Great Lines To Shout At Inappropriate Opportunites

A local talk radio guy frequently plays a sample of Pacino's "You fairy!"

That's a good one.

If you're gonna be doing Pacino's Ricky Roma lines, Rath, you've got to nail the inflection (as in his staccato reading of "Lemme-buy-ya-pack-a-gum-show-ya-how-ta-chew-it") or add the odd little gestures that add that certain je ne sais quoi (like that thumbs-up he adds the end of "How fucked-UP you are").

As I've said in the past, I love Ed Harris' ultra-frustrated "BIG DEAL [perfectly timed pause] FUCK YOU!" in GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS. And Baldwin's "Put. That coffee. Down" always grabs people's attention. Especially if they are not holding coffee at the time.

Walken lines are always fun to bellow at unexpected moments, and I'm quite partial to THE DEAD ZONE's "The ICE...is gonna BREAK!"

Bill Murray is the other great source of seeming non sequiturs. I've been known to say things like "You're gonna get a part because you look like Peggy Lee, but I don't want anyone else to resent that" (from ED WOOD) or "Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual" (from STRIPES) just for yuks.

Speaking of Murray quotes, I often find myself shouting out "Let's hear you call Boris Karloff a cocksucker" at the most inopportune times.

Ok, maybe not THAT often. But I do use a plethora of Ghotbustery-related lines ("Nice shootin', Tex!").

Always inappropiate is the "Mein Fuhrer, I can walk" which I like to spout way too much.

When drunk, I've been known to loudly go into the John Goodman speech from Revenge of the Nerds. "When you were a baby, in your crib... (Very loudly) You got beat by a bunch of Nerds. NERDS."

I think inappropriate movie quotes make up at least a quarter of my every day speech.

My favorites:

"Do you have any idea how that can FUCK with you mind? FUCK with your mind? FUCK with you mind? FUCK with your mind?" - Seed of Chucky

"Dogs fucked the pope...uhhhhh...no fault of mine..." - Fear and Loathing

"Wait, we can't stop here, this is bat country!" - Fear and Loathing

"There's a...big machine in the sky...some kind of...electric snake...coming right for us." - Fear and Loathing

"Please tell me, how exactly does one suck a fuck?" - Donnie Darko

"Viddy well little brother, viddy well." - Clockwork Orange

"Okay! You are now firing a gun at your invisible friend in front of 400 pounds of nitroglycerin!" - Fight Club

"You can't just take someone's knife!" - Gia

"How's that for a slice of fried gold?" - Shaun of the Dead

"Your produce alone was worth the trip." - K-Pax

"Are we...are we smokin' dog shit man?" - Cheech and Chong Up In Smoke

"What the fuck B, this was your idea. If you don't like your own ideas stop having them!" - Ginger Snaps

"I AM NOT AN ANIMAL! I am not an animal...I am a HUMAN BEING! *whimper softly*" - The Elephant Man


Okay, I have to stop now before I hurt myself.

One I've used myself on many occasions is:
"Cock Gobblers!" - Michael Bolton in Office Space

I can assure you, it's almost never appropriate.

"Excuse me whilst I whip this out."

"Are you threatening me, Master Jedi?"

More Glengarry goodness that lives in my daily vocabulary:

"You think I'm fucking with you? [pause just long enough that they think they have to answer] I am not fucking with you."

"Where did you learn your trade, you fucking cunt?"

Also, the way Pacino says "Buh-bee". I love that. I use that often at the end of sentances, especially when I'm trying to get across how annoying someone is being.

When someone mentions something in a manner that's supposed to be entirely dismissive of said thing, I normally interject "Hey! I got the SHIT kicked outta me in Wisconson!" Even though most of the time, Wisconson has nothing to do with the conversation.

My current favorite phrase to use all the time:

"You fat bitch!" - Redd Foxx in Harlem Nights

I seriously find myself saying this at least 10 times a day.

"Why don't we pitch it to the Franklin Fuckin' Mint?"

"Find the Halfling!"

Whenever you've lost a short friend of yours'.

Those little mighty Duck fucks- Whenever im about to hit a 9 year old skateboarder

"Motherfucker you out of you goddamn mind?"- Blade

If someone won't shut up about something I always add:
"But these go to 11."

If someone is complaining about their job I always say "With great power, comes great responsability."

"Laugha whilea youa cana monkey-boy."

"I ain't been fucked like that since grade-school."

I always enjoyed "Put down the fucking gun, Tre'." and "Listen... you smell something?".

But favorites always come from Snatch.
"He's our get-a-way driver. What the *fuck* can he get away from?"
"Do you know what 'nemesis' means?"
"What do you mean 'Open him up'? He's not a fucking tin of baked beans, Avi."
"And it's worth...fuck all"

"Bling blao!"

For as little as I have seen the movie, I've found that I quote Fear and Loathing ALOT. These are my staples though:

"Tally ho, for fuck's sake!"
"Are you a Communist?"

Also, whenever I switch something out for something else, I use the oft-forgotten line from The Goonies, "I've got marbles!" My friends will give me a "What the hell?" look.

"Death comes to us all, Oroko Saki, but something much much worse waits for you, for when you die it will be...without honour." - TMNT

"Bitches leave!" - Robocop

"My name is Lolita, daddy says I'm not supposed to play with boys!" - Let's Make Love (Best done in a french accent with stupid dance moves)

"You want a little advice. Don't point your fuckin' finger at crazy people!" - Girl Interrupted

"Love me...play with me. Don't be sad...Don't be sad." - Girl Interrupted (must be done in a squeaky voice while using your hand as a puppet.)

"Benway!"

From Naked Lunch, usually used as a triumphant victory yell when one of us ("us" being myself and two other friends) makes a particularly awful shot at pool; also we want things to be done "reeal tasty", or "It's time for our William Tell routine." We like that movie.

Also Fear and Loathing, whatever quotes come to mind, Star Wars, Jurassic Park ("I like cows?"), Aliens, Reservoir Dogs... Actually pretty much every movie we own gets quoted. We have entire conversations made up entirely of movie quotes.


It's no wonder people hate us.

By the way, watch where you use "Mein Furher, I can walk!". I was accused of being "sympathetic to the Nazi cause" in high school for saying that. True story.

Two of my favorites. Both are dependant on the situation. You need to be talking to two or more people and when an outsider walks up, before they can catch anything that is said you throw out either

"... that's how I got crabs for the second time." Supertroopers
or
"... and that's why you always wash anal beads." Evil Cult or Cult of the evil dead or some other low budget horror movie.

the looks you get with the second one are uniformely awesome.

I almost got beat up over that one at a party one time. To add insult to injury, no one got the reference.

The outside world just doesn't understand us, man.

How did you almost get beat up for that? It isn't any more offensive than any of the stupid things people usually say at parties.

Used (unfortunatly) at least once a day:

"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw" - Heathers

"I used to fuck guys like you in Prison" - RoadHouse

"I will gouge out your eyes and skull fuck you...." - Full Metal Jacket.

More Heathers, which gets me in trouble with all kinds of friends, is "I love my dead gay son."

Fear and Loathing, I find myself yelling "You're not Portuguese" a lot, or "Let's get down to the brass tacks here. How much for the monkey."

Or, in any sexual discussion is the classic "Daddy says I'm the best". That line is never, I repeat, never appropriate.

I've used that on many an occasion. Preceded by the "Whoa, whoa, WHOA..!!", of course

The first one that popped into my head when I saw the thread was from 'Changing Lanes'. When Samuel L. is talking to the loan officer; "But I need this loan.....for MY LIFE!"

My friend and I used to spout this one any chance we got-- substituting the 'loan' in question for whatever it was we needed at the time, as in; "I need this beer....FOR MY LIFE!!!!"

"I don't like your meat, anyway."

Fear and Loathing quotes are great because they are never appropriate. Even as they appear in the movie.

Although it's a bit played-out, I can still have quite a bit of fun with "I am Jack's..." from Fight Club. The key is to constantly come up with new and elaborate things to finish it off. Like "I am Jack's raging alcoholism" or "I am Jack's fascination with Danish animal porn."

It's nice also to spout Jackson's ridiculous (and yet somehow still memorable) repetition of the same line while standing on a curb in Changing Lanes. It will completely derail the conversation and no one will get the reference and they might even take you seriously:

"I want you to give my TIME back. Can you give me my TIME BACK? Can you give MY TIME back to me?"

His performance was the only good thing about that movie.

"Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit!"

I usually use that part....

Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this?" -Pulp Fiction


"You need to set your motherfucker to "receive"..... - Spartan

almost every time i get bored at a pub: Bazooko's Circus is what the world would be doing every Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich. Raoul Duke:

A few I like to use:

"Kneel before Zod!"

"This party's over!" (Mace Windu)- I love using this one when I am putting the lid back on a can of Party Nuts around Christmas time.

"We are nihilists! We believe in nothing!" -Big Lebowski

"You will taste the black sperm of vengeance" - a line written by Ebert for Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. Can't remember which character says it, it might be Z-Man.

Ah, Russ, we miss ya.

Showing my age here, but whenever the latest whine-rock single from Simple Plan or who-the-fuck-ever comes on the radio, I'm inclined to pull out my Don Vito Corleone impression and bellow "YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN! What's the matter with you?" and then do Brando's mock-weep. Cheers me up instantly.

"Whores don't get second chances."

Another favorite. Often very inappropriate.

"He could fall on a shiv; or my dick..."

Out of Sight

"Simon says we get the fuck out of here!"

House of the Dead

"Gimme back my son!" - shouted into the phone by Mel in Ransom

""Gedown" - any Arnold movie but I seem to remember the one from Last Action Hero the most

Great way to get laid.

"We just got all excited, because reading's fundamental and shit." - Out of Sight

"Let's get down to brass tacks. How much for the ape?" - Fear & Loathing

"Da Breeeedge ees ouut!" - True Lies

"Back off, man. I'm a scientist." - Ghostbusters

I'll second the "scientist" quote from Ghostbusters. Other group favourites from there include "Yes, it's true. This man has no dick." and "I'm gonna get YOU a nice fruit basket-I am gonna MISS him."

One bizarre quote that's made its way into regular circulation amongst my friends is from The Rundown. If someone seems to have no idea what one of us is talking about, we now bellow "Do you UNDERSTAND....the CONCEPT...of the TOOTH fairy?" in the style of Christopher Walken. Not sure how that one came about,

Another Ghostbusters line but one I use a lot especially if someone is trying something they think is clever.

"This reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head"

I also tend to use "Apple Sauce Bitch!" when killing someone on Halo.

Oh and to compleatly freak out strangers my friend and I walk up to each other and scream "Where is the Microfilm!" followed by a fake face slap.

Gotta love old spy movies for random quotes.

Not technically a film quote, but just you try dropping "No deal, McCutcheon, that Moon Money is mine!" from The Simpsons into a random conversation. Works every time.

Or you could say it the way Tim Curry says it in Loaded Weapon ... "Where is the MEEcrofilm?"

Or simply knock on someones door and call "Weeeldernesss girls"

HUUUNGYAAAA!!!!- Arnold, pretty much everything from 1981-1994.

Not quite a quote, but anytime someone talks about anything supernatural, I try to look shocked and ask if they are bulimic. Along similar lines:

"TASTE MY PAIN, BITCH!" - For such a great line, rarely appropriate in social situations.

When my brother and I used to work at our family video store in the early 90s we used to have to listen to the trailer tape. One of the movie trailers we heard for months and months was for THE CLIENT. Tommy Lee Jones..."A man dies by his own hand..!" We repeated that one a lot. It was used in almost every situation.

"Hans . . . Boobie . . . I'm your white knight."

". . . and the flowers are still standing!"