CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › Drafts & Lists › The Chronicle of Annoying Children
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

The Chronicle of Annoying Children

post #1 of 52
9/21/05 at 11:56am
Thread Starter 
Dakota Fanning in WAR OF THE WORLDS - The most recent and one of the worst. Health-food eating, psychobabble-spouting, rainbow-stocking wearing shrieking little bundle of piss! Nearly ruined the whole damn movie.

Vanessa Lee Chester from THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK - I want to slap her when she comes running up squealing "Dad-Dad-DAD-DAD-DAD!"
Reply
post #2 of 52
9/21/05 at 12:11pm
Edward Furlong in Terminator 2 -- Not only did he never act before (and it showed), he was going through puberty and he screeched half his lines. The other half he whined.

"No fate but the one we make...That's it! She's going after Dyson. She's going to blow him AWAAAAAAY!"

My cat runs out of the room after that caterwaul.

Jake Llyod in Phantom Menace -- One word..."YIPPIE!!!"
Reply
post #3 of 52
9/21/05 at 1:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
Edward Furlong in Terminator 2 -- Not only did he never act before (and it showed), he was going through puberty and he screeched half his lines. The other half he whined.

"No fate but the one we make...That's it! She's going after Dyson. She's going to blow him AWAAAAAAY!"

"Are you calling MOI a dipshit?" actually makes me feel irrational rage and nausea.

Don't get the Dakota Fanning hate Werbal, she actually impressed me in that film.

I'd offer up Mara Wilson, the unctuous little twat who plays the youngest in Mrs. Doubtfire. Dear God Christ its so syrupy you put on 10 pounds just watching it - or you would if you weren't vomiting. I went too far.
Reply
post #4 of 52
9/21/05 at 1:23pm
Joseph Mazzello in Jurassic Park.

I wanted to cheer when that little bastard got zapped by the electric fence, and I wanted to cry when Grant got him breathing again.
Reply
post #5 of 52
9/21/05 at 1:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil Connors
"Are you calling MOI a dipshit?" actually makes me feel irrational rage and nausea.
Ha! That's the perfect description of the feelings I have towards Furlong's performance.

Also, on a side note, I must have Arrested Development on the brain because everytime I see this thread's subject title I get excited to post in a thread about Annyong.
Reply
post #6 of 52
9/21/05 at 1:44pm
Danny Pintauro in Cujo - After listening to him scream in the car for more than 5 minutes, we started rooting for the Dog.

Michael Oliver in Problem Child 1 and 2 - Never even saw this dreck, but the previews alone made me wish death upon him (and the producers of these films).

Tami Erin in The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking - The little Red-headed witch with a smile that makes Jack as the Joker in Batman look relatively normal.
Reply
post #7 of 52
9/21/05 at 1:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Death Surge
Michael Oliver in Problem Child 1 and 2 - Never even saw this dreck, but the previews alone made me wish death upon him (and the producers of these films).
To be fair, that kid was supposed to be annoying in those films. He was perfectly cast.
Reply
post #8 of 52
9/21/05 at 1:54pm
Ariana Richards from Jurassic Park. Why did you turn that flashlight on you dumb bitch!
Reply
post #9 of 52
9/21/05 at 4:52pm
No one is worse than the annoying little girl from THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT.
Reply
post #10 of 52
9/21/05 at 6:32pm
The little girl in the POLTERGEIST films. She didn't even have the decency to grow up and pose for "Playboy."
Reply
post #11 of 52
9/21/05 at 10:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
The little girl in the POLTERGEIST films. She didn't even have the decency to grow up and pose for "Playboy."
Your kidding right?

Heather o' Rourke died when she was only 12-years-old.
Reply
post #12 of 52
9/21/05 at 10:45pm
That's why it's funny.

Too soon?
Reply
post #13 of 52
9/21/05 at 11:14pm
Barrett Oliver's Bastian is the buzz-killer in The Neverending Story.
"That can't be happening! This isn't real, it's a story!"
Reply
post #14 of 52
9/21/05 at 11:41pm
Short Fucking Round.
Reply
post #15 of 52
9/22/05 at 1:30am
Nooooo! I love Short Round. "Dr. Jones! Dr. Jones! Sounds like fortune cookies."
Reply
post #16 of 52
9/22/05 at 11:52am
Thread Starter 
I was wondering how long it would take this thread to devolve into debating the pros and cons of Short Round.

And for the record, I like Short Round.
Reply
post #17 of 52
9/22/05 at 12:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werbal_Kint
I was wondering how long it would take this thread to devolve into debating the pros and cons of Short Round.

And for the record, I like Short Round.
I regularly shout "You call him Dr. Jones!!" in completely inappropriate, usually drunken situations. Short Round rules. Sorry, r00lzz. 1.
Reply
post #18 of 52
9/22/05 at 3:21pm
The Olsen twins on Full House. "You got it, dude".

Cute babies, annoying kids, troll-looking adults.

"The doggie ate my ouce-cream".

Didn't Kimmie Gibler grow up to do porn in real life?
Reply
post #19 of 52
9/22/05 at 3:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werbal_Kint
Dakota Fanning in WAR OF THE WORLDS - The most recent and one of the worst. Health-food eating, psychobabble-spouting, rainbow-stocking wearing shrieking little bundle of piss! Nearly ruined the whole damn movie.

Vanessa Lee Chester from THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK - I want to slap her when she comes running up squealing "Dad-Dad-DAD-DAD-DAD!"

I disagree about Dakota Fanning...her role actually worked in WOTW..but I agree 100% about Vanessa CHester from Lost World: Most annoyning kid in the history of cinema. Not only annoyning but terminally stupid.
I liked Short Round in "Temple of Doom". I think it is the weakest of the Jones films, but not because of Short Round.
Reply
post #20 of 52
9/22/05 at 3:34pm
I submit to you:

The entire child cast of Cheaper by the Dozen.

If ever there was a reason for corporal punishment, this family is it.

Watching this movie made me want to beat my kids.
Reply
post #21 of 52
9/22/05 at 8:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by wadew1
No one is worse than the annoying little girl from THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT.
Oh, if it were up to me you'd win a no prize. That lisp makes my skin crawl.

"Get up mommy! Thtop being thuch a baby! Life ith pain!"

Holy shit that was awful.


Add to that list the entire cast of "Kindergarten Cop" and "Billy Madison"

But maybe they get a pass because they were lousy kid actors in lousy movies...
Reply
post #22 of 52
9/22/05 at 10:35pm
I bet that kid that said "I bet it's a tumor" grew up to front an emo band.
Reply
post #23 of 52
9/23/05 at 9:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grofield
Randolph, you can move your hate for Giovanni Frezza over to this thread.
It´s his voice that makes him so annoying, i heard that they used a woman(!) to dub his voice in House by the Cemetery.

The worst "child" actor ever, is Peter Bark!
I´d give my left arm to find out what happened to him, is he still alive?
His role in Burial Ground still gives me the creeps!
I wish i could unsee that film.
Reply
post #24 of 52
9/23/05 at 11:45am
I hope this thread stays alive for another month. I have no doubt the kid from the new Zorro movie will make this list.
Reply
post #25 of 52
9/23/05 at 11:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
That's why it's funny.

Too soon?
Seriously, that's about as funny as making fun of cancer victims, would you do that? Yes, I think you would if you got an autographed picture of Dolph out of it.
Reply
post #26 of 52
9/23/05 at 7:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grofield
I could believe it. If you've ever seen any of those Swedish Pippi Longstocking movies (long overdue for DVD release, by the way), you'll be quite sure that all of the kids were dubbed by adults. It sounds ridiculous.
I live in Sweden actually, so i´ve seen them undubbed, lucky me.

Quote:
Frezza's annoying, but I find him pretty funny in those Fulci flicks for both his facial expressions and the lousy dubbing (though I can't imagine he'd be much better if they had used his actual voice).
House by the Cemetery is my favourite Fulci film(along with The Beyond) and although i think Frezza´s dubbed voice is annoying i think it adds a lot, it´s part of films charm.

Quote:
Continuing in the Italian schlock vein, little David Colin Jr. in the BEYOND THE DOOR flicks (the second being Mario Bava's in-name-only sequel, originally titled SHOCK) proves to be an incredibly irritating child actor, though he's creepy when he needs to be. Love the moment in the Bava film when he starts dry-humping his mother, played by Daria Nicolodi. That's one of the sickest instances of Italian incest exploitation, aside of the Peter Bark stuff in BURIAL GROUND. Which is the perfect transition to...
Daria Niccolodi mentions Beyond the Door in the book Profondo Argento, i think.
She says that it´s one of favourite films.
Seems interesting, i´ve only seen the films she did together with Dario Argento.

Quote:
Actually, he wasn't a kid -- he was an adult midget. This info was on an interview with the actress who plays his mother (the one who gets her breast bitten off, forgetting her name) on the Shriek Show DVD. She also says that it was Bark's only film appearance, and has no idea what occupation he went into after that.
Yes i know he´s not a real child, the people who made Burial Ground weren´t able to use a real kid due to the incest-themes in the film, so they had to use an adult who looked like a kid.
But is Peter Bark really a midget? I thought he had some disese that stunted his growth, hence his freakish looks.
Reply
post #27 of 52
9/23/05 at 11:34pm
The kid in Godzilla vs Megalon. Of course, as has been mentioned with another kid, I believe it's the horrible dub job that really puts the icing of aggravation on the character. I've managed to see other Godzilla films undubbed, but never that one. Because really, how good could it be in its original tongue?

Does Son of Godzilla count as an annoying kid, by the way? Because I really hate him.

And I'm so happy to hear other people don't like Edward Furlong in Terminator 2. I still count his casting as being Cameron's biggest mistake. He fails to sell every scene he's in. And while we're shitting on fan-religion Cameron films, I'd like to submit that Carrie Henn really wasn't very good in Aliens either. Mostly.

And anybody who bad-mouths Short Round will answer to me. That kid is the king of all Indy sidekicks.
Reply
post #28 of 52
9/24/05 at 11:33am
Freddie Boath in THE MUMMY RETURNS.

"Mum, Dad...I can explain everything."

Little fuck.

And, hey, Short Round wasn't so bad. "I very little! You cheat very big!" Plus he punched out that little Maharajah nancy-boy.
Reply
post #29 of 52
9/24/05 at 12:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon Ma
Seriously, that's about as funny as making fun of cancer victims, would you do that? Yes, I think you would if you got an autographed picture of Dolph out of it.
Now, now, take a step back for a second. Making fun of dead celebrities, young and old, will always be more classy than making fun of cancer victims (unless they are famous).

But if that sort of material offends you I should probably inform you that over the next few weeks I plan on making a lot of cracks that involve the Lindbergh baby, so brace for impact.

Another annoying kid: That freaky child (maybe teenager) from NEAR DARK. What's his deal?
Reply
post #30 of 52
9/24/05 at 10:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werbal_Kint
Dakota Fanning in WAR OF THE WORLDS - The most recent and one of the worst. Health-food eating, psychobabble-spouting, rainbow-stocking wearing shrieking little bundle of piss! Nearly ruined the whole damn movie.
Gotta disagree with you there, the stuff you just listed was what made the character and the movie more interesting. It was irritating, but somehow the character was annoying in a good way, it added a sort of fun element.

My vote goes to the creepy little boy in The Ring. He didn't talk much but everything he did say made him sound like a little know it all, every time he called his mom by her first name I wanted to punch him. The fact that that kid looks like a 60 year old man and has the eyes of a zombie doesn't help.
Reply
post #31 of 52
9/29/05 at 6:05pm
The kids in Billy Madison I thought were quite decent most 4th graders I work with talk exactly like the kid with the glasses and the leo haircut, and that fat kid was hillarious.

The girl who played Lucy in the BBC adaption of the Narnia almost ruins the whole BBC charm of the thing, chubby, winey, spoiled middle class english girl is not who lucy is, the rest of the kids were good, and the boy who played peter particulary so.

The girl in a Three Men and Little Lady come to mind as well, almost ruins the whole homesexul undeppinings of the movie
Reply
post #32 of 52
9/30/05 at 9:31am
Agreed on the Kid from the Mummy Returns AND frickin Newt "they come out at night...mostly".

Much as i love the film I found Chunk Pretty anoying in the Goonies.
Reply
post #33 of 52
9/30/05 at 10:45pm
That was the whole point of Chunk.





Wasn't it?
Reply
post #34 of 52
10/1/05 at 2:44am
I know everyone hates Jake Lloyd in Phantom Menace but I don't think that film gets enough flak for that little ginger asshole in the pod-racer scene, "Come on lets go play ball", I'll play ball with your head you shit!!! On the other hand, I thought the kid who played Anakin's friend was pretty okay.

And, being a Kiwi, I find (as do most NZers) the Maori kid who played Boba in AOTC hilarious. "Get him dad, get him!! FIYAAAAHHH!!" Hard case.
Reply
post #35 of 52
10/5/05 at 5:09pm
How about the kid who played David's "brother" (Monica's real kid...I never bothered to learn his name) in A.I., or any of his little shit friends that came to his birthday party. Especially the one kid who starts poking and caressing David's chest and saying, "That's...that's so creepy!" Stick to Sunny D commercials, kid.
Reply
post #36 of 52
10/6/05 at 1:07am
That little kid who gets shot in the original Assault On Precinct 13. I was so glad when the fucker got shot, damn kid deserved it.

Any kid who says "hey, mister!" Ever.
Reply
post #37 of 52
10/10/05 at 1:43am
Quote:
Dakota Fanning in WAR OF THE WORLDS - The most recent and one of the worst. Health-food eating, psychobabble-spouting, rainbow-stocking wearing shrieking little bundle of piss! Nearly ruined the whole damn movie.
The only way the movie could have been completely saved, I thought at least, is if she'd been made into Martian fertilizer.

However Fanning is quite good in other films. Strangely, she only really irks me in that role.
Reply
post #38 of 52
10/15/05 at 10:05pm
I couldn't agree more about Jake Lloyd. He's even worse on the special features of Episode 1, revealed to be a total brat.
Reply
post #39 of 52
10/25/05 at 6:03pm
peyton manning easily tops the list for annoying fucking kid in a movie.... I have never been so annoyed in my life...except the house by the cemetary kid..... but that was just funny.... peyton's shrill scream makes me glad I don't have a little girl....shut up you little pissant!!! Not to mention that movie sucked ballz..... what kind of alien (just like in that shamalan movie) wouldn't research the crap out of a planet before going there and breathing the air? what are you idiots?,,,you have the technology.....wtf!!! you nincompoops!!!
Reply
post #40 of 52
2/19/06 at 4:27am
The most grating ones ever to me are Blaze and Sky Berdahl, while sharing the role of Ellie Creed in Pet Sematary. Every damn scene featuring Ellie=absolutely nothing but incessant whining from either, and she/they...whatever...were in way too many of them.

She/They/IT-damn near killed the whole movie for me.
Reply
post #41 of 52
2/19/06 at 6:07am
I hate that bleach haired bespectacled little prick from Jerry Maquire.
When i first saw T2 as a kid, i pretended that Furlong wasn't shit to protect myself from admitting the film wasn't very good.
He is shit.
Reply
post #42 of 52
2/20/06 at 10:20am
Furlong stinks, Short Round rules and that red headed- ginger freak show fucker Ron from "Harry Potter" ruined the first film for me. I've seen the sequels and he's not so annoying, but the first film is asstastic because of him.
Reply
post #43 of 52
2/20/06 at 3:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ben3man
peyton manning easily tops the list for annoying fucking kid in a movie.... I have never been so annoyed in my life...except the house by the cemetary kid..... but that was just funny.... peyton's shrill scream makes me glad I don't have a little girl....shut up you little pissant!!! Not to mention that movie sucked ballz..... what kind of alien (just like in that shamalan movie) wouldn't research the crap out of a planet before going there and breathing the air? what are you idiots?,,,you have the technology.....wtf!!! you nincompoops!!!
Perhaps my joke-o-meter is malfunctioning (and if so, forgive me), but "Peyton Manning"? Like the quarterback/wunderkind/golden boy of the Indianapolis Colts? Now that I would like to see.

Also, anybody smack-talking either Short Round or the Goonies will be dealt a swift kick in the nuts. Please continue with the Edward Furlong hate, however. Also, that little kid from The New Nightmare (I seem to recall that he was another Full House reject)... I hate that little bastard. Oh shit, didn't he also play Gage in Pet Semetary? Shudder.
Reply
post #44 of 52
2/26/06 at 4:30pm
Seth Green in Can't Buy Me Love (he must have just been reaching teenager status). I don't really remember the specifics of his performance, only my burning desire to smack the smugness off his wisecracking little face.
Reply
post #45 of 52
3/2/06 at 3:29pm
VANESSA LEE CHESTER, NO FUCKING DOUBT!

Not only is she an annoying and pretty fucking ugly kid (which is weird, because cute kid sidekicks are usually, well... cute), she is the only person in the movie to succeed in KILLING A RAPTOR! (Possibly the only human in the entire series?)
Reply
post #46 of 52
3/2/06 at 3:40pm
That friggin' spoon-wielding kid from Mimic.

Kept wishing for him to jump on the third rail and light up like the NY skyline- possibly have an arm or leg burst off.

Bastard completely ruined the movie for me.
Reply
post #47 of 52
3/3/06 at 12:13am
The kid from Last Action Hero is brutal.
Reply
post #48 of 52
3/23/06 at 5:37pm
The movie was already a waste of time, but that little Aryan baby saying "ice-whoooo" every 10 minutes for a laugh in Meet the Fockers made me want to strangle every baby I saw for 3 weeks.

Then I finally strangled one and got it out of my system.
Reply
post #49 of 52
5/6/07 at 2:29am

Did I miss it

Or has nobody said Jake Lloyd (young Anakin Skywalker) from Star Wars Phantom Menace?

He is in my opinion the worst because not only was he an annoying child actor, but his total sucky-ness did alot of damage to a movie universe that I really like.
Reply
post #50 of 52
5/6/07 at 3:54am
All of the fucking Hobbits.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Drafts & Lists
CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › Drafts & Lists › The Chronicle of Annoying Children