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The Assumptions Thread.

post #1 of 85
Thread Starter 
People who drive ice cream trucks are pedophiles. Or, at the very least, kid-curious.
post #2 of 85
All lawyers are evil-spawn.
post #3 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason P. Thompson
All laywers are evil-spawn.
Thanks, asshole ;_;
post #4 of 85
Catholic priests are gay, or at least not sexually attracted to women.
post #5 of 85
Fat people are jolly. TRUST ME THEY ARE NOT!
post #6 of 85
Thread Starter 
People who equate homosexuality with asexuality or, more frequently, pedophilia are dumb.
post #7 of 85
Uwe Boll movies are going to suck. Or would that be more factual?
post #8 of 85
Ok one more. If TWO socks go into the dryer.......
post #9 of 85
People who flock to "planned communities" long to be dominated by robot overfiends.
post #10 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater
People who equate homosexuality with asexuality
Who does this?
post #11 of 85
Soldiers enjoy being yelled at. And dominated.
post #12 of 85
Elder people take anything and everything based on face-value.
post #13 of 85
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graynadian
Who does this?
Let's start with YOU and go from there.
post #14 of 85
People who watch reality TV aren't really interested in being entertained, they're really interested in feeling smarter by comparison.
post #15 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master Chuin
Ok one more. If TWO socks go into the dryer.......
One ends up in Narnia.

Spending time posting on the internet means you're socially retarded.
post #16 of 85
The government has your best interests at heart.

Churches spend your donations in a legitimate, and timely fashion.

Bribery will get you nowhere.

Christianity has always been, and forever will be-God's favorite denomination.

Boyscouts are paragons of virtue.
post #17 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater
Let's start with YOU and go from there.
I said they were gay, or at least not attracted to women, hence making a distinction between homosexuality and borderline sexuality and asexuality. Read better. If you're about to say that asexuality doesn't exist, read more, or watch Kinsey.

edit: maybe it's better to say that people assume Catholic Priests aren't heterosexual.
post #18 of 85
Pedophilia and homosexuality aren't the same thing, there's a big difference you know.
post #19 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boe
Spending time posting on the internet means you're socially retarded.
Ouch. I'm getting off now...
post #20 of 85
Being a musician means you are a drug user and extremely promiscuous and unfaithful. Also, a dick.
post #21 of 85
Any successful person is a cunt.
post #22 of 85
Everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of u... and umption.
post #23 of 85
Americans are idiots.
post #24 of 85
All cops are bigger criminals than the people they arrest.

Midgets are fun to be around.

You always learn important life lessons from mentally handicapped people.
post #25 of 85
Once you get married, your sex life suddenly dies.
post #26 of 85
They're just giving away post-graduate degrees like candy on Halloween these days.
post #27 of 85
All fast food employees are idiots.
post #28 of 85
If you are in a car chase, you may make the following assumptions:

- A woman pushing a baby cart will suddenly appear in front of your car, causing you to swerve. If you cannot swerve to miss and you end up hitting the baby cart, it will be full of recycled cans/groceries.

- Two movers carrying a large pane of glass will, at some point, cross the road in front you. Your ONLY option will be to drive through the pane of glass.

- Your car chase will take you through a food market which will cause you to do the following (the order isn't predetermined, but both are mandatory): You MUST smash through a food cart that sells melons/citrus products, and you MUST be forced to drive through a sidewalk restaurant and destroy the plastic furniture.

- At some point in the car chase, you will look in your driver's-side mirror. At the exact moment that you look at it, a bullet from the car chasing you will shatter that mirror.

- When going at high speeds through traffic, you MUST at some point cross over into the oncoming traffic and drive through it. Thankfully, all of the other drivers coming against you will be evenly dispersed in all of the lanes of traffic, and all you'll have to do it quickly veer from left-to-right to avoid certain death. At NO point will you come across a solid wall of cars that cannot move out of your way.

I think that those are all valid assumptions
post #29 of 85
People are smart enough to figure out this isn't another 'dumb things in movies' thread.
post #30 of 85
You assume too much, Charlie.
post #31 of 85
These aren't 'dumb things in movies'. In the last two car chases that I was in, all of those assumptions came true. You'd be surprised how expensive it is to replace that side mirror all the time.
post #32 of 85
Another assumption:

All cops like donuts.
post #33 of 85
People think that because they post on CHUD they are automatically funny.
post #34 of 85
People will drag any thread into the gutter of stupidity the first chance they get.
post #35 of 85
People who work with computers appreciate the chance to demonstrate their skills in a social environment.

Example: When a friend invites them for dinner and then asks "can you have a look at a little computer problem we're having?"
post #36 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie Brigden
People think that because they post on CHUD they are automatically funny.
In Chud...first you watch the threads...then you post your comments...then you make the threads...then you get the power....

People who like Scarface are exclusively low rent drug dealers.
post #37 of 85
Everyone in Great Britian suffers from very crooked teeth.
post #38 of 85
All gay people are good dancers.
post #39 of 85
People from Texas are Jesus freaks, ride horses everywhere, their legs only know the touch of Wrangler jeans, they speak like they've had a stroke, and they all, ALL have a stake in the oil business.
post #40 of 85
Are you from England, g-dude?
post #41 of 85
Worse. College Station.
post #42 of 85
Oh no. Move to Austin as quickly as possible!
post #43 of 85
Anyawatchin Angel is a woman. Apparently this isn't true, but I'll believe it until it is somehow proven otherwise.
post #44 of 85
The average emotional age of the hardcore anime fan in America is between 9 and 13.
post #45 of 85
The average hardcore anime fan in America really believes that they were the only 15 year old in the world mature and smart enough to "get" Ghost in the Shell, as it obviously wasn't geared towards their demographic.
post #46 of 85
The average hardcore anime fan in America finds Citizen Kane boring and overrated, while proclaiming Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust to be one of Oscar's biggest snubs.
post #47 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suttytx
Oh no. Move to Austin as quickly as possible!
I plan to. As it is right now, I'm stuck in Huntsville.
post #48 of 85
People who live Austin,Texas, are arthouse fags.
post #49 of 85
People who live in Florida and are named Werbal are extremely fat.
post #50 of 85
Or just regular fags/fagettes.
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