STEALTH discussion - Page 2

What?

You mean you don't recognize the story premise about a government weapon that gets struck by lighting and comes to life?

You wanna know what I'm talking about?! I'll tell you what I'm...no, better yet I'll show you what I'm talking about
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<movie guy voice>
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They created it as a weapon for our protection...
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But after a freak accident
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Who will protect us...................from it.
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This Friday, when Johnny Five's alive
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"NEED.......MORE.............INPUT!!!!!!!"

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You won't be.
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Stealth: The Final Stage of J-Five.



Though I'm still not sure how the hell he managed to transform into a jet.

"Do the Airwolf", featuring rap vocals by Jamie Foxx and a corresponding MTV dance ensemble music video.

It *IS* a high-tech Top Gun. Only Goose is now black and Ice-Man is now a robot airplane.

What about the nervous Tim Robbins?

He turned into Jessica Biel, and instead of nervous, now he's sexy and followed everywhere he goes by a waterfall.

You know what this movie also needs? A scene where the evil plane is tricked into scanning a little boy's mind. Then, while talking like Pee Wee Herman and dancing to the Beach Boys, it could be destroyed by Jamie Foxx (although the trailers lead me to believe he dies in the first half hour of this movie, kind of like Steven Seagal in Executive Decision).

It's a high-tech plane, alright. One so high-tech that a mere lightning bolt can rewire its systems and make it aware.

Awesome military technology!

And the plane reminds me of Jaws.

this movie is terrible. i love it.

Yeah.

http://chud.com/reviews/3807

If it can't top XXX2, I'm not bothering. Especially since I can now experience the magic of Darius Stone and Kyle Steele on DVD.

"You and I have unfinished business, HOMEBOY!"

Awesome review Dave. And thanks for the new user title.

This movie cannot reach Netflix fast enough.

This thing is getting hailed as the perfect counter-programming title to SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGEANCE in Korea (both opened there this week). I might have to catch this one on the big screen.

Great review, Dave, except it didn't tell me the exact time Biel shows up in a bikini.

Eh, he's always bad.

Ok...I just got back from a matinee showing and too be totally honest the film is stupid with a capital S. YET I absolutely agree with Devin's that the film is "Ludicrously fun, magnificently stupid." Anybody who rags on the film for its stupidity I don't think gets it...this film Knows it is over the top Cheese and just runs with it. Now I grant you the film is nowhere near as good as say War of the Worlds or Batman Betgins but it is certainly a blast. Josh Lucas does a fine jobs as the hero and I would agree that he seems to be a sort of combination of Paul Newman mixed with McConaughey and Owen Wilson. Jessica Biel is does the best she can with her role, and she once again proves that she just may very well be the Sexiest woman in Hollywood these days.

(As an aside I really hope that Jessica Biel is able to land a role that really lets her act and show a wider variety of emotions than Stealth and Blade Trinity have allowed. Just in her brief "romantic" scenes with Lucas it seem clear that she would very capable in some dramatic and/or romantic films...i.e non-action roles. Right now she seems to be in the same spot that Eva Mendes had been in before Hitch...Eva had played one too many tough but sexy detectives in 2 Fast and Out of Time...Come On Hollywood give Jessica a chance to be completely feminine in a role...)

Jaime Foxx is able to provide some humor in the brief screen time he has and Sam Shepherd is really pretty great in his cliched role. As for the action there is some pretty incredible stuff in this film...especially the first mission that the trio embarks upon with EDI. I think we would all prefer more "real" flight combat scenes like in Top Gun but Stealth's CGI is by and large strong and Cohen captures the sense of pure Speed once again. To finish let me just say that I HATE The Fast and the Furious and XXX. Horrible movies. Yes Cohen may be a hack...but Stealth is a damn FUN movie. It sure ain't art...but it makes for a great matinee at least.

I hated XxX and Fast and the Furious as well. Still I like Lucas, Foxx and the Biels and this looks like a lot of fun. You convinced me to see this chappers.

First 3 minutes.
10 minute clip.

I'll go see this and I'll propably laugh my ass off. Looks hilarious. "You taught me", almost as good as "You--- Me. Sssssssssssssame".

Thanx for the clips. Throwing that rock music in when the jet started attacking on it's own was so cheesy. Probably say it's a distraction technique, but it was still corny as hell.

I wish it was stupidly and ludicrously fun. There were glimmers of hope, then the "-ly fun" went away pretty damn fast.

The last 30 minutes were snoozeville. The only moment of trademark Cohen supercheese was when the enemy chopper blew up in slow-mo to majestic choral music. Aside from that, it was nothing compared to the likes of Torque and XXX2 in terms hilariously awful fun.

This thread is in the wrong forum. This is a video game, not a movie.

"it was nothing compared to the likes of Torque and XXX2 in terms hilariously awful fun."

Dude that is just fucking cold! In my honest opinion there has never been an action movie that has been worse on every single level as Torque. Torgue is the House of the Dead of action movies. Not even a bottle of Beam makes Torque acceptabe on any level.

For those who care, the inevitable "science behind the movie" article.

http://www.popsci.com/popsci/aviatio...088349,00.html

" There are three reasons why filmmakers distort science and technology: 1) to make things look cooler, 2) to make a story work, and 3) because they have no clue what they’re talking about, and they’ve chosen to ignore the advice (or pleas) of the film’s consultants. Although Stealth a hypersonically paced Top Gun update about an unmanned air combat vehicle (UCAV) gone amok gets correct some of the futuristic air-combat technology it depicts, much of it is dead wrong, and the film commits all three of the aforementioned sins. "

-AiV

edit: And another just-discovered quote from the article:
"Yes, moviegoers, the plane has turned evil so evil that it illegally downloads music." :-)

When I went into XXX, I expected a cheesy, dumb, fun action movie. Instead, it was just BORING. I suspect it will be the same with Stealth.

Sounds like MST3K material, if that show were still on.
God, How I miss that show....

Talk about false advertising. The movie isn't so much about a homicidal death plane as it is about Jessica Biel impersonating Owen Wilson in Behind Enemy Lines for the last half of the movie.

Richard Roxburgh is delightfully awful as always.

Notes:

-Watching the Korean get blown into the barb wire was absolutely hilarious.

-But pales in comparison to hearing EDI utter the AOL "Goodbye" line before committing suicide.

-Maybe its just me, but in the bikini scenes Biel looka lika man.

-Say what you will, but Cohen can film an action scene. The bit with Biel ejecting from the plane was quite harrowing.

It's not just you. Personally, Biel isn't all that. In a summer season where Scarlett Johansson and Rachel McAdams are looking their best, Biel's nothing to shout about.

Them thare's fighten words pardner!



Careful Gravedigger, asking that question got my thread locked..... no sense of perversion on this board, I thought we were all internet nerds... come on group hug?

I would certainly question whether we saw the same movie. Granted my predilection for fit chicks is no secret, and not every gal will rank as high on every guy's scoresheet, but to say she "looka lika man"... that's some outright inspired lunacy.

Able to watch the first 4 minutes on my TiVo... balls. Love how they have to falt our tell you what's going on with the text at the beginning.

I can see (well Ok I really, really can't) someone thinking Biel was not "all that" but anybody who says she looks like a man needs to have their eyes checked. SMOKING HOT! Oh and McAdams looks to me to be nearly anorexic where Jessica Biel is the epitome of a truly stunning healthy looking female body.

It's not that I think Biel looks like a man or is even unattractive, but compared to many young women in Hollywood, I find her appearance to be just OK.

McAdams is someone I'd want to cuddle with and make endless love with until the morning hours.

Biel would make a good pool partner and bowling buddy. And I don't mean that she reminds me of a guy. I guess I just don't find her to be terribly SEXY.

See I guess I would have just the oppostie perspective on that. I mean a girl who can hang out with the guys and be simultaneously staggeringly hot is a good thing in my book. Hey at least both seem like they could have a real future in movies and are among the more talented young actresses working today...so it is really a win win situation.

Exactly, there's no reason why we can't be rooting for a hot hot threesome between McAdams, Biel and Johansson..

Exactly. I felt that it killed any momentum, suspense, and mystery of the first action piece.

One thing I thought was pretty funny (that I forgot to mention in my review) was the part after Biel ejects and she gives up-to-the-second details as she plunged earthward. I'm sure pilots are trained to do this, but it just seemed so goofy.

"So now I'm falling... like, really fast... there's all sorts of flaming debris... I think I'll open my chute a little lower than recommended on the safety label... yeah, still lots of flaming debris around... I can see my house from here... I'm pretty sure I like chocolate more than vanilla, but not as much as cookies 'n cream..."

I'm pretty sure it's to let whomever is listening that they didn't pull a Goose and that they haven't passed out from the extremes of falling to the Earth in a makeshift lounge chair.

For those of you that do go see it, be sure to stick around for the credits. Prepare yourself for Stealth 2- Eddy's Revenge!!

After years of ignoring it, I finally got around to watching this a few weeks back. It suffers from being generic and because the design of the planes (and their texture/coloration) makes them look ugly and fake, but I will say that it had a few rousing action beats, and a handful of moments of gleefully explosive insanity that caught my attention

 

(as well as a few inventive moments, such as the way the camera handles the moment where Josh Lucas is on the verge of blacking out from the G's during one of his runs - I felt the sense of speed and the awe at the physics involved was well captured in that moment)

 

EDIT: The flaming debris sequence with Biel worked very well I think