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Happy Birthday, Slater!

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
If this is truly your birthday, you deserve all the good wishes we can pull out of our asses.
post #2 of 17
Supposedly he's on his honeymoon, but I noticed he was on Xbox Live yesterday playing Star Wars: Battlefront.

Hmmmm...
post #3 of 17
One has to have priorities, Jacob.
post #4 of 17
Just got back from the honeymoon, actually. (Apologies to anybody who tried to play Xbox Live with me and found my manic, even-more-foul-mouthed kid brother instead.)

For anybody who cares, the wedding and honeymoon were both pretty awesome. For the wedding, at least, I accomplished my one and only goal of forcing 150 drunk and very, very confused guests to slow dance to the Wedding Song from "Muppets Take Manhattan," which was just the funniest goddamn thing I've ever seen. Sadly, my appeal for the Ewok "Yub Nub" song to play while we were walking out of the church was vetoed, but recent studies suggest that that would have also been fucking hilarious.

Mexico was muy bien. Played with giant sea turtles and chased sharks on the reefs of Cozumel, dove a vertical cliff almost 100 feet below the surface of the ocean, climbed a 200 foot Mayan pyramid and then cowardly scootched my way back down flat on my tightly clenched ass, played with a troupe of spider monkeys, got bit by a spider monkey when the little cocksucker tried to steal our digital camera, drank a ton of free alcohol, and just generally had the best week of my life.

And now I'm back in Kansas, where it's fifty degrees and raining, and that kind of sucks. And it's my birthday, and that kind of sucks too. And CHUD's got a new main page and Rodney Dangerfield is dead. And it's a weird birthday, kind of.

But anyway...what else have I missed?
post #5 of 17
Not another damn birthday thread

Happy B-day Slater!

And congrats again for the wedding, I’m happy to hear that everything went well!
post #6 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by HellSpawn
Not another damn birthday thread

Happy B-day Slater!

And congrats again for the wedding, I’m happy to hear that everything went well!
hey, I didn't get one...so ...yeah
post #7 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater
But anyway...what else have I missed?
Devin found Jesus and is now a born-again Republican living in West Virginia.

Micah is beginning his hormone therapy for his upcoming sex-change operation.

Carl Cunningham made a concrete decision to vote for Kerry in the upcoming election.

Nick revealed that Jan de Bont is actually his stepfather.

I scored thirty-seven neck breaks in a CHUD Splinter Cell playoff.

Dan Whitehead made a bunch of boring, humorless posts.

Other than that, not much really.
post #8 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer
Devin found Jesus and is now a born-again Republican living in West Virginia.

Micah is beginning his hormone therapy for his upcoming sex-change operation.

Carl Cunningham made a concrete decision to vote for Kerry in the upcoming election.

Nick revealed that Jan de Bont is actually his stepfather.

I scored thirty-seven neck breaks in a CHUD Splinter Cell playoff.

Dan Whitehead made a bunch of boring, humorless posts.

Other than that, not much really.
And everybody still hates me...so you're good to go.
post #9 of 17
Welcome back, sexwaste.
post #10 of 17
Fireflyfan took over ChudStories.
post #11 of 17
Countess Anna admitted Van Helsing sucks.
post #12 of 17
The color pink is the new black.

Edit: Also, Mt. St. Helens farted several times.
post #13 of 17
Aw, man...this ass-hole is back?
post #14 of 17
Y'know what's killing this board? Birthday posts!



Most happy salutations on your birthday, Slate! And man, what's in the water around here that everyone's getting married? I mean, damn!
post #15 of 17
Good to hear Mexico was a blast, Slater.

Happy Birthday.
post #16 of 17
Fucking three-thirty and not thinking straight. Happy birthday, big man. Glad to hear the honeymoon went well--I wish I marry someone cool enough to let me play the Launch theme from Armageddon.
post #17 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChainsawXxX
Y'know what's killing this board? Birthday posts!



Most happy salutations on your birthday, Slate! And man, what's in the water around here that everyone's getting married? I mean, damn!
Next thing you know Slater will be bitching about engagement posts.
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