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Facts about Chuck Norris everyone should know

post #1 of 26
11/17/05 at 1:10am
Thread Starter 
Most likely from the makers of the Vin Diesel random fact generator:

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

This is some good shit.

Edit: there's also a similar page about Mr. T. Enjoy!

http://www.4q.cc/t/index.php?topthirty
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post #2 of 26
11/17/05 at 2:14am
Quote:
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
I thank you.
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post #3 of 26
11/17/05 at 4:00am
Thanks for the new sig.
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post #4 of 26
11/17/05 at 4:16am
Yeah this arrived in my e-mail inbox the other day. I thought it was hilarious. It helps that I saw Invasion USA recently.
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post #5 of 26
11/17/05 at 2:13pm
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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post #6 of 26
11/17/05 at 2:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAIRUS
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
New sig, if you don't mind.
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post #7 of 26
11/17/05 at 7:27pm
Ooooooh, I haven't laughed like that since I was a little girl.
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post #8 of 26
11/18/05 at 2:24am
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Awesome!
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post #9 of 26
11/18/05 at 1:34pm
"When Dr. Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Mr. T."

These guys should do R. Lee Ermey someday.
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post #10 of 26
11/18/05 at 2:43pm
My new favorite:

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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post #11 of 26
11/18/05 at 10:51pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon
These guys should do R. Lee Ermey someday.
Damn straight. Ermey, and Sean Connery.
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post #12 of 26
11/19/05 at 12:22am
Quote:
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane
Genius.
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post #13 of 26
11/19/05 at 2:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stormin
Damn straight. Ermey, and Sean Connery.
The movie "Full Metal Jacket" was not really named after a type of bullet.
Actually, the title came from the fact that the cast and crew on the set had to wear vests made of steel to protect their internal organs from being damaged by the power of Mr. Ermey's voice.

Once on the set of a Bond film, Mr. Connery was served a martini stirred instead of shaken. What happened afterward makes even Russell Crowe sick to his stomach.
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post #14 of 26
11/25/05 at 2:53am
My favorite:

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cheesewheel just to show a group of 3rd graders how badass he is.
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post #15 of 26
11/27/05 at 12:30pm
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

LOL
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post #16 of 26
11/28/05 at 5:22pm
Damn, they're no longer accepting new facts. There goes my whole idea of Jonathan Brandis hanging himself with the prototype Total Gym given to him on the set of Sidekicks by Chuck Norris.


*sigh*
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post #17 of 26
12/8/05 at 3:18am
Great, now everyone in my house thinks I'm a laughing maniac.

Awesome list.
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post #18 of 26
12/8/05 at 4:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vader
Great, now everyone in my house thinks I'm a laughing maniac.
Awesome list.
Ditto.
Had me in stitches, alot like I would be if Chuck kicked seven bells out of me.
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post #19 of 26
1/10/06 at 6:06pm
HE KNOWS! RUN!

http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx?type=1
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post #20 of 26
1/10/06 at 8:29pm
Chuck will exact his revenge!

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post #21 of 26
1/10/06 at 8:39pm
Geez...kind of a sour-puss reaction from Mr. Norris.
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post #22 of 26
1/10/06 at 9:09pm
"Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?"

God, that reminded so much of the Ron Burgundy moment.

Another laugh provided by Mr. Norris.
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post #23 of 26
1/11/06 at 12:08am
My new favorite fact about Chuck Norris: It took 4 people to write Norris' novel "Justice Riders."

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post #24 of 26
1/11/06 at 12:03pm
Despite the shamless shilldom exhibited by Mr. Norris, I actually DO wanna find out the facts from his autobiographical book, "Against All Odds".

I hope it contains the line, "Needless to say, I had the last laugh" many, many times...
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post #25 of 26
1/19/06 at 1:37pm
Video of Tony Danza reading Chuck Norris facts to Chuck Norris:
http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=QP1PuB1R-Xw
I´m glad he´s got a sense of humor.
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post #26 of 26
1/19/06 at 4:04pm
I bet Tony's jealous.
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