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Editing Room: Abridged scripts

post #1 of 5
1/25/06 at 7:57am
Thread Starter 
I've done a search for this, but nothing came up. It's a websited devoted to surprisingly accurate - and amusing - abridged scripts for movies.

http://ter.air0day.com/?script=archives
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post #2 of 5
1/26/06 at 12:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by A New Hope
JABBA
Hey. I look fucking ridiculous.

HARRISON FORD
Alright, let's go.
Awesome.
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post #3 of 5
1/26/06 at 12:41am
From the one for BOILER ROOM:

Quote:
GIOVANNI RIBISI
I need help getting rich quickly.

VIN DIESEL
I will help you. Do what I say and
you’ll sell some of our fake stock.

GIOVANNI RIBISI
Fake?

VIN DIESEL
Er, shit. Ask any questions and I
will beat the shit out of you with
my muscles, which do not belong on a
stock broker. Actually, my very
stature is pretty inappropriate.
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post #4 of 5
1/26/06 at 2:41pm
I also recommend Movies in 15 Minutes

She's actually got a book out in countries other than the US (for some strange reason). I almost picked up a copy when I was visiting Turkey, but I've read most of them online. Hers are a little longer than the TER guys, but they're just as funny. She also has some pretty nice avatars you can use.

An excerpt:

From "The Day After Tomorrow"

Quote:
---------------------------------

NY Public Library of Freezing-Ass Cold, The Next Morning

LAURA: *does not wake up*
SAM: OMGWTFLAURA!
MRS. LIBRARIAN: Using one of the books we haven’t burned yet, I will attempt to diagnose her condition. Fever?
SAM: Yes.
MRS. LIBRARIAN: Pulse?
BRIAN: Fast.
MRS. LIBRARIAN: Injuries incurred saving the French woman and her kid from a taxi?
FRENCH WOMAN: Mon dieu!
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post #5 of 5
1/26/06 at 5:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eyes Wide Shut
NICOLE AND TOM
Ha ha ha! You just don't understand
Kubrick. The moral of the story:
Don't go to a movie just to see sex.
This stuff is hilarious!

Quote:
Originally Posted by American Beauty
Suddenly, PETER GALLAGHER and PETER GALLAGHER'S FREAKISHLY
LARGE EYBROWS enter the house.

PETER GALLAGHER
Wanna fuck?

ANNETTE BENNING
Take me!
_______________________________________________

CREEPY WES BENTLEY
I'm off to sell drugs and videotape
random shit.

CREEPIER CHRIS COOPER
What?

CREEPY WES BENTLEY
I'm going to school.

CREEPIER CHRIS COOPER
Oh.
_______________________________________________

CREEPY WES BENTLEY
You know, I've got footage of him
working out in the nude for no other
reason than that it's going to play
into the plot later.

THORA BIRCH
What?

CREEPY WES BENTLY
I love you.

THORA BIRCH
Oh.
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