Great Lines To Shout At Inappropriate Opportunites - Page 2

More. . .

Damn near anything from Addams Family Values. I love that movie:

"I have seen the evil! I have seen the horror! I have seen the unholy maggots which feast on the dark recesses of the human soul!"
"They're at camp."

"MAL-I-BU Bar-Bie. ."

". . .and I'll play the victim."
"All your life."

Also, I always use the Jay and Silent Bob "Good Will Hunting 2" line:

"I don't like the sound of them apples, Will. What are we gonna do?"

I had forgotten about Addams Family Values. That was good stuff.

Recently, I've extracted much amusement from quoting Spartan around people who have never seen it.

I like spout out "Law Dog!" at any given opportunity (from "Tombstone").

"Pure Science-Fiction!" (from Zombie 3)

"Get to da choppa!" (from Predator) I love to mangle the hell out of "choppa" w/ a severe faux-Austrian drawl: "CHopaaLala!!!"

and, the most questionable (tasteless) of the bunch: "Oooh! You've got a tight faggot asshole...are you bleeding!? (from Irreversible).

"Yo! You just got SERVED!"

During the climax of THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST.

Fulci would be proud.

ANYTHING from The Princess Bride. At any time. To any one. Marvelous how that movie has such rich and always relevant dialog.

Not really shouted and usually quite appropriate, but I couldn't miss the opportunity to mention my tendency to mutter "What the hell?" a la the old truck driver at the start of THE TERMINATOR.

If you are ever bemused or befuddled by anything, these words tend to clear everything up.

After watching Ghostbusters again last night I have to add,

"Yes its true, this man has no Peins".

"He was licking me, HE WAS LICKING ME!" from Ravenous.
Try shouting that in public, you´ll get some surprised looks, i can guarantee that.

"laugh it up fuzzball"

Is that congenital?

From "Fear and loathing in Las Vegas":

-You better take care of me, Lord. If you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.
-Last name? I'd rather not say. My brother's in politics.
-Is this not a reasonable place to park?
-Dogs fucked the Pope, no fault of mine.
-Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?

And my favorites for daily use, from "Aqua teen Hunger Force" (TV, but so what?):
-Do what now?
-You don't own space, so stop acting like you do
-Hey, good luck with the casual sex. I mean it. No. Because you won't get it. Not with that name.
-This is not a fight. This is a WAR!
-Oh, no! Do *not* include me in this! The Lord does *not* need to know that I am here!
-I'd like to take this time to point out that I'm a repeated sex offender

Often when I eat chocolate I smack it around in my mouth and declare: "Mmm. Much too good for children."

One from Fear and Loathing that has been overlooked:

"Jesus Christ! Tell me about the fucking golf shoes!"

I'm also fond of: "Did you see what God just did to us, man?!"

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
-Don Logan

WHERE ALL THE WHITE WOMEN AT?
-Bart

WHY? BECAUSE IT FEELS SO DAMN GOOD.
-Benny

Quoting randomly from movies occupies about 78% of most of my conversations. Probably why nobody knows what the fuck I'm talking about.

SPARTAN is a really great one to quote, because it's just so workable. For instance, yesterday it was fairly warm, and today it was cloudy and cold. I'm talking to someone, and she says she hates it living in Texas because she can't figure out what to wear, the weather being so unpredictable and so forth. So I come back with "You better watch the weather, baby, because it's going to change." Love that line. Another occasion I'm driving with a couple of people down the highway, one of the people points out a sign to a new theater. The driver leans, looks out, and says, "Oh, I see the sign there." I immediately say, "Then you are truly blessed."

THE DEPARTED is great for inappropriateness. One of my personal favorites is Alec Baldwin's "PATRIOT AAAACT!!!" or, if walking away from a table where people are eating, "Enjoy your clams, cocksuckers."

Also great for any group project/meeting is Paul Giamatti's "Are we pulling a con, or doing a rendition of Our Town?!"

The Ring and Fast and The Furious

I used to hang out with a friend and we'd say these lines out of context whenever we could.

From The Ring:

"Your daddy loves you."

"Daddy loves the horses..."


And about the only few things I want to remember from Fast and the Furious:

"Let's go! Ménage à!"

"NOOOOOO!!! MONICAAAAA!!!!


Also... this is not a movie, but I've been quoting or talking like Futurama's Hedonism-bot a lot lately.

"Courtesans and Gentlefops!!!"

I am the proud owner of the Xtra Salty R. Lee Ermey doll which speaks around 10 classic lines of his. He says this one all the time. Quite possibly the greatest toy ever.

JS

"Big Bada Boom!" - The Fifth Element
"Mulllllltiiiiiiiipaaaaaaaaasssssssssssss" - The Fifth Element
"Maybe...maybe not...maybe go fuck yourself." - The Departed
"No more parachute!" - Temple of Doom (used similarly to "We're gonna need a bigger boat)
"You ever have your sheeeeeeeeet pushed in?" - Training Day
"Nothing beats Mug-Wump jism" - Naked Lunch
"Head or Gut?" - The Last Boy Scout
"This town needs an enema!" - Batman
"...annnnd my hobbit, that turns the wheel, that's depressed. I'm gonna need a new hobbit" - Aqua Teen Hunger Force
"Ooo sleet, my favorite!" - Love and Death
"I'm going to shoot you so hard you shit a gun!" - Super Shooter
"Thanks for meeting me here....AT THE QUARRY." - Super Shooter
""When I woke up this morning, you know what I had for breakfast?... You." - Super Shooter
"...and two hard boiled eggs." - A Night at the Opera (to be placed at the end of any long list)
"But where did the lighter fluid come from?" - Arrested Development (whenever someone takes the wind out of my sails)
"Oy, keep your finger out me soup!" - Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (in the place of "mind your own business")

Actually I think it's, "We just got all excited, reading this fundamentalist shit."
I'm pretty sure that's it.


I've got a few, the first of which I'm reluctant to admit to:

- Whenever somebody asks me to do anything:

"I'm right on top of that, Rose." (DON'T TELL MOM THE BABYSITTER'S DEAD)


- When you get into an argument:

"Oh really, (person's name?) Why pretend? We both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion." (AIRPLANE!)


- To add to the Ricky Roma love, good for use at pretty much any time, but particularly when observing the weather:

"WET. Out there. TO-night."

"It was SO HOT, the GROWN men were walkin' up to COPS on the street, and BEGGIN' 'EM to shoot 'em."


EDIT to add: It's probably overplayed, but I occasionally dabble in some Brick Tamland:

"I'd like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party."

"LOUD NOI-SES!"

The Business - "Two beers please and i suppose sucking me cock is out of the question?"

"Anyone order a c*nt..." Is fucking funny, just waiting for the right moment to use it

Throwing any random quote by Mamet is a nice way of confusing people...

"In the city there is always a refelection, in the woods always a sound."

"the only man who ever saw him call on Jesus"

"Everybody needs money, That's why they call it money."

I can't tell you how many times I've used this line to describe why I love Mamet so much to people who've never heard of him (that's a whole 'nother thread; a surprising amount of people don't know), and I always get blank responses. "I don't get it." HEIST isn't a great movie, but even Mamet's lesser stuff is filled with great lines like that.


And the "Jesus" line from SPARTAN is so brilliant in context, for what it tells you about Scott's relationship to Avi (aka the Chinaman).

SPARTAN, GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS, HEIST, HOUSE OF GAMES, etc., anything by Mamet is a quote factory.

"I need you to take me to the tall corn!" --Val Kilmer
"Take his eye out." --ditto
"Don't whisper, it draws heat."
"You're a stone cold whoremaster."
"FUCK YOU, THAT'S MY NAME!" --Alec Baldwin
"I'm from the United States of Kiss My Ass!" --Joe Mantegna
"I want a blow job." --William H. Macy

I agree that HEIST isn't a great movie, but it was one of my original exposures to Mamet so I look fondly on it, and it's at least entertaining if not as literate as his other stuff. And it has a great ensemble cast to boot.

Oh, hey, don't get me wrong. I loves me some HEIST.

The cool thing about Mamet is he doesn't fuck around with his popcorn stuff. There's room for THE WINSLOW BOY, there's room for THE EDGE.

My favourite line to whip out at inopportune times comes from Good Will Hunting.

Me: "It's not your fault!"

Other Person: "Huh?"

Me (as I edge slowly towards him): "It's not your fault... It's not your fault... It's not you fault!"

I end the bit by hugging him warmly... works extra well if this is someone you just met 5 minutes prior.

"BASTARD... BASTARD... BASTARD" - Pieces.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNhzELCH_u8

The "Fuck you, Fuck You, Fuck You, Fuck You, You're cool, Fuck you, I'm out of here" bit from Half Baked

"You call yourself a salesman you son of a bitch?!" - Glengarry Glenn Ross

"I'm not even mad, in fact I'm IMPRESSED" and "You know I don't speak Spanish" - Anchorman

"What filthy piece of shit, did I do now?" - LEON

"Righty-O Man, Righty-O." - Fear and Loathing

"Dogs and cats living together, Mass Hysteria!" - Ghostbusters

"I go after dildos that don't pay their bills" - Repo Man

"Mind if I have some of this delcious beverage to wash (Love how Sam Jackson says it) down this tasty burger? - Pulp Fiction

and in regards to simpsons another great random line to say

"That wasn't part of our deal Blackhart. THAT WASN'T PARRRRTTTTTTTTTTT!"

Just remembered another hilarious one from Glengarry:

"YOU'VE GOT THE MEMORY OF A FUCKIN' FLY!!!"

Always like to drop this one from "Chasing Amy" when meeting up with friends:

"Well look at this morose motherfucker right here."

"Hey Baybee, you got girlfriend in Vietnam?"

Oh, and whenever there is a problem with a copier, fax machine or printer at work, I break out this one from "Office Space" (in the proper accent, too):

"Paper jam, what is this paper jam?"

I hope the day comes when I can use Dignam's "Maybe, Maybe not, Maybe fuck yourself" line.

A line I just used the other day was from the endlessly quotable The Big Lebowski, "Mina dispatcha says there's something wrong with dyna cable."

Other recent randoms would be from History Of The World Part I

"Don't get saucy with me Bernaiz.", and "That's it, your majesty you look just like the piss boy."

I'm down with that. I tend to go with Michael Bolton.

"PC load letter? The FUCK does that mean?!?"

Always great to yell out:

"Because she's got a.... GGGRRREEEEAAATTT ASS!! And you've got you're head... all the way up it!" goes good with the motions as well.

"How'd it get burned, Howdigetburned, howdigetburned!"

Gotta throw "Get killed walkin' your DOGGIE!" in there with the above quote.

Also great from HEAT is...."Who? WHO? What're you, a fucking OWL?!"

It's kinda' awkward that some of you are tossing quotes when you don't have 'em right...get 'em right!!

I don't quote much - but the other day there was really cold rain coming down as I got to work...and I walked into the place and said - as loud as I could - and in a nasal voice:

"BOY - IT SURE IS RAININ' CATS AND DOGS!"

Everyone looked up in confusion.

"The cab driver said - well, he told me, that the...White...Tiger...could...?"

And the beauty of it was that this kid I work with says, "Mrs. O'Toole will see to your neeeeeds."

Nice.

During sex, I once pitched my best Skeletor impression and told the girl "HE-MAN CAN'T SAVE YOU NOW! HEEHEEHEEEHEEEHEEEEEE!!!"

There's a story there - but it makes me less "cheesy" and more "ruthless bastard", so we'll leave that out...

This one is always good if you're ever asked "Any more questions?":

"How do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?"

And if someone asks you were you're going:

"Second star to the left and straight on till morning."

And this gem:

"You have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon."

If you're ordering a sandwich and ask for pastrami, this line from an episode of Seinfeld is perfect. Guarantees you get a strange look.

"It is the most sensual of the salted, cured meats."

During sex, I think you can't beat either:

"Tell him I'm fucking comiiiinnnnggggg-a!" (The Limey)

or

"I'm gonna get a candybar, I'm gonna get a candybar!" (Little Shop of Horrors)

Or the equally good "Don't waste my MOTHERFUCKIN TIME!"

I got to use that last night! This annoying-as-hell guy asked me if I was going to an after party because he was trying to hit on (and failing miserably) this girl that I brought downtown. It was perfect.

Him: "Are you guys going to Scott's later?"
Me: "Maybe. Maybe not." - then I wait for him to start to say something...
Me: "Maybe fuck yourself."

He laughed it off with that nervous laughter that goes with not knowing if I was serious or not...

I'm finding myself using "You're a daisy if you do" from Tombstone whenever anyone tells me they're about to do something at work. I also used "You tell him I'm coming! And hell's coming with me!" when I got called into a meeting - lots of stares on that one.

Usually, whenever FedEx or UPS shows up, I'm tormenting the women at work by screaming "What's in the box? WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!??!" like Brad Pitt does in Seven.

My friend Brian and I would often lapse into lines from "A Clockwork Orange" (his favorite movie) - "Had meself a pain in the old Gulliver!", etc.

Great! Sounds like he was suitably freaked out. I hope when I get to use the line, it shrugs off that person too.

"Well, Henry, whataya know?"...includining rictus grin and staring eyes. Great for any first meeting with someone you are ALREADY aware you won't be getting on with.

"Look at my knees! LOOK AT MY KNEES!!!" should clinch the deal...

I have a terrible habit of using "Oh, but you can. Oh, but you will." (Batman Returns).

From Batman:

"Those are my balloons..." - Jack Nicholson. Just his devastated/bewildered tone makes that line 20x what it is on paper.

From The Fifth Element (already mentioned, but I love it):

"Mult-ee-pass."

From Fear and Loathing:

"Hot damn! I never rode in a convertable before!"
"IS THAT SO? Well. Get in."

And finally, from Purple Rain:

"Where are you?! Answer me motherfucker!" - Prince throwing a hissy fit

Considering Ive only seen it twice

"I love lamp"

"I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker."