People actin' up at good movies. - Page 2

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Spider-Man 2: I don't know if this is true, but my brother claimed that the entire audience hated the movie. Everything about it, even the tiniest details.

Hellboy: My sibilings were underwhemled.

Two Towers: Two little boys in front of me started to blabber about the logic of the film to each other (thank god the surround sound drowned them out.).

I'm trying to think of more but I can't.

It's true. I was in that audience.

This teenage kid behind me kept commenting out loud about things happening onscreen during War Of The Worlds.

"Man, he's a bad father."
"Probably the aliens."
"Dude, you better run!"
"Whoa, that musta hurt."
"It's people" (When Dakota Fanning asks what that dust on Tom Cruise is)

This stopped about 1/3 of the way through, thankfully, but when the movie was over, he turned over to the old guy sitting next to him and asked, "Was that the way the original ended?" I have to assume this guy was his dad. But he never said a damn thing the entire movie. Maybe the kid was adopted.

In Century Theatres?

No. I am averywhere and nowhere. I am deep down in the dark regions of your soul. Where the small voice that you try to keep hidden lives. The one who knows the Spiderman movies were just ok.

P.S. : Please explain the Century Theatres joke to me. We don't have those in Montréal.

I haven't had a bad experience in a long time.

I go in the middle of the day. Usually it's either just me in the theater, or an elderly couple or two, and I've rarely had problems with them.

One I do remember though, was during Artificial Intelligence. It was just me, my father, this young couple and this elderly couple. The young couple had a knack of talking during the movie, but it did seem like they were actually discussing the movie, which I had no problem with especially if they were whispering quietly, which they were.

But around the time Haley Joel Osment and Jude Law get to the underwater city, the lady in the elderly couple walked directly behind them and yelled "SHUT UP!" and sat back down. They didn't move for the rest of the film.

Ironically enough, this was around the time the movie started to suck.

Sorry, that was silly of me. I just assumed you were living in the same area as me.

....yeah. (blushes)

I used to in the middle of the day, before I had a job.

I have no problem with people making noise if it's a genuine reaction to what's going on on screen. The general tumult in the theater after Indy shoots the swordsman in Raiders is one of my fondest movie-going memories. And another was seeing the 11:30AM opening day showing of Finding Nemo with an audience full of daycare kids who were just absolutely pissing themselves at everything, but not in the needy "pay attention to me" way. Just made it a lot of fun.

As for the bad ones....

-- Star Trek II, some kid down front starts crying. Only a few seconds go by and the mom gets up and starts walking for the exit, and I think, "Wow, a mother who gets it." But oh no -- she stops by the door (which is only a few rows from where I'm sitting) and proceeds to swing the baby around like he's flying, all the while making "whoosh" and "whee" noises. Great for the baby, lousy for the rest of us.

-- Star Trek III (sense a pattern here?), McCoy is talking to the alien about booking passage to the Genesis system and tries the nerve pinch. And this woman a few seats down from me thinks it's the funniest thing ever. I know this because she starts saying, "Oh my god, that's so funny" over and over, even after the scene is over. I'm glad it was a fond memory for her, but I didn't need to know about it.

-- Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Woman with her husband a few seats down from me. My evening goes something like this:

"She's flying."

"Why is she flying?"

(flustered) "Oh, they're flying again."

"Who knew there'd be so much reading and flying?"

Yeah, we eventually moved.

All it would take for me to stop going(except RARE occasions) is same day DVD/theater releases. Before DVD I used to see maybe 50 movies in the theater a year. It's no small coincidence that around that time('98-ish), cell phones weren't as widespread as they are today. Now I see maybe 10-15 a year, and they're usually big blockbusters that beg for the big screen treatment, or art house films that I wouldn't have the opportunity to see at all without netflix(which I do not have).
Now, with DVD, I don't have to deal with pan and scan, and I don't have to deal with the annoying fuckwits in theaters.
On the flipside, I think same day DVD/theater releases are a terrible idea. The window between theater and DVD is already too short in my opinion. If the studios keep cutting it shorter, what reason will there be to go to the theater?

Just shut up.

I'm really curious whether or not movie theater rudeness is a recent phenomenom. Unless it is a must-see event for me, I seldom watch movies except at odd-ball times when the theater will be empty.

What's your malfunction?

I think widespread rudeness is relatively new.
Back in the day, low rent theaters showing B flicks were sure to be filled with teenagers humping and americans turning into wwerewolves.

Assuming the unlikely event that your tale of macho action is true, we should be asking you what your malfunction is for fighting someone for talking in a movie.

That's assuming your story is true, which I really doubt. Unless it's about a child, or possibly a toddler.

Not to mention the higher level of irony that if his story is true, he did it after watching A History of Violence. I almost want it to be true, just so that particular case of irony can exist in the world. Almost.

Jesus, I didn't even catch that.

I just remembered another odd theater experience I would not really tag it as actin up though just kind of funny. When The Blair Witch Project hit the theaters I was not able to catch it until it hit the dollar movie. It was really cold and wintery at the time and as I was waiting for the movie to start all the hordes of elderly people started filing in. There was this senior community right across the street and I assume that is where they all came from.
It was almost like they were just there to take refuge from the cold and they did not care what movie they saw. I heard more than one of them ask each other what the movie was about. Well as the movie progressed it was downright comical hearing the puzzled comments and looks they were giving the screen. And then one by one they just started leaving the theater like they were giving up until there were just a few left.
I remember busting out laughing when one of the last ones to leave was this grizzeled old WWII vet type. He stood up and said "Ah Fuck IT!!" and waved his hands in disgust and left. I remember that more than any part of the movie

Ha! That should've been Crouching Tiger's promotional tagline.

I have experienced lots of the bullshit you guys have gone through. But, i am interested in knowing what are your guys thoughts on completely dead/ lifeless audiences during various intense films??? Such as going to see great films like The Matrix, LOTR Trilogy, The X-Mens & Spider-mans, etc.. and ur packed audience is flat-lined. It just kills me. It just sucks sometimes, for example something (rarely) extremely cool/ visually arresting can be happening on-screen, like Spider-man can have a spectacular mid-air battle w/ Venom while escaping from The Sinister Six, then out of nowhere, fuckin Iron Man can fly by and save the day, yet ur the only asshole in the theater that even remotely seems thrilled, excited, and cheering. Everyone else is just staring at the fuckin screen like they are watching Meet Joe Black. it just sucks the life and energy out of the spectacle of watching cinema.

I just remembered when I saw The Marix for the first time, there were two guys behind us who were high. They kept giggling and whispering in every scene. I was pissed because I was really loving the film. So after maybe a third or half of the film had gone, I got up turned and told them to "shut the fuck up!". Then I froze for a second. One of the guys was James De Salvio, the leader of Bran Van 3000 (a Montreal band, wich I liked, that was trying to break into the US at the time). He looked at me flabbergasted: "You like this?". I said "I said yeah I do. Now shut up or leave.". They did leave so at least they did the right thing.

Two moments:

* The restored Touch of Evil at an art house cinema: movie goes great until the death at the end when the guys behind me decide the movie is too corny for them and start laughing out loud at all of the dialogue until the end credits. Ruined the fucking movie.

* Mission Impossible 2: This adult guy right behind my ear is talking to his group of guy friends through the entire opening of the movie. I'm there by myself. When they show Cruise climbing the mountain with his hands he has to announce "I could totally do that. I do that shit," etc. I go "shhh" and suddenly he raises his voice five times louder and starts ranting about how "you don't go telling me to shut up" and "i'm gonna kick your honky ass," etc. I eventually leave and get a refund because I can't pay attention to the movie anymore -- the fight or flight response has me concentrating on this guy behind my back instead of the movie. When I got my refund they asked me to report the guys instead but I figured they might be waiting for me in the parking lot if I did. I probably sound like a wuss (instead of you tuff guys who punch people out for getting cell calls), but what the hell. I'm a suburban nerd by myself who hasn't been in a fight since grade school and these guys looked like they could kick my ass.

Wow, compared to you guys I've had relatively painless experiences. Worst thing for me was a during Kill Bill Vol.1. Some kids was playing with their laser pointer during the commercials, which of course I didn't mind as I hate them. It continues during the trailers but this doesn't bother me too much. Finally the movies about to start and I see our little friend still hasn't stopped. So head this shit off at the pass and shout "Turn off that F*cking Laser!" My point was made and I proceeded to enjoy myself thoroughly.

Speaking of Kill Bill, when I saw Volume 2 for the first time everything was going great. Nobody was acting like an ass and this was on a crowded Saturday night showing. I was very pleased and enjoying myself a hell of a lot. Anyway, we get to the scene where Bill is making the Superman speech to Beatrix. The theater is in dead silence. Then, out of nowhere, comes one of the wettest sounds I've ever heard. Some guy just below me pulled out his hanky and started blowing. It was disgusting. So, so fucking wet. Sounded like a little brain might've come out. Funny but annoying.

F.T.W. Kid