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Help! I'm trapped in an episode of "Sex In The City"!!

post #1 of 22
1/27/05 at 3:31pm
Thread Starter 
So, I am sitting here as I type this from a cool little coffee shop down the street from my house (with free Wi-Fi, of course)...

Right now, it is just me at a small table in the corner and another table in the cafe that is filled with (mostly) attractive 30-something women. I was enjoying the eye candy when their conversation became louder and much too detailed and personal.

Overheard: "I want to get pregnant, but my uterus just ins't co-operating" The reply, "Do it doggy-style and keep your butt up in the air for at least 5 minutes after he's done. It will make sure as much of the stuff as possible stays inside you."

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post #2 of 22
1/27/05 at 3:32pm
Whereupon Carl spat out his cream-filled doughnut.
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post #3 of 22
1/27/05 at 3:35pm
That's funny. Buy an Ipod.
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post #4 of 22
1/27/05 at 3:35pm
Thread Starter 
Close. I did have a hard time eating the piece of Oreo Cheesecake that accompanied that exchange.
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post #5 of 22
1/27/05 at 3:36pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ockham
That's funny. Buy an Ipod.
I was thinking the same thing, which is why I now have headphones on.
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post #6 of 22
1/27/05 at 3:37pm
Damn, funny shit.
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post #7 of 22
1/27/05 at 3:39pm
what? she's right...lying with hips propped for 15 minutes after intercourse will help ensure as much semen as possible stays in the uterus.

or...something.

*quietly backs out of the testosterone filled thread, then turns and runs*
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post #8 of 22
1/27/05 at 3:43pm
Obviously Carl has been out of the dating scene for a while. That was a obviously a thinly veiled request for a little help.
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post #9 of 22
1/27/05 at 3:46pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy Jankis
Obviously Carl has been out of the dating scene for a while. That was a obviously a thinly veiled request for a little help.
I come to this place at least once or twice a week, but I'm sure they don't know me well enough to be aware that if I am prodigious at one thing it's making cute babies.
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post #10 of 22
1/27/05 at 3:51pm
It's cute that Carl still thinks all those babies are his.
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post #11 of 22
1/27/05 at 3:53pm
Thread Starter 
U R mean.



Great. Now a couple has brought their newborn into the cafe. This should lead into more TMI talk amongst the Estrogen Brigade once they leave.
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post #12 of 22
1/27/05 at 3:59pm
Thread Starter 
I knew it.

Back to the headphones (discomfort or not).
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post #13 of 22
1/27/05 at 4:00pm
Poor Carl. That reminds me of the time I overheard a similiar conversation via cell phone, on the bus.

So so scary.
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post #14 of 22
1/27/05 at 5:17pm
Quick, start stabbing people with your butter knife. It'll turn into an episode of Law and Order instead.
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post #15 of 22
1/27/05 at 6:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by hev
what? she's right...lying with hips propped for 15 minutes after intercourse will help ensure as much semen as possible stays in the uterus.

or...something.

*quietly backs out of the testosterone filled thread, then turns and runs*
She's absolutely right. I know it for a fact. (I'll spare you all the juciy details.)
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post #16 of 22
1/28/05 at 3:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Van Jones
Quick, start stabbing people with your butter knife. It'll turn into an episode of Law and Order instead.
And Lennie Briscoe will rise from the dead to the theme music and solve the case.

Carl, get thet knife ready...
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post #17 of 22
1/28/05 at 1:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by hev
what? she's right...lying with hips propped for 15 minutes after intercourse will help ensure as much semen as possible stays in the uterus.
It will also ensure the woman looks like a fool....bring a digi as well as an ipod. Muahahaha, we must name the child after whatever I want, or these pics will be everywhere, mauahahah

Anyway.

Overhearing weird conversations is another norm of the 21st century, damn cell phones...
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post #18 of 22
1/28/05 at 1:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl Cunningham
So, I am sitting here as I type this from a cool little coffee shop down the street from my house (with free Wi-Fi, of course)...

Right now, it is just me at a small table in the corner and another table in the cafe that is filled with (mostly) attractive 30-something women. I was enjoying the eye candy when their conversation became louder and much too detailed and personal.

Overheard: "I want to get pregnant, but my uterus just ins't co-operating" The reply, "Do it doggy-style and keep your butt up in the air for at least 5 minutes after he's done. It will make sure as much of the stuff as possible stays inside you."
Actually, this isn't really an episode of Sex & The City. They rarely ever talked about wanting to have a family, except one character, and she never went into detail about how she was trying to get pregnant with her friends on the show, because the friends were too busy fucking everything in sight or talking about how much sex they were having. You know, just like what women in their late 30's do in real life.

This is more like an episode of The View, or a thread from one of those "trying to concieve" message boards.

Still, the opportunity for comedy interjection on your part was golden. You should make it a point to offer advice if you hear them again!
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post #19 of 22
1/28/05 at 2:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Van Jones
Quick, start stabbing people with your butter knife. It'll turn into an episode of Law and Order instead.
DOINK DOINK!
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post #20 of 22
1/31/05 at 5:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by cognizant
Overhearing weird conversations is another norm of the 21st century, damn cell phones...
I was walking in the mall when some guy looking right at me yelled "ALL RIGHT, YOU PICK UP THE KIDS!!!" It took me a full minute to realize he was talking on one of those cellphone mini-headsets. With those damn things getting smaller and smaller, it's getting harder to tell who's crazy anymore.
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post #21 of 22
1/31/05 at 8:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by cognizant
It will also ensure the woman looks like a fool....bring a digi as well as an ipod.
This is one of the big positions in soft porn shoots, isn't it?
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post #22 of 22
1/31/05 at 9:54pm
If you really were trapped in an episode of Sex in the City, there would be too much voiceover in your head and lots of talk about women's fashion.
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