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Originally Posted by Gigolo Joe
Perhaps I'm just jaded but I wouldn't even give him credit for stepping in the bar. If Tyler can go out and spend the entire night at the straight places there should be no reason why the other roommates can't do the same for him (not all the time, mind you). As far as participating goes, if you want to have fun in a bar you have to participate. Hell, I've been to strip clubs with straight friends and I participated. Should I get brownie points too?
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Living in NYC, I've been to many a gay club. But the fact remains, there are a lot of people (men and women) who haven't and wouldn't, even if asked by a friend. I'm not saying its right, but there
is a certain stigma for straight men to overcome for them to go to a gay club. I don't congratulate John for breaking any boundries, but I do give him a little credit for not even batting an eye when asked to go and for participating. Many people who have never been to a gay club would feel intimidated and just hang out in the corner, taking it all in. From the clips we saw, John was right in the mix of things, getting spanked by a drag queen. That's pretty cool.
I'm not making excuses for John, or for society at large, but gay people (as well as people of color, and women, and anyone who is outside the "norm) have to assimilate to the straight, white world every day of their lives. It's not fair at all. But I do think its emotionally harder for straight men to go to a gay club than for a gay man to go to a straight club.
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| It comes down to Tyler going to their clubs because he wanted to spend time with them, doing things they enjoyed. Not much of a friendship if that only goes one way. Granted, I'm being tad bit harsh considering that they haven't been together as a group very long but I would think merely putting one's toe in the water wouldn't be considered much of a stretch. |
Agreed. However, like Janelle said, John's taking baby steps. Just put yourself in his shoes and really try to understand where he is coming from.
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| Oddly enough when I saw your pic posted on the boards, I never thought of you as black. I always thought you were biracial (even though I just now got that confirmation). Nor would I call her black either. But that's just me. Hearing her say that she would only date within her race came across as racist to me. Isn't that perpetuating (sp) the mixed race problem? By solely identifying with the Black community? |
As a psych major, my thesis for both undergrad and graduate school was on this very issue. I wanted to understand how biracial individuals formed their racial identity. For the longest time, the school of thought was that the child must choose one race or the other. Then it switched to they must identify with both and essentially a new race, different from the other two. My research attempts to show that it doesn't matter how the individual identifies, as long as they choose to identify that way themselves and aren't forced into that label by parents, teachers, and society.
So far, racial self-esteem research has supported this. Studies found that biracial people identify as one of four races: 1)Black, 2)White, 3)Both races, or 4)Neither Race. Sometimes siblings from the same family will identify differently. My brother who looks white, identifies as white because that's how people have always treated him. While I was raised by a White mother, my skin color is darker than my mom or brothers', so I've had different racial experiences than they have and identify as biracial.
Personally, I think as a biracial person its wrong to deny one side of yourself. But if someone has explored all aspects of their identity and found that they connect with one race over the other, that's fine as long as its not done out of ignorance or hatred. Janelle saying she only dates within one race could be racist or it could be ignorance. For example, she had a really bad experience with one race and is generalizing that everyone within that race behaves like that. I wouldn't rush to judgment on her as she seems like a level headed person. However, anyone who cuts off an entire race like that definitely has some issues to work out.