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Tired Shit - Page 234

post #11651 of 12378
Alas, the Jackson Telegraph is not a real news source. My apologies, but not really.
post #11652 of 12378
I've had the runner's trots more times than I'd care to remember. The worst part is, you need to haul ass home before the controlled demolition is triggered, but the faster you move, the more you feel like you're about to trigger the demolition. But if you walk, you're definitely never going to make it.

I always make it. One day, though, my luck will run out. And I will run into the sea.
post #11653 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

I've had the runner's trots more times than I'd care to remember. The worst part is, you need to haul ass home before the controlled demolition is triggered, but the faster you move, the more you feel like you're about to trigger the demolition. But if you walk, you're definitely never going to make it.

I always make it. One day, though, my luck will run out. And I will run into the sea.

 

Bradito on that fateful day:  [WARNING NSFL/GROSS]:   https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Kk6QZY5G_b8/hqdefault.jpg

post #11654 of 12378
This is why I never do those dorky races.
post #11655 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post

Bradito on that fateful day:  [WARNING NSFL/GROSS]:   https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Kk6QZY5G_b8/hqdefault.jpg
Oooookaaaaay...fuck that..
post #11656 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post
Hey, at least take me out to dinner first.

 

I tried that. You still didn't put out.

post #11657 of 12378
Nobody's going to comment on how Elvis shits in the nude?
post #11658 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

I've had the runner's trots more times than I'd care to remember. The worst part is, you need to haul ass home before the controlled demolition is triggered, but the faster you move, the more you feel like you're about to trigger the demolition. But if you walk, you're definitely never going to make it.

I always make it. One day, though, my luck will run out. And I will run into the sea.

 

Few months ago I had something funny with my tummy, and a long bus ride home from work, with a convenient traffic jam, proved your theory correct. Time is luck. And my luck ran out the moment I stepped out the bus.

 

And the real tired shit-part is that I vaguely recall similar "let's share our shit-pants stories" discussion earlier on this very thread.

post #11659 of 12378
Thor (of ROCK AND ROLL NIGHTMARE fame) has a glorious song called "Shit the Pants" but I can't find a clip.
post #11660 of 12378

First world tired shit: Lovefilm by Post coming to an end. I was one of the dwindling numbers of poeple who used the DVD through the post service to watch films that are infrequently available through mainstream providers and aren't cheap on the secondhand market. It doesn't surprise me that Amazon are killing it, and I can try to find a way of spending my £8 a month on another service or buying DVDs cheap when I see them, but at about six films a month it was incredible value.

post #11661 of 12378
This is first world problems kind of stuff, but it frustrated me to no end. I first got an iPad in the fall of 2014, it was an experiment for me. I wanted a device that was more than a kindle, but less than a laptop to fool around on a long trip. Come to present day and I find that my iPad has become almost exclusively the device I use to go online, but since I use it every day the battery life has dwindled down from 9 hours a charge to maybe one. After finding out online that replacing your own iPad's battery takes a mind numbing 73 steps I got a external battery pack and used that for the last six months.

Then on August 3rd I got my own stem cells injected into two torn disks in my lower back have been told by the doctor that I had to avoid anything that could change my internal body temperature or increase my adreniline levels for the next six weeks because it can negatively impact the stem cells as they go through the process of differentiation and (hopefully) turn into cartilage cells. This means no daily visits to the gym, no icing my back, no activities that cause me to raise a sweat, and as a result I'm pretty much housebound for the next six weeks with nothing to do. So I decide to treat myself and order a new iPad from Costco's website, just because they give me a nice 90 day return period to decide if I ultimately don't really need it.

I get it and it feels like its enough of an upgrade to keep because of increased speed, battery life, increased streaming video resolution, less 'a problem repeatedly occurred on this page errors' and gifs actually play at normal speeds rather than 1 frame per second. I transfer everything over from my old iPad onto it and then decided to take advantage of Apple's trade-in/recycling program and take in my old iPad for credit I could use toward purchasing a case and the Smart Keyboard. I've been telling myself that if I'm stuck on my ass all day then maybe I should use that as motivation to write and carrying around an iPad with a keyboard is a lot more appealing than carrying around my 2011 laptop that always needs to be plugged in since its battery has long given up the ghost. I have the habit of wandering around when writing and anything that requires constant power just gets in the way.

So a little more than a week after getting the closest thing I ever had to surgery, I take my pain pills and go to my local Apple Store which is located in the busiest mall south of Los Angeles. There they tell me that despite all appearances on their website, I can't trade my old iPad in at their store for credit toward accessories. They tell me their system requires them to enter the serial number of the device I'm trading in as well as the serial number of the device I'm getting. So unless I'm trading it toward a new iPad/iPhone/mac/watch, I can't trade it in at a retail location. In other words it is impossible for them to give store credit for the trade-in, and instead their system pretty much treats my old iPad as an oversized coupon that gives me $200 off of a new device.

Even when I brought up the page of their website on a computer in their store which says nothing about trading it in toward only a few specific devices, but instead says 'credit toward a purchase in store', they said they couldn't do anything and by that point it had been half an hour and my back was on fire and I had to leave the mall because I could see I wasn't going to get anywhere unless I kept arguing for at least another twenty minutes to escalate it to the point where I could talk to the manager and maybe get it resolved, and it simply wasn't worth enduring that much pain. So now my only options are to return my new one to Costco then go back to the retail Apple Store to trade in for a new iPad or wait the several weeks it takes to do the trade in through the mail for a gift card, which defeats the whole purpose of me trying to use these next four weeks to try to get into the habit of writing.
post #11662 of 12378

here's the tablet you need -

post #11663 of 12378
I type much faster than I write by hand and it seems like all submissions now require the writing be in digital form. Also, like I said, first world problems.
post #11664 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by jhp1608 View Post
 

First world tired shit: Lovefilm by Post coming to an end. I was one of the dwindling numbers of poeple who used the DVD through the post service to watch films that are infrequently available through mainstream providers and aren't cheap on the secondhand market. It doesn't surprise me that Amazon are killing it, and I can try to find a way of spending my £8 a month on another service or buying DVDs cheap when I see them, but at about six films a month it was incredible value.


Cinema Paradiso is still going strong and they have quite a good reputation.

post #11665 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by flint View Post
 


Cinema Paradiso is still going strong and they have quite a good reputation.

 

Ooh, I haven't heard of them. I shall look them up. Thanks.

post #11666 of 12378

Tired shit: People not understanding the difference between "needs" and "wants" or their constant need to explain and/or excuse their choices or behavior, as if it wasn't clear that they simply made a conscious choice to do whatever b/c that's just what they wanted to do. 

post #11667 of 12378
They must be forced to read a book on screenwriting.

You see, a "want" is a character's conscious goal, what he's actively trying to achieve.

But a "need," that's something he's initially unaware of, but vital to completing his growth arc.

Often, one complicates the other!
post #11668 of 12378
Quote:
 Tired shit: People not understanding the difference between "needs" and "wants" or their constant need to explain and/or excuse their choices or behavior, as if it wasn't clear that they simply made a conscious choice to do whatever b/c that's just what they wanted to do.

OK..it seems that was driven by some sort of backstory we're not privy to...care to elaborate so we can relate?

post #11669 of 12378

No.

post #11670 of 12378

E-Sports. Who in their right mind thought that not only is watching somebody else play a videogame entertaining, you should broadcast that crap on TV? I get that the E-athletes (sp?) are devoted and train hard, but it's still boring and incomprehensible as shit.

post #11671 of 12378

funny, cause watching someone else play is my experience with video games. I don't like games. Of any kind. I don't even play emotional or mind games with other humans. No card games, no board games, no foos ball, or any outside sports. The only 'games' I've played were pinball machines, and I think it was the purty lights and sounds and finesse of the machine it's self. Watching people on TV playing would be interesting even to me for only a few minutes tho, so I get yer point.

post #11672 of 12378

A preface: this is not anywhere near the level of tired shit that is often posted here. In fact, this is me needlessly bitching. Just returned back to my beloved Brooklyn after a 4-day annual camping trip up at Lake George in northeastern New York state (Finger Lakes region).  Car is finally unpacked. I. Hate. Camping. There's nothing I enjoy about it. I'm a city boy. 

 

Tired shit - seeing thousands of posts on CHUD to catch up on after four days of being unplugged.  Looking at texts for the first time and seeing last night's GoT episode spoiled. Seeing e-mails that spoil the Defenders show I've been waiting for. Sonofabitch. Realizing just how many mosquito bites my body is festooned with.

 

 

Fucking camping.

post #11673 of 12378

Boy, are you going to be surprised when you hear what Joss Whedon's been up to, Neil! 

post #11674 of 12378
Tired shit, leaving Pittsburgh for a five hour drive to discover the exhaust flex on my car is broken.

Five hours of muffler-less BRAAAAAAPBRAAAAP
post #11675 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post
 

No.

 

But we want you to.

 

Need you to.

post #11676 of 12378

Not really tired, per se, but odd: I just got a call from an unknown caller, and the number was (local area code)-555-1234.

 

555-1234.

 

Am I in a movie?

post #11677 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer View Post
 

Not really tired, per se, but odd: I just got a call from an unknown caller, and the number was (local area code)-555-1234.

 

555-1234.

 

Am I in a movie?

 

Look outside.  If you see the same pedestrians, bicyclists, and cars circling your block, you might be in a TV show.  Also, be wary of neighbors stressing the importance of Ovaltine in loud voices.

post #11678 of 12378
Did you send in five proofs of purchase off boxes of Apple Jacks 24 and a half years ago? Was it Jack Slater calling to tell you you'd won two free tickets to see Last Action Hero (tickets expire 7-30-93)?
post #11679 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichaelM View Post

But we want you to.

Need you to.

We got-ta-got-ta-got-ta-got-ta have ya!
post #11680 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer View Post
 

Not really tired, per se, but odd: I just got a call from an unknown caller, and the number was (local area code)-555-1234.

 

555-1234.

 

Am I in a movie?

 

This reminds me...

 

I am really good on recognizing faces.  I have an issue with names sometimes but rarely with faces.  It's weird when you run into people that you don't know...AGAIN.

 

Case in point: we went to the Renaissance Festival yesterday, staying there from (roughly) 11:30am until 5pm.  Afterwards, we ran and did some grocery shopping.  While at Whole Foods, we spotted some people who looked familiar.  It took us a minute or so, but then we realized that we were standing next to them while we were watching the Caber Toss at the Ren Fest.

 

This kind of thing happens all of the time.

post #11681 of 12378
This isn't quite the same thing....but that post reminded me of something. I've always been told that everyone has a twin. Not a "blood sibling" but someone out there who you've never met who looks startling like you. I found out that mine, apparently, lives around my hometown. It's not a big town at all but I've never run into this person. But on two different occasions, somebody that I'd never met before has mistaken me for somebody named Steve. Both times I've forgotten to ask for a last name. And both times it was up close. Like...they WALKED UP TO ME and STILL called me Steve. The freakiest one was in the grocery store. This girl (20s? Maybe?) came up to me and was like "Hey Steve!" And I looked around and it became apparent she was speaking to me. Walked right up to me, not a foot away and was still like "uhhh, he-llloo...Steve! Why are you acting so weird?" Literally a foot away. I was like "I'm sorry...I don't know you. My name isn't Steve." And she started seriously getting aggravated. I had to show her my drivers license to convince her. And then she was really weirded out (and so was I). I've still never run into the mysterious "Steve." Feels like some Dark Half shit.

ETA: Not that it matters...but it was Scott...not Steve..
post #11682 of 12378

Ray, when some random girl in her twenties, walks up to you and asks if your name is Steve, you say "Yes!".

post #11683 of 12378
Not when your girlfriend is in the same store you don't!
post #11684 of 12378

I'd like to state to the court and those present: I have not been to Texas in over 30 years, and I do NOT know and have never touched that young lady.

post #11685 of 12378
And here I thought my occasional bouts of precognition and third-person experiences were weird - Fraid's got a full-fledged doppelganger running around out there!
post #11686 of 12378

Fraid, I joked about you Hulking out a few pages back. Perhaps you Hulk out into Steve. Or maybe it's like that Christian Slater show a few years back where a normal everyday guy discovers that, when he blacks out, he becomes a top secret agent. You could be the Texas Ranger version of that guy.

post #11687 of 12378
My best friend Matt has a doppleganger too so I'm told in or around a town about 60 miles west. I've never seen the guy but he's run into people before as well that looked him dead in his eye and thought he was this other person. What the hell, man. Texas is too damn big to have doubles of the same old ugly people running around lol..
post #11688 of 12378

Would be awesome if Matt's doppelganger and Steve were somehow best friends.

post #11689 of 12378

The cross dimensional weaknesses caused by the Solar Eclipse have caused your mirror selves to be transported here. 

 

You must fight and consume the loser. It is ordained. 

post #11690 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post

Would be awesome if Matt's doppelganger and Steve were somehow best friends.
Yeah I'd be ready for the funny farm if I found that out. That's like some Stephen King shit for real..
post #11691 of 12378

Tired Shit: Brought my car in for some minor work (5th time this year so far!) and I decide to take a walk around the Industrial area the car shoppe is based in. 

 

I see empty beer cans everywhere: Miller Lite. Bud Lite. Michelob lite. All in 64 ounce cans. 

 

Oh yeah, and just a few minutes ago, the bag of Newman's Own Organic Popcorn exploded into flames in my Microwave instead of popping into a delicious snack.

 

Thanks Obama!

post #11692 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post
 

Boy, are you going to be surprised when you hear what Joss Whedon's been up to, Neil! 

 

Ha! Yes indeed, finally got around to catching up in that thread.  Oof.

post #11693 of 12378
Tired shit: signature confirmation on parcel delivery. Every time I make a purchase over $100 online, the seller inevitably ships it with a signature required for delivery, and every time, the courier drops by in the middle of the workday, while I (like nearly everybody else) am at work, finds that I'm not at home (due to being at work in the middle of the goddamn workday,) and leaves a notice informing me that they didn't deliver my item (BECAUSE I WAS AT WORK.) Then I have to go through the rigamarole of making sure a redelivery is scheduled/I sign the door tag/whatever the hell else they require, and if the stars align, I get it merely a day later than it should've been here.

Fuck that noise.
post #11694 of 12378
I hate that too. Can you have it delivered to work?

ETA: I'm assuming it's not anything from the dark web.
post #11695 of 12378

Not to continually praise Amazon in this thread but one of the best things they ever introduced is Amazon Lockers. I have to walk past one to and from the train station, and it's sooooooo convenient for me to pick up stuff on the way home from work. 

post #11696 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lightning Slim View Post

I hate that too. Can you have it delivered to work?

ETA: I'm assuming it's not anything from the dark web.
I probably could (it's bass guitar pickups, and my workplace is relaxed enough that they don't even mind if I bring in the bass in question and noodle around on my downtime.) But I just know that if I did that it'd get there an hour after my shift ends.
post #11697 of 12378

Single woman, sitting at a bar, sipping a pint of surprisingly good porter.  And approached by not one, but three guys asking "where is your man?" and "why are you alone?"

 

If these are to be considered pick up lines, they don't work.  Because I went on to sipping my second pint, alone, as I told  them thats what I wanted to be that evening. 

post #11698 of 12378
post #11699 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by mondguy View Post


Yeah, like that. This happens in real life.  Its stunning how many guys like that exist and will approach women in a bar, just like that. In that way. 

post #11700 of 12378

Having seen photos of smug and her pasttime, I'd be afraid of this happening if she was approached at the bar uninvited:

 

 

Although with her bare hands.


Edited by TzuDohNihm - 8/24/17 at 10:06am
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