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Tired Shit - Page 217

post #10801 of 12062
Yeah, I've had my share of lousy neighbors while living in an apartment.
post #10802 of 12062
But apartment living means that when you're finally called home to Jesus, your neighbors will eventually have to investigate "that smell..."

I want my bloated carcass to ruin some dickhead's afternoon.
post #10803 of 12062
I remember seeing a photo of a guy who died upright on his toilet and had been sitting there for weeks. His insides had effectively liquefied and filled up the bowl. I think about that sometimes when I'm stretched across my futon...or engaged in a strenuous #2.
post #10804 of 12062
That's how I wanna go.
post #10805 of 12062
And the bowl would have flushed some of it as it filled, right?
post #10806 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichaelM View Post
 

 

This times 1000.

 

As much as I'm irritated by my homeowner's woes over the last 6 months, I'll stil take them over awful neighbors with whom I'm forced to share a wall. Been there, done that. It's living hell.

 

Except that if you DO have shitty neighbors, it's a lot harder to move away. I lived in Oakland CA during the height of the Tech Bubble and through the Bust. My neighborhood got rough. People were being shot in the head in  the "gentrified" area I was renting in. I found a better place, gave 30 days notice and moved out well before then. 

post #10807 of 12062
Were you shot in the head?
post #10808 of 12062
I had the pleasure of someone trying to break into my apartment (to burglarize it...I'm assuming?) in the middle of the night while I was home. I had parked my truck around the corner Ina different spot so I guess they'd been watching and thought I wasn't home.

It was kinda worth it just to see the look on the person's face..
post #10809 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post

I remember seeing a photo of a guy who died upright on his toilet and had been sitting there for weeks. His insides had effectively liquefied and filled up the bowl. I think about that sometimes when I'm stretched across my futon...or engaged in a strenuous #2.

My wife works in a funeral home. They call that "late discovery."
post #10810 of 12062
I'd probably complain to my landlord if I were shot in the head.

"You said this shit was gentrified!"
post #10811 of 12062
"Here's what the Game of Thrones stars look like in real life"

Every year. Every damn year.
post #10812 of 12062
I don't even know what they look like in the show, aside from Sullen Dwarf Guy and Not Galadriel.
post #10813 of 12062
"What some person who was famous in the '80s looks like now will amaze you."

It probably won't. Unless they turned into one of the Battletoads or whatever.
post #10814 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post

I remember seeing a photo of a guy who died upright on his toilet and had been sitting there for weeks. His insides had effectively liquefied and filled up the bowl. I think about that sometimes when I'm stretched across my futon...or engaged in a strenuous #2.

 

I had a pretty bad day yesterday but after reading that I'm feeling simultaneously much more optimistic and utterly grossed out.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

"What some person who was famous in the '80s looks like now will amaze you."

 

And ALL of those fucking clickbait sites force you to click on "NEXT" to see them all, rather than just presenting them on a single page.

 

At least that's what my friends say. I, of course, would never fall for stuff like that.

post #10815 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post

I remember seeing a photo of a guy who died upright on his toilet and had been sitting there for weeks. His insides had effectively liquefied and filled up the bowl. I think about that sometimes when I'm stretched across my futon...or engaged in a strenuous #2.

Back when I lived in England, I bought a bankrupt window company assets at an auction. Strangely enough, among those assets, was a row of flats above some shops (which they also owned).  Mostly everything was empty, but there was a chippy at one end that was still being used and one flat that was still occupied. Needless to say rent hadn't been paid for a bit, I'm not even sure how they stayed occupied during the process. I was just trying to buy some machines and a factory and ended up with a strip mall across the street that was not mentioned in the auction but came up in the property asset list. We contacted a solicitor to contact the residents review the property for sale etc, as I didn't want the place. A few weeks later the solicitor called us that he tasked someone to go to the property and that the occupied flat had a sickening smell and a brown fluid leaking under the flat entrance. The fluid was rotting the door and there was evidence of maggots and fly's. The flat was above a empty shop, so the entrance door open right to some stairs leading up to the flat's door.

 

 So we sent the police over with a key and they couldn't get the door opened (it opened inwards to a small entryway) as it was being blocked from the inside. The fire brigade was called out and they cut the door frame out and as you may have guessed there was the remains of the resident behind the door. They surmised the dude popped his clogs at the top of the stairs, or on his way up or down them, tumbled down to the bottom to come to rest against the door. They said he had been there for a couple of months as the body had liquified. To this day this gives me the shivers. 

 

I had a hell of a time selling the place as well. 

post #10816 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichaelM View Post
 

 

I had a pretty bad day yesterday but after reading that I'm feeling simultaneously much more optimistic and utterly grossed out.

 

 

And ALL of those fucking clickbait sites force you to click on "NEXT" to see them all, rather than just presenting them on a single page.

 

At least that's what my friends say. I, of course, would never fall for stuff like that.

Deslider: 

 

http://desli.de/

post #10817 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

Were you shot in the head?

 

Yeah and now I can't have kids RIMSHOT!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post

I had the pleasure of someone trying to break into my apartment (to burglarize it...I'm assuming?) in the middle of the night while I was home. I had parked my truck around the corner Ina different spot so I guess they'd been watching and thought I wasn't home.

It was kinda worth it just to see the look on the person's face..

 

I giggled thinking of what you were doing that caused that burgler's expression.....

post #10818 of 12062
Just....waiting on him to come in the window. Then flipping on the light..
post #10819 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post

Just....waiting on him to come in the window. Then flipping on the light..

 

 

BOREing!

post #10820 of 12062
It wasn't exactly an action movie! I live in reality...I'm sorry!

I wish I'd have thought to get my phone and capture the moment. THAT might've been funny..
post #10821 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post

It wasn't exactly an action movie! I live in reality...I'm sorry!

 

Damnit Fraid....  You ruined all of us picturing you going Liam Neeson Taken on the guy.

post #10822 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by TzuDohNihm View Post
 

 

Damnit Fraid....  You ruined all of us picturing you going Liam Neeson Taken on the guy.


I pictured him turning on the light and doing this...

 

post #10823 of 12062
Ahahahahahaha!
post #10824 of 12062

post #10825 of 12062

So an update on the Rescreening: The Horror Movie.

 

...it could actually have a happy ending.

 

First, on Wednesday, I watched a couple of screen removal vids on YT, went home and within 10 minutes, successfully removed and put back into place one of the screen frames. Keep in mind I'm the least handy person on the planet. This tells me the company I called was only interested in trying to sell me replacement windows rather than just fix what was wrong. I didn't have time to try the other two screens for long but they both remained stubbornly in place.

 

Then, after getting two quotes for replacement windows (ranging from $1,400 to $2,600), on impulse I called a good friend who's extremely comfortable and experienced with home improvement stuff. It took him a little bit of WD40, some kind of scraping/wedge tool,  and all of 8 minutes to safely remove the other two screens.

 

All three are now at my local hardware store waiting to get rescreened. 

 

Moral of the story: be cynical AF about the opinions of professionals.

post #10826 of 12062

To be honest, the last couple of things I have had to repair/replace around the house or on the cars YouTube has been a fount of unbelievably good videos from amateurs(and the occasional professional) just showing how to get that shit done that I have begun to take a few days to peruse videos when things go bad before calling anyone.

 

Since November I have cut a section of molded drywall out of a bathroom ceiling in my rental house, patched the area, removed the popcorn ceiling, patched and repaired the wall to ceiling joints and painted the ceiling without that popcorn shit on it. I also patched a hole in the wall using scrap wood and scrap drywall. I recently replaced a crankshaft position sensor on a Yukon and a turn signal relay on an Accord and am currently elbows deep in a silicone stripping and resealing project involving a 175G aquarium.

post #10827 of 12062

Yeah, YouTube's value for DIY home and car repair work is invaluable. I'm like the least handy person in the world but finding a good step-by-step video is fucking gold. I've been able to do minor but critical stuff I never otherwise would have figured out on my own.

post #10828 of 12062
While you have those screens out MichaelM maybe check to see if the previous owners had the windows properly installed. I remember one time as a kid when my parents had a few windows replaced and the company didn't bother to use sealant, which after a few winters resulted in my parents having to replace the windows again as well as parts of the walls due to water damage.
post #10829 of 12062

Youtube Tired Shit: I know I'm late to this but I've just watched the Philip DeFranco video on the family who "prank" their kids and film the ensuing tears of their seven or eight year old boys for all of Youtube to watch (and, of course, for the ca$h). What the fuck is wrong with these people? It's insane to watch these parents, who are meant to protect and care for their children, subject the youngest boy to what amounts to bullying on what is apparently a daily basis. 

 

It makes my blood boil.

post #10830 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post

Youtube Tired Shit: I know I'm late to this but I've just watched the Philip DeFranco video on the family who "prank" their kids and film the ensuing tears of their seven or eight year old boys for all of Youtube to watch (and, of course, for the ca$h). What the fuck is wrong with these people? It's insane to watch these parents, who are meant to protect and care for their children, subject the youngest boy to what amounts to bullying on what is apparently a daily basis. 

It makes my blood boil.

Has that just been on TV tonight? Caught about 5 seconds of it then turned off in disgust.
post #10831 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post

Has that just been on TV tonight? Caught about 5 seconds of it then turned off in disgust.

 

I don't think so? I got directed to it from the Twitter page of someone I follow. At first I figured it was going to be your typical fake Youtube video but then I saw it and that kid is really crying his eyes out as his parents shout at him. As DeFranco points out, all of their "prank" videos are specifically aimed at making that one kid cry on camera. It's bullying; pure and simple. The fact that the father uploads those videos and then monetizes them just disgusts me further. 

post #10832 of 12062
Yeah, fuck those people. Children's Aid has all the ammunition they need to take this to a judge.
post #10833 of 12062

WASHINGTON — McCain Foods USA, Inc. announced Saturday that they are issuing a voluntary recall of their frozen hash brown products sold under the Roundy’s and Harris Teeter brands because they may be contaminated with extraneous golf ball materials.

 

extraneous golf ball materials !?!?

post #10834 of 12062
Someone, somewhere is trying to tee off a tater tot right now.
post #10835 of 12062
"This product was processed in a facility that also handles...what, seriously? Golf balls?"
post #10836 of 12062
The only thing that I can think of is that maybe the hash brown people relocated to a facility that previously had manufactured golf balls and didn't do a proper clean up job? Maybe? Cuz otherwise, I got nothin..
post #10837 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevehauk View Post
 

WASHINGTON — McCain Foods USA, Inc. announced Saturday that they are issuing a voluntary recall of their frozen hash brown products sold under the Roundy’s and Harris Teeter brands because they may be contaminated with extraneous golf ball materials.

 

extraneous golf ball materials !?!?

 

 

Did Trump recently tour their factory? 

post #10838 of 12062

Tired shit update.  After months of dreading how long it would take, gettign through US customs and immigration was actually the easiest and fastest I've had yet.  Mental.

 

Tired/weird shit.

 

There was a guy in the lobby of the hotel who had a tie dye Trump t-short, with him embracing the American flag,  These people actually exist.

post #10839 of 12062
Oh yeah...they actually exist. They done come out of the woodwork for this fat orange shitbag. And he can do NO WRONG. Every good thing he doesn't do....it's because some liberal or democrat prevented him from accomplishing it. And every shitty thing he does....they'll find someone else to pin the blame on.

Because Trump is above reproach to them.

Donald fucking Trump.

The mind reels..
post #10840 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy Bain View Post
 

Tired shit update.  After months of dreading how long it would take, gettign through US customs and immigration was actually the easiest and fastest I've had yet.  Mental.

 

 

Being a white man DOES have its advantages. 

post #10841 of 12062
Possibly some kind of meaning to this pic..

post #10842 of 12062
Holy fuck. You have to submit that to someone with publishing reach.
post #10843 of 12062

Neiman Marcus still has stores?

post #10844 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy Bain View Post

Tired shit update.  After months of dreading how long it would take, gettign through US customs and immigration was actually the easiest and fastest I've had yet.  Mental.

Tired/weird shit.

There was a guy in the lobby of the hotel who had a tie dye Trump t-short, with him embracing the American flag,  These people actually exist.

Imagine how wierd it is for Americans, to travel to other countries and discover that the stereotypes we have about you aren't true.
post #10845 of 12062
I went to Florida last year, which is kind of like going to another country. I only saw one person with a rebel flag t-shirt. This was in October, though, before the world ended.
post #10846 of 12062
Quote:
 frozen hash brown products being recalled because they may be contaminated with extraneous golf ball materials.

they say that they were 'harvested together'.

 

WHAT?!

post #10847 of 12062
I'm guessing whatever is used in hash browns (potatoes?), well there were golf balls in the field where they were doing the potato picking.
post #10848 of 12062
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevehauk View Post

they say that they were 'harvested together'.

WHAT?!

That actually makes sense; golf balls having landed in a potato field, and a harvesting machine gathering them up instead of separating them. Commercial agriculture is so automated now that a live human might have never laid hands on the hash browns until the golf balls were too shredded to see with the naked eye.
post #10849 of 12062

From the side, the Trump hotel looks like a massive (stylised) cock and balls.  With the length of the cock WAAAAAY outstripping the size of the balls.

 

You can't tell me that's not deliberate.

post #10850 of 12062
It's also orange.
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