CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › Drafts & Lists › Top 30 Cinematic Assholes
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Top 30 Cinematic Assholes

post #1 of 165
Thread Starter 
As moderated by me.
I normally don't care for list threads, but for some reason I'm compelled to start this.
This is a list of assholes. Not bad guys. Not super villains. I generally define an asshole as a character who is arbitrarily mean, selfish, two-faced, or a bully. Plans of world domination and/or destruction do not an asshole make, therefore Darth Vader and Blofeld are out of the running. The blonde kid from The Karate Kid? He's an asshole. Bob Morton from RoboCop? Asshole. Carlos (michael's brother in law) from Godfather? Debatable asshole since he was played for a patsy by a rival gang. He's more like Freido.
I will be judging the validity of choices and eliminating any I see unfit. Once we reach 30 the list is closed. We will then move on to other futile pursuits to fill our lonely hours.
I'll throw the opening pitch-
1) Peter Weller in First Born. Scumbag that moves into single mom Teri Garr's suburban home and treats her two kids like shit. His highest aspiration is to start dealing out of the house. After a knock-down fight with the teenage son, he gets a beat down and is chased from the house like the dog he is. Oh, and Corey Haim whacks the shit out of him with a baseball bat, so he's a pussy too.
post #2 of 165
Would I be a non-cinematic asshole for bringing up this?
post #3 of 165
Ford Fairlane... When he goes fucking nutty on the kid in the recording studio...
post #4 of 165
Thread Starter 
Poprob-
Nah, this is a much more specific list. Plus my asshole criteria is far more rigid. Ji-tae Yu is a fucking psycho who sets in motion a plan that he finds completely justifiable. James Cromwell is a dirty cop who has also considered his actions and feels he is in the right and probably thinks he's serving society to a certain extent by playing outside of the rules.
An asshole has no delusions, usually because they never bother examine their own behavior. They just act out of sheer meanness or selfishness. They don't care how their actions affect anyone but themselves.
post #5 of 165
So would John Turturro's character from Miller's Crossing count as an asshole in your estimation? He has no problem selling out his own masculinity to save his life, then turns around and tries to blackmail his savior.
post #6 of 165
Thread Starter 
It's been years, but I'm pretty sure Turturro qualifies. If Michael let Carlos or Freido off the hook, they wouldn't have dreamed of crossing him again.
post #7 of 165
I'll say it once and hope it sticks:

Paul Gleason in DIE HARD. What an asshole.

"Christ, Powell, he could be a fucking bartender for all we know."
post #8 of 165
J.T. Walsh in Breakdown

Although he made a carreer out of playing the asshole (The Grifters, Backdraft, Sling Blade), Breakdown was pure, unadulterated ASSHOLE. In the confrontation scene with the cop, Russell, and Walsh on the highway, where Walsh denies everything, you just want to reach through the screen and strangle him. And then to order his own kid to shoot the good guy? That's low.

He was great at what he did, and what he did was play the Asshole. R.I.P.
post #9 of 165
Having just watched Die Hard again over the weekend, I'll gladly second Paul Gleason's nom and offer Hart Bochner [Ellis].
post #10 of 165
I think Hart belongs in the 'snivelling little shit' category, along with the dude from Aliens. I say that there's something sexy about an asshole - a charisma that draws men to him and lets him get away with terrible deeds that seperates the true asshole from the everyday prick.

In that vein I'll pick Daniel Day Lewis' Bill The Butcher from 'Gangs of New York' and Danny Huston's Arthur Burns from 'The Proposition'.

Bill is a very charming man and Arthur is both a murderer and a poet, so giving him two counts towards asshole-dom.

The Proposition is a fine film by the way, but i don't know if it's been released in America yet.
post #11 of 165
Bill Paxton in Weird Science.

John Goodman in Big Lebowski.

Paul Rudd in Wet Hot American Summer.
post #12 of 165
Here are some suggestions:

Yaphet Kotto as Parker in 'Alien'. Not a good guy, not a bad guy, just an asshole. I'd maybe put Harry Dean Stanton as Brett in there too, though Brett just kinda goes with the flow. Parker is the asshole.

J.T. Walsh in 'Good Morning Vietnam'. Just a full-on prick the whole movie, but not the 'bad guy' per se. In more need of a blowjob than any white man in history.

Ron Perlman as Johner in 'Alien Resurrection'. Kinda like how Parker was in the first 'Alien'.

Clancy Brown in 'The Shawshank Redemption'. Probably Clancy's best role, right up there as the Kurgan from 'Highlander'. Beats the crap out of everyone, is loud and obnoxious, and cries like a baby at the end when he's going to go to jail. He's the perfect asshole/bully.
post #13 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammerhead
John Goodman in Big Lebowski.
That man is not an asshole. Legend, yes, but not an asshole. It was a league game, after all.

Mattress Man from Punch Drunk Love. Not only is he an asshole, but he makes his living off of being one.

Rupert Pupkin, King of Comedy. Asshole enough to take on possibly the biggest son of a bitch in comedy.
post #14 of 165
A few more:

Mark Metcalf as Neidermeyer in 'Animal House'. Pretty self explanatory.

William Atherton in 'Real Genius'. Much like Paul Gleason, he's made a career out of playing assholes. His role in 'Real Genius' was probably his funniest, though.
post #15 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Clarke
I say that there's something sexy about an asshole - a charisma that draws men to him and lets him get away with terrible deeds that seperates the true asshole from the everyday prick.

In that vein...
I should probably just come out.
post #16 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex B
Rupert Pupkin, King of Comedy. Asshole enough to take on possibly the biggest son of a bitch in comedy.
I always felt Pupkin was more worthy of sympathy than disdain.
post #17 of 165
The king -- Kevin Spacey in Swimming with Sharks.
post #18 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poprob
I always felt Pupkin was more worthy of sympathy than disdain.
Still an insufferable ass, though.
post #19 of 165
Thread Starter 
In chronological order-
1) Peter Wellar, First Born
2) John Turturro, Miller's Crossing
3) Paul Gleason, Breakfast Club
Perhaps a good case can be made for his role in Die Hard, but I always saw him as more of a hard-ass. Plus Agents Johnson & Johnson put him to shame once they arrive. Cocky, uncaring, and even rude to each other ("I was in jr. high, shithead!". His petty, vindictive principal, however, places him firmly in the bully camp. But if someone can make a better case for Die Hard, have at it.)
4) J.T. Walsh, Breakdown
(I agree his scenes at home cement his place here.)
5) Bill Paxton, Weird Science
6) John Goodman, Big Lebowski
7) Clancy Brown, Shawshank Redemption
8) Paul Reiser, Aliens

I agree that Ellis (Die Hard) is much more of the sniveling shit character. You almost pity him at the end when he nervously sips at his Coke. Sure he was a cocky hot-shot, but he was trying to be the hero afterall.
Ironically enough, Andrew, Reiser was going to be my next choice. Sure he was snivelling, but he was a Turturro type in that he was always looking out for his own interests no matter who had to suffer for it. Too bad more Enron cretins couldn't meet the same fate as he.
There's no way Bill The Butcher belongs here. He has an unflinching loyalty to his percieved noble values and respect for his vanquished enemy (Liam Neeson).
I haven't seen Wet Hot American Summer. If someone else votes for Rudd I'll take their word for it.
post #20 of 165
Thread Starter 
John Goodman has been contested. I'll remove him for further consideration and allow someone to make a case (yay or nay) for him.
I'm torn between Atherton's Real Genius asshole and his Ghostbusters asshole.
post #21 of 165
What about Jeffrey Jones' character in Ferris Bueller's Day Off? I just keep getting reminded of that one line of his after his assistant says that he is being made to look like an ass:

"Thank you Grace, you're wrong!"

Although you could probably argue that Broderick deserves to go in here too, for the same film. He skirts the line between funny and smartarse.
post #22 of 165
James Spader in Mannequin, or any of the other 80s movies were he plays his typical snobish a-hole routine.
post #23 of 165
Thread Starter 
I can give Jones a pass. He was a bitter bumbling fool, but he was really only trying to do his job.
post #24 of 165
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CapitanAmerica
James Spader in Mannequin, or any of the other 80s movies were he plays his typical snobish a-hole routine.
There should be a seperate Top 30 list for the many assholes of James Spader.
post #25 of 165
Goodman's line right at the end of Lebowski when Jesus is shouting about having the game moved from Saturday to Wednesday on account of Walter's religious beliefs. Walter turns to the Dude and says 'He's cracking', thus proving that he knows all the sabbath stuff is just a ruse to win at bowling.

That could get him into asshole status.
post #26 of 165
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson
The king -- Kevin Spacey in Swimming with Sharks.
He's kind of a stealth asshole, isn't he? He starts out as an total prick. Then gets our sympathies with that story about his wife. But then he makes the guy pull the trigger. Asshole! Kind of makes you wonder if his story was even true...
post #27 of 165
Paul Rudd of WHAS is a noble vote that I'd second. When he promises those kids secret pizza parties, it's the least of his transgressions.

Also, how about Jason Flemyg in "Transporter 2"? He's your average henchman until Frank martin is essentially put to death with a car bomb as the baddies walk away with the child. In an escapable situation, he goes, "Hey, Frank!" and reaches into his pocket. What does he pull out? A middle finger. And he totally steals that fat guy's tie. Maybe he's minor league, but still an ASSHOLE.
post #28 of 165
I still say Gleason is more of an asshole in DIE HARD than BREAKFAST CLUB. A few years ago I might not have felt that way, but the older I get the more I see his point of view over those 5 jive kids.

John C. McGinley for PLATOON. I’d also accept him for ANY GIVEN SUNDAY. I’m sure others would champion him for POINT BREAK
post #29 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
I’d also accept him for ANY GIVEN SUNDAY.

I would disqualify him since he's essentially impersonating Jim Rome, but Rome is far more of an asshole in real life.
post #30 of 165
Tarkin.

'Tell us what we want to know and we won't blow up your planet.'

'Okay.'

'Thanks. BOOM!'
post #31 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark
I'm torn between Atherton's Real Genius asshole and his Ghostbusters asshole.
As I am the one who mentioned it, my vote is for 'Real Genius'. While his assholishness in 'Ghostbusters' cannot be denied, his part in was much smaller. He shows a more vast range of assholenocity in 'Real Genius', and it's more integral to the plot.

I LOVE 'Real Genius'. It came out the same year as 'Weird Science' and 'My Science Project', and I think it was the best of the three. It's Val Kilmer's best role.
post #32 of 165
I would like to nominate Lee Woo-Jin from Oldboy to the list. In my estimation, he is the KING asshole.
post #33 of 165
How about William Atherton in anything made in the 80s? Jeez. But I nominate him specifically for Ghostbusters. Way to screw it all up, asshole.

And then we can get into what I think are two of the. biggest. assholes. ever. Blake and Dave Moss from Glengarry Glen Ross. Now everyone has asshole moments throughout the film, but these are the only two who for every single minute of their time onscreen are completely unmitigated assholes.

Blake comes down to the office to help out Mitch and Murray, but he was probably more than happy to do it because he enjoys the power trip. He actually LIKES destroying these men's spirits. He enjoys the fact he can screw with them and make them feel like crap. And the best part? He does it well.

Dave Moss is a manipulative and coniving asshole. He starts by fully working George Aaronow into his scheme by using wonderful asshole-like tactics such as "I'll make you an accomplice just because you know about it." But when Aaronow smartly drops out, he immediately goes to poor ol' Shelley Levene and works him over the same way. The next day, even when Levene has done his bidding AND made an incredible sale, Moss only treats him with jealousy and disdain. And you just know that when Levene gets nailed for everything, Moss is going to leave him out to dry.
post #34 of 165
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
I still say Gleason is more of an asshole in DIE HARD than BREAKFAST CLUB. A few years ago I might not have felt that way, but the older I get the more I see his point of view over those 5 jive kids.
This is the thing though-
He's already got these kids in detention. He's won. But still he has to twist the knife. Still he has to belittle them even more. Instead of trying to help them (as is his job) he further alienantes them by kicking them when they're down.
Petty. Vindictive. And one bad suit.
post #35 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark
John Goodman has been contested. I'll remove him for further consideration and allow someone to make a case (yay or nay) for him.
First of all, the line is in the movie, "You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole." I think that puts that to bed.

Here's some from me:

Special Agent Johnson (Robert Davi) from Die Hard : "Just like fuckin' Saigon, hey slick!!!" or "Lose the grid, or you lose your fuckin job!"

Richard Thornburg (William Atherton) from Die Hard : "Let us in, or we call INS."

Actually, I think that it can be said that if there EVER was a man who has made a career out of playing assholes, William Atherton takes the cake. Hands down. It's not whether or not he's going to be an asshole, but how big of an asshole he'll turn out to be.

What also gets me is the sheer number of assholes that inhabit Die Hard. Pretty impressive.
post #36 of 165
But I feel for Gleason now in CLUB. He's stuck there on a Saturday to. Yeah, it's his job but if I had to listen to those 5 crack wise and complain how their dads didn't love them I'd not only pay no mind to whether their fire exits are obstructed, but I'd be setting a fire.
post #37 of 165
Elijah Wood as Patrick from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. A pathetic, manipulative, self-centered asshole if ever there was one.
post #38 of 165
Some animated assholes:

Kent Mansley

Arthur Reeves

Victor Quartermaine
post #39 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by thejumbo
First of all, the line is in the movie, "You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole." I think that puts that to bed.
Nope. There's a difference between being an asshole and being misguided, and I'd say Walter's very much in the latter camp. He was right about the kidnapping, after all. Plus, how can you hate a guy who delivers such beautiful eulogies?
post #40 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by thejumbo
First of all, the line is in the movie, "You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole." I think that puts that to bed.
I don't think so, though. Someone calling a character an asshole does not an asshole make. I don't think that Walter is a complete asshole, and I definitely do not think he's an asshole by Bob Clark's requirements that he outlined.
post #41 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti
But I feel for Gleason now in CLUB. He's stuck there on a Saturday to. Yeah, it's his job but if I had to listen to those 5 crack wise and complain how their dads didn't love them I'd not only pay no mind to whether their fire exits are obstructed, but I'd be setting a fire.
Gleason also is humanized when, late in the movie, he has that conversation with the janitor. Suddenly, he has a soul and a point of view. You can understand him somewhat, even if you don't agree with him. In 'Die Hard', he's just a pure, unadulterated ASSHOLE. My vote is for 'Die Hard'.
post #42 of 165
I second the nomination of Elijah Wood's Eternal Sunshine asshole.
post #43 of 165
Thread Starter 
8) Goodman Stays!
9) Kevin Spacey, Swimming With Sharks
10) Grand Mof Tarkin, Star Wars
11) Will Atherton, Real Genius
(by a close margin with Ghostbusters and his "Let's us in or I'm calling the INS." in Die Hard. Die Hard is just full of assholes.)
12) Alec Baldwin, Glengarry Glen Ross
(Out of Cellophane's three GGR nominees, Baldwin is the Cadillac of assholes. And we all know that in the world of real estate 2nd and 3rd place only get you steak knives and a pink slip. He's also one of those assholes Andrew Clarke desperately wants to fuck.)
13) Mark Metcalf as Neidermeyer, Animal House

Still considering Paul Rudd.
Wookie- Check out post #4.
post #44 of 165
While we're talking 'Die Hard', we should also mention Dennis Franz's character in 'Die Hard 2'. Another foul-mouthed, incompetent jerk who gets in the way of progress. Sure, he does something cool at the end when he tears up McClane's ticket, but that doesn't excuse his prior behaviour. When he finally sees the light, grabs his gun and says that he's gonna 'kick ass', it's almost laughable...the asshole is gonna KICK ASS???? Gimme a break. Even McClane doesn't buy it.
post #45 of 165
Oh yeah. after reading a few of these, William Atherton is the clear winner. the trophy should resemble a squint on the forehead of a bobblehead, made in Bill Athertons likeness.
post #46 of 165
I want the asshole to fuck me!
post #47 of 165
Anthony Heald in SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. If he wasn't an asshole the end of that movie would not be as satisfying.

Same might apply for Ray Liotta in HANNIBAL.
post #48 of 165
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth
Dennis Franz's character in 'Die Hard 2'... When he finally sees the light, grabs his gun and says that he's gonna 'kick ass', it's almost laughable...the asshole is gonna KICK ASS???? Gimme a break. Even McClane doesn't buy it.
"Let's kick some ASSH!"
*gets stuck in traffic two minutes later*
post #49 of 165
Clint Eastwood in High Plains Drifter. Even in a genre filled with them I think he beats out other famous Western assholes. Even John Wayne's racist in The Searchers, or Henry Fonda in Once Upon A Time In The West.

Clint walks into town, kills some people, rapes some people, kills some more people, turns entire town into hell, leaves.

Henry Fonda is close, but all Leone's characters are too nobly tragic to be complete assholes.
post #50 of 165
Thread Starter 
Elijah is definitely going on the list. We may have to poll for Goodman. Some good points have been made for DH Gleason besting BC Gleason.

I'm trying to dig deeper-
Fred McMurray in The Apartment. Such a cad.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Drafts & Lists
CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › Drafts & Lists › Top 30 Cinematic Assholes