Best Movie Line Ever!

"That coffee is for closers only." Pretty much Alec Baldwin's entire speech from Glenngary, but that line is my fav. in the speech.

"... The blood bank!"

'But I hope you leave enough room for my fist cause I'm going to RAM IT INTO YOUR STOMACH!'

... AND break your goddamned spine!

"Bart! You shifty nigga...they said you wuz hung!"
"And theyz was right!"

obviously...

"I have come to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and I'm all outta gum!"- They Live.

"Shut the fuck up Donny!"- The Big Lebowski.

"I'm a doctor of journalism goddamnit!"- Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

"Nobody knows anybody, not that well." and "What heart!"- Miller's Crossing.

or anything from any of those films really.

"I could've been a contender." That line has passed into the realm of cliche, but I dare you to sit down for "On the Waterfront" and see if it doesn't punch you in the gut.

"Yippee ki yay, motherfucker!"

"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

"This is what happens, Larry, when you fuck a stranger in the ass!"

"And don't call me Shirley."

"I am your father."

"How in the name of Zeus' butthole did you get out of your cell?!"

"You built a time machine...out of a DeLorean?"

"Do you know why the number 200 is so descriptive of you and me? It's your weight and my I.Q."

"I can't make new memories...everything fades. If we talk for too long, I'll forget where we started -- I've told you this before?"

"Jack...? Jack is dead, my friend. You can call me The Joker. And as you can see, I'm a lot happier."

'heres lookin at you kid' & 'louis, i think this is the start of a beautiful friendship'

'sic transit gloria. glory fades. im max fischer.'

'ezekial 25:17'

"This one goes to 11."

"Even the Mona Lisa is falling apart."

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner" (the only worthwhile thing in the entire movie)

"Thats right, nobody fucks with the Jesus."

"It's nawt a toomah!"

"Plastics."

"As far back as I could remember, I always wanted to be a gangster."

"We all need mirrors to remind us who we are."

"My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks." "In a row?"

"There is a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."

YES!!

"Don't smaht me. I want to watch you squirm. And when you smaht me, it roons it." (Miller's Crossing)

"Get away from her, you bitch!" (Aliens)

"I once had a man shot for talking to me like that."
"Yeah, well, that's the difference between you and me. I've always done my own killing." (The Taking of Pelham One, Two, Three)

"You're dead, son. Get yourself buried." (Sweet Smell of Success)

"Either they don't know, won't show, or don't care about what's goin' on in the hood." (Boyz in the Hood)

"The sow is mine!" (The Exorcist)

"I don't know. I'm making this up as I go along." (Raiders)

"This is what happens Larry when you fuck a stranger in the ass." (Big Lebowski)

"Indiana was the dog's name." (Last Crusade)

"...and I'm Ron Burgendy. Go fuck yourself San Diago" (Anchorman)

"Laugh it up fuzzball." (Empire Strikes Back)

"INCONCEIVABLE!" (Princess Bride)

"The only thing I see here is a political fiasco that I am about to avoid by letting this butt fucking Brady Bunch go" (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back)

"My God. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school." (Fight Club)

"Sure, I could have stayed in the past. I could have even been king. But in my own way, I *am* king. Hail to the king, baby. "

"Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"... "

Before: I'll live to see you eat that contract (Fetts turn)

"Yippie-Kay-Yay, Motherfucker."

"FUCK. YOU. That's my name."

"The one constant through all the years,Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again."

"I don't know, they were jammies! They had Yodas and shit on 'em!"

As requested.

"Nailed 'em both" just after Murtaugh.....well nailed 'em both

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams ... glitter in the dark near Tanhauser Gate. All those ... moments will be lost ... in time, like tears ... in the rain. Time ... to die."

"Excuse my friend here. He is dead tired....."-Commando
"Its not a tumor!!"
"Lay off some steam...."

"You're slipping, red, I used to be afraid of that look, the withered look of the goddess" The Philedelphia Story.

"I know it was YOU Fredo, you broke my heart"

"Go ahead and run sweetie, I'll track down all'a'you whores" Miller's Crossing.

"I guess you're not such an asshole after all" "Oh, I'm still an asshole, I'm just your kinda asshole" Die Hard 2

"Rawwwrr" "Boy, you said it Chewie"

"Cough up a buck ya cheap bastard" Reservoir Dogs is full of classic lines.

"DON'T FUCK WITH MY PLAY" Rushmore

"Anyone can tell I didn't do that" "Why's that Harry?" "Because he looks too damn good that's why" Dirty Harry

You must be my clone.

"What the fuck is that? Barbecues and ballgames?"
"Yeah..."
"This regular-type life, that your life?"
"My life? No. My life is a disaster zone..." And so on.

"I love you"
"I know"

"Can't remember to forget you"

"When you die you're going to regret the things you don't do. You think you're queer? I'm going to tell you something: we're all queer. You think you're a thief? So what? You get befuddled by a middle-class morality? Get shut of it. Shut it out. You cheated on your wife? You did it, live with it. You fuck little girls, so be it. There's an absolute morality? Maybe. And then what? If you think there is, then be that thing. Bad people go to hell? I don't think so. If you think that, act that way. A hell exists on earth? Yes. I won't live in it. That's me. You ever take a dump made you feel like you'd just slept for twelve hours?"

"Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phil - "Sorry." - grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

"I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope"

"You're not wrong, Walter, you're just a fucking asshole!"
"Okay then..."

"And I knew, the way you know about a good melon"

"Well, nobody's perfect"

"I like to watch."

Some starters..

"Hey Moose, Rocko. Help the judge find his checkbook, will ya?"

"Man, that's cold. He took my boy Leroy.. and threw him out the window!"

"Of course. Druish princesses are often attracted to money.. and power.. and I have both.. and you KNOW it!"

"I'm sorry, I don't do impressions. My training is in psychiatry."

But the all-time best exchange is:

"I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?"
"By choice, man! Yeah. It's a conscious choice!"

"OOOO! Big Man! Let me buy ya a pack of gum an teach ya how to chew it!"

"GAME OVER, MAN! GAME OVER! WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW! WE'RE IN SOME REAL PRETTY SHIT, NOW, MAN!"
"Are you finished!"

"I say we grease this rat-fuck sun-uf-a-bitch right now!"

"No fuckin shit lady! Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?!?"

"TETSUO!!!"
"KANEDA!!!"

"Superman..." - (Iron Giant)

"Funny - she doens't look Druish."

"Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence".

"Attention whoever you are: This is a reserved channel, for emergency use only."
"No fuckin' shit lady, do I sound like I'm orderin' a pizza?!?" - Die Hard

"Why did Mr. Milo cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in a chicken." - Last Boy Scout

"...And every time I pitch against you, I'm gonna stick it up your fuckin' ass!" - Major League

"See those chicks? Girl Scouts. I bought two boxes." - Adventures of Ford Fairlane.

"You're a lot of woman, you know that? Hey, wanna make fourteen dollars the hard way?" - Caddyshack

"I swear on my fucking mother, if you ever touch her again you're DEAD!" - Good Fellas

"If things go well, I might be takin' her for a ride on the old Bone Rollercoaster. AAAAAHHHH!" - Office Space

"Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know because I ain't about to eat the filthy motherfuckers." - Pulp Fiction

"There's no way you coulda come from my loins. Junior, when we get home, I'm gonna punch yo mamma in the mouth." - Smokey and the Bandit

"Hanmedakeys, yecocksucka." - The Usual Suspects

"Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him."

"How were Katie Holmes' tits?"
"You know the Holocaust?"
"Yeah?"
"Picture the opposite of that!"
"Nice!"

More of an exchange than a line, but it cracks me up and I quote it often.

*deep breath*

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - 25th Hour

Hate is baggage, life's too short to be pissed off all the time, its just not worth it. - American History X

My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room to jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell. -American Beauty


I can tell you 2 things: 1- your hairdo looks ridiculous 2- I ate a lot of garlic, and i just farted. Silent and deadly. - Blade Trinity

Well, I think it's getting pretty serious. We chat online for like two hours a day so yeah, you could say it's getting pretty serious. - Napoleon Dynamite

We must have waffles. We must ALL have waffles, forthwith - Ladykillers


I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me. And it was all because of this terrible Negro. - Trading Places

I'm the Anti-Christ. You've got me in a vendetta kinda mood. You tell the angels in Heaven you've never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you. - True Romance

'Who told you that God-damn lie? Never mind, I know who said it. And I'm going to stick a knife in his heart and send him back to Ireland in a body bag.'
'He's from Scotland.'
'Well then, tell that stupid Mick he just made my list of things to do today.' - Rushmore

"We've been going about this all wrong. This Mister Stay-Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York. We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble!" - Ghostbusters


You're a hallucination, brought on by alcohol--Russian vodka--poisoned by Chernobyl! -Scrooged

"If you dont have my money for me I'll crack your fucking head wide open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time im coming of jail, hopefully you'll be coming out of your coma, and guess what? Ill split your fucking head open again. Beacuse im fucking stupid, and i dont give a fuck about jail. Thats my business, thats what i do!" - Casino


whew thats enough for now

"Oh, are they?"

"If you're gonna shoot, shoot - don't talk."

"Do you know anything about a guy going around playing the harmonica? He's someone you'd remember. Instead of talking, he plays. And when he better play, he talks"

"No-one'll ever love you the way I did."

Little troika of Leone for you there....

Here are mine:

Your best? Losers always whine about doing their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen. - Sean Connery (The Rock)

You want to get Capone? Here's how you get him. He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital; you send one of his to the morgue. That's it: The Chicago Way. - Sean Connery as Jimmy Malone (The Untouchables)

The truth is: you are the weak, and I am the tyranny of evil men. But, I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd. - Samuel L. Jackson as Jules (Pulp Fiction)

You think you're big time? You're gonna fucking die big time. - Al Pacino as Carlito Brigante(Carlito's Way)

Out of order?! I'll show you how out of order I can get. If I was the man I was 20 years ago, I'd take a flamethrower to this place. Out of Order?! Who the hell you think you're talking to? I been around, you know? And I've seen boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there is nothing like the sight of an amputated spirit. There's no prosthetic for that. - Al Pacino as Lt. Col. Frank R. Slade (Scent of a Woman)

Hey Louie, i got guests here, for Christ's sake. You wanna fuck her? Fuck her like a normal person; take her in a bedroom. - Sean Penn as Dave (Carlito's Way)

You disrespect my wife, again, I'll fucking end you. - Robin Williams as Sean Maguire (Good Will Hunting)

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making people believe that he didn't exist. - Kevin Spacey (The Usual Suspects)

Cyclops right? You wanna get out of my way!?! - Hugh Jackman as Logan(X-Men)

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx as Capt. Jeffrey Spaulding(Animal Crackers)

I'm gonna have a butcher's nook around the house. - Terence Stamp as Wilson (The Limey)

We're on a mission from God. - Dan Ackroyd as Elwood Blues (The Blues Brothers)

Are you gonna bark all day, little dog, or are you gonna bite? - Michael Madsen as Mr. Blonde(Reservior Dogs)

That's right. I killed women and children. I killed just about anything that walked or crawled at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you did to Ned. - Clint Eastwood as William Munny(Unforgiven)

I don't what you want me to say, Ray. What, do you want me to move? - Rick Decommun as Art (The Burbs)

You ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight? - Jack Nicholson as The Joker(Batman)

A sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I wouldn't know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucka -Samuel L. Jackson as Jules (Pulp Fiction)

Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.


Why is the only real source of power, without it you are powerless.


It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have.


You know whoever got you, he'll come back again and when he does I'm gonna cut your name right into him. I'm gonna cut your naaame into him.


So finally after 5 years of scratching a living in flea infested villages, we are finally going back to where we belong, the Colosseum. Oh you should see the Colosseum, Spaniard. 50,000 Romans watching every movement of your sword, willing you to make the killer blow. The silence before you strike, and the noise afterwards, it rises, rises up like...like...like a storm, as if you were the Thunder God himself.

"The next time you have a chance to kill someone.....don't hesitate."
BAM.BAM.BAM.BAM.BAM.
"Thanks for the advice."

Yeah, I did. And I've heard something similar in other movies since Die Hard as well.

A few of my favorites "Shop smart....Shop S-mart." "My girlfriend sleeps above the covers.....four feet above the covers." "I'm pretty good with a bo-staff."
"Poopy trip."

Knocked Up has some gems:

"Was you vagina drunk?" gets me every time.

"I live in your phone!!!!"

"Where we're going we don't need roads."

"That chair is so droll"

"I'm going to murderball you!"

"If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."

Too many!

Yeah. Dick skin condom is my favorite in that first restaurant scene. It's not necessarily lines, and maybe this belongs back in the Knocked Up thread, but the back and forth between Jay and Jonah in the Alison meets the boys scene is amazing. That movie's love is spreading into other threads.

I don't understand why Carrie Fisher isn't in more movies. She's hilarious, and her delivery is perfect:

"All I'm saying is that the right man could be out there for you right now, and if you don't get him first, someone else will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that some other woman is married to your husband." (When Harry Met Sally)

"Listen to what he's saying - 'Who's going to help me take over the WORLD someday'.... it feels like that to some of us sometimes, doesn't it?" (Austin Powers)

"Yeah I use product, it's called JEW!"

Lots of my favorites are above. But the ultimate line to me is still from the one...the only...Marion Cobretti:

"You're a disease - and I'm the cure."