Walken Quotes

I think Walken's genius is his delivery. His bizarre delivery.

The Man With The Plan: Beg me, or I let you suck my dead dick in return for your life, BEG!
Jimmy 'The Saint' Tosnia: NO!
Lt. Atwater: BEG, ASSHOLE!
The Man With The Plan: Take out my dick. Atwater! Take it out. TAKE IT OUT!

Things to do in Denver When Your Dead
Walken playing the role of "The Man with the Plan"

So, anyone else want to drop out?

Same skit: "I got a fever... and the only cure is more cowbell."

The Rundown: "That's a lot of cows!"

Pulp Fiction: "The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you."

True Romance: "Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I'm a Sicilian. And my old man was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars. And from growin' up with him I learned the pantomime. Now there are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give him away. A guy has seventeen pantomimes. A woman's got twenty, but a guy's got seventeen. And if you know 'em like ya know your own face, they beat lie detectors to hell. What we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don't wanna show me nothin'. But you're tellin' me everything. Now I know you know where they are. So tell me, before I do some damage you won't walk away from."

*Edited for spelling

The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright.

As Uncle Mike in Poolhall Junkies: "You watch those nature documentaries on the cable? You see the one about lions? You got this lion. He's the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He's laying under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He's so big, it's so hot. He doesn't want to move. Now the little lions come, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn't do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him. Coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this. They start to move in. The jackals; hyenas. They're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this, then they get closer and closer, bolder and bolder. Till one day, that lion gets up and tears the shit out of everybody. Runs like the wind, eats everything in his path. Cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is."

From THE RUNDOWN:

"I feel like a little boy who's lost his first tooth, put it under his pillow, waiting for the tooth-fairy to come. Only two evil burglars have crept in my window, and snatched it, before she could get here... Wait a second, do you understand the CONCEPT of the tooth-fairy? Explain it to them... Wait. She takes the god damned thing, and gives you a quarter. They've got my tooth. I want it back."

From KING OF NEW YORK:

"I spent half my life in prison. I never got away with anything, and I never killed anybody that didn't deserve it."

From LAST MAN STANDING:

"I don't want to die in Texas. Chicago, maybe... but not Texas."

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN:

Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn't quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out. Gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse.

The Prophecy:

Gabriel- "You know how you got that dent on your top lip? Way back, before you were born, I told you a secret, then I put my finger there and I said....sshhh!"

Blast from the Past

Calvin: Son. Adam.
Adam: Yes, Father?
Calvin: Don't forget: stay out of the adult bookstore.
Adam: Adult bookstore. Why?
Calvin: Poison gas. Invisible.


A View to a Kill


Max Zorin: Intuitive improvisation is the secret of genius.

"I'm an angel. I kill newborns while their mamas watch. I turn cities into salt. And occasionally, when I feel like it, I tear little girls apart. And from now till kingdom come... the only thing you can count on... in your existence... is never understanding why."

-- The Prophecy

From WAYNE'S WORLD 2 (in response to Garth trying the "A sphincter says what?" routine):

"You want me to say 'what,' like I don't get it. Is that it? Is that it?

From TRUE ROMANCE:

"I haven't killed anybody since 1984."

"You're a cantaloupe!"

James Bond: My department know I'm here. When I don't report they'll retaliate.
Max Zorin: If you're the best they've got, they're more likely try and cover up your embarrassing incompetence.


Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: Women. Nothing surprises me Chip, except your late mother. Who'da thought Selina had a brain to damage. Bottom line, she tries to blackmail me, I'll drop her out a higher window.

"Batman Returns":

CATWOMAN: I want you blood, Max.

MAX: My blood...I gave...at the office.

"If she tries to blackmail me, I'll throw her out a higher window."-Max Schreck in Batman Returns

"Hey, You're talking to me all wrong here. It's the wrong tone. You better watch it, or I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, does your mother sew? BOOM. Get her to sew that. "-Clem in Joe Dirt

Two of my personal favourites:

"Two mice...fell..in-to...a pitcher of cream."

"Where are you GO-ing, Frank? Where...ya...goin'?!"

--Catch Me If You Can

And an SNL one:

"Wowie zowie, I pranked him to death!"

From LAST MAN STANDING;

"You're wearing a gun, right? That's good. Maybe you're the kind of guy to shoot an unarmed man in the back. Make your play."

From MOUSEHUNT:

"I've activated the Squeak Seeker 2000."

The ice, is gonna break !!

Frome the skit Connie Stinson talks on SNL, it was about guys staying away from there fat wives:

"Ladies, ladies...did you here that? He just said my face is leaving town in five minutes...Be on it."

"One way to do this would be to sew the fat hog's mouth shut."

"So you said Hey Hog, stay away from the Chunky Chews."

SNL 25th anniversary

when i host, i just say... whatever i want.
i free associate. i make up the skits and bits right there
and... people seem to enjoy it

one time... we did a sketch about a birthday party
and i decided on air that my character should have a french accent and rub himself. Julia Sweeny got very upset, VERY upset.

"One shot?"

Remember when he did the "Christopher Walken - Secrets" sketch for Conan o´Brien?
Anyone got any quotes from that?

King of New York:

"There are some things I don't do."

"I don't need forever!"

Last Man Standing:

"Better than that!"

"Don't believe everything ya hear."

Anything from At Close Range

OR any piece of dialouge in any of his films.

Batman Returns: "Yawn!"

Annie Hall--

"Can I confess something? I tell you this as an artist, I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline."

Excess Baggage--

"Am I such a bad guy? Have I hurt you? Have I shot you? In the groin?"

from an interview--

"Bear costumes are funny... Bears as well."

Walken is an entirely different beast than someone like Arnie... does anyone know if Walken ad-libs a lot? Because I would believe it if he didn't, if it only meant people saved their best dialogue for Walken.

More cowbell?

Here are a couple of my faves from the often overlooked Suicide Kings:

"A number of times, the only thing that kept me out of a satin box was that I could size up the other guy maybe half a second quicker than he could me. "

"Guys, if I don't bleed to death pretty soon, I'm gonna die of boredom. "

There are some good lines in this Walken skit on SNL.

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/95/95jstinson.phtml