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Facials?

post #1 of 43
11/30/05 at 1:41pm
Thread Starter 
So, um...

honestly, has anyone ever been with anyone that enjoyed them? I had a girlfriend once that loved them, but to this day, I don't know how rare that was. I notice that many other women aren't turned on by this at all.

And why does it turn men on? When I was doing it with a few girlfriends, some who mildly enjoyed it and some who were indifferent, I enjoyed it. But I can't seem to figure out my own attraction to it, let alone others.

And are there women who squirt out there who get off on giving men facials? Because I've never dated a squiter, but if I did and she wanted to give me one, I don't know how I'd react.

I'm expecting a flood of jokes and criticisms instead of any real discussion, but I just wanted to get this out.
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post #2 of 43
11/30/05 at 3:47pm
One or two have claimed to like it, but maybe they were just humoring me. I wouldn't even try it without the testing the waters, whatever that means.
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post #3 of 43
11/30/05 at 5:00pm
Facials just aren't demeaning enough to my partner. For me to be sexually gratified, the woman has to be completely humiliated. I usually walk away in the middle of sex, telling her she's not good enough, then have a bunch of my friends run in screaming at her about how awful she is. Then we tatoo SLUT in huge letters on her back and leave her naked in her parents front yard while honking our car horns to make sure they wake up.

Then I have a huge orgasm.
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post #4 of 43
11/30/05 at 6:03pm
Hot.
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post #5 of 43
11/30/05 at 6:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guttenberg Fan Club
Facials just aren't demeaning enough to my partner. For me to be sexually gratified, the woman has to be completely humiliated. I usually walk away in the middle of sex, telling her she's not good enough, then have a bunch of my friends run in screaming at her about how awful she is. Then we tatoo SLUT in huge letters on her back and leave her naked in her parents front yard while honking our car horns to make sure they wake up.

Then I have a huge orgasm.
Dude, you totally stole my move!
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post #6 of 43
11/30/05 at 8:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabfunk
So, um...

honestly, has anyone ever been with anyone that enjoyed them? I had a girlfriend once that loved them, but to this day, I don't know how rare that was. I notice that many other women aren't turned on by this at all.

And why does it turn men on? When I was doing it with a few girlfriends, some who mildly enjoyed it and some who were indifferent, I enjoyed it. But I can't seem to figure out my own attraction to it, let alone others.

And are there women who squirt out there who get off on giving men facials? Because I've never dated a squiter, but if I did and she wanted to give me one, I don't know how I'd react.

I'm expecting a flood of jokes and criticisms instead of any real discussion, but I just wanted to get this out.
I guess I'll give a female perspective. I think most women hate facials mainly because of the clean up factor. Besides the fact that it gets in the eyes and/or nose, it usually gets in your hair and that is a bitch to get out. If you don't shower immediately afterward, your hair will end up all knotted and stiff (I'll assume everyone remebers Cameron Diaz's hair in There's Something About Mary). However, most women have no problem with guys ejaculating anywhere else on our bodies -- stomach, ass, tits -- because clean up is as easy as wiping it off with a towel.

As for why it turns men on, I think its as simple as men like to spray their seed. Most boys usually pee everywhere they can as kids. It stands to reason that adult boys would want to ejaculate everywhere they can as well. It may also have to do with porn. The facial seems to be THE climax to every porn film ever made. So if you are a fan of porn, you're probably a fan of facials.
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post #7 of 43
11/30/05 at 8:20pm
Personally not a fan of it myself. I enjoy smooching the wife after coitus and I wouldn't want anything like that in the way. I'm perfectly happy hittin the boobs.

But hey - more power to ya, guys!
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post #8 of 43
11/30/05 at 9:36pm
>It stands to reason that adult boys would want to ejaculate everywhere they can as well.

Adult boys, I like that. I don't like the facial, a swallow feels alot better...
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post #9 of 43
11/30/05 at 11:18pm
Facials are great, nothing loosens my blackheads better than a good facial. Oh wait...
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post #10 of 43
12/1/05 at 11:18am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
I guess I'll give a female perspective. I think most women hate facials mainly because of the clean up factor. Besides the fact that it gets in the eyes and/or nose, it usually gets in your hair and that is a bitch to get out. If you don't shower immediately afterward, your hair will end up all knotted and stiff (I'll assume everyone remebers Cameron Diaz's hair in There's Something About Mary). However, most women have no problem with guys ejaculating anywhere else on our bodies -- stomach, ass, tits -- because clean up is as easy as wiping it off with a towel.

As for why it turns men on, I think its as simple as men like to spray their seed. Most boys usually pee everywhere they can as kids. It stands to reason that adult boys would want to ejaculate everywhere they can as well. It may also have to do with porn. The facial seems to be THE climax to every porn film ever made. So if you are a fan of porn, you're probably a fan of facials.

but does it turn women on? Does it turn women you know on? How do you feel about it? Other than the practicality, I mean, of course.
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post #11 of 43
12/1/05 at 12:34pm
What, are you holding it in until you get an answer?
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post #12 of 43
12/1/05 at 12:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabfunk
but does it turn women on? Does it turn women you know on? How do you feel about it? Other than the practicality, I mean, of course.
How would I know know how all women feel? Some women do, some don't. I would assume that women who watch a lot of porn would be into it. But you can't really put practicality aside because if women were turned on by facials, the messiness would be part of its charm.
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post #13 of 43
12/1/05 at 1:04pm
I think Hasidic Jews enjoy them.
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post #14 of 43
12/1/05 at 3:12pm
Quote:
However, most women have no problem with guys ejaculating anywhere else on our bodies -- stomach, ass, tits -- because clean up is as easy as wiping it off with a towel.
that settles it for me...diva is a man...or near enough.
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post #15 of 43
12/1/05 at 6:12pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva
How would I know know how all women feel? Some women do, some don't. I would assume that women who watch a lot of porn would be into it. But you can't really put practicality aside because if women were turned on by facials, the messiness would be part of its charm.

But what I'm really asking is what kind of percentages are we talking here? Let's say you are part of a women's gym. Out of all the women there, would 10% enjoy it? Or is it closer to 2%?

I'm just tyring to figure out because I don't know what about it appeals to guys or girls.
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post #16 of 43
12/1/05 at 6:41pm
Are you joking?
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post #17 of 43
12/1/05 at 8:49pm
And people get chastized when they call this fucker creepy.
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post #18 of 43
12/1/05 at 9:03pm
In the real world, It seems a woman is more apt to swallow than to take a facial
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post #19 of 43
12/1/05 at 9:07pm
But how MUCH more apt? We need percentages here. Do you have any charts or graphs?
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post #20 of 43
12/1/05 at 9:27pm
Pie graphs. I like em' pie. Yeah. Pie.
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post #21 of 43
12/1/05 at 10:16pm
Bonus points will be awarded to the first person to post a fake graph.
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post #22 of 43
12/1/05 at 10:31pm
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post #23 of 43
12/1/05 at 10:34pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette

Well, that's settled.
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post #24 of 43
12/1/05 at 10:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette
Would you like the dishwasher or the automatic onion dicer?
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post #25 of 43
12/1/05 at 10:44pm
Ooh! The onion dicer, please!
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post #26 of 43
12/1/05 at 10:45pm
Oh my god, that's fantastic.
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post #27 of 43
12/2/05 at 4:11am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Necessiter
that settles it for me...diva is a man...or near enough.
Heh. I definitely hang out with men more than women. I guess it skews my perspective a bit. NYC chicks are also a bit more liberal than most. But I assure you, I'm 100% female.
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post #28 of 43
12/5/05 at 11:11am
She said she's not a man.
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post #29 of 43
12/5/05 at 11:31am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Domingo
Pie graphs. I like em' pie. Yeah. Pie.
Creampie?
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post #30 of 43
12/5/05 at 11:44am
Quote:
Originally Posted by supertom
Can I cum in your face Diva?
Can I Lorena Bobbit you, afterward?
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post #31 of 43
12/5/05 at 12:03pm
The Bobbit incident happened in June '93. I'd be surprised to learn supertom was born by then.
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post #32 of 43
12/5/05 at 12:05pm
He does have a bizarre obsession with wanking.
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post #33 of 43
12/5/05 at 12:11pm
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post #34 of 43
12/5/05 at 12:12pm
According to his profile, supertom is 24.

Kids today. *shakes head*
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post #35 of 43
12/5/05 at 12:41pm
*spitter spatter*
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post #36 of 43
12/5/05 at 1:13pm
of tiny feet ? Not where he's putting it.
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post #37 of 43
12/5/05 at 3:43pm
I've yet to cum on anyone's face, not for lack of desire mind you, I'm generally just too coy to ask.

Maybe I shouldn't ask...people like surprises.
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post #38 of 43
12/5/05 at 3:59pm
No go. I've tried the suprise attack, and almost got my balls ripped off. I'ma call it Diva syndrome from now on...
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post #39 of 43
12/6/05 at 11:38am
Id like to thank all involved for one of the funniest threads Ive read on CHUD in ages.
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post #40 of 43
12/6/05 at 3:22pm
That's more than enough from Captain Wanky, I think.
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post #41 of 43
12/6/05 at 3:22pm
Thank you.
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post #42 of 43
12/6/05 at 3:33pm
America, or Tom the uber wank?
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post #43 of 43
12/6/05 at 3:46pm
I think both. That Captain America picture should really only be used in the direst of circumstances.
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