On-line vs. real life personas

Here's an interesting question I just thought of while on the CHUD message boards today.

I try to be pretty polite on these boards, perhaps even moreso than I am in real life, because I don't like the idea of the anonymity of internet chatting "enabling" me to act like I'm someone I'm not.

Although nothing like the atmosphere at AICN, I have noticed a pretty serious amount of rudeness at times on these boards, and it seems pretty widespread among both people who have been posting for years and total newbies. Reasonable threads will degenerate into snark-fests at times within a handful of posts. A lot of times I wonder if these same posters are like this in "real life."

So here's my question (this is addressed to everyone here): Is your on-line persona similar to the way you act when you're interacting in the real world, or are you more likely to say things/act in a way that you wouldn't otherwise? I'm specifically talking about how you treat others, as opposed to using bad language, which is ubiquitous on the net, but often isn't tolerated in the workplace, for example). I'd love to get input on this from anyone who posts here. Thanks.

I look forward to your responses.

Don't worry Moltisanti, I've always pictured you with breasts while reading your posts, as well as imagining your reading them out loud to yourself as you type in your mellifluous contralto voice, cigarette holder dangling languidly from your voluptuous lips....

But seriously, I also avoid discussing politics Matt, mostly because I come here to talk film, and my ignorance would get me creamed in the politics board. But yeah, I don't like talking politics with my friends in real life either, as I'm anti-partisan and not really liberal or conservative.

Like you John, I suspect most people use the anonymity of these boards to act in ways they wouldn't otherwise, but I just wanted to hear from posters themselves.

Hey Ali Mohamed. I see what you're saying, but that wasn't really what I was asking. My question is just whether or not you personally act differently on-line than you do in "real life." I would love to hear your opinion.

Hey, thanks for your feedback. By your use of the phrase "constant repetition" I'm assuming you mean my posts about politeness in other threads as well as this one, and that my comments are out of any and all proportion to any rudeness I might perceive.

Would you say that I am wrong that people are rude on the boards, or just that it's not something that I should be bothered by (like when Devin said "politeness doesn't matter,"
which I must admit did exercise me rather inordinately)?

I just don't see a reason to treat people less than respectfully, just because I can't look them in the eye. Maybe I'm just naive and people are much ruder in real life than I acknowledge.

Also though, I want to think that JohnShade is wrong in saying that people only act politely towards each other because they fear reprisals of some sort. I'd like to think people generally want to get along with each other in a respectful manner without oblique motives. But maybe John's right; depressing thought though.

Anyway, thanks for the response.

Sometimes I think I come off like the Mary Poppins of the internet, which is pretty funny.

Incidentally, in the year or so I've posted on the boards here, I'm not conscious of anyone really ever getting nasty with me, and I am not easily offended anyway. The only time I've ever gotten really mad on these boards had less to do with "rudeness" and more to do with smug, self-congratulatory posturing. One of the trickiest things about the internet is that you can't hear the tone of voice in what people are saying, which is a huge cue as to whether they're joking, being sarcastic, or in dead earnest.

I'm just fascinated by the myriad ways in which people's behavior is affected by the groups they are a part of. Sometimes I'm not even sure people are aware of it.

Hey, thanks for all the responses, guys; much appreciated.

I'm not sure what this one means though; are you drawing a parallel to illustrate that the answer to my question was so obvious as to not merit a less obfuscate response (and thus, not worth asking at all), or were just feeling scatological.

In any case, I'd love to get your take on this topic. Thanks.

I just thought of another possible interpretation; do you mean to say that you feel it's an arbitrary distinction in either case??

Yow. See, this is exactly the sort of thing I live in fear of. I use quite a bit of profanity in real life (I try not to on-line), and in proper company can joke about some pretty offensive things, which I won't mention here, but it has backfired on me painfully a few times. But sometimes I feel like I'm so polite on line that I come off as either blisteringly insincere or supremely condescending, so it's all up to interpretation.

Well Schwartz, so far every response has told me something about the person who posted, even the ones that seem to be deliberately obscurantist. I'm far enough on the outside of everyday human society that much of human behavior mystifies me, so it's always nice to have people who are willing to help me out with my weird surveys. It's appreciated.

Yeah, Aquafresh, I've found that there's just not much you can do about the whole sarcasm/joking thing. If you joke around here with someone you don't know, maybe they'll get that you're joking, or maybe they'll think you're antagonizing them.

I find that this is especially a problem for newer posters because they're largely unknown, and the Old Guard of the site are quick to assume that they are being trolled and react unkindly.

And possibly not without reason, either. It seems like this site (I've read news here since 2000, but only started reading the message board in 2004 or 2005), has had problems with especially mean-spirited, perhaps even malevolent trolls from a rival, jealous website. So I can see how that would color the perspective of some long time posters.