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The Awful STAR WARS Merchandise Thread - Page 3

post #101 of 118
4/3/05 at 3:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randolph Carter
One of the most pointless Star Wars action figures ever:
Yeah, but funnily enough that's not even the real thing. It's a well-made but even more pointless custom.
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post #102 of 118
4/3/05 at 4:11pm
Anyone had an encounter with the "M&M"pire yet? I'm digging the "Darth Mix" dark chocolate ones.
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post #103 of 118
4/3/05 at 4:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randolph Carter
One of the most pointless Star Wars action figures ever:

How is it pointless? A fat guy named PORKINS! Fucking brilliance.
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post #104 of 118
4/3/05 at 4:45pm
Porkins is to Star Wars what Ron Jeremy is to porn: Someone there just so the average audience member can relate to them. Same with hobbits - chubby people who love food, hardly interact with women and live in rooms underground. Shit, that's a fanboy! Tolkein definitely knew his audience!
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post #105 of 118
4/6/05 at 1:11pm
Okay, we HAVE hit rock bottom. It has finally happened...

STAR WARS TOILET PAPER


Now, coffnrock, et al. can literally wipe their asses with the prequels!
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post #106 of 118
4/6/05 at 1:33pm
Did you notice it says :

"Mollig Dick and Sicher"

What does that mean? "for use on dick and shit hole?
Do you actually need instructions for toilet paper?
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post #107 of 118
4/6/05 at 1:49pm
Babelfish says that it roughly translates into "Chubby thick and safe."

Which I'm guessing means "Fluffy, thick, and strong" or somesuch.
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post #108 of 118
4/6/05 at 2:12pm
either way its a perfect description of me...
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post #109 of 118
4/10/05 at 5:28pm
http://us.mms.com/us/mpire/qt_large.jsp
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post #110 of 118
4/10/05 at 5:59pm
That M&M spot is amazing. It's both shamelessly whorish, and yet more appeasing that the PT films put together. The appearence of Boba M&M Fett is priceless.
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post #111 of 118
4/11/05 at 11:56am
Is there any STAR WARS branded hand lotion out there? That should come in handy next month when some Episode III chick shows her n00dz in Playboy. It's probably Twi'lek Cantina Dancer #3 or something.
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post #112 of 118
4/13/05 at 9:17pm
I just got an email from StarWars.com with this subject line "Pet Costumes Now In Stock!" Then it was followed by

"Dear Jason,

The family dog can now be one of your favorite Star Wars characters! Dress up your pet as the Sith Lord Darth Vader. The costume comes in five different sizes and includes headpiece and jumpsuit with attached arms, cape, and belt."

Good to know Lucasfilm! Good to know!
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post #113 of 118
4/14/05 at 1:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fett
The SW action market is full of pieces like this, recreating one tiny bit of the film. Admittedly, it's more a statue, but how many collector's really play with their toys?
*Swerves to avoid near-collision with obvious but oh-so-tempting masturbation joke*
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post #114 of 118
4/20/05 at 4:15am
That Dark Chocolate M&M "Darth Mix" is pretty good.
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post #115 of 118
4/20/05 at 11:04am
To me they taste pretty much the same as the regular ones. There's only a very slight difference.

What I want to know is why the "Jedi Mixes" used milk chocolate. Using white chocolate would have made more sense.
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post #116 of 118
4/20/05 at 11:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werbal_Kint
What I want to know is why the "Jedi Mixes" used milk chocolate. Using white chocolate would have made more sense.
You should have put "I'm not racist, but..." before that thought. Now we see the real you.


And the Dark Chocolate M&Ms are great. I hope they stick around even after the SW promotion.
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post #117 of 118
4/20/05 at 1:40pm
I'm not racist, but only the Mace Windu Jedi mix packs should have been milk chocolate.
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post #118 of 118
4/20/05 at 1:43pm
The Lava Berry Explosion Pop Tarts are great. Fans expecting the hickory-smoked flavor of immolated Hayden Christensen will be disappointed, however.
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