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The Awful STAR WARS Merchandise Thread - Page 2

post #51 of 118
1/24/05 at 1:51pm
He means that you missed one when you were destroying them all with the force.
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post #52 of 118
1/29/05 at 1:22am
Okay, so I was wrong. THIS is what the rock bottom of the barrel looks light:

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post #53 of 118
1/29/05 at 1:37am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randolph Carter
GASP!
That actually looked cool until i realised that it was a fucking lawn sprinkler!

This reminds me of a scene in George Lucas first film Thx 1138, where the main character is feeling really depressed, so he goes into a sort of confession chamber where he talks of his problems.Inside the chamber there is a picture of a bearded mans face, and a voice telling Thx 1138 to "Buy more and be happy".Hmmmm, that´s kinda weird but the bearded man actually looks a bit like good ol´ George Lucas, telling us to buy more of his Star Wars merchandise crap.
It´s pretty fucking ironic, eh?!
George Lucas looks like Jesus?
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post #54 of 118
1/29/05 at 2:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl Cunningham
Okay, so I was wrong. THIS is what the rock bottom of the barrel looks light:
No way! Is that really real? My God... if those are real, you hands down win as king of the awful Star Wars merchandise thread. No one can top that.... no one!
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post #55 of 118
1/29/05 at 2:14am
Unfortunately, real.
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post #56 of 118
1/29/05 at 2:20am
If I ever have to put my cat Rocket down, I think I will get him the Vader costume and burn him on a pyre like Luke did to Vader. Hopefully his ghost can come back and smile at me. The real mystery is whether or not he will be the old fat Rocket, or the young strapping Rocket.

Rocket is lucky his days aren’t numbered!

Imagine the freaky bastard that would actually dress their pet up. Then imagine they also have a Star Wars obsession. That's a funny guy right there.
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post #57 of 118
1/29/05 at 3:03pm
Most. Humiliated. Dogs. Ever.
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post #58 of 118
1/29/05 at 7:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl is the Universe
George Lucas looks like Jesus?
Well, they both have beards.
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post #59 of 118
2/8/05 at 7:28pm
I think this one tops Darth Tater, but is still well behind the dog costumes. A sticker or car air freshener that says "who's your daddy?" is stupid on it's own, but this makes it worse:
(and yes, this is real and from starwars.com)

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post #60 of 118
2/8/05 at 8:05pm


Disturbing.
I can imagine some horny geek dressing up his dog as Princess Leia.
Ugh.
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post #61 of 118
3/22/05 at 8:00pm
Mas Amedda. I abhor this character. I hate him. Hate. Hate. HATE. And this figure does him no favors:

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post #62 of 118
3/22/05 at 8:17pm
Ha! I was just checking that out at Rebelscum thinking "ehhhh... ", then I switch browser tab to chud and there he is again. With added Cunningham hate to boot! What's he done to inspire such anti-love Carl?
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post #63 of 118
3/22/05 at 8:24pm
Hard to explain, really. The character just really, really irritates me. I can't stand the way he looks, the way he delivers his lines, and the contrived nature of the character in general (he should have been one of the dignitaries seen in ROTJ, dammit).

He's just very annoying. Not in a Jar Jar way, mind you. Much more sublime... which might actually make him worse.
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post #64 of 118
3/22/05 at 9:18pm
He's an arrogant bastard, that's for sure.

Can we start a "I Hate Mas Amedda" thread? Sort of the antithesis of the Wat Tambor "I Love You!" thread.
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post #65 of 118
3/22/05 at 9:22pm
Thread Starter 
The new Royal Guard is fucking lame, AGAIN. I curse Hasbro for making shitty decisions.
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post #66 of 118
3/22/05 at 9:41pm
Basically horn envy then, huh Carl?
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post #67 of 118
3/23/05 at 11:06pm
Let's talk some more about shitty Star Wars action figures, shall we?

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post #68 of 118
3/24/05 at 12:34am
Thread Starter 
I have that one, it's awesome. How is that shitty?
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post #69 of 118
3/24/05 at 12:25pm
Cause what the hell else can he do except stand around with his arms behind his head like a retard? He's totally useless.
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post #70 of 118
3/24/05 at 12:28pm
Macarena Chewie is the best action figure EVER.
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post #71 of 118
3/24/05 at 12:35pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werbal_Kint
Cause what the hell else can he do except stand around with his arms behind his head like a retard? He's totally useless.
The SW action market is full of pieces like this, recreating one tiny bit of the film. Admittedly, it's more a statue, but how many collector's really play with their toys?
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post #72 of 118
3/24/05 at 1:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werbal_Kint
Cause what the hell else can he do except stand around with his arms behind his head like a retard? He's totally useless.
There's tons of stuff. Have GI Joes take him prisoner. Have Barbie give him head... Ok, so there's just the two besides sit there, but it's still more than just sit there.
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post #73 of 118
3/24/05 at 1:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fett
The new Royal Guard is fucking lame, AGAIN. I curse Hasbro for making shitty decisions.
Why don't you like it? Early reports I have seen on some of the collecting boards claim that this is the best Royal Guard yet.
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post #74 of 118
3/24/05 at 1:24pm
Thread Starter 
As they have done with all modern Royal Guards, he has two armholes, and a cut in his robe on his left arm like his right arm, unlike the actual ROTJ/AOTC/ROTS guard which only has one arm visible. Which we know they don't have. IIRC, the whole point of the robe is that they're concealing huge guns under there, held with the left arm.

The worse thing is they've doctored the photo on the card to make it look like their figure.
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post #75 of 118
3/24/05 at 1:26pm
Hmm, I see. Thanks. You know more about this collecting stuff than I do these days, so I thought I would ask.
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post #76 of 118
3/24/05 at 1:30pm
Thread Starter 
No probs. I'm not into it as much as I used to be, well hardly at all, but I do visit Rebelscum and Galactic Hunter daily.

It's just kind of maddening that the best RG is still the 1983 ROTJ edition (not counting the awesome 1998 POTF 12"), but I am a nerd about it because I love the guys. I just find it weird no one else seems to have brought it up. I think most are drooling because it has a soft goods cloak, which admittedly makes it look nice.
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post #77 of 118
3/24/05 at 1:34pm
After seeing the beautiful, and much larger figures for the Lord of the Rings movies, (which only cost a buck and change more), I can't help but to see these new figures as lame and over- priced.

The unleased figures however will be mine.
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post #78 of 118
3/24/05 at 1:36pm
Thread Starter 
The difference between LOTR and SW is vehicles. LOTR has fell beasts and horses, SW has all kinds of shit which they have to keep the price down on, so it's a question of scale.
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post #79 of 118
3/24/05 at 1:36pm
Thread Starter 
I also take issue with some of the horrible painting on the LOTR figures (especially Aragorn).
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post #80 of 118
3/24/05 at 1:42pm
The LOTR figures got a lot better as the line went on, but they never made a good Aragorn.
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post #81 of 118
3/24/05 at 1:44pm
With the exception of the Ring Wraiths (how could they mess those up, anyway) and the larger 12"+ figures I felt that the LOTR toy line was absolutely horrendous.

Not quite down to the Van Helsing level, but still. Poop.
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post #82 of 118
3/24/05 at 1:55pm
Do you mean the rotocast figures or the 12-inch dolls, cause the dolls sucked.
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post #83 of 118
3/24/05 at 1:59pm
You guys are a bunch of giant nerds. I just want you to know that.
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post #84 of 118
3/24/05 at 2:02pm
Fuck you, Gungan humper!
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post #85 of 118
3/24/05 at 2:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werbal_Kint
Do you mean the rotocast figures or the 12-inch dolls, cause the dolls sucked.
I know nothing of "dolls".

Actually, I only own two LOTR toy items: The FOTR Ring Wraith with Steed and the large talking Gollum. There were a few other items that looked cool, but the line was mostly blah-to-ick for me.
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post #86 of 118
3/24/05 at 2:07pm
Thread Starter 
I have the FOTR Ringwraith, and the ROTK Witch-king/King Aragorn/Ceremonial Eomer. I did have the TTT but I gave it to my ex-girlfriend's son because I hated it.
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post #87 of 118
3/24/05 at 2:20pm
If we're going to start to throw weird stuff from other franchises into this thread...I offer you this...



'The ALIEN Backscratcher'

Surely a 'must-own'.
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post #88 of 118
3/24/05 at 2:21pm
That looks a lot more like an Alien Dildo.
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post #89 of 118
3/24/05 at 2:26pm
I pity your wife/girlfriend/'significant other', then.
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post #90 of 118
3/24/05 at 7:50pm
If The excerpts that people have been posting on the net are indicative of what the ROTS Novelization is going to be like,that definently qualifies as Awful Star Wars Mechandise.
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post #91 of 118
3/24/05 at 8:07pm
I get the impression that dudalb is not a Matt Stover fan.
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post #92 of 118
3/24/05 at 9:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by poopoodle
Hey Carl, didn't you say that Burger King was coming out with some old school SW glasses?

When and what? Any pictures?
I thought he said they weren't.
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post #93 of 118
3/24/05 at 9:26pm
Well, you're BOTH right. They were, but now they're not. Burger King unfortunately nixed the plans for the glasses a month or so ago and now all they will have are toys (though the BK stores will all be dressed up the the 9's in SW decor). Yes, it sucks. Oh well, at least it'll save me money since the toys don't interest me.
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post #94 of 118
3/24/05 at 10:53pm
You mean you're not going to come over and play after Snake Eyes (Haters thread) and I are done playing Star Wars the Roleplaying game?

I think I'm going to collect the plush style ones. The "Squirters" are a pass for me. Unless the completist "gene" takes over..
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post #95 of 118
3/26/05 at 4:06am
I don't have a pic, but the worst fucking figure-ever is that damn blasphemous version of R5-D4.

I love droids. Have them all. Anything with robots is my thing, but this was the worst fucking choice for any star wars figure ever.

A missle? Legs that are frozen in position?

FUCK OFF!


Also who can forget during Marvel comics run, Han Solo's pal "Jaxx", a green-skinned rabbit in a red and white jumpsuit.
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post #96 of 118
3/30/05 at 8:30pm
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post #97 of 118
3/30/05 at 9:14pm
Hey man, Darth Vader Pop Tarts are fucking good. They are right up there with Darth Vader Cheese-its. Have you no taste?

I'm going to finish this post later, my 7-11 just got Darth Vader lottery tickets in (which by the way I think comes in second to Star Wars animal costumes).
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post #98 of 118
3/31/05 at 1:52pm
I was just looking at Wal-Mart's site & saw that the Ultimate Villain is almost $50. Damn, I was really tempted by that but wifey will hurt me if I spend that much. I was thinking of getting one of the small Greivous figures to sit on top of the PC but now I've seen the 12" version I want that !!

Gotta have a Vader of some form as well though, always was my fave. I remember how hard it was to get the old Vader figure back in the 70's, and that was pretty horrible. Little wrap-around plastic cloaks ring any bells? Yuck.
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post #99 of 118
3/31/05 at 2:04pm
I'll get those pop-tarts. It seems like they only use the wild berry flavor for special promos (this and Spider-Man).

But did you see the Dark Side has removed the chocolate from some Kudos bars? The nefarious villains!
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post #100 of 118
4/3/05 at 3:20pm
One of the most pointless Star Wars action figures ever:
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