just fun crap. What is a little heartbreaking is that Uwe takes it so seriously, and despite what people say.... he is trying his best. He's doing what he loves and he's having fun doing it. I don't think he's an idiot, I don't think he's a bad person. I think he's a filmmaker who is trying his best with what he has and what he thinks people will want to see. I don't pity him.
Have you ever watched it with the commentary? It's pure comedic gold.

"And now here is the hooomage to Gone With the Wind..."

"You like my movie? You like being in my movie? Then you stay for ze fucking explosion!"
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post #10 of 15
10/6/04 at 11:47am
Well, Uwe got pretty big balls to put 360 degrees bullet-time action scenes in a zombie movie. And those video game caption scenes were just horrible, you got to have steel balls to be confident that this will be "really cool" for the horror fans.

Not to mention Cpt Kirk and all the rest!

Huge balls!

Terrible movie.

But Huge balls.
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post #11 of 15
10/6/04 at 12:33pm
I'm all for reviews and everything but if anyone needs advanced review to tell them that Alone in the Dark is going to suck you probably need to have your head examined and your balls rotated.
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post #12 of 15
10/6/04 at 8:42pm
The other day, I spent half an hour explaining the Uwe Boll phenomenon to my brother. My brother got me into horror movies when I was a kid, but he doesn't have the internet, so he's kind of in the dark these days.

After this conversation, I decided I would rent House of the Dead so he could share the cinematic genius of 'the master'. After checking out a few rental stores the horrible truth dawned on me - House of the Dead has not had a dvd release in the UK.

There's something kind of sad about a movie that hasn't even managed a straight to video release. Too crap for the UK- surely not!

To add injury to insult we ended up sitting through the utter shit that is Irreversible instead. Damn you, Dr Boll and your unreleasable films!
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post #13 of 15
10/6/04 at 11:27pm
I LOVE Uwe. The King. Saw HOTD opening night after seeing Kill Bill Vol. 1 and it was the perfect double feature. One of the most thrillingly, awe-inspiringly great theater experiences of the year, followed by the worst movie I've ever seen. You just sit there, watching, knowing he thought scene x would be sexy (random topless women - hahahahaha), or scary, or funny (the few things that were intended to be), or thrilling (FUCKING SWORD FIGHT), or a great lead in to a sequel. God the whole thing is cinematic imperfection at its best. Thats why I cant cant cant wait for Alone in the Dark. It's also behind my obsession with From Justin to Kelly.
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post #14 of 15
10/7/04 at 4:01pm
I will finally endure the Uwe Boll experience this weekend with HOUSE OF THE DEAD. I'm fairly eager, and surprised at myself.
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post #15 of 15
10/9/04 at 7:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdie
I decided I would rent House of the Dead so he could share the cinematic genius of 'the master'. After checking out a few rental stores the horrible truth dawned on me - House of the Dead has not had a dvd release in the UK.

There's something kind of sad about a movie that hasn't even managed a straight to video release. Too crap for the UK- surely not!
That's very true. Whenever I'd read about 'so-and-so' film coming out, I'd be all excited to finally see it when it reached our shores, but nope, we don't get half the films the lucky Americans do. ARGHH I was gonna be a lot more organised in my opinion but clouds of rage are building up.
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