I bought a Boston Market grilled chicken salad last Thursday. Since they're pretty big, I only finished half, and left the rest in the fridge. I didn't work on Friday.
On Monday, I go to the fridge in anticipation of my delicious salad, but I find that the bowl is missing. I walk to the trash, and, sure enough, there's my half-full salad bowl. In a bout of cowardly rage, I run to my computer and print out a one-page banner that reads "KEEP YOUR MITTS OFF MY GODDAMN EIGHT-DOLLAR SALAD YOU FUCKS!! THERE ARE FIVE FRIDGES ON THIS FLOOR ALONE. THANKS FOR NOT BEING LAZY ASSHOLES."
So today, somebody trolled my real-life bait thread by scrawling the following beneath my message:
"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T USE THE FRIDGE AS YOUR PERSONAL GROCERY!"
And then she signed it with her initials: "K.S."
The thing is, there are TWO women with the initials K.S. in this particular lab. It's either Kelly or Karen. I'll bet it's Karen. Fuck it, they're both on my shit list now.