Crazy shit you believe in

Especially elevators.

Wrestling is real and NASCAR is fixed.

CRAZY SHIT I BELIEVE IN!

1) Sam Raimi will win the Best Director Oscar in the next ten years.
2) MAGIC!
3) Family Guy will be cancelled again within the same 2-3 year timeframe.
4) Rob Cohen will direct the inevitable American homage to "Battle Royale".
5) Rath will one day fight crime under the codename "Sharky".
6) Red Dawn will be remade by Michael Bay and it will gross more than Titanic.
7) Japan will one day be renamed "Super Ultra Madness Crazy Land!" and it will become a world power.
8) Quentin Tarantino will make "Inglorious Bastards" before 2010.
9) The world will rediscover the magic that is Journey.
10) Adult Swim will eventually become its own network.
11) Scorsese will be nominated Best Director for "The Departed" and win.
12) I will develop a fanbase.
13) The Unitarian Church.
14) Ray Romano is the next Bob Crane.
15) Disney Animation will face a gigantic overhaul and usher in a new era of American animation.
16) Black Snake Moan will become the sleeper hit of 2006.
17) After the Countdown, The Infinite Crisis will be greatly disappointing.
18) The prequels were some of the best fun that I had the cinema in years.
19) Alan Moore will teach me how to grow a real beard.
20) Grant Morrison will teach me magic.
21) Warren Ellis will try to put a cigarette out in my eye.
22) Frances Farmer will have her revenge on Seattle.
23) Chinese Democracy will be released in my life time on a format that I don't own.
24) The "SLUT" look will go out, but come back within three weeks.
25) Mission: Impossible 3 will turn into the Waterworld of the 21st century.
26) America will fall in love again with Ms. Molly Ringwald.
27) I'll take a trip to North Dakota expecting Deadwood, but only end up in a shitwater town.
28) That this thread will be parodied soon, with very few laughs.
29) That Anya will stop watching Angel and give Wings a try for once.
30) When Rob Schneider dies, there will be a note written in lipstick on his chest that says, "Sorry for Judge Dredd".

You pretty much covered them all Anderson!

I have nothing to add.

I think your close, but it think it's more likely to say "this is FOR Judge Dredd.... and The Hot Chick.... And The Animal... and Deuce Bigalow.... oh and for all the really lame cameos in Adam Sandler movies.... And for not acually making Rob Schinedier is The Stapler, Rob Schinedier is The Caroot or Rob Schienedier is Durbabadurbabadur. "

There's a giant man in the sky and he hates "wrong love".

I like that line.

God
Jesus
Virgin Birth
Heaven
Hell
Adam
Eve
Satan
Raining frogs
Revelations
Angels
Demons

Oh wait, I don't believe any of that.

I guess my most hysterical belief is that Wendy's has better hamburgers than McDonald's. Does that count?

This list rules. Did you make that up off the top of your head?
As for #12, count me in. That's one.

Hey, Somebody give this guy a job as a cartoon comedy writer.

I believe in America.

I do believe in fairies, I do, I DO!

Ghosts & Aliens

When i was young i believed that lifts (or elevators, if you must) were powered by dragons. there was a hook on the top of each lift that the dragon, who lived in a shed on the roof, would slip his tail into and lift to whichever floor you wanted. It did this as part of an old truce with the government - the army wouldn't wipe them out if they stayed out of sight and did something useful and, in return, once a month, the dragon could take one lift all the way up to the top and eat all the occupants.

If I do not believe this now, why do I still dislike lifts?

Magnolia?

It really is Michael Bay.

Yeah, I made it up off the top of my head.

Thank you for the compliment, I'm a compliment monster. I feed on positive attention.

That the Fox network hates me, and that they cancel shows bases solely on how much I like them.

Oh and that if you play Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead back to back while playing a CD by either 98 Degrees, LFO, or O-Town in the background a portal to Hell will open at your feet.

I believe that within my lifetime, we will find proof of extraterrestrial intelligence.

I belive that if you wish hard enough and love long enough anythings possible.

Wow.

I don't see Family Guy having a long run. It was a show ahead of it's time. Unfortunately, I think now it's a show past it's time.


But what I really wanted to say:

It is completely possible that The Departed might be such a well-made movie that it DOES get him the Oscar. Now imagine that the studios go nuts and start buying MORE foreign titles and remaking them with more well known directors. That's where Cohen comes in making his PG-13 BATTLE ROYALE.

And then the world will end in a pink blast of nukes and cotton candy.

I believe dogs can't look up.

You're right, they lack the opposable thumbs neccesary to open a dictionary.

I believe that if we make it through the Peak Oil crisis, I will live to see the Technological Singularity, and maybe live forever.

A small sample from near the start of the page I linked:

That'll never happen if Microsoft has any say in the matter.

That was a good read, by the way.

There's one now!

That people can actually coexist peacefully without a major tradegy happening.

That a team from Minnesota will win a goddamn championship.

That my girlfriend will never tire of sex, haha (crosses fingers).

- Everyone has the ability to alter their surroundings in some small way using only the power of their mind, if you think something hard enough you can make it happen

- Brains need to be fed, if you don't constantly present it with new stimulus it will slowly grow weak

- Johnny Depp is James Dean reincarnated

Hmmm... interesting thought.

If you sleep with your foot off the bed, something will eat it!

That if it were suggested to them by their pastors, Evangelicals would take over the government and name George W. the "Holy Ruler" terminating all familiar forms of democracy in the name of God.

Well that';s the truth isn't it?

People should be decent to each other.

Baseball.

School is going to get me somewhere someday.

Steve Zahn is will be emperor one day.

Yeah you just wait sooner or later you’ll have to admit to the deliciousness of McDonald’s burgers.

I love you man.

The monster in your closet is actually going to be the love of your life.

I believe:

That my GI Joe collection will one day be worth something.
That spending 20 bucks on all the Burger King Star Wars Toys was a good idea.
That Kevin Smith will one day make a really good Non Jersey Trilogy movie.
That Robert Rodriguez will win an Oscar one day.
That Being a nice guy will pay off in the end.
That People will one day stop viewing southerners as ignorant rednecks.
That Wrestling will someday be as good as it was in the mid 90's.
That if I put Oil of Olay on my testicles, it will help them look younger, too.
That deep down inside everyone is good.
That my beagle understands most of what I say.
That Bobcat Goldthwait will stop talking like that.
That Gilbert Gottfried will learn to open his eys...and stop talking like that.
That Gallagher is an underappreciated genius.
That the next X-men movie is going to be as good as the others.
That the next Spider-man movie won't be as good as the others.
That Peter Gallagher's eybrows are an intellgent life form and will some day rule the world.
That Wes Bentley's eybrows are second in command to Peter Gallagher's.
That Lindsay Lohan looked better when she was actually eating.
That Joan Rivers is powered by complex machines, and kept alive via life support a la Darth Vader.
That Git R Done will one day be Devin's favorite catchprhase.