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Tired Shit - Page 219

post #10901 of 12454

Good luck to you, mr Bart.

 

True story: years ago I applied to business school (by then-girlfriend's request) and the exam involved consultation with a psychologist. I recall most of our 15 minutes being devoted to discussing what a shitburger his job was.

post #10902 of 12454
Quote:
 NEVER say "An office floor covered in corpses, bullets, and all of my disappointments made into bleeding flesh".

 

I've worked several jobs that counseling by a psychologist would've been nice when leaving!

post #10903 of 12454
I tried therapy a few years ago. The nice lady told me that I really should be coming in five days a week. I was kind of a mess back then.

Not like now!
post #10904 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
 

This is my last day working for my current job.

 

 

You don't swing it like you used to, man.  

post #10905 of 12454

Apparently not!

post #10906 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
 

Apparently not!

 

No sing along this time, eh?

 

Good luck with the search.  It sucks.  

post #10907 of 12454

Don't really feel like singing.

 

Current mood:

 

post #10908 of 12454

About two years ago, my department was more or less eliminated.  My position still existed (don't ask), but I had to re interview for the job I was already doing.  I spent that summer on a cycle of (It'll be okay/I'll be homeless by October).  It was a big example of suckiness, even though I was arguably in an optimal position to get the job I was already doing.

post #10909 of 12454
Yup, been there for sure. It sucks in the best of circumstances.
post #10910 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
 

 

 

You don't swing it like you used to, man.  

 

post #10911 of 12454
I took some medicine for my allergies and I am seriously trippin balls like I'd taken something illegal. I did not know cough medicine could do this. Pink elephants on parade. There's like....smoke emanating from the letters of the post I'm typing out. This is not the effect I was after. This is fucking weird.

The ceiling looks like liquid and I tried to kill a bug on the floor but it was already dead. But if I look at it is by god crawling..
post #10912 of 12454
Whoa.....thank god that's over. I did not expect that stuff to place me in my own private hellish version of the Willy Wonka boat ride.

DeLSym

LSD is right there in the name. Christ..
post #10913 of 12454
And that's after they removed all the methamphetamine components!
post #10914 of 12454
My step mother, who stopped my Dad and half-brother attending the family shindig thrown in Edinburgh for my and my family's return, trying to tell me how I should spend my limited time in England and who I should visit.

A) It has ABSOLUTELY fuck all to do with her

B) I have very, very little inclination to do anything to appease someone who stood in the way of the entire of my Scottish half of the family getting together for the first time ever.
post #10915 of 12454
Yeah, fuck that. Sometimes you have to go along to get along but life is short. If she has any real grievances with the family (it sounds like just the usual BS) maybe she should come along and try to straighten things out. She certainly shouldn't be holding anyone else back.
post #10916 of 12454
Oh she has no grievances. She's just manipulative and likes to have control.

The absolute BS she spouted "they never eat in, so if you stay with them it will cost you a lot because you have to eat out", "their kids dont say a word, they're always in their tablets", "you'll be bored within minutes" vs the reality was incredible. Also the shit she'd been spouting about my kids "I heard your kids didnae eat anything, but they've never had a problem", "I heard your kids didnt like walking anywhere".

Its just a massive control thing. The two faced shit she posts as well. She actively tried to get us to spend less time in Scotland, then when the wife posted "Had such an amazing time, wish we'd had more time in Scotland" she had the nerve to post "I always said you needed more time in Scotland".

She's conpletely tapped.
post #10917 of 12454
I'd be charmed to know why there's larger than normal ants crawling up out of my shower drain. There aren't those little fuckers that show up if you leave food out (I don't leave nasty shit around). These are BIG motherfuckers. This feels like the beginning to one of those 70s animals gone crazy movies..
post #10918 of 12454
Last summer I found a little teeny scorpion in the shower with me. Hopped right out, grabbed that sucker swaddled up in toilet paper, and flushed it away with the water still running.

Then I felt bad for it so I drew a little cartoon to remember it by.
post #10919 of 12454
I woke up to a tickling sensation on my back and legs once and threw the sheets off myself to discover like a half dozen scorpions in the bed with me. That wasn't in this house. I burnt that house down obviously..
post #10920 of 12454

We get those wee scorpions here every summer, but I only ever see one at a time. I'd still rather find them than Palmetto bugs.

post #10921 of 12454

I lived in an 'international' (Hispanic) community and in the cheap apartment block I was in, the flat above me was inhabited by 2 families. They would bring in bulk veggies/fruit in crates filled with sawdust like packing material and apparently Palmetto bugs. Looking like really large roaches, they flew, made chattering noises and had no problem running all over me in my bed. Couldn't get out of that apartment quick enuff. Had mice and ants too. Drokking nightmare.

post #10922 of 12454

And this is why I live in England. I have the same chance of waking in a bed of scorpions as naming which two teams played in the most recent Superbowl. 

 

One of them was probably the Rifles or the Cowboys. Or something. I dunno.

post #10923 of 12454

That there isn't an NFL team named the Rifles is mildly surprising.

post #10924 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post
 

And this is why I live in England. I have the same chance of waking in a bed of scorpions as naming which two teams played in the most recent Superbowl. 

 

One of them was probably the Rifles or the Cowboys. Or something. I dunno.

 

And yet I am still so paranoid and irrational that I refuse to walk across heathland or through long grass in case for fear of meeting an adder. Apparently the only countries in which I would feel safe are Iceland, Ireland, New Zealand and, possibly, Vatican City.

post #10925 of 12454

Psk. Nobody has died from an adder bite in the UK in twenty years. You're more likely to get killed by one of the cast of Black Adder.

post #10926 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post
 

Psk. Nobody has died from an adder bite in the UK in twenty years. You're more likely to get killed by one of the cast of Black Adder.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jhp1608 View Post
 

 

And yet I am still so paranoid and irrational....

post #10927 of 12454

Stop being paranoid and irrational, JHP!!!

 

And keep an eye out for Tony Robinson's car next time you cross the road. 

post #10928 of 12454

One of the biggest threats from nature in the UK is Lyme Disease. It's caught from infected ticks that latch on to you in long grass or heather etc. The drink your blood, infect you then drop off when they're full.

 

The effects go up to meningitis and nerve damage and paralysis.

 

One of my good friends has a friend who was very active in the business community, had her own company etc, doing very well but now spends her days bed bound or in a wheelchair because of LD. It's not treatable on the nhs so she has to raise cash for her treatment in the US and go by boat because she can't fly. It seriously fucks you up.

 

So if you ever got rambling or whatever in long grass or heather, check yourself properly for ticks when you get home - those fuckers will fuck you up.

post #10929 of 12454

Oh great. Something else for me to worry about. Thanks Elvis! 

post #10930 of 12454

When I was rowing at university, we were warned to cover any cuts or grazes before coming into contact with the water in case we contracted Weill's Disease, an infection transmitted through animal urine and which can contaminate even flowing recreational water. It's an issue for any rowers, river sailors and other suburban water sports enthusiasts.

 

In other words, it's nature's way of keeping the upper middle class numbers down. It's not very efficient though: only two to three dead per year.

 

Weill's Disease is one of the reasons people are advised against swimming in the River Thames. That and whirlpools.

post #10931 of 12454
Are there no snakes in England??

Snakes are the bane of my existence. Texas gives Australia a run for it's money in the "things that can kill you a few feet from your doorstep." Louisiana too. The rattlesnakes in particular. In the summer....moving a tarp or a trash bag or what have you...especially one that's been there for a while. That's just asking for a rattler to surprise you. Fuck.....that shit. Gators in the lakes. Snakes on the land. Wild hogs. Wild cats. Coyotes. Swarms of life sucking vermin..
post #10932 of 12454

Yeah, but you also have flamethrowers for the same reason.

post #10933 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post

Are there no snakes in England??
 

 

Yes. They're all in the Houses of Parliament. 

post #10934 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post

Yeah, but you also have flamethrowers for the same reason.
I don't!
Nor guns.
I'm a bad Texan frown.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post

Yes. They're all in the Houses of Parliament. 
This is why I love you..
post #10935 of 12454

We have that in the US and Scorpions and Tarantula's.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post
 

One of the biggest threats from nature in the UK is Lyme Disease. It's caught from infected ticks that latch on to you in long grass or heather etc. The drink your blood, infect you then drop off when they're full.

 

The effects go up to meningitis and nerve damage and paralysis.

 

One of my good friends has a friend who was very active in the business community, had her own company etc, doing very well but now spends her days bed bound or in a wheelchair because of LD. It's not treatable on the nhs so she has to raise cash for her treatment in the US and go by boat because she can't fly. It seriously fucks you up.

 

So if you ever got rambling or whatever in long grass or heather, check yourself properly for ticks when you get home - those fuckers will fuck you up.

 

We have that in the US as well, and Scorpions and Tarantula's.

 

Yay 'Murica.

 

When I came here I would take my kids on nature walks to see what I would call Zoo animals. Basically, stuff you had to go to a zoo to see in England. We once saw a cluster/herd of Tarantula's crossing a path on a walk. I wish I had a flame thrower. I never went to that park again. 

post #10936 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post


I don't!
Nor guns.
I'm a bad Texan frown.gif
This is why I love you..


I hate guns. But I also love guns. I think if I moved to America it would only be so I could buy a gun. But I hate them - the thought of killing someone abhors me.

 

But guns, they're just so American. The fact you can just buy a gun boggles my mind.

 

I love them as things. From a distance, to look at. But the pain and trauma they cause makes them seem such evil objects.

 

But I do have a favourite...

 

Ruger Blackhawk...

 

 

A little bit of an old-West look to it. I'd put a scope on this and have it in a low-slung leg holster and mosey into town thinking I was Han Solo. I'd be dead in about 3 minutes.

post #10937 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonathan Parker View Post
 

When I came here I would take my kids on nature walks to see what I would call Zoo animals. Basically, stuff you had to go to a zoo to see in England. We once saw a cluster/herd of Tarantula's crossing a path on a walk. I wish I had a flame thrower. I never went to that park again. 

 

There's a though - what animals from the UK would you find in a zoo elsewhere?

 

We've got nothing here. It's all crappy herbivores and badgers and shit.

post #10938 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post
 

But guns, they're just so American. The fact you can just buy a gun boggles my mind.

 

 

This is what boggles my mind:

 

 

To the average American, that's probably completely normal. For someone like me who has never walked into a public area and seen people carrying weapons, that's just *mind explodes*.

post #10939 of 12454
One of the freakiest things I ever saw was at South Padre Island, TX. A large amount of crabs were crossing a highway. I believe the scientific term is a "shitload." Some of em were BIG. I've been attacked by everything. From bats to copperheads (these particularly suck because you can't see em till you done been fanged) to jellyfish. Some people are afraid of dogs but dogs ain't shit. Even a pit bull. You can choke their air off just like a person. You get tore up chewed up. Then you go to the ER get cleaned up, sewed up, get your shots....go about your day..
post #10940 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post
 

 

This is what boggles my mind:

 

 

To the average American, that's probably completely normal. 

 

It's not, really. Normal people would rightfully freak out seeing assholes like this.

 

The sad thing in America is that if those two guys were black, they'd probably never make it out of the store.

post #10941 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post
 

 

This is what boggles my mind:

 

 

To the average American, that's probably completely normal. For someone like me who has never walked into a public area and seen people carrying weapons, that's just *mind explodes*.

I still get freaked out when I go to Waterloo Station and the police wandering around with automatic weapons, never mind some chap picking up a sandwich at a deli counter.

post #10942 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post
 

 

There's a though - what animals from the UK would you find in a zoo elsewhere?

 

We've got nothing here. It's all crappy herbivores and badgers and shit.

 

Wild haggis

 

post #10943 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post
 

 

There's a though - what animals from the UK would you find in a zoo elsewhere?

 

We've got nothing here. It's all crappy herbivores and badgers and shit.

Badgers are pretty hardcore.

 

#badgerwatch

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post
 


I hate guns. But I also love guns. I think if I moved to America it would only be so I could buy a gun. But I hate them - the thought of killing someone abhors me.

 

 

Yep, I'm like you, but I have a Glock 22 and a Ruger American Pistol (?).

 

 

 

I go to the range mostly, but they can get annoying. I did attach to a bunch of dudes that owned land and would go shooting, they were super right wing. I could deal with it generally ( I live in Texas, so that's pretty much a fact of life even though Dallas ain't that bad)but they started calling themselves the "infidels" and had T-shirts made up with the words "Fuck Muslims" in Arabic. So I fucked off. 

post #10944 of 12454
That pic above? That is NOT a normal sight to the average American. At least not this average American. That's two assholes pushing their "constitutional rights" to their absolute breaking point. Cunts they're called, in y'all's neck of the woods I believe.

I'm VERY proficient with all manner of firearm. My interest in them and use for them ended when I was discharged from the military. Once you've seen up close and personal what these weapons are capable of, well....I don't need em in my life anymore. I'm plenty dangerous without a gun if I'm threatened. Another gun just means more bullets flying around and the very real possibility of innocents getting caught in the crossfire.

I'd bet good money that people that proudly wear them around like that haven't served a day in their life or had any formal training whatsoever. THAT'S the real scary shit. Uneducated paranoid assholes who have the 2nd Amendment tattooed right under their rebel flag tat..
post #10945 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonathan Parker View Post
 

Badgers are pretty hardcore.

 

#badgerwatch

 

 

 

Yep, I'm like you, but I have a Glock 22 and a Ruger American Pistol (?).

 

 

 

I go to the range mostly, but they can get annoying. I did attach to a bunch of dudes that owned land and would go shooting, they were super right wing. I could deal with it generally ( I live in Texas, so that's pretty much a fact of life even though Dallas ain't that bad)but they started calling themselves the "infidels" and had T-shirts made up with the words "Fuck Muslims" in Arabic. So I fucked off. 

 

I decided to learn to shoot about ten years ago, and after a bit of research found a gun club in the City of London. It was an underground range, beneath an upscale housing estate called the Barbican, and had all the typical stuff you tend to find in small clubs, like a sitting area, wood-panelled bar and photos of club members on overseas trips, meeting celebs and generally extolling the feelings of camaraderie and fellowship the club members believed themselves to represent. I was a member for a few months before I decided to hang out with a few of them in the bar after pinging away with a bolt action .22. The topic got round to overseas tours, and they decided to show me some photos. They had been to Germany, you see, and were really proud of the fact they were able to fire off a lot of weapons illegal in the UK. 

 

Like Schmeissers. And Lugers. And other weapons of the Second World War. Whilst playing dress up as Nazis. They particularly wanted me to know how much they valued the freedom to be able to show me pictures their reciprocal club members couldn't hang in their club room in Germany.

 

Yep, that was the last time I went along.

 

The thing I did take away from that curious three months was just how insanely powerful guns are, in terms of the force generated by firing them in contrast with the forces we ordinarily experience on a day to day basis. Even the bolt action .22 I was using. It's both empowering and sobering.

post #10946 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post
 

 

This is what boggles my mind:

 

 

To the average American, that's probably completely normal. For someone like me who has never walked into a public area and seen people carrying weapons, that's just *mind explodes*.

 

Plot twist: They're picking out the cake for their wedding. 

post #10947 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by jhp1608 View Post
 

 

I decided to learn to shoot about ten years ago, and after a bit of research found a gun club in the City of London. It was an underground range, beneath an upscale housing estate called the Barbican, and had all the typical stuff you tend to find in small clubs, like a sitting area, wood-panelled bar and photos of club members on overseas trips, meeting celebs and generally extolling the feelings of camaraderie and fellowship the club members believed themselves to represent. I was a member for a few months before I decided to hang out with a few of them in the bar after pinging away with a bolt action .22. The topic got round to overseas tours, and they decided to show me some photos. They had been to Germany, you see, and were really proud of the fact they were able to fire off a lot of weapons illegal in the UK. 

 

Like Schmeissers. And Lugers. And other weapons of the Second World War. Whilst playing dress up as Nazis. They particularly wanted me to know how much they valued the freedom to be able to show me pictures their reciprocal club members couldn't hang in their club room in Germany.

 

Yep, that was the last time I went along.

 

The thing I did take away from that curious three months was just how insanely powerful guns are, in terms of the force generated by firing them in contrast with the forces we ordinarily experience on a day to day basis. Even the bolt action .22 I was using. It's both empowering and sobering.


I joined a gun club about 10 years ago, jut to satiate my desire to ping off a few rounds and see what it was all like.

 

It was without doubt one of the most boring fucking things I've ever done. I mean, I wasn't expecting to be rolling around behind barrels, popping up and firing a couple of rounds then commando rolling away... but the whole thing with the range etiquette and safety just put a proper crimp in the whole well I'm just going to stand here and fire off a few hundred rounds then fuck off back home. Obviously you need gun safety and have to take it seriously but it was just tedious. And everyone was wearing cardigans.

post #10948 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post
 


I joined a gun club about 10 years ago, jut to satiate my desire to ping off a few rounds and see what it was all like.

 

It was without doubt one of the most boring fucking things I've ever done. I mean, I wasn't expecting to be rolling around behind barrels, popping up and firing a couple of rounds the commando rolling away... but the whole thing with the range etiquette and safety just put a proper crimp in the whole well I'm just going to stand here and fire off a few hundred rounds then fuck off back home. Obviously you need gun safety and have to take it seriously but it was just tedious.

I get that.

 

I probably have more patience for that sort of thing, and the fact that the far wall of the range was heavily padded to prevent ricochets that even off a low calibre rifle could pose a danger to you standing all the way back at the other end made me more accepting of how disciplined the whole process was. Then again, a lot of the people around me seemed to get off on how big a deal it all was to have all those rules, and by extension, how big a deal they were for imposing them and following them.

 

ETA: the closest you get to rolling around barrels, popping off a few rounds and commando rolling away is paintball!

 

Also, I seem to recall on top of the monthly cost, the ammo wasn't cheap. Plus I had to go through a whole Home Office check with mates counter-signing my application and giving me a severe case of side eye.

post #10949 of 12454
Quote:
 It's all crappy herbivores and badgers and shit.

Badgers? We don' need no stinking badgers!

 

 

(sorry, had to do it..)

post #10950 of 12454
Quote:
Originally Posted by jhp1608 View Post
 

Also, I seem to recall on top of the monthly cost, the ammo wasn't cheap. Plus I had to go through a whole Home Office check with mates counter-signing my application and giving me a severe case of side eye.

 

Yeah, I had to go through some sort of vetting process. I've got no idea who countersigned for me. They made such a big deal of it at the club - how important it was to not lose the membership card and not abuse its privileges etc. They were really down on that. So it came as some surprise that when I left after about 2.5 weeks they never got in touch to find out where I was or what I was doing. I just never went back.

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