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Am I just embarrassed?

post #1 of 39
3/22/06 at 3:00pm
Thread Starter 
Funny, this will be my first post.

I'm having some trouble trying to understand my feelings, so maybe you fine people could help me figure myself out.

I help out a man, who is a paraplegic, a sweet man who I love as a friend, yet, just recently, we've seem to be more than just friends. He always tells me of how beautiful I am and that if he was 19, he would be chasing after me. I laughed, of course, because I become speechless at these times. While talking about past relationships, I told him that I was a virgin and that I've never experienced an orgasm.

Well, he wanted to change that. He told me, that if I ever did want to experience this, I should let him know, and he would be happy to help out...and he was not joking. Well, I took his offer. It was just oral...and he wanted me to feel as comfortable as possible and calm. Yet, I was nervous, and I only achieved a minor orgasm.
He was sweet, and gentle, yet it still made me uncomfortable. Maybe because we are friends and it was just so sudden. This situation has been on my mind for awhile. I went over his house the next day, and we are still cool, we both treated it as though nothing had happened in front of others. I told him, when we were alone was that he was good...and he was and that it had helped me to be more confident and more relaxed...which is true. Still, for some reason, I don't feel right. I don't know whether it is just because I never was part of a situation like this before, or maybe because I worry our friendship will change somehow...I don't know, and I don't understand it. Should I talk to him about how I feel? It’s just been on my mind for awhile
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post #2 of 39
3/22/06 at 4:12pm
Fuckin' Peter Karrie. Posing as a paraplegic to get girls is just plain wrong.
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post #3 of 39
3/22/06 at 6:02pm
Sounds like Peter Krause is back to his old stunts.
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post #4 of 39
3/22/06 at 6:08pm
This is an incredibly odd first post.
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post #5 of 39
3/22/06 at 6:43pm
My suggestion for you young lass/lad? is make him keep sucking seed, till he succeeds. You want a major O, not a minor. It sounds as if there was no penetration involved, so technically you are still a virgin. Try taking the edge off next time by having a drink/toke or two to alleviate any potential embarassment.
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post #6 of 39
3/22/06 at 7:05pm
Seriously, try fisting. It will actually help you define the boundaries of a relationship while making your partner feel like a puppet.
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post #7 of 39
3/22/06 at 7:19pm
Winterfell's sig offers up my advice.
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post #8 of 39
3/23/06 at 5:34am
*Post edited by daughter*
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post #9 of 39
3/23/06 at 12:39pm

there ya go.

further support for my theory that when a girl chooses to devirginify herself, she should just find a willing, attractive guy that she cares nothing about, take him to bed (make him wear a condom, natch), and kick him out at 3 in the morning.

embarassment solved. you can contemplate the impact of the experience without the awkwardness brought about by the presence of the other party.
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post #10 of 39
3/23/06 at 12:48pm
Future sexual experiences will wash this from your memory.

Which reminds me... where might you be located?
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post #11 of 39
3/23/06 at 12:51pm
mail@savagelove.net

Email him.

He'll help.
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post #12 of 39
3/23/06 at 12:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabfunk
Future sexual experiences will wash this from your memory.
i tend to disagree. if this was her first sexual experience, and first O (which makes me wonder how she knows it was a minor one...), it'll probably stick in the mind. especially if she happened to be sober at the time. the embarassment, however, will likely fade.
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post #13 of 39
3/23/06 at 3:25pm
Thread Starter 
He wanted me to discribe what I had felt...which was a great feeling, but not so empowering...So he believes I only achived a minor orgasm, which was my thought also. Now, this was not my first experience, I fooled around before...just never really had sex or achived an orgasm.
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post #14 of 39
3/23/06 at 3:32pm
So...yeah like fabfunk said, where are you at?

Cause I'm in South Carolina.

Send me a private message.

I can help. I am a multiple orgasm donor.
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post #15 of 39
3/23/06 at 3:41pm
It terrifies me that someone has come here, to CHUD, to detail and ask for advice regarding their first sexual experience.
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post #16 of 39
3/23/06 at 4:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Millette
It terrifies me that someone has come here, to CHUD, to detail and ask for advice regarding their first sexual experience.

Well, what were you planning on doing to commemorate your first time?

You've been pranked! Wowee zowee!
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post #17 of 39
3/23/06 at 4:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Milkyway
So...yeah like fabfunk said, where are you at?

Cause I'm in South Carolina.

Send me a private message.

I can help. I am a multiple orgasm donor.
Be careful. A nineteen year old that can't land anyone but a parapalegic is probably a fatty or a dog or both.
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post #18 of 39
3/23/06 at 4:40pm
Murderball.

Anyway, Damfino is male.
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post #19 of 39
3/23/06 at 4:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Clarke

Anyway, Damfino is male.
Oh.
Go for it then, Milkyway.
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post #20 of 39
3/23/06 at 9:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabfunk
Well, what were you planning on doing to commemorate your first time?

You've been pranked! Wowee zowee!
Would have been funny without that Wowee zowee crap. Damnit Fabfunk. Damnit.

Milkyway show us the pics this guy sent you.
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post #21 of 39
3/23/06 at 10:06pm
JohnShade, is that you?
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post #22 of 39
3/24/06 at 10:12am
Thread Starter 
#1. I'm a girl

#2. Its seems you have not read my second post. I am a virgin, but that’s because I am not ready to have sex. I've fooled around, but no man has yet to pleasure me, because when they try, I either get really nervous, tell them to stop, or I can never just relax.


I am just worried about our relationship. Every guy I've been out with has been a friend of mine, and I’ve always feel this way after I've been intimate with them in anyway, and it scares me because everything changes afterwards and I don't want that to happen between him and I.
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post #23 of 39
3/24/06 at 10:46am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Damfino
I am just worried about our relationship. Every guy I've been out with has been a friend of mine, and I’ve always feel this way after I've been intimate with them in anyway, and it scares me because everything changes afterwards and I don't want that to happen between him and I.
Ok, you want an advice then.

Go rent Boys and Girls, featuring Academy Award winner Freddie Prinze jr. and Claire Forlani.

Then, go with fisting. You, fisting him.

Seriously. It will define where you stand in this universe.

And paraplegic or not, he will feel something.
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post #24 of 39
3/24/06 at 10:48am
#3. Please find somewhere else to ask for sexual advice.

This forum really should be purged, then burned, then somehow burned again.
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post #25 of 39
3/24/06 at 10:59am
*sigh* damfino, sounds like you need to set some boundaries for yourself, and and answer some questions, as well.

what does sex mean to you? is it inextricably entwined with notions of romantic love? is it a standalone activity that you can separate from emotional attachment (i'm betting the answer to this last one is a resounding "no," from your prior posts)?

what do you want? is your virginity an unwanted encumbrance? merely a damfino characteristic? a symbol of something?

why does physical intimacy scare/embarass you?

etc. etc. etc. but there are better places to get advice than here. there are, as jake would say, other worlds than these.
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post #26 of 39
3/24/06 at 11:03am
1. This is definitely stuff you should be telling him instead of a bunch of strangers. He seems like a nice guy, while most of our expertise is relegated to fun things you can do with a pumpkin squash, a gallon of astroglide, a car battery, and 4 hours to kill.

2. If you really feel that close with him, and there's potential that this might actually become a relationship, it's going nowhere unless you learn to trust him, and he understands where you're coming from on this whole issue. That talk should happen before anything else. If you get the feeling this is just about the sex for the both of you, there really shouldn't be any cause for alarm, cause if there is, this is a job for a decent psychologist.

3. If you can cross that hurdle without any warning signs going up, realize that you don't have to speed into sex. Just getting used to being intimate with him, both in and out of bed, is a decent goal for now.

4. At some point you should use this site to talk about...i dunno...movies?
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post #27 of 39
3/24/06 at 1:29pm

The last two posts gave some pretty good advice....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Damfino
I am just worried about our relationship. Every guy I've been out with has been a friend of mine, and I’ve always feel this way after I've been intimate with them in anyway, and it scares me because everything changes afterwards and I don't want that to happen between him and I.
First off, I think you need to sort out your feelings for this guy. Are you in love/lust/like with him? Was it curiosity that prompted this? What do you want from the relationship. Is there a trusted friend you can talk to about all this? (and not a bunch of message board types, a real, live human being?)

Secondly, you need to talk to your friend and find out what he thinks about all this. Is he interested in you as more than someone who helps him out? Is he in love/lust/like with you?

The other thing that concerns me is the prior relationship, are you paid to be his assistant through an organization like the VON? If so, what happened crossed a line, professionally and ethically speaking . There could be repercussions if any of this gets out, in which case it's probably best if you remove yourself from the situation.

I really, really think you need to talk to someone you trust about all this, not only your relationship, but your discomfort with sex in general. If it's leading you to having one off sexual encounters with inappropriate men, then that's an issue that needs to be addressed.

Take care of yourself.
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post #28 of 39
3/24/06 at 2:46pm
Thread Starter 
I feel stupid for even starting this now. I'm sorry about this. Sometimes, I can be naive and stupid, but truthfully, I am uncomfortable to talk about this with people I know, because of it being personal to me. No, I know you say "Yeah, so, you ask Strangers?" Truthfully, I would rather ask strangers who know nothing about me for advice so it's not as difficult.

Really, I was just worried that the situation would ruin our friendship...I am not scarred by what had happened in anyway, I’m just always worry about the aftermath of it all. Since it was a Sex forum I thought it would not hurt to ask if anyone has been in this kind of situation…not with a paraplegic, but being intimate with a friend and the outcome.
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post #29 of 39
3/24/06 at 2:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Damfino
#1. I'm a girl

#2. Its seems you have not read my second post. I am a virgin, but that’s because I am not ready to have sex. I've fooled around, but no man has yet to pleasure me, because when they try, I either get really nervous, tell them to stop, or I can never just relax.


I am just worried about our relationship. Every guy I've been out with has been a friend of mine, and I’ve always feel this way after I've been intimate with them in anyway, and it scares me because everything changes afterwards and I don't want that to happen between him and I.
Which is exactly why you should just fuck a stranger like me, and don't worry about getting nervous or telling me to stop because you'll be tied up and lubed up.

This thread is hilarious and in no way real. Have fun posters.
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post #30 of 39
3/24/06 at 3:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Damfino
Since it was a Sex forum I thought....
You're right, this is a SEX forum, not a LOVE forum.
Do you even read these boards?
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post #31 of 39
3/24/06 at 3:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Damfino
I feel stupid for even starting this now. I'm sorry about this. Sometimes, I can be naive and stupid, but truthfully, I am uncomfortable to talk about this with people I know, because of it being personal to me. No, I know you say "Yeah, so, you ask Strangers?" Truthfully, I would rather ask strangers who know nothing about me for advice so it's not as difficult.
You need better friends.

Quote:
Really, I was just worried that the situation would ruin our friendship...I am not scarred by what had happened in anyway, I’m just always worry about the aftermath of it all. Since it was a Sex forum I thought it would not hurt to ask if anyone has been in this kind of situation…not with a paraplegic, but being intimate with a friend and the outcome.
The only certain thing is that it will change the friendship. Use your judgement and decide whether odds are good it'll change it for the better or not.

Simple fact is, though, there's better places to go to get intelligent advice about this sort of thing.
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post #32 of 39
3/24/06 at 3:07pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioJones
You're right, this is a SEX forum, not a LOVE forum.
Do you even read these boards?
I never mentioned love. I mentioned I love the guy as a friend, but really it was no question of love.
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post #33 of 39
3/25/06 at 9:37am
One word...'chloroform'...
For you or him.
Preferably both.
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post #34 of 39
3/25/06 at 11:01am
THis is soo surreal... I dont think the people who come to post on CHUD message boards are the right ppl to talk to about such matters. Perhaps the samaritans or a love forum?

BUT....since you do want advice....I suggest you just keep pretending that IT ( the minor O) never happened and just go on as mates/friends....unless of course you want to experiance a Major O with the guy...keep him around as your portable tongue... wheel him around so that when you need to get off...hes there...
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post #35 of 39
3/25/06 at 11:31am
I'll play.

Of course it will change the relationship. Physical contact always changes relationships.

But if it will help us put down feckin' Team Canada once and for all, I say knock yourself out.
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post #36 of 39
3/25/06 at 12:09pm
And still we underestimate the considerable power of Team New Zealand.
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post #37 of 39
3/25/06 at 6:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Damfino
I feel stupid for even starting this now. I'm sorry about this. Sometimes, I can be naive and stupid, but truthfully, I am uncomfortable to talk about this with people I know, because of it being personal to me. No, I know you say "Yeah, so, you ask Strangers?" Truthfully, I would rather ask strangers who know nothing about me for advice so it's not as difficult.

Really, I was just worried that the situation would ruin our friendship...I am not scarred by what had happened in anyway, I’m just always worry about the aftermath of it all. Since it was a Sex forum I thought it would not hurt to ask if anyone has been in this kind of situation…not with a paraplegic, but being intimate with a friend and the outcome.
I understand where you're coming from, I was also more comfortable with posting things anonymously on CHUD once, but take my advice...run. Flee to the hills, find a message board that is actually geared towards love and relationships or get enough courage to talk about it with your friends.

These people are savages Damfino, horrible savages. They attack when they smell vulnerable prey.
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post #38 of 39
3/25/06 at 7:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl
These people are savages Damfino, horrible savages. They attack when they smell vulnerable prey.
I gave Damfino a sincere answer, even if the thread is a hoax.

I'll get brutal, but only when it feels necessasy. I don't do it when there's already 'innocent blood' in the water.
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post #39 of 39
3/28/06 at 4:46pm
Yeah, thankfully you're new and didn't know the message boards were populated with mostly assholes and perverts who try to hit on you.


...and seemingly know the best and worst masturbation advice ever.

Look, Crow gave some good advice. I'd go with that.


Me, personally, I've had sex with my friends...and the best way to get past weirdness and awkwardness and just be friends like you were is to just confront it and talk about it and acknowledge it and just be buddies again. Not pretend it never happened. Acknowledge that it happened just accept it for what it was and move on. Moving on may involve getting uninvolved with him, or getting involved, or just trying to get a bigger orgasm. Its up to you, just get past this first event first.
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