No, I'm not talking about the 1980s shitstorm of a horror movie, but the "holiday" where we're all free to play horrible jokes on people. The one day when you can tell a little boy on the street that his parents just died in a porn store explosion, then laugh it off with a simple cry of "April Fool's!"
This thread is a place to post all of the annoying jokes that blindsided you today, whether in reality or online. I'll start with this story from JoBlo.com, which I actually believed when I saw the headline:
http://www.joblo.com/index.php?id=10853
This thread is a place to post all of the annoying jokes that blindsided you today, whether in reality or online. I'll start with this story from JoBlo.com, which I actually believed when I saw the headline:
http://www.joblo.com/index.php?id=10853
Quote:
| Beckinsale confirmed as "Wonder Woman" Friday, March 31,11:57 PM ET Writer/director Joss Whedon confirmed today that production on his highly anticipated movie adaptation of the popular comic book series "Wonder Woman" would begin filming in early September with British actress Kate Beckinsale chosen as the lead. Whedon, who has secretly been auditioning dozens of top names in the industry over the past month, said that he was "very happy" with his pick and couldn't wait to get started. Whedon also announced that he had recently finished his screenplay of the film and that fans of the series would not be disappointed, with plenty of fun, action and thrills for everyone: "I hope folks realize how important this movie is to me, and how much I care about female characters. I think we're going to surprise a lot of people with this one." Whedon said that many other actresses had attempted to "woo" him for the part, including such notables as Charisma Carpenter, Alyssa Milano, Evangeline Lilly and even "old farts like Monica Bellucci and Demi Moore", but that he always had his mind on Beckinsale, especially after he had seen her performances in the UNDERWORLD movies, as well as her ability to work closely with past directors [Beckinsale fell in love with UNDERWORLD director Len Wiseman on the set of their first film together, and married him later on]. Whedon joked, "Maybe I can bag her too!" What wasn't so funny, on the other hand, was the lengths to which some actresses went to get the lead role in this film, according to Whedon: "I couldn't tell you how many actresses...I'm talking married women here, promised to blow me left, right and center if I gave them the part." Beckinsale, who Whedon admits isn't the greatest actress in the world, apparently won the part, much like Gellar won her role as Buffy in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" by positioning herself the best. "I think Kate knows that she's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but much like Sarah [Michelle Gellar], she 'gets it' and doesn't mind working overtime...if you know what I mean!" Whedon said that he even met with the recently divorced Jessica Simspon, who he admitted definitely had the "tits for the part", but was about as "dumb as they come". She apparently suggested they use the subtitle WONDER WOMAN: THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR KICKING ASS! as a way to market the film to her fans better. Gellar was also prepared to take on the part of the massive Amazonian woman, but Whedon said honestly that she was "too short" for the part ("She's like a midget with a great ass!"), and that her "melon-head husband" didn't help matters by sending him old Wonder Woman comic books with Gellar's face superimposed over the real Wonder Woman. "That guy's a real nerd." Whedon said that he also spoke to TV's "Wonder Woman", the lovely Lynda Carter about hiring Beckinsale, and said that she too was very pleased with his decision: "Everyone knows that Lynda Carter wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but she had massive tits and enjoyed kicking ass, and that's pretty much what this movie is about: massive tits and kicking ass!" Whedon also admitted that Beckinsale's breasts were not big enough for the part, but that he was talking to the actress about getting them surgically enhanced, if not for life, for the few months that the film would be in production, "Thank me later, Wiseman!". Beckinsale's agent would only say that his client was "considering the offer" and "even though she's happy with her B-cups, might consider a C-cup, or maybe a junior-D, if some of her own demands are met, notably that nobody look directly into her eyes during the entire production of the movie, including Whedon." Finally, Whedon admitted that Beckinsale's biggest champion had been an Internet webmaster that he had met at an underground L.A. party a few weeks back, JoBlo from JoBlo.com, who he says kept emailing him to choose the starlet: "This guy would not let up...he kept emailing me half-naked pictures of Kate, swearing that she would be awesome as Wonder Woman." Whedon, who was so impressed with JoBlo, said that he would even take part in the site's annual April Fool's Day gag this year, which was a nice thing of him to do, especially since that's what you've been reading this entire article. That's right, every word is untrue, folks...gotta love the Internet! |
