It was chlamydia! Hehehe...
"He had crabs, and I said, 'You're gonna get laughs!'"
Michael: (catching his mother with the Warden) Hi, I just, uh... Wow. What are you guys doing?
Warden Gentiles: It's PERFECTLY innocent! But I can see how, if our roles were reversed, I might have you beaten with a pillowcase full of batteries. I'll give you two a moment.
Michael: Thank you.
Warden Gentiles: (mumbling) I don't know why I always assume everyone's read my screenplay...