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I leave in one week

post #1 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:18pm
Thread Starter 
So I didn't realize that I hadn't made mention of this on the boards yet, but I leave for France in one week. I will be serving as a missionary for the LDS church - or the mormons. I won't really have any access to the internet for those two years, so my addiction to the boards and main site will have to go. I'm excited to come back in two years time and see who's still here, and to hear everyone gripe about how they wish the boards could be cool like it was two years ago when everyone only discussed movies. I jest, I jest!

I just want to thank everyone on the boards for what they do. You've made me laugh, and some of you really helped me through a hard patch regarding my health. I've seen a lot of great movies, and also some crap ones, thanks to your discussions and suggestions. So thank you.

But yeah, moving to France for two years. I find that exciting. By the time I'm back, President Bush will be nearly out of office, and I'll be able to jump into the heat of the elections. Sweet.
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post #2 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:19pm
If I had known you were a Mormon I would have made more Kolob and magic underwear threads. Have fun in France, but I hope your mission is a failure, from a purely secular humanist point of view!
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post #3 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:20pm
Wow, a big leap it seems.

Take care and here's to a safe return to the sewer!
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post #4 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:20pm
I'm sure your many wives will keep the home fires burning for you while you're gone.

Seriously, though, good luck on your journey. Hope to see you back in 2 years!
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post #5 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:22pm
Take it easy.
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post #6 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:24pm
When you look at the moon, know that we are looking at the same moon together.
And when you look at American Idol, know that we are being undeniably gay together.
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post #7 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:27pm
Via Con Dios, Cellophane. I hope your time abroad serves you well.

Thus grew the tale of wonderland
Thus, slowly, one by one
It's quaint events were hammered out
And now the tale is done...

L. Carroll

It's a good goodbye verse. Don't be gone too long.
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post #8 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:29pm
Good luck man, you've made a positive impact on CHUD. Not to take this thread off-track, but you and all the other humane, tolerant Christians I personally encounter are why I hold out hope for all religions. In truth, I would have never guessed you were Christian if you hadn't said so. I guess this just goes to show that true Christians are a lot like sixth defencemen; you almost never notice the good ones.

Also, what Devin said about failing on your mission. Athiesm Uber Alles!!
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post #9 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:41pm
All the best in France....im heading over there at the end of the year, try not to ruin the place till i get there.

Oh yeah...i also agree with Devin: hope your mission fails, but i mean that in a nice friendly way.
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post #10 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graynadian
In truth, I would have never guessed you were Christian if you hadn't said so.
I'll second that. And the mission thing.

Good luck there. It's a fun place to be, trust me. Most people oustide Paris are quite cool. The typical french attitude is mainly found in the capital.

Count yourself lucky they don't eat the missionnaries.
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post #11 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:49pm
Good luck, sir. With sorro MIA for quite some time, this will bring the number of admitted Mormons posting on this site to just one. Enjoy your last week of unbridled freedom (but not too much).
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post #12 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:53pm
Ah, don't forget to hit midnight shows at the cinémathèque and flirt with the girls two aisles down.

Oh, Mormon, right. So... uh, enjoy the riots!
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post #13 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:54pm
Thread Starter 
All of you evolution loving atheist devils will learn, I say! YOU'LL LEARN! It will come subtly and slowly. . . Someone will post a Pat Robertson quote in the politics forum and you'll think "This guy kind of makes sense." Then you'll watch a little bit of the 700 Club just to get a taste. I promise you that once that happens, within three weeks you'll be watching the Left Behind series with vigor and protesting The Da Vinci Code (not for it's poor literary value, mind you, but for all of its inherent "scandal"). You'll all see! Aah, crazy fundamentalists make me proud to be an American. Every time I see an abortion clinic set aflame, I salute the flag and a tear rolls down my cheek. Git-er-done!

BobClark, is that a subtle The Other Side of Heaven reference? Anyway, I will not have American Idol over in France. First, because I doubt they'd have American idol - though I could be wrong. Second, no TV or movies for those two years. That's the hardest part for me. No movies? Snap.

EDIT: My mission area is all Southern France, I'm far away from Paris and the riots. Cannes, Nice, Marseilles, and the French Riviera are all in my mission. It also stretches over into Bourdeaux and the countryside. Also, the island of Corsica is included in my mission. And if anyone, for some reason, is interested in me snail-mailing them while I'm over there, just PM me your address.
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post #14 of 53
3/29/06 at 6:54pm
Good luck in converting the heathens! Remember, when in doubt, a little fire'll show em who's boss!

Here's a little tip about France; apparently, they like to have their coffee served to them in cereal bowls in the morning. Downright nutty.
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post #15 of 53
3/29/06 at 7:03pm
I won’t claim to know a lot about your mission, but if it’s as dangerous as the one Billy Zane accepted in SNIPER I hope you have someone as battle tested as Tom Berenger to guide you through the rough patches.

Always remember: One shot, one kill.
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post #16 of 53
3/29/06 at 7:54pm
If you need any porn sent your way, let me know.
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post #17 of 53
3/29/06 at 8:03pm
Have fun, and be prepared to watch some truly horrific T.V.

Edited to say: you guys watch T.V., right?
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post #18 of 53
3/29/06 at 8:08pm
Thread Starter 
No TV. Or movies.

EDIT: Or porn. Definitely no porn.
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post #19 of 53
3/29/06 at 8:11pm
Best of luck to you and enjoy. Its been nice to have you around.
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post #20 of 53
3/29/06 at 8:12pm
You're only fueling the possibility by saying no.
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post #21 of 53
3/29/06 at 8:19pm
Have a nice time in France.

I cannot imagine giving up TV and movies for two years.

My mother is going to France in a few weeks with a bunch of friends from high school to visit another friend who is teaching there or something.
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post #22 of 53
3/29/06 at 8:25pm
I'm perplexed. Last time I checked, France wasn't a 4th world country, like say Somalia or Nigeria. They do have broadcast television, and Movie theatres, even though they may only play Jerry Lewis films.

Are you being locked away in a Mormon Monestary?
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post #23 of 53
3/29/06 at 8:35pm
Oh great. Another one of these lame "I'm leaving forever, I hate you guys" threads.
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post #24 of 53
3/29/06 at 8:36pm
Come back well-read. Best of luck!
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post #25 of 53
3/29/06 at 8:41pm
Do you haaaave to go??

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post #26 of 53
3/29/06 at 8:52pm
Thread Starter 
Awww, that's just adorable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Death Surge
I'm perplexed. Last time I checked, France wasn't a 4th world country, like say Somalia or Nigeria. They do have broadcast television, and Movie theatres, even though they may only play Jerry Lewis films.

Are you being locked away in a Mormon Monestary?
We as missionaries don't watch tv or movies - generally. Some mission presidents allow a selected few movies to be watched when there is free time on preperation day (the free day of the week with no proselyting, usually shopping is done and laundry washed, etc.). There really would be no time for watching tv or movies. The daily schedule is pretty full.
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post #27 of 53
3/29/06 at 9:00pm
Look at it this way. You'll miss the release of Kevin Federline's album. A two-year moratorium on pop culture isn't all bad.
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post #28 of 53
3/29/06 at 9:11pm
Thread Starter 
There are many blessings in missing KFed's album.

What's killing me is missing Superman Returns.
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post #29 of 53
3/29/06 at 9:12pm
You're starting a two-year period with no movie-watching of almost any kind...in a week?

Man, if this was me, I'd be really pissed that they didn't at least wait until The Fountain came out to send me off into seclusion. But that's just one secular, non-religious heathen's opinion.
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post #30 of 53
3/29/06 at 9:18pm
Thread Starter 
Man, why you gotta go and mention The Fountain? That movie looks mind-blowing. I had it out of my mind, and then - POP - you bring it right back to the surface. That will be one of the first I pick up on HD-DVD ro Blu-Ray or whatever the format is when I return. Other movies I'm sad to miss: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Dreamgirls, X-Men 3, and the DVD rlease of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang just to name a few.

EDIT: There is a positive side, though. I will miss the troubled productions of some movies that may get made. For instance, if a Watchmen movie gets made within the next two years, I have no need to worry about it at all, I can just come home and enjoy it. If Sweeney Todd actually happens, same thing. I won't have to fanboy-fret over all of the troubles.
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post #31 of 53
3/29/06 at 9:22pm
I can’t begin to think of the homicidal rage I’d unleash if told I had to wait 2 years until I could watch Van Damme and Viveca A. Fox in THE HARD CORPS. No God is worth that.
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post #32 of 53
3/29/06 at 9:23pm
I'm just sayin, if I'd been waiting six years for a movie, and then I get sent on a film-free mission for two years...I'd probably have to reconsider my faith.

Not tryin to slag you, just sayin you have a better commitment to something than I ever would.
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post #33 of 53
3/29/06 at 9:27pm
Thread Starter 
I guess I'll just have to dream of that incredible teaser over and over. Crap, it's fantastic.
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post #34 of 53
3/29/06 at 9:35pm
Freakin Cello,

My ambiguously gay friend...we were just beginning to have our fun. Take er easy. Let us know if there is an address where we can send a care package or a picture of Monica Belucci...or Fabfunk.
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post #35 of 53
3/29/06 at 9:59pm
I hope you return Catholic.
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post #36 of 53
3/29/06 at 10:04pm
Best of luck with your missionary position.
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post #37 of 53
3/29/06 at 10:08pm
Have a safe trip guy. We'll save you a seat for when you get back.
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post #38 of 53
3/29/06 at 11:13pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kingcujoI
Freakin Cello,

My ambiguously gay friend...we were just beginning to have our fun. Take er easy. Let us know if there is an address where we can send a care package or a picture of Monica Belucci...or Fabfunk.
If anyone would like my address, I would be happy to PM it. I have paranoia issues with just posting it, though.
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post #39 of 53
3/29/06 at 11:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark
When you look at the moon, know that we are looking at the same moon together.
And when you look at American Idol, know that we are being undeniably gay together.
Couldn't have said it better. I may have to get your address just so I can mail you lies about Kellie Pickler winning. Stew on that thought for two years.
Enjoy living in a place that knows how to stage a real protest. Most of us will probably still be wasting time here when you get back.
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post #40 of 53
3/30/06 at 12:53am
Depending on when you get back here, you might be returning to a Bush-free America; or at the very least, nearly Bush-free.


Lucky bastard.
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post #41 of 53
3/30/06 at 1:14am
Thread Starter 
I leave April 5, 2006 and will return around April 5, 2008 - so I'll have to endure 9 months of it, but that gives me enough time to really understand the 08 elections, and to be fully informed when I go into that voting booth. But I'm one of the only people who's actually making good on the threat of moving to France with Bush's reelection.
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post #42 of 53
3/30/06 at 2:20am
Off to the land of Jerry Lewis lovers and infrequent bathing. Good luck with all that. And stay away from Pigalle if you can.
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post #43 of 53
3/30/06 at 9:49am
So we're gonna be neighbors... Nice!

Don't worry about France, though, I lived there for 3 years and I came out a little bit more french sounding, but mainly unscathed (maybe because I wasn't a truck driver, these fuckers used to burn our trucks come summertime). Cool girls in the south BTW and if you gonna be wandering around, don't forget to pay us a visit to our beautiful & fascist Catalonia.

Seriously now, bon voyage, beaucoup de courage et n'oublie pas tes fellow chewers.

PS: drinking coffee in a bowl? What the fuck...? As far as I'm concerned only spaniards tend to do that, at least the one typing.
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post #44 of 53
3/31/06 at 3:53am
Good luck to you, sir. Two years will fly by in the blink of an eye. Hope to see you back.
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post #45 of 53
4/5/06 at 12:08am
Thread Starter 
Hey everybody, thank you so much. I'm off tomorrow to the Missionary Training Center to learn French for 9 weeks, and then I'm off to France. If I ever get the chance, I'll pop up on the boards with an update or two, maybe some pictures, if anyone cares. Peace out and God bless and all the rest of the goodbye stuff.

Adieu,

Brian
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post #46 of 53
4/5/06 at 1:11am
Good Luck!
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post #47 of 53
4/5/06 at 2:02am
Aye, good luck sir!
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post #48 of 53
4/5/06 at 10:31am
Is it still too late to trade Fabfunk to the missionaries and get Cello back?
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post #49 of 53
4/5/06 at 2:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by kingcujoI
Is it still too late to trade Fabfunk to the missionaries and get Cello back?
I think it is.

But it's ok, and beside that, it would create a precedent. It would be the missonnaries who would get abused and raped.
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post #50 of 53
4/5/06 at 2:54pm
Good luck with those French savages. I hear they eat people and sacrifice infants to their hideous Blood God over there.
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