Best gags in the Naked Gun films

off the top of my head one of my favorites was when the tall guy from the forensics lab was standing with frank and another lab tech. and frank gestures to the tall guy that he has something on the side of his mouth and the tall guy goes to brush it off and a hung of banana falls on the table and frank gets this crazy look on his face

"Nice Beaver!"
"Thanks, I just had it stuffed."

It would either be the conversation with Nordberg's wife in the hospital, or these line:

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Mayor: Now Drebin, I don't want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that's my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that's my policy.
Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!
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Also when Weird Al was also on the plane.

"Hey, it's Enrico Polazzo!"

"I must kill... Papshmir."

Also, Frank's umpire work.

Captain Annabell Brumford: "I would like now to introduce a most distinguished American. This week he is being honored for his 1000th drug dealer killed. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome Lieutenant Frank Drebin."
Frank Drebin: "Uh,In,In all honesty, the last two I backed over with my car..... Luckly, they turned out to be drug dealers."

and one scene in the 3rd one:

Black Prisonner ( Fred Ward's bodyguard): Prison changes a man
Frank: How ?
Black Prisonner: Before that I was white.


There's waaaaaaay too many.

"What's that smell?" From bad guy:

"I've been swimming in raw sewage.....I LOVE IT!" replies Frank Drebin.

I know it's corny, but the two guys shooting it out from behind trash cans that are two feet apart gets me every time.

Frank urinating while still hooked up to the microphone is also hysterical.




Heck, there are truly are too many to count.

The first film is right up there for my favorite comedy. The best bit is when they are showing all the baseball highlights. In between the normal bloopers you see a player hit by a car and another attacked by a lion. To top it off you get Mel Allen in the broadcast booth saying his trademark "How 'bout that!" while Dick Enberg looks at the highlights in horror.

I also always crack up when Nielson and Presley walk out of the movies in the best possible mood, after just seeing PLATOON.

Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husbands arm. Where would you like it sent?

God, I love the whole sequence with Frank and the student driver from the first movie. Just too much goodness to list here. But I have always loved the end of that sequence.

It's complete carnage in the background, the fireworks factory is ablaze, and Frank is like,
"Nothing to see here. Everything is perfectly under control. Nothing to see here."

"Do you speak french?"
"No, but I certainly kiss that way..."

"Oh, the truth hurts, doesn't it? Not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing but it HURTS...."

Chalk outlines all over the place after an explosion.

Nordberg getting shot at the beginning but it doesn't end there as he get's assaulted by a cake, beartrap, waffle iron etc

Easily my favorite. That kills me everytime, especially the wet paint.

Ah, Nordberg. Tell us you didn't do it buddy. Let's get number 4 rolling.

"Everything I see reminds me of her..."

"I like my sex like I like my basketball: one on one, and with as little dribbling as possible."

One of my best memories is taking my grandmother to see this flick at the drive-in. My god, I thought she was going to have a stroke laughing so damn hard.

The concrete dildo has to be the best gag in the first flick for me.


The film-noir gags with Frank and his inner monologue that ends with hims asking, "Where the hell was I?" Kills me everytime.



The third flick is has some solid gags, but seems to run of out of steam by the middle of the last act. Still worth a purchase just for Kathleen Freeman and Fred Ward's performances.

One of my best memories is taking my grandmother to see this flick at the drive-in. My god, I thought she was going to have a stroke laughing so damn hard.

The concrete dildo has to be the best gag in the first flick for me.


The film-noir gags with Frank and his inner monologue that ends with hims asking, "Where the hell was I?" Kills me everytime.



The third flick is has some solid gags, but seems to run of out of steam by the middle of the last act. Still worth a purchase just for Kathleen Freeman and Fred Ward's performances.

Where is the ZAZ team now?

Perusing the evil Wal-Mart today, I found all three flicks in the cheapie bin, $5.50! Along with Point Break, Waterworld and 9 to 5.

Wonder how much of that $33 is headed back to the employees. . .

Damnit, man! I like cheap umbrellas and good beef jerky as much as the next man, but Wal-Mart must be stopped at all costs.

A throwaway newspaper headline in the third film really made me howl: "DYSLEXIA FOR CURE FOUND!"

So do you think there is much chance of a better DVD coming anytime soon? I've got the original on tape but I'm tempted to put the scuba gear on and take a dive into that Wal-Mart bin.

The tear away suit and then into a body condom is a classic bit. The look on Drebin's face when he is interrupted in the umpire's locker room is also priceless.

The entire baseball scene in the original trumps anything in the rest of the movies. Even Reggie Jackson was in on the joke.

Some of my favorite stuff.

FRANK: "Ed. Congratulations, I heard your wife's pregnant"
ED: "Yeah, and when I find the guy who did it".

Frank frisking the dude at the door and grabbing Ed's wallet.

FRANK: "Ed. He's got a picture of your wife".

The afore-mentioned "Where The Hell Was I?" narration from the first movie.

It's not a gut-buster, but I just love the following from 2 1/2:

Hapsburg: Drebin, I don't recall seeing your name name on the guest list.
Drebin: Nothing to be embarrassed about, Hapsburg; I sometimes go by my maiden name.


Nielsen's intonation gives me a chuckling fit.


From 33 1/3, I love the running gag with "It's the bomb!" at the awards ceremony.

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don't want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that's my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards! That's my policy!
Mayor: That was a Shakespeare In The Park production of Julius Caesar, you moron. You killed five actors! *Good* ones!

-"Niiiice beaver."

-The entire baseball game, complete with the stunt double with a silver wig on doing the moonwalk.

-"By the way, I faked every orgasim".

And I love the part during the music video sequence in the first Naked Gun where Frank and Jane are on the date and he accidently squirts himself with the mustard, then Jane, then the hot dog vender...Followed by three bursting into a ridiculous laugh...

For me my favorite is a speech in 2 1/2 that is only seen in the extra long additions (I don't understand why they took out all the good jokes in the second film). I'll try my best to remember the line

Bad Guy: "I intend to shot your kneecaps Dreben and you will be in so much pain you will be begging me to kill you, but I won't do it. Not until you crawl here and kiss my feet.

Dreben: "You want me to kiss your feet. Why don't I do that now and we skip all that other stuff"

If someone can find me a video or audio clip of Frank Drebin's Star Spangled Banner, I'll kiss you in the nuts.

Major bump.

Really love these films. While the first is the best and one of the best comedies of all time, the sequels are both very good. All three add up to a great time. I have so many favorite moments, but here's a few I really enjoy that haven't been mentioned.

From NG 2 1/2:

Frank: How are the children?
Jane: We didn't have any children.
Frank: Yes, of course.

Frank's boss: (asking about Frank's zoo destruction incident) Do you realize that because of you, this city is being overrun by baboons?
Frank: Well, isn't that the fault of the voters? (cue drum roll)

From 33 1/3:

(Frank and Jane are offered advice for their sex life)
Psychiatrist: Have you tried lacy teddies, lingerie, sexy underwear?
Frank: I've tried wearing them. They don't work.

Oh yeah and the sperm bank sequence kills me everytime.

I should chime into this thread seeing what my screen nic is.

I remember one great bit where Frank comes off the plane to a bunch of reporters and he goes into this deep speech only for Ed to come over and say.

"Frank, they aren't here for you. Weird Al Yankovic is on the plane."

Along with the floating chalk outline after Nordberg was shot.

Love to see the renewed interest in the Naked Gun thread. This came up a few weeks back in a conversation with friends as I mentioned the original as one of my 5 favorite comedies of all-time. The second is real good as well. Third isn't quite as good as the first two but still fun enough in its own right.

This is one of my favourite visual gags ever.
One of the few movie quotes I repeat in real life was mentioned earlier but the poster left off the best part:

"Cuban...?"
"No, Dutch Irish. My Father is from Wales"

Also love the gag when Drebin is getting shot at by the thug who is delivering a "message" from Ludwig.

" I can't hear you! Don't fire the gun while you're talking! "

Frank: She was the kind of woman who made you want to drop to your knees and thank God you were a man! She reminded me of my mother, all right. No doubt about it.

The "Gimme the strongest thing you got"/Black Russian gag in the second movie. I'm cracking up just thinking about it.

I've always loved the multiple chalk lines etched around the lobby after the bombing in Naked Gun 2

The look on the bartenders face was priceless.

" I'd known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don't recall her playing an instrument or being able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact, I bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what it was"

On Police Squad and the first Naked Gun film, Nielson's comedy timing is genius.

Without Nielson, these films don't work nearly as well.

The first one is great. As a kid, I had it above Airplane! as my favorite spoof movie. That has changed since then. Picking a favorite quote or scene here is pretty hard. Most of my favorites have already been mentioned.

I was watching a Brewers game and the ump had a particularly exuberant strike call that day...the announcer (it had to be Matt Vasgersian, he's a pop culture junkie) immediately comes out with "{umpire's name} is looking like Frank Drebin out there today."

George Kennedy's gorging on junk food during the ball game - handful of popcorn, bite of a hot dog, bite of an ice cream bar, gnaws off a hunk of a cake....

Drebin gets suspended from the force and is packing up his desk...."Just think Ed, the next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested."

Montalban's death is classic - gets the trank dart in the neck - "don't worry, it's just a tranquilizer." Falls over the side of the stadium, then gets run over by a bus, a steamroller, and the USC Trojan Marching Band.

Ed turns aside, weeping..."my father died the same way."

Oh god Matt, just remembering Neilsons ultra-deadpan delivery of that speech and the look he gets on his face at "She asked me what it was" had me in hysterics.

This and Flying High (Airplane to my north hemisphere friends) are easily two of the greatest comedys ever. Yeah, Gun cribs a lot of it's best lines from Police Squad, but it's got some of it's own gold as well.

"I'm boiling a roast, how hot and wet do you like it?"


"Yeah, but going into Ludwig's office without a warrant, you're taking a big chance."
"I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan."


"I've finally found someone I can love - a good, clean love... without utensils."

From 2.5:
"And let me introduce the Redmans...weekend guests from out of town."

Echo the love for the baseball sequence. ".........Strike??"

"Sterrrrrikkkeeeeee threeeeee !!!" You're outta here !!""

expanded for detail.

I'm glad that the wounds of Leslie Nielson's latter-day comedy disgraces have now healed enough that we can all happily recognise his genius for delivering deadpan absurdities.

Yeah, its important to note that for each Naked Gun, Neilson has done half a dozen SPY HARDS and SCARY MOVIES.

At least, he had enough taste to stay out of those DISASTER MOVIE, MEET THE SPARTANS crap flicks this year.

Yeah but he's been acting in atrociious unfunny shit for years and years, ever since Dracula: Dead and Loving It if I recall (the final deathnote for Mel Brooks feature film career as well from memory).

Lets face it, these days the really funny films he was in are the exception to the rule.

It's just that those funny ones just happen to be some of the funniest fucking movies ever made.