And the award for creepiest phone call goes to. . .

If she calls again just admit to everything. Whatever she asks, confirm it.

Or...

If she calls back (I doubt she will) stop her from saying anything and tell her to check the number on the cell phone again because you think she has the wrong number.

Isn't that giving WAY too much credit to the asshole husband?

Yeah... that's pretty fuckin' weird.

And she thinks her husband is gay.

AD is a woman-person, dude.

Your confusion about "Agent Danger" aside, this actually seems to have been the case with a woman who left a voicemail on my cell phone a couple of years ago.

"Bob," she said "Are you there? Where are you , and WHO is ANDREW? Oh boy, you are in so much trouble when you get home."

I'll never forget it. She sounded so pissed. It was just baffling to me becuase I state clearly who I am on my outgoing message. I assume she just dialed the wrong number, but apparently, amazingly, the possibility did not enter her mind.

So either she found my number or one close to it and automatically assumed her husband was having a gay affair with whoever it belonged to, or she misdialed his number and thought his man-lover hijacked his phone and voicemail. Either way, both of these scenarios struck her as more likely than the possibility of misdialing or the number meaning nothing. What the hell?

I desperately wanted to call her back and either get an explanation and /or fuck with her head, but her number was blocked and unidentified.

My first Apartment phone number was fun, too. I used to get calls at all hours of the night and day for "Archie" from various old women. They all had the right number, so apparently mine was just recycled from a cancelled account. It took all the willpower I had to not do my best Carroll O'Connor impersonation.

Well, that makes the call considerably less creepy then.

As a third party witness to this phone conversation, I can say that watching Danger's brain melt trying to figure out what to say when the woman started sobbing incoherently was probably more entertaining than I really should admit.

This happend to my housemate as well. He sat there for about 15 minutes trying to explain to this guy on the phone that he had not slept with his girlfriend. He put the phone on speaker and I remember him sat there repeating over and over "You have the wrong number dude, seriously you have the wrong number" while this guy was threatening to come round and break his kneecaps. Eventually he hung up on the guy.

The fact that I have not opened the door to someone who wanted to break my housemates kneecaps makes me think eventually he got the right number.

I had a similar experience with some 16-17 year old girl continuing to leave voice mail messages (despite the obvious message with my voice and name) accusing me of being some other 16-17 year old girl who stole her boyfriend.

After the 5th message, the amusement wore off and I *69d her, and told her to quit calling. Try that next time, and tell her she has the wrong number.

As a side note, the by far most bizarre voice mail message I ever heard left for a friend of mine went simply:

Send me "Dolores Claibourne" you Haitian!"

Still confused by that one.

Surrrre she did.

This same thing happened to my mom, except the lady actually knew her name. "I don't know who you are Robin, but stay away from my husband!" She told my mom her husband's name and it wasn't even anyone we'd ever heard of.

creepiest text message I got on my cell phone last year :
"Sucking my dick doesn't mean you love me, you're my wife now, you're supposed to do that...."
I almost called the number or texted it back to correct the sad man, but decided to close my phone and prey no new messages came my way. I also spent a lot of time after that evaluating the concept of marriage...

Someone left a message on my phone once asking where his bail bond money was. Needless to say, I didn't care to call back and correct the man.

Jesus Christ... I read that sentence completely wrong.

I wish someone would tell my wife that.

I got a call once on Christmas day from some girl who wanted me to remember all the times we had together. It sounded like I missed out on some memorable trists, but I had no idea what she was on about. I kept asking 'who is this?' and she would respond with 'you know.' This went on for about five minutes while she tried to dance around the thought that she was probably being coy with the wrong person. She eventually said 'ok, see ya' and hung up.

It's okay, AD. Just admit that you did it and everything will be alright. Telling the truth has a cleansing effect.

When Swykk and I first started dating, he got a call from a 17 year old girl who wanted to break up with him. He kept on trying to tell her that she had the wrong number, but insisted he let her say what she had to say. Once she was done with her speech, he finally got across to her that he was not her boyfriend. That's when she started to ask Swykk for relationship advice. He handed off the phone to his roommate, who proceed to talk to her for awhile.

After that she called every once in a while just to say hello to him, and started to develop a crush on his roommate.