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The Bi-Annual 'Hello Fellow Limeys' Thread

post #1 of 44
11/24/04 at 5:47pm
Thread Starter 
So... how are you all?
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post #2 of 44
11/24/04 at 5:53pm
Keeping it real in the northwest boundaries of Yorkshire. Praying that Boris Johnson is suddenly drafted as the new head of the Liberal Democrats.
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post #3 of 44
11/25/04 at 6:07am
Hello,

I'm doing alright. Trying to get a career sorted out in London with limited success, but on the upside I get to live with my girlfriend after 3 years long distance. That and I get to go to the odd film festival, which you don't get in Durham.
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post #4 of 44
11/25/04 at 6:33am
Me? playing a bunch of gigs around North London, thoroughly addicted to San Andreas and about to spend the weekend in Cork.
Great sig Charles, by the way.
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post #5 of 44
11/25/04 at 1:25pm
Quick question - Does one have to be English to be a limey? Or does living in Engerland suffice? I'm just a dodgy foreigner, but I am actively working towards my passport.
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post #6 of 44
11/25/04 at 1:56pm
Well, 'Limey' apparantly comes from the lime juice English sailors used to ward off scurvy, and has developed into referring to the pallid, slightly unhealthy complexion Brits often sport.

Are you one step away from scurvy? Has the cloud cover and constant drizzling rain leached out whatever rosiness was originally in your skin? if so: welcome Limey!
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post #7 of 44
11/25/04 at 2:39pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trinity'sGusset
Great sig Charles, by the way.
Just a reference to a poster who said the actual comment. But thanks!

It's really cold here today. I spent a couple of days in Dorset with the wife, and it was lovely, even though everywhere was closed. Still, took the obligatory romantic beach walks and bought some fudge.
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post #8 of 44
11/26/04 at 6:10am
I'm well on my way to losing the olive skin I arrived here with and I was going to complain about the weather/temperature etc - but I went to Cardiff last weekend and London suddenly became a tropical oasis in comparison!

But I love the natural defense mechanisms you true limeys have in place to beat the winter blues - namely alcohol and pasties/kebabs/chicken cottage.
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post #9 of 44
11/26/04 at 7:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chun006
But I love the natural defense mechanisms you true limeys have in place to beat the winter blues - namely alcohol and pasties/kebabs/chicken cottage.
don't forget tea, very important. Chips too.
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post #10 of 44
11/26/04 at 8:43am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chun006
But I love the natural defense mechanisms you true limeys have in place to beat the winter blues - namely alcohol and pasties/kebabs/chicken cottage.
There seemed to be this iron law for me in the UK that whenever I walked home pissed in winter eating a kebab it was always, always raining. Anybody else experienced this? That instant when your life's focus just becomes a race to eat the chips before they get too wet and cold and miserable or end up on the sidewalk or on your clothes - and even if it's not raining when you order your meal, as soon as you step out it starts pouring down.

Eating in those conditions is more like an act of faith than a meal.
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post #11 of 44
11/26/04 at 9:13am
What I don’t get is the fact that in every country the common cold is something that you get, take a few days off work and get over. In Britain I think most people have a cold from November through to March.

Then again I attribute this to the bastards in a crowded office who will NOT even consider taking time off when they have a cold and as such they infect everybody else and then the cold goes around and around for ages. But doesn't hit the office hypochondriac
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post #12 of 44
11/26/04 at 9:14am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlondieJoeManco
don't forget tea, very important. Chips too.
Or complaining. that's vital.
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post #13 of 44
11/26/04 at 9:25am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trinity'sGusset
Or complaining. that's vital.
Britain wouldn't be Britain without complaining. All though I do find it funny that buses seem to not actaully appear nowadays until old ladies complain about them. So maybe complaing is actually a form of old celt invocation.

Then again that would mean that the Daily Mail would be a grimoire of sorts due to its complaint stuffed letter pages.
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post #14 of 44
11/26/04 at 9:36am
I've got the complaining down to a fine-art form - whinging pom indeed!

And I'm with Raiftel re the endless cold - why do the English refuse to take days off? Stiff-upper lips be damned - I want to be healthy!

And I think the late night rain is somehow created by the dodgy take-away shops. Everytime I leave a club/pub it starts raining 'forcing' me into the nearest chippie to take shelter - the rest is history.

Or maybe I'm weak when drunk...
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post #15 of 44
11/26/04 at 9:44am
'Kebab Shop Owners Use Dark Arts to Control Weather'

Future horror story for Daily Mail.

Did anyone see the Daily Mail when they did the

"Asylum Seekers have Evil Gene" story

when they got a quack doctor in to explain how 'all' asylum seekers had an evil gene which meant they could not help themselves and had to commit crimes.
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post #16 of 44
11/26/04 at 9:50am
Actually I find that Britons are mere amateurs compared to Frenchmen when it comes to the ancient art of whingeing. Here we have people going on strike every single week, farmers, teachers truck drivers, and half the time no-one knows what they are complaining about - including the strikers themselves.

Britons' attitudes in contrast always reminded me of that sketch in Meaning of Life where I think John Cleese has his leg bitten off by a "mosquito" and goes "oh well, it's nothing to worry about really - I've still got the other one, no need to call a doctor"
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post #17 of 44
11/26/04 at 9:53am
No Brits will make a mountain out of a molehill and moan about things of little or no consequence but will be nonchalant in the face of true crisis.
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post #18 of 44
11/26/04 at 9:56am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raiftel
Britain wouldn't be Britain without complaining. All though I do find it funny that buses seem to not actaully appear nowadays until old ladies complain about them. So maybe complaing is actually a form of old celt invocation.
You might be onto something here. There are strange histories in this land. Perhaps bus routes follow ancient Druidic delineal markings. Lord knows they make fuck all sense otherwise.

The Daily Mail is the Book of the Dead.

P.S. Mmmm, fudge.
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post #19 of 44
11/26/04 at 10:08am
I second the bus route theory.

Why anyone thinks that a bus with the horsepower of well a horse can transport people across (and generally up) the Yorkshire Dales is beyond me. Generally I think that bus planners just randomly draw lines on maps and mark them as bus routes no matter what is in the way, fields, houses, schools, graveyards, mountains.

Don't you just love the Daily Mail
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post #20 of 44
11/26/04 at 10:14am
British buses make molehills out of mountains.
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post #21 of 44
11/26/04 at 11:27am
They're not so hot with speed-bumps though.

I just went out for lunch, lit a cigarette, and it started raining.
Bloody hell, i feel like burning a sheep.
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post #22 of 44
11/26/04 at 11:27am
It's clear to me that London's public transport is designed purely to grind away my soul.
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post #23 of 44
11/26/04 at 12:19pm
The Daily Mail... where is Al-Quaeda when you really need them?
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post #24 of 44
11/26/04 at 12:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlondieJoeManco
It's clear to me that London's public transport is designed purely to grind away my soul.
First it eats your soul, and then it actually kills you in an accident, all the while making you pay extraordinary prices for the privilege. I'm sure that this is what most of Lucifer's time is spent working on, refining the system with cruel glee - "I think I'll make this train derail now; hey, why don't I throw some more leaves on this track before it actually arrives on time?"

They should send some Vatican investigators to Clapham Junction.
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post #25 of 44
11/26/04 at 12:52pm
Clapham Junction would make Jesus doubt he exists.

My theory is that Britain is a testing ground for God and Satan's new middle management strife plan. They cause pain and suffering to thousands through the use of the civil service.

Hell if god doesn't have something to do with the proposed plan to flood bradford city centre to make a lake then i'll eat my hat.

Also while Satan is in charge of London's transport system he is the designer of all of Middlesborough which in my view was a Beta test for the great evil that is Birmingham
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post #26 of 44
11/26/04 at 1:09pm
I fear the major transcendental beings are busy in America and the Middle East (You can just go decide for yourself who's where): England is in the charge of celestial middle-managers.

Archangel Brian.
A sub-demon so terrifying his very name would drive you insane...called Philip.
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post #27 of 44
11/26/04 at 1:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trinity'sGusset
A sub-demon so terrifying his very name would drive you insane...called Philip.
Ah yes the angel who didn't fall so much as amble down to hell. Phillip operates his evil through the one known as Branson.....

Also I vote Kali as being involved in the Middle East
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post #28 of 44
11/26/04 at 10:42pm
Yes, according to Dante, England is the expasperating level of hell.
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post #29 of 44
11/27/04 at 1:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raiftel
Also while Satan is in charge of London's transport system he is the designer of all of Middlesborough which in my view was a Beta test for the great evil that is Birmingham
As a Middlesbrough citizen I am offended.

Nah who am I kidding, it's a shithole. There's definitely worse, though.
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post #30 of 44
11/28/04 at 7:44am
Well, I'm an englishman abroad but I'll just say hi anyway.
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post #31 of 44
11/29/04 at 10:53am
How do from a fellow en-ger-lander.

Things in Bristol seem to be progressing as normal, although its bloody cold today! On the transport front im still gutted they decided to cancell plans for a tram - i would so use public transport a hell of a lot more if the was the chance of being knocked over by ether Sean Connery or Nicholas Cage (chasing him)in fast red sports cars.

Oh and i belive Terry PRachett and Neil Gamen did point out in Good Omens that the m25 is actually designed to be a gatewell to hell.
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post #32 of 44
11/29/04 at 11:01am
Hell being the Underground network at 8.30 in the morning.
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post #33 of 44
11/30/04 at 12:07pm
Well Charles, looks like we are all still thoroughly British. Good Show!
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post #34 of 44
12/19/04 at 8:01pm
Thread Starter 
Are we still British?

It's really fucking cold. There was snow on the missus' windscreen this morning*. It rarely goes Hoth in Bristol, so I'm not sure if this is some kind of sign.

*above sentence to be read in the tone of the guy in the mayor's office in GHOSTBUSTERS who says 'The walls in the 53rd precinct were bleeding.'
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post #35 of 44
12/19/04 at 8:04pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken Savage
On the transport front im still gutted they decided to cancell plans for a tram - i would so use public transport a hell of a lot more if the was the chance of being knocked over by ether Sean Connery or Nicholas Cage (chasing him)in fast red sports cars.
I once saw two red Ferrari 348tbs racing through the centre of B'tol. No joke. It was ace, but very scary.
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post #36 of 44
12/19/04 at 8:32pm
My girlfriend has gone home to Canada for Christmas and apparantly this is considered quite balmy over there and we are all wusses for complaining about above-zero temperatures.

Quick, what should i get my mum and dad for christmas?
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post #37 of 44
12/19/04 at 8:43pm
Thread Starter 
A George Forman Double-Knock-Out Grill. Only £39.99 at Comet!
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post #38 of 44
12/20/04 at 8:32am
Well, here in Australia, you get to spend christmas in the summer which is really odd especially when you're used to christmas being in winter. I don't think I've experienced a wintery christmas in the decade.
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post #39 of 44
12/20/04 at 10:15pm
Well it's about to get bloody cold here in Dallas so it might feel a bit more like Xmas to me this year. I hear what you're saying Dragon Ma. I lived in Melbourne for 2 years when I was a kid & Christmas felt totally fucking weird in that heat !!
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post #40 of 44
12/21/04 at 12:45pm
Which part of Bristol you from Charles? And yes the snow was weird, although not as weird as the site of me scraping it off the seat of my vespa to passers by no doubt.

And those George Forman Grill things rule, my housemate has one.
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post #41 of 44
1/6/05 at 4:25pm
my gf lives near bristol well swindon lol britsol airport is nice lol only time i get to go to england nowadays is to see my gf but soon im moving over for uni so woo fun for all lol.. anyway.. continue with ur lifes
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post #42 of 44
1/9/05 at 8:54am
Thread Starter 
I'm from Henbury, aka Beirut.

I went out last night and fucked up my foot dancing (well, skanking) to Madness. My clumsiness knows no bounds.
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post #43 of 44
1/9/05 at 10:25am
As well as having to deal with the crazy frog ringtone while I watch TV and go to the cinema, it now attacks me when I log onto Chud....

Anyways did any of you guys see the somewhat extreme weather yesterday. The wind got so bad that a wheelie bin smashed through her window....
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post #44 of 44
1/10/05 at 11:27am
Dancing to Madness? Were you by any chance at the greatest club in Bristol "Reflex???"

Any club that has a giant mural of Kitt compleate with flashing light on the wall, He-man showing you the way to the gents and wonder-woman to the ladies, plus play nothing but 80's music gets my vote.
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