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Germany Mysteries Revealed

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
Okay Chewers,
as I'm very often confronted with dozens of questions about germans and germany in general, I thought I'd make a little Germany FAQ to kill some of the nastiest predjudices and wrong rumours around. Just ask me sth and I'll tell what's right and wrong about the country on the other side of the world.

Let's begin with these three favourites >

1) David Hasselhoff is a big star in Germany, right?

2) A next city is always in 30 miles range, you can throw a stone and always hit a city.

3) Those funny leather jackets and wood shoes, you wearing them all the time?

1- WRONG. He was a big star in the early nineties, with the high tide of Knight Rider, the fresh Baywatch and his two infamous hit singles Lookin' for Freedom and Do the Limbo Dance (which really were catchy at that time). BUT... although he released more and more songs in the following years, only die hard fans bought his albums and he only appeared on famous german tv show Wetten Dass... because he's a big friend of talkmaster Thomas Gottschalk. No more hit movies or songs, Knight Rider left and Baywatch turned into an usual thing on tv, no highlight but always running there. As fast as his star rose it also vanished again. You could compare his current fame status with Bobby Brown. Not that good.

2- RIGHT. You wouldn't believe the distances between german cities. While most of you must drive dozens of hours to get to the next city, we can walk or just use the bike to get to the nearest next city. We have myriads of small cities and a handful of big ones (which still are small compared to yours).

3- WRONG. There's a little area in southern german called Bavaria where old people tend to wear that stuff, elseway you'll only find it on Oktoberfests or other fun locations (for the tourists). The other germans throughout germany just look like the usual american.
post #2 of 8
4) Given half a chance you'll try to conquer the whole world a third time.
post #3 of 8
5) You have a ledge in your toilet for the poo to land on so you can inspect it.
post #4 of 8
My favorite part about Germany is that there is an actual, genuine CASTLE like every three fucking miles. And you can go climb on them and stuff. At least, that's how it was in '93 when I was last there. Nice pastries, too. I missed such creature comforts as ice and insect screens, though.
post #5 of 8
6. You are all sex fiends and your men are well hung.
post #6 of 8
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf
4) Given half a chance you'll try to conquer the whole world a third time.
I'm curious. What do you americans think of the german government/politics. Is it that don't trust them? Do you think that the chancellor is only a substitue for a "fuhrer" ? That the NS powers from sixty years ago are still active and working, having influence in the country's political state? Do you think that there's still some danger in germany? That a second german Hitler (who, by the way, was actually austrian, not german) could seriously open a WW3?

If there's interest in a larger discussion, we should head that to the politics forum.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trinity'sGusset
5) You have a ledge in your toilet for the poo to land on so you can inspect it.
Yeah, but that's not the use. It's made to protect us from Octalus' creatures. And Treat Williams.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl is the Universe
6. You are all sex fiends and your men are well hung.
Fiends? No, but well hung? Yes.
post #7 of 8
Joking:

1. You all drive Volkswagens and BMWs.
2. You all listen to Techno.
3. You all insist on yelling at the end of your sentences when speaking english.
4. You carry around pet monkies making tourists touch them.
5. You all watch Sprokets religiously and wear nothing but black turtlenecks.
post #8 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Myers, TMR
The other germans throughout germany just look like the usual american.

Yeah if usual americans have swastikas tatooed on there forehead!
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