All the directors that would be better for X3 than Brett Ratner

Okay, so Brett Ratner's apparently a favorite choice of FOX execs to helm the third film in the X-Men franchise. Frankly, I'd rather shove my balls in a toaster. As a director, Ratner is an artist the way anyone that's ever put their eye to a camera hole is (and that includes any children on their second grade field trip to the Museum of Moving Arts). His films are constant fantasies of arrested development featuring characters that won't grow up, females with insipid and entirely sexual motivations, and minorities that serve as mystical guidance for the film's close-to-retarded protagonists. He spent one day in spirit on the set of RED DRAGON, allowing that film to be made by a series of xerox machines. He helmed the RUSH HOUR movies the way people drunkenly crash parties, doing what no director has ever been able to do: make Jackie Chan boring. And he made the dreadful THE FAMILY MAN, a movie that egregariously offensive and stupid in about eight dozen ways as to surpass offending and, like the manboy himself, become utterly regressive as an example of what our human race can create.

I don't really like Brett Ratner. And frankly, I think he's better suited to be on the running crew for the GIRLS GONE WILD videos than he would behind the camera of a $150 million-plus studio film.

So... I present to you... the PEOPLE BETTER SUITED THAN BRETT RATNER TO DIRECT X-MEN 3!

John Moore- The "other guy" bouncing around FOX studios, most likely on call in case Ratner (who I'd say is a lock) cannot perform. From what I've seen of his two films (both commercial duds, for the record), he creates machismo fantasies featuring video game situations and paper-thin characters. But hey, there's the machismo factor. Judging by the ridiculous preening and posturing from moments in BEHIND ENEMY LINES and FLIGHT OF THE PHOENIX, it's clear Moore strives for manly iconography. So, unlike Ratner, he strives for his films to last beyond the requisite five minute escape from the multiplex. A terrible choice, but better than Ratner.

Juan Carlos Fresnadillo- From what I can tell, this Spanish director has only helmed the freakish, one-of-a-kind thriller INTACTO. The characters of INTACTO are not unlike the X-Man Longshot, dealing death through their suspiciously uncanny good luck. INTACTO had a grounded view of the supernatural and a suffocating depiction of a sinister tone that left every scene jarring and uncomfortable. Give this sucker to him, FOX. It looks like the other project he's attached to is is sequel 28 WEEKS LATER, but that can wait, as there's no script for that yet. A tad risky, but better than Ratner.

Takashi Miike- How many times must I say it? If FOX wants this film to start shooting in August for a July release next year (I don't know how Ratner comes across as a guy that can complete a film with that marathon schedule), they better enlist Miike. Miike is a legend of shock cinema, and his vision extends from fun-loving family opuses, to personal dramas, to insane gornographic exploitation fests that register high on a blackly comedic scale. And he works quickly and cheaply. Hire Miike and you'll have X3 done by December and about $100 million under budget. Potential financial suicide, but better than Ratner.

David Cronenberg- Cronenberg is set to start shooting his original script for PAINKILLERS, but that script's been in the works for a number of years, and it can wait. Hell, Cronenberg shares a lineage with the most famous X-man, Wolverine, as both represent Canada's finest exports. If the storyline deals with the Mutant Massacre storyline, as rumors insist, then we'll be seeing the freakishly deformed gang of mutants known as the Morlocks. And who does body horror better than Cronenberg? Small and esoteric, but better than Ratner.

Paul Verhoven- I've heard there's a crazy sex scene and that three major characters die in the next film. Verhoven's been making pure poetry out of shocking death and taboo-shattering sex in cinema for years. Surely the pure spectacle of the bugs attacking in STARSHIP TROOPERS is enbough to land him this gig, particularly if production is perilously close to starting. And no, Brett Ratner couldn't direct anything as good as SHOWGIRLS, and you can quote me on that. Insane and batshit crazy, but better than Ratner.

Antoine Fuqua- What Fuqua needs is a return to the streets. He's been wasting his time trying to stretch with crap like KING ARTHUR when he really succeeds in an urban landscape. And with the Mutant Massacre, we're going underground with tons of characters who are unscrupulous about being badass killers. Imagine the fetisization of the evil personified in Magneto, and how that would come across through Fuqua's lens. Again, he's not a very good director, but he's better than Ratner.

Doug Liman- He's already worked with FOX on MR. AND MRS. SMITH, written by X3 co-writer Simon Kinsberg. Why not continue the working relationship? All indications are Liman's a difficult director, but at this point in his career, perhaps he's earned the right to be left alone on a kamakiaze shooting schedule to produce something like this. Hey, when push comes to shove, inhouse help is better than Ratner.

Danny Boyle- Again, has a working relationship with FOX. He's a visionary director who's put forth a number of really distinctive films so far in his career. His handle of material is varied and intelligent, and he's coming off a series of commercial high points. Would be ideal, and better than Ratner.

Sam Raimi- Wouldn't that be something? SPIDER-MAN 3 doeasn't start until next year, so he's gotta do SOMETHING with his time, and I get the feeling that doesn't have to be figuring out how many ways sand is lethal. Never gonna happen, but better than Ratner.

Guy Ritchie- Well, we couldn't get Matthew Vaughn, how about his lackey? Maybe ol' Madge has Kabbalah'd him out of relevance, but the guy's still got a fetish for massive multi-character arcs and blisteringly exciting shooting. Plus, apparently he works on the quick. A limey bastard, and better than Ratner.

Michael Mann- MIAMI VICE is about to finish shooting, and Mann's ready to roll. COLLATERAL was the first $100 million hit of his career, so he's hot right now, and he has a history of making films better than they should be as well as an astute understanding of the importance of the exploration of pulp. A killer soundtrack, better than Ratner.

Quentin Tarantino- He's gotta do something better with his time than talking about movies he loves and shooting CSI episodes. A Tarantino X-Men would be bonkers, lots of fun and chaotic in approach and satisfaction, and most likely the most intoxicatingly entertaining of the X-films. Pop culture savvy, but better than Ratner.

George Lucas- Here's another guy with nothing better to do. REVENGE OF THE SITH was hackneyed filmmaking (and Lucas still hasn't made a good film since 1977), but it's clear he developed an understanding of the pathos and dramatic weight that his saga should carry by the close of the clunky but aesthetically pleasing third/sixth film. Being that this X-story is heavy in tragedy, wouldn't it be more of the same for Lucas? I don't see anythign wrong with someone wandering into the xanadu-like Skywalker Ranch and inquiring about Lucas, who has a healthy relationship with STAR WARS distributors FOX. Toy-worthy, but better than Ratner.







To be continued at a later date...

David Fincher- A fan favorite pick of sorts, Fincher has done nothing the past few years aside from attach himself from project to project, only to see them all fall apart. Is this his fault? Who knows? FOX worked with him last on PANIC ROOM, which made a sturdy $100 million, and there's no reason they shouldn't be on speed-dial with him again. Apparently he didn't impress Marvel suits with his SPIDER-MAN pitch (which entailed a five minute pre-credits excplanation of his origin), but it's that cavalier attitude and visionary narrative thrust that a film this cluttered would need. Say what you will about Fincher, he visualized FIGHT CLUB, a feat that few directors wouldn't have given up on halfway through. Destroying something beautiful, and still better than Ratner.

Mel Gibson- How do I say this? Ok, here goes: Mel Gibson has a hard-on for torture, as an actor or director. And that's something I would've said before THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST, which, knowing Mel's religion, we all should've seen coming. So, being that we may be seeing Angel's wings painfully clipped... well, shouldn't a storyboard of that be enough to persuade him? Good and bloody, and better than Ratner.

Johnathan Mostow- Last I heard he was attached to TERMINATOR 4 (which apparently starts shooting at the end of 2006), a remake of SECONDS (which has been indevelopment hell for years), and some crazy ass movie about robot boxers. FOX, listen carefully- agree to bankroll this crazy robot boxer movie in exchange for Mostow's low-fi touch on X3. Sure, like the third TERMINATOR film, he'll make everything look like a chintzy dinner theater version of the first two movies, but he knows how to shoot bare essential action and suspense. U-57better than Ratner.

Ridley Scott- Would it hurt to ask? Epic as all hell, and better than Ratner.

Oliver Assayas- Go leftfield, young man. In addition to being one of the most interesting and thought-provoking filmmakers in the world, Assayas also has something of a hard-on for the X-Men mythos, as DEMONLOVER can attest. His kinetic, hyperstylish, cold tone would be perfect for an all-hell-breaks-loose X-film. The Hellfire Club, and better than Ratner.

Rob Zombie- What's more human than human? A mutant, silly! Zombie's 1000 CORPSES movies, judging by promo material for the second, are wildly different in tone and shooting style, and he's shown the ability to shock, tittilate and unnerve. Bring him into the fold, and his bonkers style will be like a shot of crazy juice to this franchise. Phoenix would be a living dead girl, and he would be better than Ratner.

Curtis Hanson- Stunningly, the one name I've heard more than anyone else on every message board I've visited is none other than Curtis Hanson. And it makes sense. Hanson has proven adept at a number of different genres, and X-MEN would be just one more. He has a pure history of literally making the material on the page FAR BETTER onscreen, so even if Simon Kinsberg (XXX2, FANTASTIC FOUR) is largely responsible for the finished script, it will be at least watchable. Which is better than Ratner.

George Clooney- One of the things that stuck out about Clooney's startlingly confident directorial debut CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND was the amount of practical effects onscreen during transitions and time lapses. Matthew Vaughn spoke highly of his desire to use practical effects, to the point where bringing on someone who's adept at them as well would be close to seamless. Plus, no one ever takes into account: actor-directors learn from who they work with, and Clooney has a stunning resume of talented directors who have helmed his work. Handsome, and better than Ratner.

PJ Hogan- Hogan's last film was a huge tank, which is unfortunate because it was the magical PETER PAN. Ratner's last film tanked too, however, that was the odious AFTER THE SUNSET. So, who's fooling who? PETER PAN was such a magnificent adaptation, filled with magical transcendant moments that it's a stunner he hasn't at least been asked to helm a HARRY POTTER film. Pixie dust, but better than Ratner.

The Wachowskis- They like leather, and the MATRIX films are a billion dollar property. It could be a lot worse, and it's better than Ratner.

Michael Cimino- Hell, with this shooting schedule, the thing's already going to be some breed of disaster. if you're gonna throw in the towel, go for broke! He won't explain why they need the cock fight scene, and he'll be better than Ratner.

Darren Aronofsky- Hugh Jackman has veto power over the X3 director, so why not go with the last guy that directed him? Aronofsky was behind the camera for THE FOUNTAIN, and hopefully Jackman's experience was pleasureable enough to toss a recommendation his way. Fish-eye lens'd to death, and still better than Ratner.

Robert Altman- Wait, how many characters is this thing gonna have? Hatin' America, and better than Ratner.

Ack, I wasn't done yet!

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/topnews.php?id=9892



Alas, I am undeterred!

Robert Rodriguez- As mentioned, he is the best hope of getting this project finished in time. He'll shoot, cut and get this film out ASAP. At the very least, it will be infectuously dumb and OTT. Fast, cheap and better than Ratner.

Johnathan Glaser- Glaser's coming off a movie that could have potentially gotten him blacklisted in Hollywood with the gorgeous BIRTH. Still, Glaser's two films so far prove him to possibly be the closest thing to a modern day Kubrick. And what would be cooler than a Kubrick-directed X-MEN film? Potentially pedophilic, and better than Ratner.

David Twohy- Twohy somehow got studio executives to invest $120 million for THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK. That already gives him huge balls, which in turn makes him better than Ratner.

Christopher McQuarrie- The apparently reclusive Oscar-winner was actually one of many names to contribute to the script to the original X-MEN. As is, he's been gone for too long. THE WAY OF THE GUN was a balls-out guy flick, and showed that he deserves a bigger budget for making a gunfighting film that somehow topped every entry in the shootout genre from the past twenty years. He fucks baby heads, and he's still better than Ratner.

Alex Proyas- Okay, yeah, he turned it down, yeah, yeah. Apparently he also hates FOX. So who was that in FOX offices the other day pitching an I ROBOT 2 set in space? Perhaps after telling him no, they should have said, "Maybe, if you do this." Proyas would be too foolish to not take the gig after being prodded enough times. Methinks Avi Arad is pleased being surrounded by Tim Storys and John Hensleighs. Tune him right, and he's better than Ratner.

Philip Noyce- Yes, he's been doing smaller films recently, but lest we forget, he can bring in the Noyce, as he proved with CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER. If anything, he'd provide class to this latest installment, which DEFINETLY makes him better than Ratner.

Paul Greengrass- I hate hate hate hate hate HATE the fact that WATCHMEN might be dead because Paramount are a bunch of sad little losers. Greengrass provides a smart, sharp pedigree to the project, and he surely will not shy away from any topicality the Morlocks present. He'd be a SMART choice, which is much better than Ratner.

Michael Bay- Let's get this out of the way... Bay is a poor filmmaker and a terrible storyteller. But a coked up maniac like Bay shooting on a tiny schedule is far better than a coked up Ratner directing via cellphone while oogling supermodels on a yacht. The last time Bay had a tight schedule (excluding THE ISLAND, which apparently had a supertight schedule) was BAD BOYS 2, which found him responding to exec claims of being "too violent" by going back and shooting more violence, taking his final cut to the highest level, which are the type of balls I want in an X-MEN movie. Now, the last time Marvel gave any director final cut, we got HULK, but these are desperate times. Let's face it, show Bay that he'll be working with Halle Berry, Maggie Grace, Anna Pacquin, Famke Janssen and Rebecca Romijn and he'll be in poontang heaven. Apparently he's currently on TRANSFORMERS, but I'm sure he'll grow frustrated in his desperation to make a "kiddie film" (as he describes it) that a script, which should have been finalized by now, hasn't been. Totally sexist and racist, and better than Ratner.

Nick Rumaczyk- He's a friend of mine, actually, and he's got the skills for directing. I've seen his short films; you'll hear his name eventually. He's also a pretty big X-fan, but not too big that he can't be objective about it. Like Singer, he also understands the parallels with X-MEN and STAR TREK, and if he was hired, I'd be on the set ghostwriting in between scenes when Kelsey Grammer gets pissed off at the "writer of XXX: STATE OF THE UNION." Totally underprepared, and better than Ratner.

Guillermo Del Toro- Del Toro said he'd only be interested if Beast was in it. Happy birthday, Guillermo. Sure he's got HELLBOY 2, but... well, ok, I don't have a reason why he'd drop that for this, but he'd sure be better than Ratner.

Peter Jackson- Say, isn't KING KONG just finishing? A diversion! and better than Ratner.

Marcus Nispel- He last did that TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE remake, and it had a sufficient amount of grit and gloss to suggest he'd handle a mutant massacre quite well. Crazily German, and better than Ratner.

Andrew Dominik- His last work was CHOPPER and it's been too long. He's been attached to THE FOUNDATION, but that probably won't happen, meaning that he gets som free time. CHOPPER is really well-made, well-edited, funny, violent and sharper than any Australian picture in recent memory, and Dominik definetly has the skills to move up a weight level. It's a prosthetic, and better than Ratner.

Richard Kelly- SOUTHLAND TALES has waited for a few years now and it can keep waiting. Kelly got tons of mileage from a film that only cost $10 million but has become the midnight movie hit of the new decade. His name alone will get tons of people never previously interested in X-MEN to watch. And hopefully, the circular logic of some mutants being better than others (Morlocks) will be super confusing. With a stupid human suit, still better than Ratner.

to be continued...

Ronny Yu- Yu, the architect of the crazy-strange THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR, is a filmmaker who would bring a curiously international taste to the proceedings, something I’m surprised we haven’t gotten a chance to witness yet. Not only that, but he has experience getting behind the camera of a long-in-development sequel which had been tainted simply by the sheer volume of fingerprints all over it, only to shepard it towards a wildly successful box office run. Once attached to SNAKES ON A PLANE, he’s still better than Ratner.

Katherine Bigelow- It’s a pity that, throughout all the rumors swirling around X3's director’s chair, no one considered a female director, particularly because of the X-franchise’s plethora of strong women characters. Then again, there really aren’t any female action directors, save for Bigelow, still licking her wounds from K-19, the failure of which was not her fault. Her selection would be a boon for the franchise, desperate for a new look after two thematically consistent films that cannot be followed up in any way. Particularly notable are some of the actors and personalities that have worked with Bigelow, once Mrs. James Cameron, which should have assuaged the franchise’s veteran actors that she was capable. Also, she’s hot, another reason she’s better than Ratner.

Alfonso Cuaron- Cuaron’s deft touch was recently granted to another big franchise, the HARRY POTTER films. FOX should have realized the folly the WB made in not asking him back, as THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN was considered by many to be the strongest and most involving of the three POTTER films. Cuaron would have brought a serious focus to the material, and a care and consideration for the themes that a music video whore like Brett Ratner would not have. Cyclops and Wolverine make out at the end, and still better than Ratner.

Oliver Stone- Okay, okay, personally, I’d rather see him on Paramount’s upcoming CAPTAIN AMERICA film. But that really won’t happen, will it? Chances are, the ALEXANDER debacle will keep Stone away from anything with a significant budget. Still, what’s often ignored is that Stone is consistently one of the most entertaining visual artists in recent memory, elevating his material to the level of importance and seriousness usually required for non-trivial matters. His X-MEN film would be nothing if not visually kinetic and fierce, which sure is better than Ratner.

Johnathan Demme- Demme’s got a rocky track record, but his last film, the topically-charged remake of THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE, suggests that he’s still at the top of his game. Demme’s got a very hip, modern edge that would give the franchise a bit more immediacy and weight, while also infusing the soundtrack with some doubtlessly cool tunes. It rubs the lotion on it’s skin because it’s better than Ratner.

Stephen Norrington- In theory, he’s retired. He said as much following the troubled shoot for A LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN, a film which drew a lot of negative buzz yet still turned a very healthy profit due to overseas returns. Still, look at the projects he was attached to before throwing the towel in:
-A terrorist thriller, TICK TOCK, featuring Jennifer Lopez as an FBI bomb expert.
-A live-action version of the popular manga AKIRA.
-FREDDY VS. JASON 2.
None of those projects are a winning situation, so it’s no surprise he took his name out of director circulation after the disastrous LXG. However, Avi Arad owes Norrington for directing BLADE and bringing Marvel out from the dark ages of bankruptcy, and tossing him such a high profile project would just make sense. Loud techno, and better than Ratner.

Catherine Hardwick- A hip, edgy and unconventionally appropriate choice, Hardwick seems to be building a resume of youthful, spirited films dealing with young outsiders finding their way. With Hugh Jackman poised to launch his own Wolverine franchise and a few key characters being killed off, the time is ripe to expand the roles of some of the younger stars of the X-MEN films, and Hardwick would be the ideal choice. Rogue gets her belly-button pierced, and better than Ratner.

Brian DePalma- The master copycat would be the ideal choice to helm a franchise that has very clearly become Bryan Singer's, and there's a big chance here to place his stamp on a major franchise after being booted from the MISSION IMPOSSIBLE series. DePalma is a seasoned veteran, the type of unflappable professional best suited for a kamaikaze, whirlwind production like this. Dressed to kill, and better than Ratner.

David Goyer- Well, okay, BLADE TRINITY was pig slop. Still, this is another example of Avi Arad rewarding someone who pulled Marvel out of the fire. Standing at three films, the BLADE series is the most successful of Marvel's new franchises in terms of significance and longevity, and Goyer is the chief architect. While his directorial skills may be in question, a situation like this would be greatly improved by someone who has experience in dealing with the maniacal Arad. The recent script for BATMAN BEGINS was flawed, but suggested a deep reverence for the character, a similar tone which would be required for this X-picture. Throttled by Wesley, and still better than Ratner.

Tim Burton- Well, he's pretty mcuh sold his soul and shed all of his individuality: the last Burton film with any whimsy or invention was the truly haunting EDWARD SCISSORHANDS; since then he's been a workmanlike helmsman, commercial instincts sharper than ever but storytelling skills and immersion of style absent. Still, has Ratner done anything in the same ballpark as SLEEPY HOLLOW? Helena Bonham Carter as White Queen, and better than Ratner.

E. Elias Merhinge- Merhinge is the textbook example of a Hollywood outsider: After the wholly uncompromising BEGOTTEN, he caught Nic Cage’s eye enough for him to produce Merhinge’s next, the trippy horror film SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE. Somehow, this got him the director’s chair for SUSPECT ZERO, a film marred by post-production tinkering and massive reshoots that searched to explain an unexplainable story. Still, the guy’s got an eye, and his fascination with the primitism of male hunting rituals is a theme that would be fascinating to see run through X-MEN, moreso than any sort of empty-headed themes Brett chooses to follow. A fascination with NOSFERATU, and better than Ratner.

Richard Stanley- Hell yes! This guy needs to find something to re-attach himself to: the last anyone saw of him was on the set of THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU, where he responded to his firing by becoming an extra under everyone’s noses. Stanley directed two truly visionary low budget sci-fi films, DUST DEVIL and the criminally underrated HARDWARE, and he’s spent the time since licking his wounds after a hellish couple of weeks on a set with Val Kilmer and Marlon Brando, crafting a few interesting documentaries, the likes of which had him globetrotting and nearly getting killed. That kind of Hollywood experience is priceless. Stanley would come cheap, and he’d make a mesmerizing, different X-MEN film. This is what you want, this is what you get, and better than Ratner.

Alejandro Jodorowsky- In the vein of Stanley, here’s another visionary survivor. Jodorowsky’s last film, which he’s disowned, was 1990's THE RAINBOW THIEF, but the body of work he’s put together, including EL TOPO and THE HOLY MOUNTAIN, feature images and concepts that can never possibly be dreamed up again. Jodorowsky’s been elusive since his last film, although the upcoming release of EL TOPO to DVD suggests that a whole new audience is about to find out. FOX, why don’t you jump on the Jodo train before it leaves the station? He probably wouldn’t even read the script, and and he’d still be better than Ratner.

John Maybury- Maybury, an experimental filmmaker, released the fever dream THE JACKET earlier this year, a threadbare narrative strapped to a series of arresting and bizarre images that rattle in your head far longer than the story merits. THE JACKET was fiercely uncompromising and often startling, a mixture that this third entry in the X-series shouldn’t be ashamed to aspire to. Whatever the hell this is about, it’s better than Ratner.

Francis Lawrence- Why the hell not? X-MEN producer Lauren Shuler Donner last worked with Lawrence on his directorial debut, CONSTANTINE, so employing him again (and keeping him from the proposed I AM LEGEND) seems like a no-brainer. Lawrence’s pacing with suspect during many long stretches of the interminable CONSTANTINE, but it remained a colorful action picture brimming with intriguing set-pieces. The effects work alone should make Lawrence qualified to serve at the helm of X-MEN, rather than Ratner, who’s chief special effects experience stems from telling Jackie Chan how high to kick. Not a music video, but better than Ratner.

Sam Mendes- Mendes is nearing completion of JARHEAD, freeing up his schedule. In the realm of comic adaptations, Mendes already helmed ROAD TO PERDITION, which was nicely focused, like all comic book fables, on the destruction and dissolution of iconography. This sort of focus is exactly what a death-drenched X-MEN needs, as Mendes has proved to be adept at handling sobering material. Narrated from the dead, and better than Ratner.

Peter Weir- Weir’s films are gorgeous, elegaic and mature. That alone makes him better than Ratner.

Larry Soehnel- Larry’s another friend of mine- he has no directorial experience that I’m aware of, but he has an understanding and respect for the source material necessary for such a project. He’s excellent at delegation and would bring a level of seriousness and understanding of the property, as well as a respect for those around him that Ratner would never have. He wouldn’t wonder aloud when Brandon Routh would die, and therefore he’d be better than Ratner.

Nick Palumbo- Palumbo has been at the helm of two notorious mock-snuff pictures, MURDER-SET-PIECES and NUTBAG. While X-MEN might not be the type of material he would like to tackle, the poor taste peddler has no pretensions about the type of film that he makes. With his last film, M-S-P, he had to dodge the police and angry picketeers eager to shut down filming while it was underway, so working within a pressurized FOX atmosphere will be a piece of cake. PIECES cost $2 million and looks like it would have been roughly $10 million, which is another reason he’d be a step above the Rat, who makes films like AFTER THE SUNSET that cost $60 million when they look like they cost five bucks. Potentially illegal, and better than Ratner.

Garth Jennings- Jennings is coming off THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY, a wildly faithful adaptation of the popular books. Jennings’ eye for detail and love for the material would easily trump the dedication of Brett Ratner, who once claimed he was a lifelong SUPERMAN fan, despite recently not being able to name the director of SUPERMAN II and III. Gives a damn, and better than Ratner.

Louis Lettirier- Lettrier’s recent gigs have been on English language fight films, with the TRANSPORTER pictures sandwiching the exceptional UNLEASHED. Lettrier’s budgets have increased exponentially, and if the trailers for TRANSPORTER 2 are to be trusted, Lettrier would not be looking to make his films any smaller. Lettrier’s ready, people, and he’s better than Ratner.

Christian Gans- Okay, Gans isn’t available: he’s been actively developing the film version of SILENT HILL for nearly a year, and with filming currently underway, it’s not like he’s going to dropout anytime soon. It’s been a long time away for Gans, who last did BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF, a mishmash of legends both urban and storied. The sheer chtuzpah behind the creative decisions at the heart of BROTHERHOOD should have been enough for him to return to Hollywood as a big time player. Monica Bellucci’s boobies, and better than Ratner.

Martin Scorsese- Shoot, you didn’t watch the beginning of GANGS OF NEW YORK and think of a superhero movie? Hellcat Maggie is about five X-Men on her own! So late in his career, Scorsese still is the most exciting filmmaker working today, and THE AVIATOR recently established that he’s still close to the peak of his abilities. A Scorsese-led production would be bright, serious and violent, penetrating the very human depths of the mutant characters in a way Singer could have only dreamed of. And his involvement would certify that superhero movies could be enjoyed by the brighter among us, and not the simpletons who attend Ratner’s ego-fests. Wiping the scum from the streets, and still better than Ratner.

Alex de la Iglesia- ACCION MUTANTE! De la Iglesia’s body of work has been far under the radar as of late, but he is considered one of the world’s foremost filmmaking surrealists. His approach is distinctly Spanish in nature, although he’s clearly influenced by the world of comic books and escapist science fiction. Hiring him would be a perfect match of filmmaker and material, leaving Ratner to helm more racist, sexist and altogether idiotic fare he’s a perfect match for. ACCION MUTANTE! and better than Ratner.