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Geoff - you're a bloody fool!

post #1 of 26
5/12/05 at 6:11pm
Thread Starter 
Me and my big mouth! For the last few months I’ve been having severe problems with earwax. So much so my wife, friends and colleagues pretty much have to shout for me to hear. I asked my doctor if he could do something about the problem. Just as he was about to cross the Ts and dot the Is on a simple and painless syringing authorization, like a babbling simpleton, I told him I perforated both my eardrums when I was a kid. Now he says syringing is too dangerous and I must have my ear canals “scraped” (OUCH!) with a “dry wax hook” (AAARGGGHH!)

Has anyone here had this torture performed on them? If so, what excruciations am I likely to suffer?
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post #2 of 26
5/12/05 at 6:15pm
Well, that's me totally grossed out. Thanks!
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post #3 of 26
5/12/05 at 6:16pm
Jesus Christ, you already started a thread about this:


http://chud.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79054



You've either been taking posting tips from Jim Pappas, or you seriously need to quit the drugs now.
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post #4 of 26
5/12/05 at 6:17pm
Thread Starter 
Bugger me! I must have been drunk that night.

This is what happens when you are member of more than two message boards.

Ignore me entirely. The wife does.

<GRIN>
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post #5 of 26
5/12/05 at 6:19pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan Whitehead
Well, that's me totally grossed out. Thanks!
Welcome to middle age, Dan.
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post #6 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:13pm
You've posted this in more than one message board? What's wrong with you?

I think I saw a movie once where someone tightly twists a piece of paper and lights the end on fire and it slowly draws the wax out or something. Or maybe it was a book. Choke by Chuck Palahniuk, maybe? Someone help me out here.
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post #7 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:14pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scratch
You've posted this in more than one message board? What's wrong with you?
Old age.
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post #8 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:18pm
That's no excuse for broadcasting your body's intimate secrets. I mean, my grandpa's plenty old, but he doesn't go whipping his cock out in public.
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post #9 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:22pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scratch
That's no excuse for broadcasting your body's intimate secrets. I mean, my grandpa's plenty old, but he doesn't go whipping his cock out in public.
Only on Venus do they procreate via the ear.
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post #10 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:23pm
Have you tried sweet oil?
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post #11 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:23pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Z-Man
Have you tried sweet oil?
Nope. What is it?
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post #12 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:26pm
They sell little bottles of it in drug stores, but it's just olive oil. You heat it up, pout it in your ear, and it melts through the wax.
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post #13 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:30pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Z-Man
They sell little bottles of it in drug stores, but it's just olive oil. You heat it up, pout it in your ear, and it melts through the wax.
Christ I'd pay a witch doctor if I thought it would keep me out of hospital!

Thanks, Z.
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post #14 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:31pm
I had a perforated eardrum when I was younger. Basically I had a hole in my eardrum until I had it fixed in 1990. I was in 7th grade back then. I could go on and on about getting sick, water in the inner ear, pain, pain, more pain, some occasional discomfort, good doctors, crazy doctor shooting some powdery crap in there hoping to close the hole but causing my ear to leak some nasty goo for about 6 months instead, hearing loss, etc etc...

In the end it got fixed, but I've had some of that scraping stuff done. I consider it kind of along the lines as going to the dentist for certain things. Most stuff just seems MAGNIFIED when it's in your head and the ear scraping thing can be pretty ridiculous, especially when you consider there was a friggin' vacuum thing involved too. I can still see myself stiff as a board gripping the arms of the chair as if my life depended on it. But I was a trooper. I had it before my surgery (with the leaky ear) and after. They basically reconstructed my ear drum since it was so messed up (kinda hard as a rock, not so much a soft membrane as it should have been) . It took 3 1/2 hours instead of the 1 1/2 they figured it would.

They had to pack the eardrum on both sides to make sure the operation held. In the end it all worked out, but the scraping and the vacuum came into play again. I didn't like it (not one bit), but it didn't kill me. You'll probably survive too. I just hope I never have to do it again. It doesn't really hurt, it's just ODD.
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post #15 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:33pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanoblech
I had a perforated eardrum when I was younger. Basically I had a hole in my eardrum until I had it fixed in 1990. I was in 7th grade back then. I could go on and on about getting sick, water in the inner ear, pain, pain, more pain, some occasional discomfort, good doctors, crazy doctor shooting some powdery crap in ther hoping to close the hole but causing my ear to leak some nasty goo for about 6 months, hearing loss, etc etc...

In the end it got fixed, but I've had some of that scraping stuff done. I consider it kind of along the lines as going to the dentist for certain things. Most stuff just seems MAGNIFIED when it's in your head and the ear scraping thing can be pretty ridiculous, especially when you consider there was a friggin' vacuum thing involved too. I had it before my surgery (with the leaky ear) and after. They basically reconstructed my ear drum since it was so messed up (kinda hard as a rock, not so much a soft membrane as it should have been) . It took 3 1/2 hours instead of the 1 1/2 they figured it would.

They had to pack the eardrum on both sides to make sure the operation held. In the end it all worked out, but the scraping and the vacuum came into play again. I didn't like it (not one bit), but it didn't kill me. You'll probably survive too. I just hope I never have to do it again. It doesn't really hurt, it's just ODD.
Nanoblech, you are a far braver man than me.
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post #16 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoff Foster
Nanoblech, you are a far braver man than me.
I was never much for water, but the past few years I've gotten a little more into it. I still use ear plugs, even though I'm pretty sure I don't need them. it's a psychological thing, and I still HATE being splashed. I used to just sort of put my fingers in my ears and dunk my head under water for a few seconds. Now every now and then I'll be ina pool, under warter with goggles and earplugs and it's like I'm a kid in a candy store. Never got to have much fun like that when I was a kid... heh heh.
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post #17 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:46pm
This site has several home remedies for ear maladies.
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post #18 of 26
5/12/05 at 7:48pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanoblech
I was never much for water, but the past few years I've gotten a little more into it. I still use ear plugs, even though I'm pretty sure I don't need them. it's a psychological thing, and I still HATE being splashed. I used to just sort of put my fingers in my ears and dunk my head under water for a few seconds. Now every now and then I'll be ina pool, under warter with goggles and earplugs and it's like I'm a kid in a candy store. Never got to have much fun like that when I was a kid... heh heh.
I only learned how to swim in my teens. The catalyst was almost drowning on a frozen lake I shouldn’t have gone anywhere near. If there is a God, he watched over me on that day.
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post #19 of 26
5/13/05 at 12:57am
I had a friend who's eardrum was perforated and that caused a lot of problems for him. He had to put a fitted plug in his ear to go in the water (pool, bath, shower). So, if he had to block water from his ear, imagine what oil or anything else could do.

Do not use any of these home remedies or put anything in your ear. These are for people with normal ears. You will do more damage and cause more pain in the long run if you do it. Seriously, you could damaged your ear internally.

Suck it up and do what the doctor said. That's what you'd say to your kids.
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post #20 of 26
5/13/05 at 8:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scratch
I think I saw a movie once where someone tightly twists a piece of paper and lights the end on fire and it slowly draws the wax out or something.
actually, it's a cone of wax.

geoff, take a peek at this site. i've tried this thing and it works; painlessly, i might add.

(shit, i hope nobody thinks i'm shilling wax cones on the internet! )
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post #21 of 26
5/13/05 at 9:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoff Foster
I only learned how to swim in my teens. The catalyst was almost drowning on a frozen lake I shouldn’t have gone anywhere near. If there is a God, he watched over me on that day.
Are you George Bailey?
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post #22 of 26
5/13/05 at 10:28am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark
Are you George Bailey?
In an alternate universe, I'm a TV evangelist.
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post #23 of 26
5/13/05 at 11:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by slowpulse
actually, it's a cone of wax.

geoff, take a peek at this site. i've tried this thing and it works; painlessly, i might add.

(shit, i hope nobody thinks i'm shilling wax cones on the internet! )
It's called candling the ear, and you can do it with paper, and it's very common among the older people in the south.

I have done it to family members, and had it done to me. It works and it's painless, just make sure the paper is not FLAMING.
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post #24 of 26
5/13/05 at 3:19pm
Careful with that:

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_098.html




...
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post #25 of 26
6/30/05 at 4:21am
Thread Starter 
Had this done yesterday (almost a three-month wait) and I'm VERY pleased to say the whole procedure was completely painless.

I now have a super-power and can hear ants having sex a mile away.
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post #26 of 26
6/30/05 at 10:19am
They aren't a mile away -- they're in your ear!!!!
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