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Tired Shit - Page 174

post #8651 of 12378
He also recommended Immodium. I had some Pepto today. And it didn't help at all.
post #8652 of 12378
Brad, have you considered that this has apparently been going on since the release of Suicide Squad?
post #8653 of 12378
Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSaxon View Post

 

I tried watching The Avengers with her once, and she just kept asking "Who are these people?" about the main characters. I told her that Stan Lee would be disappointed with her, and she said "Stanley who?". 

 

I really, really want a Podcast that has Saxon, Saxon's Mom, nooj, and nooj's mom all watching movies. It'll consist of the voices of two very nice and deeply confused older women, the nonstop cackling of one punk youngster, and the very reserved sound of British shame deepening exponentially every minute.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

I've blown mud about four times today.

 

Totally using this phrase as often as possible now.

post #8654 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by commodorejohn View Post

Brad, have you considered that this has apparently been going on since the time you saw Suicide Squad?

I didn't see it until Saturday, when I thought I was doing better. Then I sharted during breakfast the following morning.
post #8655 of 12378

The Leto's Revenge!

post #8656 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by commodorejohn View Post

Brad, have you considered that this has apparently been going on since the time you saw Suicide Squad?
I didn't see it until Saturday, when I thought I was doing better. Then I sharted during breakfast the following morning.
You're right. Clearly this was a preemptive warning from your body.
post #8657 of 12378
Now I'm terrified of farting. I don't want to do anymore laundry.
post #8658 of 12378

This one's for you, Bradito.

 

post #8659 of 12378
No man should ever live in fear or his own farts.

I hope you feel better soon, Brad.
post #8660 of 12378

This might have been brought up before (maybe even by me?)

 

Back in the olden days here in the US when the internet was a small baby, one of the ways that people 'got online' was via AOL.

 

Now, IIRC, access was time based....you got so many minutes/hours per month and had to pay if you went over that amount...do I have that right.

 

Not soon after, there was the rise of independent, local ISPs that didn't do the hourly/time based access. You paid a flat fee per month for unlimited access.

 

Then the great mergers happened. I remember my local ISP, got swallowed up by another semi-local ISP, then that one got bought up by a regional ISP....jump forward a couple decades, that original small 'mom & pop' ISP is now AT&T and there are little to no local ISP's.

 

My 'tired shit' is why are we now back to this pseudo-AOL pay scheme? Sure it's by how much 'data' you use now but these 'plans' are complete bullshit IMO. 

 

The ISP/cellphone providers are just using this method of access to screw over users....at least here in the US. I remember reading some articles awhile back that the internet/cellphone prices in Europe/Asia/etc are considerably lower than what we are forced to pay here in the US....

 

Anyone think that this business model is fair?

post #8661 of 12378
That's the power of local monopolies, baby. (See also: all the ways your local airport fucks you over, because what are you gonna do, drive out to Des Moines and fly out of there?) Good thing the FCC got on top of that with all that ballyhoo a couple years back-OH WAIT.
post #8662 of 12378
Tired shit - yoyo weight-loss/gain.

What the fuck 40? Ever since I hit the big 4-O I'm up and down.

Been invited to a few weddings and christenings etc over the last couple of years so need to dust down my old suits every now and then.

Do they still fit me? Do they arse. Either the jackets are too large or the trousers too small. I had to buy a new suit six weeks ago for a wedding as my old suit was to tight. Got another wedding in two weeks - tried my new suit on again... It's too fucking big now. The jacket is hanging off me now that I've lost a bit more weight.

So I've got a jacket from an old suit that fits and a pair of kecks from a new suit that fit. But not a complete suit that fits. So because my body is an asshole I have to buy another suit that will probably not fit by Christmas.

Might just go in a fucking kaftan.
post #8663 of 12378
I started taking my prescription and slept for over 12 hours last night. This morning, I farted without shitting the bed. I'm on the road to recovery.
post #8664 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post

Tired shit - yoyo weight-loss/gain.

What the fuck 40? Ever since I hit the big 4-O I'm up and down.

Been invited to a few weddings and christenings etc over the last couple of years so need to dust down my old suits every now and then.

Do they still fit me? Do they arse. Either the jackets are too large or the trousers too small. I had to buy a new suit six weeks ago for a wedding as my old suit was to tight. Got another wedding in two weeks - tried my new suit on again... It's too fucking big now. The jacket is hanging off me now that I've lost a bit more weight.

So I've got a jacket from an old suit that fits and a pair of kecks from a new suit that fit. But not a complete suit that fits. So because my body is an asshole I have to buy another suit that will probably not fit by Christmas.

Might just go in a fucking kaftan.

Utili-Kilt.
post #8665 of 12378

Maybe Bradito should wear a kilt.  Probably less laundry and more just the occasional calf hose down.

post #8666 of 12378
Not a bad idea.
post #8667 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

I started taking my prescription and slept for over 12 hours last night. This morning, I farted without shitting the bed.

I think I mastered this by about the age of two.

Congratulations.
post #8668 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post


I think I mastered this by about the age of two.

Congratulations.

Whoa.

post #8669 of 12378
Well, Stale Elvis is Mr. Perfect!
post #8670 of 12378
Got the clean sheets to prove it too.
post #8671 of 12378
Pics or GTFO.
post #8672 of 12378
Just buy brown sheets!
post #8673 of 12378
Anyway, I think I'm over this stomach virus, no thanks to Stale Elvis.
post #8674 of 12378

But are you over Macho Grande?

post #8675 of 12378
Time to celebrate with some chili and about a dozen hot links..
post #8676 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTRan View Post
 

 

 

My 'tired shit' is why are we now back to this pseudo-AOL pay scheme? Sure it's by how much 'data' you use now but these 'plans' are complete bullshit IMO. 

 

The ISP/cellphone providers are just using this method of access to screw over users....at least here in the US. I remember reading some articles awhile back that the internet/cellphone prices in Europe/Asia/etc are considerably lower than what we are forced to pay here in the US....

 

Anyone think that this business model is fair?

I love the recent Will Forte AT&T "unlimited data" plan where if you read the fine print in the commercial it says "after 22G of data usage AT&T may slow speeds". 

 

 

post #8677 of 12378

Here's tired shit; I struggled with posting this, but I am frustrated and I need to just put it down in writing to try and make sense of it. I've gotten a couple of Facebook messages and a phone call telling me that my family and I should watch my back because my dad "is a sick pervert" -- all anonymous thus far.

I first learned, through these threats, that my dad was arrested two weeks ago after being caught in a prostitution sting operation. After talking to my dad, I discovered that somehow my dad managed to obtain the number to what he thought was a dating service several months ago. He talked to the "woman" on the other side of the conversation for a bit and realized she charged for her services. My dad turned it down.

Fast forward a couple of months. My dad's roommate moves out and my dad starts up a relationship with a woman -- a woman that sold him a complete kitchen remodel at Home Depot. It was tumultuous, to say the least. My father is a hopeless romantic, very naive and easily manipulated. It was apparent this woman took him for a ride, but my dad fell very hard for her. It lasted about a month before she hit the brakes and literally moved out of the state overnight. It threw my dad's world upside down. He's been severely lonely, depressed, and confused for months.

Fast forward again to two weeks ago. My dad gets a message out of the blue from last year's mystery "woman." She asks him what he's up to and he tells her he has no plans. She invites him to the hotel she's at. $50 for a blowjob and possibly just someone to hang out with for the night. Desperate, my dad obliges. He drives to the hotel, and the moment he hops out he's rushed by cops and arrested. He was charged with Patronizing a Prostitute. In Colorado, that fine can be relatively steep and if found guilty, it could also result in jail time. He was also all over the local paper's front page. Picture, name, and accusation. Friends and family found out about this through the paper.

Currently, my father is waiting for the response to the plea bargain his attorney is working on. My father did something boneheaded, sure, but I'm trying to make sense of how this was a legal and honest way to combat prostitution. However, that's a different discussion. If my dad goes to jail, he has recently asked me to help take care of his expenses so he doesn't lose his house. We are doing what we can to coordinate that as best as possible.

My biggest concern now are these anonymous threats. I've reported it to the police, and they said they are doing what they can. They are trying to obtain IP addresses from the Facebook threats. The phone call I received came through without any caller details so they think it's some burner phone kind of thing? Awfully elaborate plan to penalize me for my dad's situation. This is remarkably odd and frightening. I feel like I'm in a Lifetime Channel movie or something.  If am on edge or especially rude here, please forgive me.

post #8678 of 12378
Prostitution laws are complete horseshit.
post #8679 of 12378

Whoa.

 

What a post, and what a tale. It does indeed seem like a movie or television script come to life. The threats make it surreal. You're brave for sharing it here.

 

Loneliness should never be criminalized, and it's a shame what your family is going through. I'd just try to document everything you can, and always be upfront and honest with the police. But DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.

post #8680 of 12378
Yeah, some friend or family member thinks they have an excuse to act like an asshole.
post #8681 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer View Post
 

Whoa.

 

What a post, and what a tale. It does indeed seem like a movie or television script come to life. The threats make it surreal. You're brave for sharing it here.

 

Loneliness should never be criminalized, and it's a shame what your family is going through. I'd just try to document everything you can, and always be upfront and honest with the police. But DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.

Thanks for the support and suggestion, man.

post #8682 of 12378
Definitely find this guy and bury him alive. Then send him this text: "Maybe you should mind your own business, asshole."
post #8683 of 12378

Maybe I'll send him an anonymous text back offering to give him a handjob for $20.

post #8684 of 12378

Fucked up all around. I hope I could do something other than offer sympathy.

post #8685 of 12378
I was propositioned today by an attractive 21-year-old woman. It was strange. She offered sexual favors in exchange for me advertising cleaning products. But I turned her down because I want to keep my conscience clean, clean like Ajax. Folks, do you know that Ajax cleans sinks and countertops 25% more effectively than the competition and costs less? That's why I trust Ajax.
post #8686 of 12378
Quote:
Originally Posted by wd40 View Post
 



If am on edge or especially rude here, please forgive me.

 

 

Dude. Totally understandable and what a HOLY SHIT thing. Geezus fuckin' christ, so sorry you and your family are going through this. This is happening just because people are actually human and have failings (don't we all) and emotional needs and shit. 

post #8687 of 12378

Thanks, smug :) Over 24 hours since I've heard anything. I am hoping this has blown over.

post #8688 of 12378
One of the many bullshit, predatory systems within The system. My heart absolutely goes out to you and your father. I really wish I could do something for him. My father was a pretty depressed guy and I lost him at 14.
post #8689 of 12378

I am sorry to hear you lost your father; and at such a young age, man. That's horrible. :(

post #8690 of 12378
I've been stuck in the purgatory of jury duty for the last two days; today's my birthday. If this isn't the most poorly organized waste of time, I'm not sure what is.

I waited six hours yesterday to finally get sent to a courtroom for some criminal case, only to have them tell me I needed to come back the following day for more of this horseshit.

I was bounced out this afternoon when they asked the potential jurors if they would render a guilty verdict without any evidence. I raised my hand. Now they're punishing me by making we wait for an opening on a civil case. I can't leave until the end of the day.

This is a fucking joke. I'd honestly rather be bored at work they suffer through this monotony.

Anyway, Happy Birthday, me!
post #8691 of 12378
Happy Birthday Brad, for what it's worth. Sorry about the sucky situation and the bad timing of it..
post #8692 of 12378
They let me cut me loose about 45 minutes later. I guess that'll teach me... something. I ended up leaving around the same time as most of the other people in my group. Funnily enough, they didn't realize I was in the elevator to the bottom floor with them.

"I can't believe that one guy..."

"Yeah, I mean -- oh, heyyy! They let you go."
post #8693 of 12378
Sorry to hear that Brad, but take heart in the fact that if you don't get assigned to anything today then they you can't be summoned again for another 12 months (that's if you live in California, all states have their own jury duty laws).

I got summons to come in on August 2nd and because of the summons I hounded my health insurance company to get them to finally approve my next procedure my doctor wants to do on my back. With the approval I was able to schedule a date for the procedure and then walk in to the office of jury services on August 2nd and tell them I had a herniated disk in my back and surgery scheduled for August 17th, they then stamped my summons and told me that I could leave. I guess that's at least one silver lining to all my back problems. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this minimally invasive "heated needle" procedure works for me so I don't have to literally go under the knife in the future.
post #8694 of 12378
If I get another summons, I'm faking my fucking death.
post #8695 of 12378

Happy birthito, Brad! 

post #8696 of 12378
Thanks, Sax!
post #8697 of 12378

Happy birthday!

 

Your gift to yourself if you get picked should be to try and recreate Jury Duty to the best of your abilities. Clothing and everything. Including the voice.

post #8698 of 12378
I couldn't believe the people in my group who'd been dicked around for just as long as I was but still seemed to be trying to get picked for the case.

"I had a DUI once, but the police were very professional. So I think of it as a positive experience with the LAPD."

Christ on His throne, could you sound like any more of a fucking white person?
post #8699 of 12378
Trying to sync my mother's first gen iPad with a photos folder on my dads PC (not Mac) via her iCloud account while logged into his, with my father giving a running commentary on what I'm doing wrong as he hasn't been able to sync it for the past 3 days.

I have stared into the abyss.
post #8700 of 12378
Ooh Brad's birthday.

All the best lid.
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