If anybody cares:
The Schwag: Everyone got a free beanbag, Adidas hooded sweatshirt, memory card, stocking cap, 3 month Live membership and a custom-painted faceplate. I would have rather had a $50 video game, but it's tough to complain about $200 worth of free shit. Microsoft's generosity was only offset by the fact that they were charging seven dollars a pop for cold hamburger patties.
The Celebs: Microsoft head dude J.J. Allard was very friendly and approachable. Elijah Wood was wandering around for a while. Free concert from Louis XIV, whoever the hell they are.
The Spectacle: In a word, insane. Not only was the airplane hanger the size of a football stadium, but the entire thing was lit by pulsing green neon lights while techno blared in the background. Initially impressive, but it's the type of atmosphere that starts to wear thin after a few hours, especially when you can't figure out how to play any of the games because the music is so goddamn loud.
The Surprisingly Cool: Most of the cast of Rize showed up to do some crumping onstage. Three thousand pasty, suburban white guys in the audiance looked suitably confused.
The Hilariously Cheesy: While a huge movie screen counted down the seconds to "Zero Hour", the hanger doors rumbled open and a fleet of Best Buy trucks came rolling through the middle of the hanger, flanked by a bunch of Best Buy nerds who chose to pose for pictures for ten minutes before unloading their goddamn trucks. The audience resonded by pelting the trucks with beanbags.
The Games That You're Already Playing:
Call of Duty 2 is almost undoubtedly the best launch game--polished and gorgeous and very fun.
Perfect Dark Zero isn't even close to the system seller that Microsoft was probably hoping for, and while the game looks smooth and impressive in single-player mode, the framerate falls apart in splitscreen.
The King Kong demo was so dark--and the hanger was so damn bright--that nobody could figure out how to get past the very first room. Ditto for Condemned, which was given the unenviable task of trying to scare people sitting in a brightly-lit airplane hanger surrounded by 5,000 other people.
Ridge Racer 6 is a fucking mess--slow and simplistic and ugly even by original Xbox standards. I felt bad when I made fun of the game, then realized I was surrounded by Namco representatives, but I'm sure they were used to abuse by that point.
Xbox Live Arcade: Go figure, my wife's favorite games of the show were Bejewled and Zuma. To hell with your immersive storytelling and multi-million dollar production values!
Kameo seems decent enough, but it's tough to pick up and play a platformer with such a heavy reliance on puzzle-solving, and most people seemed a little lost by the challenges.
Quake IV: Like Doom 3, but without the atmosphere. In other words, it's a big, fat nothing. The multiplayer was kind of fun, but the limited number of participants and the spotty framerate were both sticking points for me.
THE GAMES YOU'RE NOT PLAYING YET:
Despite the hype, Gears of War was a no-show. Apparently Epic did a brief demonstration earlier in the day, let a handful of nerds play the game, then whisked it back out of sight. Dicks.
Full Auto is an absolute blast. It's got the speed and control of Burnout, but you're demolishing literally EVERYTHING in your path as you race. It's fast and fun and incredibly cool.
Dead or Alive 4 is...well, it's Dead or Alive. Pretty graphics, but the gameplay itself seems no different than the last two iterations. The wife loved it, though.
Dead Rising is a mess. Either the demo was a very early build or the game is very bad, but the entire thing felt awkward, unresponsive, and unfun. I know the devlopers are hoping for a Dawn of the Dead vibe, but honestly, the closest equivalent is probably a very s-l-o-w State of Emergency.
Final Fantasy XII. Snoooooooooze.
The Outfit is decently entertaining in a Mercenaries sort of way, but it had the supreme misfortune of being located near the Call of Duty 2 kiosks, which is like putting a fat girl in a bikini. From what I played, it seemed nicely violent and hectic.
If Mass Effect was playable anywhere, I never found it. Halo 3 was similarly a no-show.
I think that wraps things up...