Crazy People

Well, let's see:

Last night I was outside my apartment on the stairs, having a smoke. All of a sudden I hear:

"KILL ALL CHRISTIANS! KILL KILL THEM! CHRISTIANS SHIT! I KILL THEM!"

This continued for about 5 minutes. I stay right next to a rail station here in Atlanta, so I see plenty of crazies.

Cities are like maniac magnets. It's part of the chrarm.

I've only been to San Diego once, and that was for Comic Con last year. I met up with a friend, and we were on our way to find a bar to get a drink, and we got stopped by this guy. He pegged us for people here for the Con (I guess we had the "look", but it's a fair assumption that we just looked like any of the other hundreds of tourists that had arrived that night). He proceeded to talk to us, being that he was already probably a little toasted. But the weird thing is, he regaled us with his encyclopedic knowledge of Marvel characters. I'm not talking about he knew Spider-Man, I'm talking he was the walking freaking Marvel Handbook. It was so weird. He didn't actually ask us for money, but we ended up giving him some anyway, just because the situation was so nutty, and because he seemed so genuinely happy to have someone to talk to (or at) about comic books. SO weird.

I think the Tenderloin in San Francisco might have more bums and crazies and crazy bums than all of San Diego put together, when you walk down Ellis St. you are almost walking on a human carpet of crazy homeless people who think you are Beelzebub and are going to burn out their eyes with cigarettes.

In the year and a few months since I moved out east.. i've only seen two transient derelict but back in Las Vegas it was like Night of the Living Loons. Outside the strip there are tons of homeless people walking around talking to themselves or anyone who will listen (you can even see them when driving) or in general acting all crazy like. There was one guy who was arguing with himself in the third person, stopped and said he wasn't going to take this abuse anymore and said he was walking away and started going in a different direction then he was heading in. Its really quite frightening actually becase you know they're so friggen mentally disturbed that they might just do anything.

I was once in Montreal for my friends birthday and saw to homeless men stop in the middle of St. Catherines street (major road) and begin to have sex. This was at like midnight or something, no this was at 8 at night.

that is my most distrubing crazy people story.

I was visiting my cousin in the Spring Lake Park, which is a suburb of Minneapolis, well we went into Minneapolis and seen 2 guys, arguing. One in the 3rd person, the other in the 2nd person. Then they got into a nice little scrap, where the one talking in the 2nd person ended up "winning." Then on the way back from where we were those two were again talking, but not arguing. Crazy bastards.

The subways of NYC are full of crazies. For some reason, I have a conversation with practically every drunk, drug-addicted crazy bastard that I come across....maybe they detect a similar mind in me. I always come out with hysterical conversations, but it freaks out a lot of my friends when i'm talking with a guy with no pants on for a few minutes about the weather.

My latest crazy was this jamaican bum with this well constructed penis and balls strapped to his crotch. The penis looked like a dog bone and the balls were some kind of nut. He was screaming and preaching about how the white man was fucking with him. He noticed me looking at him, chuckling and he started giving me glances in between his sermon. Everyone on the train looked either nervous or indifferent (it is ny, after all...practically normal over here) Anyways, after a little while of having my eardrums hurt by this guy's speech (the dude was screaming - I tell the guy, ok, preach all you want, but do you have to yell?

He starts yelling at me "SIT ON THE BONE!!! SIT ON THE BONE!!!" and grabbing his creation.

I'm dying of laughter. He's going on about how the white devils will get there own, and he won't take anything from them. He's directing all of this to me now. I start ripping on him, saying what a lonely guy he is. He's calling me a blot clot (the worst jamaican curse, if you didn't know) and getting mad when i'm just getting even more enjoyment out of this exchange. He goes quiet after a while. Soon, my stop comes up. I turn to him and say "Have a good day, man" to which he replies "Na! I don't take that!". I say "Oh yeah, forgot you don't take anything from the white devils. God bless." And stepped off the train. He looked kinda peeved that I got the last word.

That's just my latest. I've had a drunk ask me where broadway was - "Uh, you're on it" "No....no.....but where is it?", I've had some girl on some drug laughing hysterically at a flower she was carrying, and then laughing at me when she realized I was cracking up too, i've had a guy flip open a knife on me on 125th and lex and ask if I wanted to buy it for 5 bucks after I just looked at him.

Gotta love it....

Oh, and I forgot to mention my favorite crazy! I see him all the time, cause he lives near me in the bronx. This dude looks native american- with a big mullet. He walks onto the subways with a piece of paper cut out like a batman symbol in front of him and looks through it. It's always a different piece of paper or flyer, so i'm wondering if he's got a stencil or something at home. Sometimes he starts telling everyone to be calm, he's just looking for the angels. My girl was staring at him once on the bus and he started freaking out- using anything he could find to block his vision of her.