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Steve, Don't Eat It!

post #1 of 19
11/28/05 at 10:56pm
Thread Starter 
http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives...ont_eat_it.php

Among other experiments:

Pickled Pork Rinds

While perusing the "Good Lord, NOOOO!" aisle of the supermarket, I came across the atrocity known as Dolores Brand Pickled Pork Rinds. These are not the crunchy pork rinds you'll often see over by the chips. These are their grosser, soggier, potentially botulism-ier cousins.

The label says "Ready to Eat." They left off "By Dumb-Asses."

There is also a red starburst proudly proclaiming "Nuevo Envase de Vidrio Reusable". Not knowing much Spanish, I could only assume that meant "Oh Crap -- A Jar of Skin!"

I was wrong. It means: "New Reusable Glass Container" which I think is their subtle way of saying you can also use the jar to puke in.
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post #2 of 19
11/28/05 at 11:21pm
That's great stuff. Not the food, of course. That's some awful shit he's put himself through. But hilarious.
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post #3 of 19
11/28/05 at 11:21pm
Fantastic. The bit with the chocolate breast milk is priceless.
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post #4 of 19
11/29/05 at 10:54am
GOD WHY fd

Edit: I thought I had reached the worst when I got to the breastmilk shots. I was wrong. AAGH.
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post #5 of 19
11/29/05 at 11:29am
I love where it says the ingredient is "meat".

Of course, it is dog food.
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post #6 of 19
11/29/05 at 11:54am
That actually made me a little ill.
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post #7 of 19
11/29/05 at 12:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
That actually made me a little ill.
Man, you ain't the only one. Urgh.
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post #8 of 19
11/29/05 at 12:56pm
You people have extremely weak stomachs.
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post #9 of 19
11/29/05 at 12:58pm
Yeah, I really need to up my larva and infected corn intake so I don't look like a wuss.
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post #10 of 19
11/29/05 at 1:01pm
Isn't that what Slingblade eats?
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post #11 of 19
11/29/05 at 1:21pm
For the love of all things holy, "Why, Steve, Why?!?!?!"
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post #12 of 19
11/29/05 at 2:20pm
I've been a fan of this site for a while. A co-worker and I used to engage in occasional food dare dollar bets to the amusement of our department. I managed some potted meat on a cracker and, later, some clam jerky. He took down a disgusting green and fuzzy months-old tangerine, then attempted some potted meat. Curiously, the tangerine went down, but the potted meat didn't. He got several dollars for his trouble.

The breast milk and Beggin' Strips don't seem like anything that couldn't be washed down and forgotten. The cuitlacoche and silkworm pupas are probably the worst-looking of the bunch, but Natto is pretty intimidating, too.
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post #13 of 19
11/29/05 at 6:24pm
But I like Arby's.

Made it through the breast milk entry:
Quote:
These moments are known as "blow jobs." These women are known as "awesome."
Saving the rest for reading material during breakfast.
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post #14 of 19
11/29/05 at 6:38pm
Not to be intentionally gross, but when my wife was pregnant I got up the courage and to my surprise - not that bad.
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post #15 of 19
11/29/05 at 7:08pm
Brilliant.
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post #16 of 19
11/29/05 at 7:12pm
I just don't see why breastmilk is anywhere near as gross as anything else that Steve ate. It's like cow milk that's been genetically engineered for humans.
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post #17 of 19
11/29/05 at 9:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graynadian
I just don't see why breastmilk is anywhere near as gross as anything else that Steve ate. It's like cow milk that's been genetically engineered for humans.

Absolutely true. Why get grossed out about drinking the mammary fluid of human beings while we have been putting the mammary fluid of fucking COWS on out cereal!!!???
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post #18 of 19
12/10/05 at 1:29am
I actually ate a lot of potted meat sandwichs as a kid. Every now and then I still get a craving. Goes good with mustard.

I can see how the creamyness can put some people off.
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post #19 of 19
12/10/05 at 3:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graynadian
I just don't see why breastmilk is anywhere near as gross as anything else that Steve ate. It's like cow milk that's been genetically engineered for humans.
I don't know why either, but it definitely grossed me out. I think maybe it's because I associate breasts with sex these days.
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