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The Assumptions Thread.

post #1 of 85
4/11/06 at 10:31pm
Thread Starter 
People who drive ice cream trucks are pedophiles. Or, at the very least, kid-curious.
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post #2 of 85
4/11/06 at 10:32pm
All lawyers are evil-spawn.
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post #3 of 85
4/11/06 at 10:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason P. Thompson
All laywers are evil-spawn.
Thanks, asshole ;_;
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post #4 of 85
4/11/06 at 10:45pm
Catholic priests are gay, or at least not sexually attracted to women.
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post #5 of 85
4/11/06 at 10:47pm
Fat people are jolly. TRUST ME THEY ARE NOT!
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post #6 of 85
4/11/06 at 10:47pm
Thread Starter 
People who equate homosexuality with asexuality or, more frequently, pedophilia are dumb.
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post #7 of 85
4/11/06 at 10:47pm
Uwe Boll movies are going to suck. Or would that be more factual?
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post #8 of 85
4/11/06 at 10:52pm
Ok one more. If TWO socks go into the dryer.......
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post #9 of 85
4/11/06 at 11:00pm
People who flock to "planned communities" long to be dominated by robot overfiends.
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post #10 of 85
4/11/06 at 11:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater
People who equate homosexuality with asexuality
Who does this?
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post #11 of 85
4/11/06 at 11:15pm
Soldiers enjoy being yelled at. And dominated.
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post #12 of 85
4/11/06 at 11:22pm
Elder people take anything and everything based on face-value.
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post #13 of 85
4/11/06 at 11:28pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graynadian
Who does this?
Let's start with YOU and go from there.
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post #14 of 85
4/11/06 at 11:32pm
People who watch reality TV aren't really interested in being entertained, they're really interested in feeling smarter by comparison.
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post #15 of 85
4/11/06 at 11:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Master Chuin
Ok one more. If TWO socks go into the dryer.......
One ends up in Narnia.

Spending time posting on the internet means you're socially retarded.
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post #16 of 85
4/12/06 at 12:06am
The government has your best interests at heart.

Churches spend your donations in a legitimate, and timely fashion.

Bribery will get you nowhere.

Christianity has always been, and forever will be-God's favorite denomination.

Boyscouts are paragons of virtue.
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post #17 of 85
4/12/06 at 12:09am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater
Let's start with YOU and go from there.
I said they were gay, or at least not attracted to women, hence making a distinction between homosexuality and borderline sexuality and asexuality. Read better. If you're about to say that asexuality doesn't exist, read more, or watch Kinsey.

edit: maybe it's better to say that people assume Catholic Priests aren't heterosexual.
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post #18 of 85
4/12/06 at 12:16am
Pedophilia and homosexuality aren't the same thing, there's a big difference you know.
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post #19 of 85
4/12/06 at 12:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boe
Spending time posting on the internet means you're socially retarded.
Ouch. I'm getting off now...
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post #20 of 85
4/12/06 at 3:07am
Being a musician means you are a drug user and extremely promiscuous and unfaithful. Also, a dick.
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post #21 of 85
4/12/06 at 4:48am
Any successful person is a cunt.
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post #22 of 85
4/12/06 at 5:38am
Everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of u... and umption.
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post #23 of 85
4/12/06 at 6:27am
Americans are idiots.
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post #24 of 85
4/12/06 at 8:23am
All cops are bigger criminals than the people they arrest.

Midgets are fun to be around.

You always learn important life lessons from mentally handicapped people.
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post #25 of 85
4/12/06 at 8:25am
Once you get married, your sex life suddenly dies.
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post #26 of 85
4/12/06 at 9:00am
They're just giving away post-graduate degrees like candy on Halloween these days.
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post #27 of 85
4/12/06 at 9:23am
All fast food employees are idiots.
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post #28 of 85
4/12/06 at 9:57am
If you are in a car chase, you may make the following assumptions:

- A woman pushing a baby cart will suddenly appear in front of your car, causing you to swerve. If you cannot swerve to miss and you end up hitting the baby cart, it will be full of recycled cans/groceries.

- Two movers carrying a large pane of glass will, at some point, cross the road in front you. Your ONLY option will be to drive through the pane of glass.

- Your car chase will take you through a food market which will cause you to do the following (the order isn't predetermined, but both are mandatory): You MUST smash through a food cart that sells melons/citrus products, and you MUST be forced to drive through a sidewalk restaurant and destroy the plastic furniture.

- At some point in the car chase, you will look in your driver's-side mirror. At the exact moment that you look at it, a bullet from the car chasing you will shatter that mirror.

- When going at high speeds through traffic, you MUST at some point cross over into the oncoming traffic and drive through it. Thankfully, all of the other drivers coming against you will be evenly dispersed in all of the lanes of traffic, and all you'll have to do it quickly veer from left-to-right to avoid certain death. At NO point will you come across a solid wall of cars that cannot move out of your way.

I think that those are all valid assumptions
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post #29 of 85
4/12/06 at 10:00am
People are smart enough to figure out this isn't another 'dumb things in movies' thread.
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post #30 of 85
4/12/06 at 10:02am
You assume too much, Charlie.
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post #31 of 85
4/12/06 at 10:15am
These aren't 'dumb things in movies'. In the last two car chases that I was in, all of those assumptions came true. You'd be surprised how expensive it is to replace that side mirror all the time.
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post #32 of 85
4/12/06 at 10:16am
Another assumption:

All cops like donuts.
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post #33 of 85
4/12/06 at 10:16am
People think that because they post on CHUD they are automatically funny.
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post #34 of 85
4/12/06 at 10:17am
People will drag any thread into the gutter of stupidity the first chance they get.
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post #35 of 85
4/12/06 at 10:19am
People who work with computers appreciate the chance to demonstrate their skills in a social environment.

Example: When a friend invites them for dinner and then asks "can you have a look at a little computer problem we're having?"
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post #36 of 85
4/12/06 at 10:20am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie Brigden
People think that because they post on CHUD they are automatically funny.
In Chud...first you watch the threads...then you post your comments...then you make the threads...then you get the power....

People who like Scarface are exclusively low rent drug dealers.
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post #37 of 85
4/12/06 at 11:26am
Everyone in Great Britian suffers from very crooked teeth.
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post #38 of 85
4/12/06 at 11:30am
All gay people are good dancers.
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post #39 of 85
4/12/06 at 11:44am
People from Texas are Jesus freaks, ride horses everywhere, their legs only know the touch of Wrangler jeans, they speak like they've had a stroke, and they all, ALL have a stake in the oil business.
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post #40 of 85
4/12/06 at 11:47am
Are you from England, g-dude?
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post #41 of 85
4/12/06 at 12:08pm
Worse. College Station.
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post #42 of 85
4/12/06 at 12:12pm
Oh no. Move to Austin as quickly as possible!
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post #43 of 85
4/12/06 at 12:13pm
Anyawatchin Angel is a woman. Apparently this isn't true, but I'll believe it until it is somehow proven otherwise.
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post #44 of 85
4/12/06 at 12:40pm
The average emotional age of the hardcore anime fan in America is between 9 and 13.
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post #45 of 85
4/12/06 at 12:43pm
The average hardcore anime fan in America really believes that they were the only 15 year old in the world mature and smart enough to "get" Ghost in the Shell, as it obviously wasn't geared towards their demographic.
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post #46 of 85
4/12/06 at 12:48pm
The average hardcore anime fan in America finds Citizen Kane boring and overrated, while proclaiming Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust to be one of Oscar's biggest snubs.
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post #47 of 85
4/12/06 at 12:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suttytx
Oh no. Move to Austin as quickly as possible!
I plan to. As it is right now, I'm stuck in Huntsville.
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post #48 of 85
4/12/06 at 1:03pm
People who live Austin,Texas, are arthouse fags.
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post #49 of 85
4/12/06 at 1:07pm
People who live in Florida and are named Werbal are extremely fat.
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post #50 of 85
4/12/06 at 1:07pm
Or just regular fags/fagettes.
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CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE CHEWERS › The Chewers Catch-All › The Assumptions Thread.