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Ten year old pop star fails at life.

post #1 of 25
4/26/05 at 2:33am
Thread Starter 
http://gorillamask.net/rainbow.shtml

I can only imagine the trainwreck this kid's life will turn into.
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post #2 of 25
4/26/05 at 2:46am
proof that homosexuality is not a choice.
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post #3 of 25
4/26/05 at 2:48am
Pardon any typos here. In the middle of that clip I clawed my eyes out and jammed knitting needles through my eardrums. I had to train my dog to type this for me. I hope he does real good.
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post #4 of 25
4/26/05 at 2:53am
I think that's an early Placebo concert.
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post #5 of 25
4/26/05 at 3:26am
He may fail at life, but this kid is living the American dream.*

*American dream is an intellectual property of the United States of America and may include (but not entitled to) apple pie, guns, killer mandrakes, and George W. Bush.
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post #6 of 25
4/26/05 at 4:27am
Here's that kids homepage. http://www.zacharyallen.com
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post #7 of 25
4/26/05 at 4:30am
I think I just broke my funny bone. I don't know if I'll ever laugh again. I saw this and I just realized...that's it. I'll never see anything funnier than this.
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post #8 of 25
4/26/05 at 6:46am
I kept expecting Hugh Grant to step onstage with an electric guitar.
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post #9 of 25
4/26/05 at 9:10am
This poor fucking kid. What the hell will happen when his voice breaks. All he'll be good for (and all his parents will be able to pimp him out for) will be conjugal visits to Michael Jackson on pyjama changing day.
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post #10 of 25
4/26/05 at 11:18am
He'll be no good to Michael Jackson after his voice cracks, Parker.

Who paid to sit in the audience and be subjected to this?
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post #11 of 25
4/26/05 at 11:51am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by T_M
He may fail at life, but this kid is living the American dream.*

*American dream is an intellectual property of the United States of America and may include (but not entitled to) apple pie, guns, killer mandrakes, and George W. Bush.

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post #12 of 25
4/26/05 at 12:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva

*mails coat hanger to Mrs. Federline*
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post #13 of 25
4/26/05 at 12:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JuddL
proof that homosexuality is not a choice.
It's your parent's decision.
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post #14 of 25
4/26/05 at 1:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by eatatjoes
Who paid to sit in the audience and be subjected to this?
Same thing that I was thinking. Holy shit that's a nightmare.
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post #15 of 25
4/26/05 at 2:01pm
Satan Lives!!!!
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post #16 of 25
4/26/05 at 2:27pm
I dunno, I think this proves that Richard Simmons has in fact been in touch with the cloners, and they've done a bang-up job.
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post #17 of 25
4/26/05 at 2:35pm
Don't confuse the art with the artist. He's banging those dancers backstage every night of the tour.
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post #18 of 25
4/26/05 at 3:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trav McGee
Don't confuse the art with the artist. He's banging those dancers backstage every night of the tour.
Smiling and clapping his hands to the rhythm while he's doing it.

Give it ten years and he'll be stalking the darkest corners of the Interstate with a bottle of bleach, tennis ball, trash bags, hack saw and a .357. His parents will be so proud.
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post #19 of 25
4/26/05 at 5:00pm
K'mon, somewhere over the rainbow...

Seriously what the hell was that?
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post #20 of 25
4/26/05 at 6:07pm
Quote:
Give it ten years and he'll be stalking the darkest corners of the Interstate with a bottle of bleach, tennis ball, trash bags, hack saw and a .357. His parents will be so proud.
You win the day! I'm still laughing.
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post #21 of 25
4/26/05 at 6:43pm
Here's a fun game, people. Go to his home page and click on the audio samples of Zach's "songs" and see how many you can get through. I just heard "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Sure, it has reduced me to a crying, destitute mound of flesh. And, I have lost the will to live and am constantly thinking about killing penguins now. But I know one thing - Zach rocks and rocks hard!!

Excuse me, I have to finish my second bottle of gin.
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post #22 of 25
4/26/05 at 7:12pm
Billy Gillman wept.
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post #23 of 25
4/27/05 at 2:01am
Where's Gregory Peck when you need him?
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post #24 of 25
4/27/05 at 8:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stuber
Where's Gregory Peck when you need him?
You win, too.
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post #25 of 25
5/1/05 at 7:45am
You know it wouldn't suprise me a bit to see this kid on TV in 15 years talking about how he is in the final stages of his sex change operation.
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