Things you shouldn't say into your cell phone in public

A faulty penis pump? I wouldn't call that winning.

The need for a penis pump at all. Now that's what I call not winning.

It's usually relationship issues from cells that make it into the public's ear. I'm pretty sick of hearing about each thing that happens on someone's date, usually accompanied by, "I shouldn't have slept with him" or something.

"Was that your dump in that message you sent me?"

I don't have to explain myself to any of you.

"What's my mother's maiden name? And my account number? AND my pin? Well, alright. . ."

"Those rape charges are going to be ok."

"They say I'm contagious just by touch."

I just can't stand it when somone begins to talk on their cell and do so with a voice 200% louder than they were using seconds before.

Cell phones come with volume buttons now too!

It annoys me when people get exponentially louder with each "I can't hear you!" I could understand it slightly more if it was "You can't hear me?" louder "You can't hear me?" louder "YOU CAN'T HEAR ME?" But "I can't hear you!" being blasted into your phone isn't going to help your problem, douche-bag.

I agree it gets a bit too much, but don't forget, the whole point of cell phones is that they're mobile, so a lot of the time you're fighting against background noise, traffic, all kinds of things, none of which concern you when you talk on the regular phone.

Content of coversations doesn't concern me so much as the place where it's held.

I know we're a mobile society, but is it so much to ask people hang up the yak-box when they're in a restaurant or theatre?

You know what drives me insane? Those fucking bluetooth hands free things. People wearing those all the time, even when there not actually using their phone. What the fuck? They look like they've been assimilated to the Borg or something...

my girlfriend and I where with a friend on her cell phone, as we entered the store, in a loud voice she says, so how big's his cock? it was a funny moment...even better is that thie was a serious question..HA

That's true, but the people who really get under my skin are the ones who are carrying on a conversation at max volume when there isn't any background noise to fight. I was sitting in the coffee shop at my neighborhood Borders on Friday, trying to get a little writing done. It's a public place and I like the drone of regular conversations, music, kitchen noise.

There was this woman sitting two tables away from me that had her Bluetooth headset on and acted as it she was doing a one-woman show in front of a huge auditorium. She was talking to her home office somewhere, shouting like she was using a sound-powered phone. She flung herself around in her seat, waving her arms, laughing hysterically. For a while, I seriously thought that it might be a piece of performance art. Eventually, she was joined by one of her coworkers (both pharma salespeople--how could I not listen a little?), and he looked extremely uncomfortable with her high volume. Finally, she finished her conversation at the volume of the closing number in Mame, grabbed her henchman and took off.

Although she was the loudest that I've ever heard (so far), my number one complaint is about the people who set up shop like this in a coffee shop somewhere and then act like they've got a cloaking device on--totally unfazed by what's going on around them, shouting into their cell phones. I hope that there's a special place in hell for them--a place that hopefully won't include me.

I heard a guy say this on his cell in a department store:
"I don't know, man, I didn't see her fuckin' cowboy hat."

There is no reason to speak on a cell phone in any public space unless it is an emergency. If you are having just a general conversation with a buddy, it can wait until you are alone. If you are conducting business, you should be somewhere that you can take notes, not be interrupted by noise and general shuffle and where you don't have to shout your business to the world.

Anyone who uses them to chit chat while buying groceries or whatever should be slapped on the spot and their phone thrown in the toilet.

I also found an article this morning that says researchers are finding that our general level of hospitality and courtesy is going downhill, helped in large part by the use of email and cell phones.

I see no issue with talking on your cell phone in a grocery store at a reasonable level. Now, I see it as incredibly rude to be talking on the phone while your being checked out by the cashier, but while pushing a cart around the store, I see no reason for slapping or cell dunking.

Almost a month ago, while walking to get the subway after work, I hear this suit "yelling" this wonder on his cell phone:

" It's okay, it's just a simple abortion. Fuck, next time, if anything, just slam the poop chute." At a quite busy intersection. I seriously thought it was a joke. At the following intersection, he was ranting about her lack of natural lubrication. Just wow.