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Doesn't Hold Up, Case File 505: NEWSIES

post #1 of 9
12/18/04 at 6:20pm
Thread Starter 
This film is only two hours but feels like three.

The lyrics are impressive, but the songs go on way too long.

Robert Duvall doesn't phone it in, but tries to eat every piece of scenery availible. Example: "AAAAHHH! AAAAHHH!" :: holds ears ::

Bill Pullman can't sing. Luckilly, the director realizes this and gives him a total of THREE lines to "recite" in the whole musical.

Outside of the two or three New Yorkers in the cast, the accents are horrible.

If I remember correctly, the actual Newsboy strike took place in 1896, not 1899, and was CRUSHED by the armies of Pulitzer and Hearst. Guess they really were nothing.

I keep waiting for Christian Bale to discuss the merits of Alexander's Ragtime Band, and then turn into Batman with a chainsaw. That's just me, though.

The film ends with TEDDY FUCKING ROOSEVELT riding in to save the day. The deus ex machina to end all deus ex machinas.

The one thing that I get a kick out of is this line: "If I hate the headline, I'll make up the headline and I'll say anything I hafta." This should become the new Fox News theme song.

This is one musical that belonged on the stage. I actually think it would've been more successful and effective if they had done it for the theatre rather than attempt to make a film out of the story. I keep hearing that there is a production in the works or a script for a stage version floating around, but I cant' seem to find it.
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post #2 of 9
12/18/04 at 6:49pm
My sister loves this movie. I just think it is pretty lame all around. At least Christian Bale went on to bigger and better things.
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post #3 of 9
12/26/04 at 11:42pm
This is almost as bad as "Swing Kids."

ALMOST. Still reeks though.
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post #4 of 9
12/26/04 at 11:53pm
I am the only person I know who hasn't seen this. When the movie comes up in conversation, my friends always look at each other and sing, "So that's what they cawl a family; mudda, dawda, fawda, sun." And then they talk about Christian Bale stealing a horse.
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post #5 of 9
12/27/04 at 12:21am
Thread Starter 
Reg, that's Santa Fe, and your friends are WRONG, because it's "wit a daughta, fadda, son." Also, yeah, stealing a horse. Classic. And then he kills the horse with a chainsaw. And turns into Batman.

And Swing Kids is wretched. Absolutely wretched. KENNETH BRANAGH, for christ's sake, and even he can't save that piece of shit.
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post #6 of 9
1/3/05 at 12:22am
"THE NAZIS ARE COMIN, EVERYBODY DANCE!"

Fuckin SWING KIDS!
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post #7 of 9
6/16/11 at 6:20am

So watched this with the girlfriend last night. I had heard a few of the songs before, but I swear hadn't seen the movie in its entirety. With the eyes of a 27 year old, it's a misfire but makes up for its horrible accents and hokey plot with earnestness. I admit there's a disconnect to seeing Christian Bale singing and dancing, but I give the man credit and there is some fancy footwork on display here.

 

Watching this with the lady, I couldn't help get caught up in her enthusiasm. With a background in dance and music, this movie was her Star Wars; or as she put it, "hot boys dancing when I was 11!" We also had a good laugh about how not only is David's sister shoe-horned in as a love interest for Bale's Jack, not only is she only in the movie for about five minutes, but she's just about the worst actress in the history of film.

 

Oh, and not really sure what his fascination was, but Rath/Brendan started nearly identical threads almost a year apart:

http://www.chud.com/community/forum/thread/56322/we-improves-our-circulation-walkin-till-we-fall-newsies

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post #8 of 9
6/16/11 at 6:42am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post

 

 

. With a background in dance and music, this movie was her Star Wars; or as she put it, "hot boys dancing when I was 11!" We also had a good laugh about how not only is David's sister shoe-horned in as a love interest for Bale's Jack, not only is she only in the movie for about five minutes, but she's just about the worst actress in the history of film.

 

 

haha yes this!!  My middle school friends and I loved this movie so dearly.  We'd sing the songs, debate what happened after the movie ended.  Wrote odd fan fiction style stories of us living in the Newsies' world.    I got it from Netflix and (made) my kids watch it with me.  They loved the songs and dances.  This movie will always be one I can look back at not for the awful problems it has (and yeah I admit it has amazingly ridiculous editing and choreo problems-wth is with Bale's Santa Fe dance?) but for the memories of my girlfriends giggling over pictures of Spot Conlon, Cowboy and Davie.

Also, because of Spot we all watched RoboCop3, so there's that.
 

 

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post #9 of 9
6/19/11 at 3:01pm

I love this movie, flaws and all. I watched it over and over again as a kid, and when I revisited it again about a year ago, I still enjoyed it. It's not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, but I still know all the words to all the songs, and I can't divorce it from my previous experience. It is wild to see Bale singing and dancing though. It took me about 3 viewings of Batman Begins before I realized "Oh shit, Batman is the kid from Newsies!"

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